SORRY for the loooong time in between updates! Life's been pretty nuts lately, so it's been hard to find time to sit down and write something I'm happy with. BUT, here it is! ENJOY!
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Kakashi stared himself in the mirror and sighed for the fiftieth time.
You can do this, Kakashi. People quake at the mention of your name. You've got horror stories warning of your return that are meant to scare children into behaving. Being social should not be this difficult or this stressful.
Slowly, he massaged calming circles into his temples. He couldn't believe Tenzou had tricked him into doing this. Kakashi always smooth talked his way out of everything, so why hadn't he tried to back then? Maybe he wanted to see if he could do it. Maybe deep down he really wanted friends.
Pshh. I just couldn't stand Tenzou looking at me like I'd failed.
Must remember to do something shitty to him to make up for being slightly whipped. Oh, wait. I forgot about his birthday. I guess that'll do.
Kakashi conveniently pushed aside the fact that he actually felt really bad about forgetting and still intended to make it up to Tenzou. With one final sigh, he pushed his forehead protector over the coveted Sharingan, pulled up his mask and strolled out of his bathroom.
He was supposed to meet Tenzou at the ramen stand (the only place he knows in Konoha, poor thing) around ten minutes ago but was late on purpose out of spite. It made him even more frustrated that he felt horrible about being late. He never felt horrible about being late; it's what he DID.
The mission they'd planned just before their vacation had gone very well, as was usual for their team. Tenzou had lead his half of their comrades with ease and skill. Separately, they had done what they needed to do, and come together at just the right moment to finish the mission off. Kakashi wrote a very easy and dramaless mission report, and then they were free to do as they pleased for a week. He felt slightly stupid for being such an emotional wreck about the idea of Tenzou being on his own, but he was near accepting that the mokuton user had a very different affect on him than anyone else he'd met.
It didn't take him long to spot Tenzou resting against the side of the ramen stand, watching the crowd with barely concealed awe. It looked like he was enthralled by some kind of off-the-wall fireworks show from the way his eyes seemed to glisten, yet it was merely the everyday antics of the citizens of Konoha. It made Kakashi feel like a heel for the millionth time that month. If nothing else, Tenzou served as a constant reminder to Kakashi of what he took for granted.
"Yo." Kakashi greeted with his usual welcoming smile. It seemed like Tenzou had a hard time tearing his gaze away from the crowd, but once he did, his attention was all Kakashi's.
"Senpai! I wasn't excepting it to be so busy."
"It's the weekend." Kakashi began as he sidled up beside his kouhai. "Most people do their shopping now, when they aren't tired from work."
Tenzou blinked a couple of times. "Do...people not work on the weekend?"
At first Kakashi was stupified as to how anyone could not understand the concept of weekends. He then remembered that Tenzou had no memories before being a Root agent, a group of people who's schedule in no way had anything to do with the days of the week. "Many people don't, but not everyone. It depends what job they have."
"Ah..." Tenzou responded looking not at all confident in his understanding of 'jobs' and 'weekends'. Kakashi decided it wasn't that important, especially since they were late meeting Gai.
"I'll tell you all about it later, Tenzou. We should find Gai."
No sooner had the name of his friend left Kakashi's lips than they heard an ominous roar from behind them.
"FRIENDS!"
A green streak flashed past them so fast Tenzou's hair nearly tangled around Kakashi's neck. The copy-nin dodged the vicious brown locks as Gai came to a grinding halt a few feet past them.
"I anticipated your late arrival, Kakashi, and have come to YOU instead!"
"Thanks." Kakashi deadpanned as he brushed dust off his arms.
"H...hello again, Gai-san." Tenzou greeted somewhat meekly. Kakashi wasn't sure if he was nervous now that he knew he'd be meeting more of Kakashi's friends, or if some of his equilibrium had been thrown off by the gravitational impact of Gai's entrance.
"TENZOU! Very good to see you! I'm certain the others will be happy to meet your acquaintance." Gai bellowed as he gripped Tenzou's hand and shook it violently. Just a moment later, Gai yanked Tenzou close and energetically motioned for Kakashi to join them in their huddle. With a light sigh, Kakashi scooched over and leaned forward slightly.
"Ah. I have...told them you were 'intimate' with someone, Kakashi, but have not told them that the identity of your beau was Tenzou-"
A little squeak sounded from the unsuspecting mokuton user, but Gai continued none-the-less.
"-so, however you want to deal with that situation is up to you."
Kakashi narrowed his eyes. "Told them, did you?"
"HAHAHAHAHA. Yes. Sorry about that, my rival. The news was just to great not to share!"
