Sit here, and let me tell you a story…

Back when I was young and noob-ish, I made a great many mistakes and suffered a great many misfortunes. Of course, I fell from countless cliffs, burned down my beautiful 3x3 wooden house, perished to the cleansing flames of molten rock, and took just one too many arrows to the face.

But anyone can do those. No, my story is much more cringe-worthy.

My very first time playing Minecraft, I was hell-bent on building an intricate collection of tunnels and chambers, with the occasional above-ground mansion or farm. In theory, it was a great idea. However, as someone with no experience and very little common sense, I could have hardly had a worse start.

No, I didn't dig straight up or down, I knew more than that. Rather, I struggled with the worst creature known to any Minecraftian- The Creeper.

I had just spawned into this vast empty world, and with my goal in mind, set off to find a cave to convert into a home. This was easier than I expected, and I found one within two or three minutes. I had prepared in advance, so I was *really* a boss with my wooden pickaxe and hatchet. (both of which I regrettably used on dirt.)

So, bravely I dared to walk into the gaping maw of my rocky discovery. Quite happily, I set to work, defying logic as I broke stone with wood. I built a crafting table, a furnace, and decided to mine, for real now. Before, I had done a cursory exploration of the cave, and discovered a deep crevice that required my further attention. Visions of Iron, Emeralds, and Diamonds danced about my empty skull, and I was suddenly amazingly eager to go and break more stone blocks.

Just as my mind was set, I caught that fateful glimpse of green from the corner of my eye. I turned quickly, straining the processor of my cheap computer. My clumsy fingers, unfamiliar to the controls of this new game somehow managed to both back away from the menace, and pull out the fairly new stone pick I had crafted. Being a noob, I had not bothered with a sword.

Now, though I had heard many legends and fables of the much feared Creeper, I had never actually seen the alleged destructive powers. This was before Youtube overcame my life, and so I had only heard of Minecraft through word-of-mouth.

With the mentality of the twelve-year-old I was then, I decided to see just how clever this beastie was. With either a brave or stupid dash, I struck the creature a glancing blow across its tormented face. With anger it swelled, and I again retreated. Now though, I realized with some degree of terror that it followed me, scaly legs scraping inaudibly together. I backed away with renewed vigor, my previous bravery fled from me. I doubted my ability to safely attack the beast again.

And so we played a game of tag, it's relentless following surely giving me some sort of complex. To this day I still tremble at the tale-tell hiss, of which I became quite familiar with as this particular specimen tailed my movements. I gathered what courage still lay within me, and with shaking hands, solidly swung my pick. Unfortunately the impact did less damage than personal affront to the beast, and I again found myself scrambling from an angry monster. I took one step back, then two, but my third step found no purchase on solid ground.

With a shriek of horror and realization, I plummeted down deep into the trench I had planned on mining. I had walked backwards straight into its embrace. I did plan on going there eventually, however, I had also planned on my descent being more controlled than this free-fall I now took part in.

With surprising force, I struck the ground.

Pain and blood clouded my vision as I left my body. Everything that had made me separated and rejoined back where I had first spawned in. Though I was free from physical damage, I still shook like the last leaf on a tree towards the end of autumn. I had nothing of my tools, nothing to save me from the approaching night. I dug a hole with my bare hands, shamefaced and afraid, and hid within it until the rejuvenating day showed its rosy cheeks across the land.

Never since have I taken the presence of a Creeper lightly.