Chapter 38: Auction
B POV
"Bella over here!" Rose calls to me from across the room. I edge around chairs and make my way over to the auctioneers table. "Can you believe this turn out?" She gushes. I shake my head and raise my eyebrows.
When Alice gets her mind set on something, she goes for it. It's amazing what the little pixie is capable of. The local meeting hall serves as our venue and it's packed full. We put out ads in Port Angeles, on the Rez and to a couple other local towns in order to get people here. It apparently worked. At first the auction was only supposed to be guys from our high school, but when Jacob heard he wanted to volunteer himself. He was newly single and trying to make Leah jealous for breaking up with him. He got a few of his friends to join as well. Then Esme thought of the idea of a bunch of the local single dad's, like Frank Hale and Charlie, and if they would be interested. So we offered and they accepted. Soon we had options for not only the younger girls in the area, but for the single divorcee's.
I scan the room quickly. The bar that's been setup on one side of the wall is more crowded than Wal-mart on Black Friday, those poor bartenders. The silent auction for gift baskets is set up along the opposite wall and seems to be getting a decent amount of traffic. I hope my basket of baked goods sells well.
Esme comes over carrying an arm load of paddles.
"Oh Bella! There you are! Good!" She huffs. "You're needed backstage. The boys are having wardrobe malfunctions. You'd think they'd never even seen bow ties before."
"On my way." I answer as I make my way over to the door that leads to the make-shift green room. I enter the room and am immediately surrounded by half naked men all wearing jeans and different colored bow ties. That's the outfit Emmett and Alice decided on. Chippendales meets Cowboy.
"Woman in the room!" Emmett sees me and bellows over the laughter.
"Hey Em," I wave at him. "I heard I'm needed."
"I'll say. Help Mike over there. He's about to make an origami swan out of a fucking tie."
"Alright." I answer as I squeeze myself through the crowd over to Mike. "Hey Mike!" I greet as I get in earshot.
"Oh jeez, thank goodness, a female. Bella will you help me with this noose?" He asks.
"Of course." I answer.
"Thanks." He gives me a goofy and slightly embarrassed grin. I smooth the mangled piece of material, center it around his neck and begin the simple process of tying it.
"Seen Edward yet?" Mike asks.
"Nope, where is he?" I ask.
"Over behind the changing room curtain last I checked. He was running around doing stuff for his mom up until a couple minutes ago."
"Thanks. So how are you doing Mike?" I ask.
"Fine. I mean I'm a little nervous. I feel like I'm a piece of meat. I hope I don't get a bunch of desperately skanky girls that bid on me."
"Well, even if you do, make sure you give her her money's worth."
"Oh I'll make it worth every penny." Mike chuckles.
I roll my eyes and pat the perfect bow down on his neck.
"You're all done." I say smiling.
"Thanks Bella!" Mike gushes as he surveys the tie.
"You're welcome!" I answer as I make my way over to the changing curtain. Before I get ten feet though, a hand rests on my shoulder.
"Hey honey." A gruff voice coughs. I turn to see my dad smiling sheepishly in his fishing jeans and a black tie. "What are you doing in here?" He crosses his arms over his furry chest and I can tell he's just as embarrassed at this situation as I am.
"Esme told me there were wardrobe malfunctions to tend to, so here I am." I shrug and avert my eyes to the ground.
"Ah, I see. Well, show time starts soon. You better get going if you want to get good seats and first dibs on your guy." He does the eyebrow wiggle and I giggle.
"Thanks dad. I was just going to look for him before the show starts. I'll go out in a few."
"Alright baby girl." He nods and pats my shoulder before he turns to go break up a couple of guys who are horsing around. I turn back and yet again try to make my way to the changing curtain over in the corner.
"Bells!" Jacob huffs in my ear, causing me to grab my heart in shock and jump. I turn to him and sock him in the arm. He's wearing a red bow tie and what looks like new jeans.
"Don't do that!" I scold him.
"Sorry," He snorts. "What are you doing in here?"