Despite Gai's bright, large, toothy smile, Kakashi's dead, unimpressed stare did not waver.
"Last time I tell you anything."
Before Gai could argue familiar voices began to drift into their range of hearing. To his embarrassment, Kakashi felt anxiety twist his stomach. He could make out Genma's voice, and Hayate. Those two had almost as few verbal hesitations as he did. It was probably a sign of how deeply ashamed of himself he was that he feared retribution from his less understanding classmates.
"And then I was like -well, you're the one who said we were dating. Right? I mean, she said it."
"Uh-" cough "-huh..."
"And then she was like -well, you're the one who said you didn't want commitment. Which I totally never said. I mean, who says that? No one does."
Hayate cleared his throat to show he was listening. Genma continued to ramble on about his girl troubles until the two shinobi stopped dead in their tracks upon seeing the elusive sharingan ninja.
"Holy crap." Genma gasped. "Is that actually Kakashi?"
"AHAHA!" Gai exclaimed, jumping in between the new group of ninja and the ANBU shinobi. "I promised, didn't I?"
"Hey, Kakashi." Hayate greeted with little enthusiasm.
Kakashi lifted his hand and gave a little wave. "Yo."
"What the hell have you been up to, you dick? I haven't seen you in like two years." Genma asked accusingly as he crossed his arms over his chest.
The only response Kakashi could think of was to shrug. "Ninja stuff."
Genma stared at him like he was the dumbest person he'd ever seen. "OHMEEGOSH. Ninja stuff? Nooooo waaaay. That is like, so totally what half the people in this village are up to on a daily basis."
Tenzou pretended to sneeze to cover his snort of laughter. Kakashi pretended not to notice.
"Yah. Ninja stuff."
The tension that had slowly accumulated in the air was beginning to become palpable. Genma held his ground and so did Kakashi, the two of them staring each other down, one defiant and one stubbornly emotionless.
Tenzou bravely decided to cut the tension himself. He swallowed quietly before stepping forward and extending his hand to Genma. "Hello. My name is Tenzou, I'm a friend of Kakashi's."
The other ninja blinked furiously at the unexpected interruption of his stare-down. Upon seeing the hand in front of him, he gaped silently for a moment before taking it. "Uh. Well, hi? Where did you come from? I've never seen yah around before."
"I switched departments." Was Tenzou's lame answer.
At Genma's eyebrow raise Gai laughed loudly once again and stepped up to the pair. "Yes, he has been hidden away for quite a while doing 'secretive things'. You know how the village can be. Anywho, since he's been given the green light to flounce around the village, Kakashi and I thought he could get to know the rest of us!"
Genma and Hayate exchanged a brief look of confusion. Kakashi had disappeared for two years and reappeared with a little friend who did 'secretive things'? None of it made any damn sense, but that was Kakashi for you.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Hayate." The sickly ninja greeted in a way of agreeing to Gai's suggestion.
Tenzou smiled and bowed slightly to the pair of new ninjas, just as another came up behind them.
"Wow, Kakashi!" Raidou exclaimed from behind Genma. "I had a feeling you were still alive, but didn't have visual evidence to prove it."
Kakashi sighed and tried not to look as embarrassed as he felt. "Hey."
He wondered if it would make things worse for himself if he just disappeared right now and avoided this entire situation.
"Who's this?" Raidou asked when he caught sight of Tenzou.
Uggghh.
"Kakashi's 'friend'" Genma responded, making little air quotations with his fingers.
Raidou looked confused for a moment before he took a longer look at Tenzou. "Ohhhh! Well, that's certainly a surprise! Nice to meet you, miss!" he exclaimed as he extended his hand to Tenzou. The mokuton user turned completely red and Kakashi sighed loudly.
"He's a he. His name is Tenzou."
Raidou's face fell and his complexion quickly matched Tenzou's. "U-uh...oh...s-sorry..."
"It's alright, it's happened before." Tenzou answered quietly as he shook Raidou's hand. "It's still nice to meet you."
Tenzou was answered with a friendly smile before Raidou whirled around and fired his deadliest death glare Genma's way. The other shinobi merely snorted loudly and grinned.
"Ah...WELL. So glad you all have met, as Kakashi was hoping Tenzou could spend some time with us, as he has very little experience in the village."
"Aww, geeze. You're abandoning your new friends, too?" Genma accused dramatically. "It's like you have a time period for how long you can stand people."
"Or just you." Kakashi snapped.
Gai and Tenzou looked horrified as Genma and Kakashi stared each other down for the second time in ten minutes.
"Weeeellll whyyy donntt weeeeee...get some sweet dumplings! Yes! Excellent! Dumplings?" Gai offered with gritted teeth and horribly concealed desperation. Everyone kind of looked at each other and shrugged. Hayate coughed.