"Ugh, Esme sent me in here to help with bow ties and last minute stuff. Is that okay?"
"Yeah, just wondering. Hey, what's it like out there?"
"Madness. Wall to wall women. A single guys wet dream." I shake my head and roll my eyes.
"Is Leah out there?" He asks quieter.
"I didn't see her but I would think she would be. Every other girl is there."
"Don't tell her I asked." He whispers out of the corner of his mouth.
"Your secret's safe with me. Nothing works better for a girl to realize she still wants you then when other girls want him too." I reassure him.
"Thanks Bells." He grins. "Now go find your man."
"Thanks." I roll my eyes and with more resolve head straight to the cream curtain.
I reach my hand to the material and pull it aside slightly before launching myself into it. I'm met with a choking sound that turns into a hum.
"Hey gorgeous." His arms envelope me and his lips find my earlobe.
"Hey yourself." I laugh. "Thought I was some guy coming in here to compare sizes or something?"
"I'd win hands down. But better that than another girl." He laughs. I push off him for a second and take in his outfit. He's wearing a pair of jeans and a green bow tie. I run my hands from his shouldesr to his hips, taking in everything.
"You like?" He asks.
"Mmhmm." I answer as my fingers play with the waist of the jeans.
"Well, hands off the merchandise until you've paid for it." He teases as he removes my hands and kisses the palms. My face contorts into a pout and he leans in to kiss it away. "How many women are out there?"
"Scores." I answer rolling my eyes. "You boys are in for a rough night."
"Yikes really?" He asks, a furrow creasing his brow.
"Yeah. I think every girl and their mom from our high school is here. Not to mention women from Port Angeles and the Rez."
"Yikes, are there enough guys to go around?" Edward asks.
"I'm not worried about every guy. I'm just worried about mine. I hope I brought enough money to make sure he comes home with me."
"You and me both babe." Edward agrees as he wraps both his arms around my neck.
"Okay, well I'm pretty sure Carlisle will be here in a second to get everyone in position. I better head out." I sigh.
"Alright," He huffs. "Make sure you get a table right up front. I'll be struttin' it for you."
"Oh don't worry, Alice reserved us the very first table." I reassure him.
"Good." He nods and kisses me once more before pulling the curtain back and leading us into the room full of testosterone. I edge through the rambunctious guys, Edward gripping my hand tightly. As we reach the door it opens to reveal Carlisle with a clipboard.
"Bella. Edward." He smiles. "We're starting."
"Okay," I nod and squeeze Edward's hand before I slip through the door. I glance back at him and leave him with a wink.
"OK GUYS! LISTEN UP!" Carlisle shouts as the door closes. I turn to see that the tables are filling quickly. The bar has a few stragglers around it and Alice is adjusting the microphone on the stage. I scurry to take a seat at the front table with Rose, Angela, Jessica and Lauren.
The lights dim as Alice finally gives in and yanks the mic off the stand. Her smile lights up her face.
"Welcome ladies to the Forks High School Prom Fundraiser!" A round of hoots, cheers and whistles makes her smile even wider. "We have a fine selection of items up for bid, and we also have some silent auction items as well." She smirks.
"Now before we start I'm going to point out the Inebriation Patrol along the edge of the room." She gestures to two of Charlie's married officers standing at either entrance of the room. "We're here to have a good time, but if you get a little carried away then they will remove you. As for the bidding rules, every lady here has a paddle. If you see something you like, raise your paddle. The bidding will go up in increments of ten dollars; minimum buys are set at 30 dollars."
"All sales are final. Make sure that you read over the rules and limits that were given out to you when you received your paddle. If you did not get a copy, there are a couple set at each table."
I grab the one sitting in the center of our table and glance over it. It basically says that even if you buy the guy, you aren't buying rights or freedoms. The auctioned have a right to set limits. Sexual/physical conduct is not a guaranteed perk of buying a guy. I set the brochure down and look back up at Alice.
"If that's everything…" She leads. "Then I guess without further ado I present to you, the men of Forks!" The lights go out and spotlights being run by a couple of Esme's book club ladies are focused on the door from which the guys will enter.
The speakers fill the room with sirens and a guitar solo. "Ahh yes!" The singer starts as the door flies open and the boys pour out in a line, Emmett leading the pack. They rush the stage and form a line facing the audience. The amount of cat calls and squeals from women causes the walls to shake.
There's about 50 men total. Edward is in the middle of the pack, standing between Jasper and Jacob. I put my fingers in my mouth and let out a shrill whistle. All the guys have smiles on their faces, a few have eyes the size of saucers as they take in the amount of women in the room. Charlie brings up the end of the line and takes the stairs quickly. His mouth is set in a small line as he gives an uncomfortable smile. If I could read his mind it might be saying something like 'What the hell have I gotten myself into?'
His eyes lock onto mine and I give him the thumbs up. He gives me a slight smile and the eyebrow wiggle. I put my hand over my mouth to stifle my giggle. The song picks up and the guys back up to the wall. The spotlight rests on Emmett as he takes center stage. Alice introduces him as he pulls a Michael Jackson type of hip thrust and then points and winks at Rose. Rose rolls her eyes and then lets out a hoot.
Each guy is introduced by Alice and takes a turn in the spotlight, some more comfortable than others. A couple of them give a little wave and then step back. A few of the daring ones do a spin or some sort of dance move. When the spotlight gets to Jazz he strikes a pose and pouts his lip. A few squeals ring out. Jasper melds back in and Edward steps forward. He does a quick spin on the ball of his foot then lip sings to the song. "Run run runaway baby before I put my spell on you!" He points to me and I blush. Then he moonwalks back into his place in line.
Jacob steps up to the light. He winks then crouches before springing and pulling a backflip. Another round of squeals and whistles rings out as he snaps his fingers and lets the line continue down.
When it's finally Charlie's turn he takes a couple of stiff steps into the spotlight and gives a small smile before giving a bow. The last few words ring out. "You better run run runaway baby!"
The lights go out and the house erupts in cheers. When the lights come back a new song starts again but quieter. "I can be a freak, I can I can be a freak, I can I can be a freak every day of every week." The song picks up.
Emmett steps back up to the center and Alice reads off a clipboard as he struts his stuff. "Emmett is a senior at Forks High School. He plays left tackle on the football team, is a state ranked wrestler and plays catcher for the baseball team. He enjoys shaking his groove thing to music and watching any Chuck Norris film ever made. If you bid on him he says he'd like to spend the night partying. The bidding starts at 30 dollars."
Immediately Rose puts her paddle in the air. "40." Alice chimes. Apparently Rose isn't the only one to hold an interest in Emmett. A few other paddles bring the total up to "70!" Emmett clutches his chest and pushes his thumbs up in a 'higher' motion. Rose bids again for 80 and a couple others bring the bid up to a hundred. Emmett smirks but motions for higher bids again. A couple other girls raise their hands and bring the bid up to 130. "Going once, going twice..." Alice offers. Emmett nods and rewards the crowd with a little butt wiggle, causing Rose to raise her paddle and shout $150. "Sold for $150!" Alice crows. A trill of giggles springs from Rose's mouth as Emmett points at her then hops off the stage and gives her a little lap dance before exiting to the green room.
The next few guys walk up there and do their things. None of them sell for over 100. Now it's Jasper's turn. Lady Antebellum's Lookin' For A Good Time starts up on the speakers. He pulls some crazy cowboy type moves that get the ladies worked up.
"Jasper is a senior at Forks High School. He's the starting quarterback for the football team and goal keeper on the soccer team. He enjoys horseback riding in the moonlight and cuddling next to a warm fire. If you bid on this handsome cowboy he'd be happy to take ya bull ridin'.." Alice chuckles and starts the bidding at 30. Soon Jasper sells for 120 to a cheerleader that Alice finagled into bidding for him. Jasper winks to the cheerleader and then to Alice and heads to the side door.