Tenzou was starting to understand why Kakashi had been so hesitant to join him in meeting his friends.
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The group sat together at a picnic table in thick, loaded silence. Tenzou had absolutely no idea what to say to try and bridge the situation, and it seemed for once, Gai was lost for words as well.
"Ah...so...what do you guys do in your spare time?" Tenzou attempted, although he was curious as well.
"Pick up babes." Genma answered casually as he popped a dumpling into his mouth.
"Babes?" Tenzou asked in predictable confusion.
"Yeah! Chicks. I mean, there's really not much else to do around here except drink. Unfortunately, I am a working man, so drinking is confined to my days off."
"I guess training isn't an option." Kakashi deadpanned.
"Frigg off, Ice Queen." Genma retorted with flat venom. "Not everyone 'lives for the mission' like you do."
"Attempting a mission once in a while might not be a bad idea, though."
Genma stood quickly and glared down at Kakashi. "You insulting my work ethic, brother?"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Gai leaped onto the table between the two of them as he laughed loudly enough to drown out any residual arguments. "Come, come! We are all classmates, aren't we? Yes, it has certainly been a while, but we can put all that behind us!"
Raidou, Hayate and Tenzou watched the livid shinobi eagerly for their responses, dumplings hanging mid air in their suspense.
Genma sighed loudly and placed his hands in his hips. "Yeah, I guess..."
Kakashi glanced down, his shoulders drooping slightly. "Sorry."
"Excellent!" Gai exclaimed as everyone else breathed a sigh of relief. "Now. I shall be happy to tell you what I do in my spare time, Tenzou! I have a very strict regime, actually. I must be strict if I am to improve myself to my greatest capacity!"
Tenzou chewed on a dumpling with wide-eyed interest as everyone else sighed and focused their attentions on anything else but Gai. "Really? Like what?"
Fifteen minutes later.
"...and THAT, my friend, is what I call "leg day"."
Three groans sounded around Tenzou as he nodded with interest. "Yes, I see. I really like some of the techniques you use."
"OKAY." Genma cut in, whipping his arms out as if to physically buffer any more talk from Gai. "I'm pretty sure my ears are bleeding, so can we please change the subject? Gai, for the love of everything, get a friggen hobby!"
"Or a life..." Raidou muttered.
Hayate coughed.
Kakashi was asleep.
Gai looked highly offended, but since he'd already described his routine in detail, he chose to spare his friends from his 'special workouts' for the time being. "Fine..."
"What about you, Tenzou? What's your story?" Raidou asked with a friendly smile.
All eyes suddenly turned on the mokuton user, who felt exposed and slightly nervous.
"Ah...is it rude if I say it's confidential?" He answered with obvious shame.
"I would use the word 'titillating' myself." Genma answered as he leaned across the table dramatically. "Are you some kind of secret ANBU experiment the Hokage is keeping under wraps? And Kakashi is your watchdog, forbidden from leaving your side in case someone tries to steal you away and unlock your secrets?"
Tenzou tried not to react, but Genma was actually slightly on the mark with his embellished guess.
"It wasn't exactly Hiruzen-sama..."
"AHA! Is the long hair and innocent demeanour just to throw off potential threats?"
Kakashi smacked Genma so hard on the back of the head that the brunette nearly smashed his forehead against the table.
"Oww!"
"Leave him alone." The jounin instructed with his usual carelessness.
"Come on, Genma. You're -cough- being a dick." Hayate murmured.
"Alright, alright...geeze." The offended shinobi muttered as he rubbed the back of his head.
"Perhaps we shall take Tenzou into the market one day and show him some of our favourite Konoha spots!" Gai suggested nervously. Kakashi looked like he was ready to flip the table and leave. Obviously, he wasn't exactly used to being in his classmates presence due to his long absence.
"I think that's great. Maybe tomorrow?" Raidou offered, clearly as eager to change the subject as Gai.
"I'll tell Kurenai and Asuma." Hayate added quietly.
"NOTTELLINGEBISUCALLEDIT!" Genma shouted. There was a flurry of movement at the table.
"CALLED IT!"
COUGH.
"CA- Drat!" Gai cursed, snapping his fingers. "I am always slow to catch onto those things..."
"What about Kakashi?" Raidou asked.
All eyes turned to him, including Tenzou's.
He shrugged.
"I'm not going."
Tenzou looked annoyed and the rest just sighed.
"Figures." Genma muttered.
"Whatever for, Kakashi?" Gai asked.
"Busy."