I sit up a little straighter as my prize takes his spot in the light. The song More by Usher is the song he's been chosen to dance to. I laugh as he pulls a robot type dance move and then proceeds to fist pump like the Jersey Shore goons. I know he hates that show and is only trying to make fun of it.
"Edward is a junior at Forks High School. He plays running back on the football team, point guard in basketball and first base in baseball. He enjoys playing piano and driving his Subaru WRX as fast as he can. If you bid on him he would like to spend the night learning everything about you." Edward bobs his body to the beat as Alice gives him his introduction and starts the bidding. He beams at me and I raise my paddle to up the bid to 70.
"I have 70. Do I hear 80? 80 in the back. 90? Anyone want him for 90? 90…100…110!" Bids fly off at rapid succession. I begin to get nervous. I lift my paddle for 150 as the bids slow down. "I have 150 to the lovely lady in the front row." Alice gushes and Edward points at me as he wiggles his hips. I bite my lip and then blow a kiss at him. "150 going once…160 in the back!" Alice squeals and Edward squints to see who is bidding on him. I crane my neck to see who is still in this with me before putting my paddle up again. "170 here…" Alice answers, "…and 180 in the back!" Really? Screw this.
"200!" I shout as I raise my paddle. "More!" the music shouts.
"Woah! We've broken a record!" Alice sings. Edward smiles at me.
"210!" The girl from the back yells.
"220!" I shout. "More!" The music echoes again.
"230!" She yells again. I stand and face the back of the room. The lights are in my eyes so I don't see who it is bidding for him.
"300!" I fire back knowing that that's the last I can do. I only brought three hundred with me tonight. I turn back to look at Alice and Edward with an exhausted and frustrated look on my face.
Alice blinks and before another bidder can react…"SOLD! For 300 to the gorgeous lady in the front!" With that the music ends. "Gonna push it to the limit give it more!"
I slump in my seat exhausted, but a smile creeps over my face. I knew there was a reason I was pulling the extra shifts at Newton's and saving. Whew, I think I spent less on my actual dress for prom.
Edward looks like he's relieved as he heads off stage. I exhale heavily and calm myself as Jacob gets up and dances to I Like That by Static Revenge & Richard Vission. He tosses a few of his taekwondo moves in and gets the bids to rocket up. Jacob sells for 200, I don't catch to whom.
Angela buys Ben for 110. Jessica buys Mike for 100 and Lauren buys Tyler for 100.
"Okay all you hot mamas out there!" Alice shouts. "We have some mature men for you to bring home with you tonight!"
With that the music changes from current songs to older songs. Jimmy, Charlie's young officer dances to Michael Jackson's Bad and ends up selling for 120. Frank Hale dances to War by Edwin Starr, using plenty of hip thrusts and pistol holstering and he sells for 140. Soon we've reached the final volunteer of the evening.
"Ok ladies!" Alice squeals. "We've saved the best for last! Take a big bite out of Forks finest! The Chief of Police…Charlie Swan!"
I let out another sharp whistle for my dad as the funk beat starts making everyone nod their heads. A chair scrapes next to me and a person sits down.
"Good, I didn't miss it!" Edward huffs.
"Miss what?" I ask.
He beams as he points back to my father who is now letting the beat of the 70's Disco Hit move his body. As the first lyrics start he immediately springs into action.
My baby moves at midnight, goes right into the dawn.
My woman takes me higher, my woman keeps me warm.
My mouth drops open and I am floored. I look around at all of the older women and they all look like they've been transported back to the 70's, the young ones as well. My dad is reenacting the John Travolta Saturday Night Fever disco dance to You Should Be Dancing by the BeeGees.
He starts with the wrist movement and then does the across the audience pointing. He then does the wrist spinning move and by the time he gets to the hip thrust I am only daring to watch him from behind the safety of my hands over my face.
"Your dad is hot!" Lauren shouts over the crowd. "I didn't know he could dance so well!"
"Let's start the bidding!" Alice shouts as my dad continues to bounce from foot to foot. "I say we start at 50 for this bad boy!"
Within thirty seconds my dad is being auctioned for 120 dollars. When he drops into the rolling splits the bids fire up to 200. As soon as he pulls the up and down knee motions the women go crazy and he breaks 300.
"Come on ladies can I see 350?" With that my dad does a leaping toe touch and a woman a couple tables over leaps into the air. "500!" She yells as she waves her checkbook.
Dad snaps into the classic disco pose, hip thrusts to the side and punches his right arm in the air, the other hand on his waist as Alice yells "SOLD!" The whole place goes up in a standing ovation round of applause as Charlie once again bows and then jogs off stage to the green room.
E POV
"Thank you everyone so much for the wonderful evening! We hope you enjoyed yourself and we thank you for helping support the Forks High School Prom Committee! Have a great time on all your dates! Oh, and for all you ladies not going home with some arm candy, we are at least giving you some real candy. Mrs. Crowley was kind enough to make a small bag of homemade truffles for every guest here! Thanks again!" Alice finishes her job as hostess and bounds off stage to make her way back to the auctioneers table to finish organizing everything.
I turn to look at Bella who is beat red and has her head still in her hands trying to shrink in her seat. It causes me to laugh and take a seat next to her again. "You good there babe?" I ask quietly in her ear.
"Oh good LORD!" Bella groans. "I didn't know my dad was capable of that, let alone that he would do that in front of a roomful of hormonal women!" I chuckle more.
"It wasn't that bad." I try to appease her. "He was actually pretty awesome! He's got it going on for a guy his age!"
"Did you know he was going to do that?" She sits up and looks at me in what I assume is her most severe glare.
"I didn't know he was going to do that specifically. But I did know that he had requested that song from Carlisle and that he told them he had a plan."
"Oh. My. God!" Bella whispers. "I think the worst part is I finally understand why my mom fell for him. That and the fact that he's kept that 70's porn mustache for so long." She shakes her head back and forth as I howl with laughter and nearly fall out of my chair.
"Who bought him anyway?" She asks as she starts looking around. I can't answer because I'm laughing too hard. "Oh come on Edward. It's not that funny."
"Oh I'd say it ranks up there with you trying to wiggle Jell-O out of your bra." I manage to squeak through tears of laughter. She swats me teasingly on the arm and huffs.
"Seriously though. Who paid for my dad?"
"I believe I did." A voice answers from behind me. I turn to see a middle aged Native woman. Her hair is cut short and she's wearing skinny jeans and a shirt that sets off her russet skin nicely.
"Sue?" Bella asks. "You bought my dad?"
"Sure did." She smiles. Bella had told me about how Sue had been coming over more since Christmas. Her husband died last year and one night Charlie was over at Billy's when Sue dropped Leah off. From what Bella tells me Sue and Charlie were just friends.
"Well I guess that answers your question." I offer. "Now, time for you to go claim your prize." I offer Bella my hand and she takes it and stands.
"All 300 bucks worth of it." She smiles.
"I have to go claim my big ticket prize as well." Sue adds as she follows us over to the extremely crowded table.
Fifteen minutes later Bella has shucked out 300 dollars and I'm officially her date for the evening. Sue is just paying her ticket when Chief Swan approaches us.
"Hey there kids." He smiles sheepishly.
"Hey Chief Swan!" I greet him with a handshake. "Good show! That was incredible."
"Yeah dad!" Bella blushes. "Where did you learn that?"
"I never forgot it." He admits. "You're mom always had a thing for John Travolta. I watched that part of the movie 50 times before I got it down. I remember taking your mom to a 70s themed school dance, I pulled that move to impress her. And if I'm not mistaken, that was the night you were conceived."
"Ugh, Dad! TMI!" Bella pushes her hands to her ears and cringes. "We're leaving! Have fun on your…date." She furrows her brow and leads me out the door by the hand. Before we get to the door though, we're blocked by our arch enemy, Tanya the meddling Medusa.
"Oh look who it is." Tanya smarmily drawls.
"Break out of house arrest Tanya? Does your warden know where you are?" Bella spits back.