"Kakashi-senpai will be joining us at a later date. He's already told me he'll be happy to spend more time with everyone." Tenzou added.
Kakashi speared his kouhai with a deathglare, but the younger shinobi hardly seemed to notice. Everyone at the table was beaming at him with startled or pleased expressions.
"Really!"
"No shit...?"
"Excellent!"
"Yay."
"Yay indeed..." Kakashi added with a long sigh.
"Oh, by the way..." Tenzou interrupted with a confused blink. "Who is Ebisu?"
Silence followed the mokuton users question as the people at the table clearly tried their best not to snicker.
"No one important." Genma finally concluded with a grin.
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After a few more minutes of mindless chatter, most of which consisted of ripping on poor Ebisu, the group decided it was time to part. Genma and Hayate returned from the direction they'd come in, and Raidou and Gai stuck around for another helping of dumplings.
The two ANBU began to stroll casually along the market. Kakashi waited a few moments after he and Tenzou parted from the rest of the group before he spoke.
"Traitor."
Tenzou turned to him in surprise. "What?"
"I'm only required to spend three days a week with friends. Of my choosing."
Tenzou took a tiny little breath, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. "Didn't you see how upset they were that you avoid them? Don't you care?"
Well.
Geeze.
Kakashi's defensiveness instantly melted. It amazed him how easily Tenzou could make him feel like a giant jackass.
"I...care..."
The level look his kouhai was piercing him with worried Kakashi. There was something more to it than just annoyance.
"Do you consider them your friends?"
"...Yes..."
"Aren't friends supposed to be there for each other?"
Kakashi exhaled loudly through his nose and stopped walking abruptly. "Tenzou. We've been over this."
"Your making excuses."
Anger surged through Kakashi's chest and clouded his vision. His eyes flicked back to his comrade, and they were hard. "Last time I checked, I was the captain. You don't order me around."
"We're on vacation." Tenzou shot back defiantly.
Kakashi spun on his heel to fully face Tenzou, his anger now evident in his body language and the narrowing of his eyes. "If I decide I don't want to talk to anyone, it's my decision. I don't have to answer to you."
The coldness of Kakashi's words melted Tenzou's defence. "This isn't about answering to me, Senpai...it's not really about me at all."
"Then stay out of it." Kakashi snapped before he whirled around and stormed off.
Tenzou stared after him in shock. Perhaps he'd taken too many liberties with his captain, but...they'd just gotten so close in the last while that he'd gotten used to speaking his mind. There was a sharp pain hammering away at his heart that bothered him. It hurt for Kakashi to be angry. Tenzou took a calming breath before he steeled himself and turned around. He felt it was best he went to his own apartment and gave Kakashi his space.
Not the greatest start to their time off.
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As soon as Kakashi stepped through his front door he nearly put a second hole in his wall.
God damnit.
The last thing he'd meant to do was take his frustrations out on Tenzou. But, he'd been right. Kakashi was just making excuses, and he knew it. He didn't want to 'put himself out there', he didn't want to risk getting hurt, he didn't want to try to make nice with his classmates. He just wanted to exist in his cold, lonely world where things were easy. This new world had awkwardness, pain, risk...
Warmth.
He could just be with Tenzou and that was it, right? He'd already accepted the fact that he wasn't going to selfishly hurt him like he was tempted to do on multiple occasions. His fate was sealed, at least for now. Maybe Gai as well, because he'd already made an agreement with freakin' Ami. But everyone else...what did he need them for? Tenzou could whine all he wanted, but he'd give up eventually. Tenzou could be friends with them if he wanted. He could replace Kakashi. He'd be a much better friend, anyway. And he deserved it more than Kakashi did. Much more.
Sinking down onto his bed, Kakashi ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the ends. Why did he have to be so pathetic. Everyone else managed to have a proper social life without freaking out except for him. What was wrong with him?
No one else had lost everyone like he had.
So they could suck a dick.
Kakashi rolled over on his bed and stuffed his pillow onto his face. This scene seemed awfully familiar, as if it was a repeat performance. Kakashi had to admit, he had a pattern. Do something stupid to Tenzou, run back to his apartment, mope, and then run back to Tenzou.
Because, yes. He wanted to run back to Tenzou.
Interesting how he was struggling with isolation and codependency at the same time. Dissect THAT, Ami!
Now the real question was would he would ever learn his lesson.
Slowly sliding the pillow off of his face, Kakashi gazed at his ceiling as if it had all the answers he could ever need. If only he had had some kind of childhood. Very early on, he'd socialized with his classmates. But that was so long ago he could hardly remember it. Who remembered their lives when they were 5 or 6 years old? Most of his memories consisted of him being alone, or wanting to be alone.