"My mother, if that's what you're referring to, knows I'm here. She's somewhere around as well."
"Well then how about you step back and let Edward and I pass before she sees that you're harassing me again?" Bella fires back. Tanya narrows her eyes and purses her lips together before sliding two inches to the left. Bella pushes past her and I toss her a spiteful glance as we pass.
"I cannot stand her!" Bella hisses from between her teeth. "She was probably the one who was trying to outbid me on you."
"Actually no, that was some drunk woman. Maybe from Port Angeles, 'cause I had never seen her before. She looked like she was forty."
"What the? Why was she bidding on you?" She asks stupidly.
"She was drunk…and I'm hot stuff." I answer snidely as we reach my car.
"This is true." Bella smirks as she ducks into the passenger seat.
"So where to?" I ask gallantly. "You have paid your fee and now are free to reap your reward."
"Well, I haven't eaten since this morning. Let's go get dinner. Surprise me as to where."
I ponder this for a moment before deciding. I pull out and take off like every other couple is in the process of doing. Bella fiddles with the radio until she finds a station that's playing You Should Be Dancing by the BeeGees. She cringes and quickly turns the radio off. I chuckle and grab her hand to leave a kiss on her knuckles.
A short while later we pull up to the Dairy Shack.
"The Dairy Shack?" Bella asks.
"Yeah, it's the first place we were alone and I got to start getting to know you." I shrug knowing that it's kind of cheesy.
"Aw, that's cheesy and sweet." She leans over the console and leaves a kiss on my cheek. As we exit the vehicle I notice just about every other high school couple is here also. Lauren, Tyler, Jessica and Mike all sit at one of the tables laughing. A few of the guys from the team are sitting with their dates at another table.
I lean into Bella's ear and whisper. "Looks like the cafeteria at school." She giggles and nods her head.
"You can take the students out of high school, but you can't take the high school out of the students."
We get up to the window and order some food then manage to snag a table just as a couple get up to leave. Bella giggles as I pull a chair out for her.
"What's so funny?" I ask amusedly.
"This is the same table we sat at that day you were referring to. The day we met to discuss the project and then I stormed off." I look around and notice she's right.
"Huh. Well that's funny. Hey, you never did tell me why you stormed off so suddenly anyway. I got your number and thought I was being all suave by pushing your hair behind your ear and then you just turned and ran."
"Yeah," Bella nods and ducks her head in shame. "That was because of what you said."
"What did I say?" I ask trying to rack my brain to remember.
"You said that you weren't most other guys. You were trying to prove to me that you were different, but it ended up backfiring."
"Why?" I press on.
"Because Drake had used that same line on me before and at that time I didn't know why you had taken an interest. I was still comparing you to Drake and the memory of him totally pissed me off and scared me away." Bella huffs.
"Ah." Is all I can think of to respond with. Before anything else can be said the food arrives and we begin eating. Bella unpops her shake lid and dips a fry in. I look at her like she's crazy.
"What on earth are you doing?" I ask.
"It's good try it!" She pushes a milkshake covered fry in my face. I reel back and give her a 'you crazy' look. "Just try it Edward. I promise it's good." I tentatively open my lips and take the fry in my mouth. The cold mixed with the hot and the salty with the sweet takes me by surprise. It is pretty good. I chew with more enthusiasm and she flashes me a smile. "See? Good huh?"
"That is pretty good." I answer before taking another bite of my burger. We finish eating and then toss our trash.
"Where to next?" I ask.
"Hmm…" she muses. "There's not really a lot to do in Forks. But our choices are, the Cliffside, where every other couple here is probably headed to." She's referring to the scenic spot that couples go to park. I've never taken her there before because of her experience with parking in scenic places. "I think we've already missed the movie time for The Metro." The only theatre in town. "Times like these is when I miss living in a big city." She huffs.
"I got it." I answer.
"You do?"
"Yeah."
"What are we doing?" She asks.
"Can't tell." I shake my head as I open the door for her and let her slide in. "It's a surprise."