But deep down, he'd wanted anything but to be alone. He hated his empty house. He hated his father for leaving him. For crippling him. For putting him on the wrong path, the path that got Obito killed.
Why would he want to go back to that life, the life where he ate all his meals alone, slept alone, cleaned alone...
Kakashi leaped off the bed and disappeared with a loud 'poof'.
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Tenzou had barely gotten his other shoe off before he yelped and leaped half a foot from the popping sound of someone teleporting next to him. Holding his shoe, gawking, he stared at Kakashi who gazed at him bashfully in return.
"Sorry."
"Uh..." Tenzou answered, still looking shocked. "It's ok."
"I don't want to be alone."
The air thickened as the two stared at each other, Kakashi's eyes open and raw and Tenzou's large and emotional.
"You're not alone, Kakashi-senpai." Tenzou answered quietly.
Kakashi glanced down, seemingly unable to answer. His fists were clenched, his eyes shut. Kakashi looked like there was still some fight in him, a part that wanted to be closed off.
Slowly, Tenzou dropped his shoes and approached his captain. Kakashi didn't move, didn't blink. When he was almost toe to toe with the other jounin, Tenzou slowly raised his hands and gently placed them on the sides of Kakashi's face. Mismatched eyes opened to meet his, swimming with uncertainty and shame.
"It's okay, Senpai. You're friends are still there, and I'm here. It's surprising, but you haven't scared anyone off yet. You're never going to be alone."
Kakashi's chest heaved once and he seemed as if he was struggling to control himself. "But...I have been alone."
"I don't know everything about you, Senpai...but your classmates have known you since you were little, right? Maybe you only thought you were alone, but never were. They were always there for you to reach out to, weren't they?"
Kakashi jerked back slightly, as if Tenzou's statement had truly shocked him. Something inside Tenzou told him to hold firm, so he did. His hands did not move, and Kakashi stayed put.
"...I..."
"Senpai. When you're sad, your heart feels cold and empty. Right? That is a lonely feeling. I know it very well. But, it's just a feeling. It can control you, but that doesn't mean it's real. I don't know if you have ever truly been alone, even if you felt it in your heart. You just needed to take a better look around you."
Kakashi gripped Tenzou's hands as he dropped his gaze to the floor. His eyes had been glistening, as if he was about to cry. It was hard seeing Kakashi like this, but his captains reactions told Tenzou that his reasoning was correct. Difficult for Kakashi to accept, but correct.
"Tenzou..." Kakashi rasped. "I feel cold right now."
With a brilliant blush, Tenzou wrapped his arms around Kakashi's chest and hugged him as tightly as he could. He pressed his face into Kakashi's collar, squeezing, hoping this is what he needed. The response from the other ninja was instant, and Tenzou felt strong arms encircle him. He sighed at the comfort, the safety, the familiarity of Kakashi's embrace.
"I can't believe how warm you make me." Kakashi murmured into Tenzou's hair. The mokuton user almost sighed at the burning in his abdomen, the electricity flying through his veins. Kakashi made him react in ways he still couldn't believe. There was so much about life, about living, that he still didn't know.
"You make me warm, too..." Tenzou responded quietly. "All over my body. It's like I react to you..."
Kakashi smiled. "That's a different kind of warm. It's attraction; it's sensual."
It seemed Tenzou was destined to stay red faced for the majority of his life. He toyed with the fabric of Kakashi's shirt nervously. "I only feel it with you."
Tenzou felt Kakashi's fingers in his hair, over his scalp. His touch melted every muscle in Tenzou's body, the mokuton user unconsciously leaning into his captain.
"Thank you for staying by my side, Tenzou." Kakashi whispered.
Tentatively, Tenzou glanced up, his eyes betraying the depths of his attraction, the magnetic pull Kakashi had on him. "It makes me happy to be near you, Senpai."
For a moment, Kakashi was speechless. He didn't think he had the capacity to make anyone happy, since he couldn't even manage it for himself. The idea of him genuinely being so important to another person, especially to Tenzou, was scary. But...it was also strangely empowering. Like it gave him another reason to go on; to make someone happy, to be there for them. It made him feel useful. It made him feel human.
"You deserve to be happy, Tenzou."
Tenzou gently pursed his lips before he answered. "You know you deserve to be happy, too. Right, Senpai?"
Surprisingly, it only took a second for Kakashi to answer.
"Yes."
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YAY CHAPTER! LOL again, sorry for the long wait. I think the next chapter may be the last one, or at least, one of two last ones. It depends on how I feel things should go. Thanks everyone for your wonderful reviews, and I hope you've enjoyed the ride!