Chapter 5

The Broken and the Shattered.

The next morning everybody had left the dorm when you woke up, a shaft of light hitting your face so that dust particle were visible. You hadn't forgotten what happened last night, you had dreamed of it. Of him whispering, 'I love you', just as he had the night you turned, over and over in your ear.

"Good morning." You tell to no one in particular, smiling softly. You get up and peel off the nightdress, putting on the uniform and clasping the cloak around you. The sapphire amulet bumped on your chest as you glided down the stairs, twirling a grey streak happily.

Sirius sat as he had sat last night, sprawled on the couch, fully uniformed. He saw you as you came down, sitting up quickly and smiling brightly, "Good morning, sunshine." You laugh, clear as a bell, "I am anything but sunshine, sweetie," he gets up, stretching his long legs and putting an arm around your shoulders. His lips kiss your ear and he whispers, "I still love you."

"Me too," you whispered back and kissed his cheeks on your tip toes. He grins warmly and leads you protectively to the Great Hall, through the giant doors and to the Gryffindor table. Everyone is already there, Lily's head leaning on James' shoulder, Peter giddily talking to Remus and Remus politely listening.

Remus stared at Sirius' arm around you as you sat down next to him. He looked into Sirius' eyes as he looked at you, still grinning warmly and happily talking to James. Remus smiles lopsidedly and nods approvingly, going back to Peter.

Lily rose an eyebrow at the arm as well and gasped slightly when she clicked, "Are you two dating?! Is my best friend dating someone and I didn't bloody know?!"

Sirius laughed and smirked, "Yes, I am unpurifying your angel of a friend, Evans." "But," you add, nodding pointedly, "he is my first so I'll know everything if I ever need another." Sirius shakes his head, "I swear you will not."

"I would hope, Padfoot," James began, "that you don't or else she'll get mad at all of us and then Evans will have to break up with me because of this 'girl code' I've heard of."

Now Lily perked up, "And from who have you heard this from, eh, Potter?"

Everybody laughed, out of pure gayness that everything was perfect for one second. You leaned into Sirius, folding your fingers into his. He kissed your hair, smiling into it, "So what was that about meeting you in the Forest last night?" he mutters, smirking now. "Later, sweetie."

The day passed oh too so slow. Sirius sneaked kisses and winks every time a class passed, throwing notes at you in the shape of paper airplanes. Until finally the final class ended, Potions, leaving kids with singe tipped hair and blackened robes to mill out. Sirius was not among them but cut through from his class, scooping you up in his arms. You shrieked with joy and curled your arms around his neck, kissing him soft and sweet for a second as he walked out of the crowd. Girls swooned, awed or jealous that the weird girl with the grey streaked hair got the hottest boy in school.

You burrow your face into his neck as he twirled you to the Forest, putting you down to run with his hand in yours. "Y/N?" you had finally stopped, sitting in the clearing where you always sat to draw in the free afternoons. He sat across from you, rubbing one of your hands between both of his.

"This is my special place… where I can clear my head and… survive the world…" you press your forehead to his and he stares into your eyes, contently. "Sirius," you cup his cheek like you had before, pulling him closer, "I love you. So much." He laughs, sending vibrations through you, "Me too."

The kiss starts just like that, soft and simple, warm and tender. Your fingers hovered over the buttons of his shirt, itching to get them out of the way. His own did the same with yours. And one word whispered from your lips ended the suspense, "Yes."

His fingers skillfully removed your shirt, dropping to the soft grass. You clumsily removed his shirt, slower than he did it, taking off the tie. You removed your own cloak and dropped it to the ground, pulling him on you. He moved his lips down your throat, to your collarbone, kissing and moving on it. Your hips bucked on his, making him smile and move farther down, noticing the amulet, "Do you know who gave this to you?" he murmured into your skin, tickling slightly, "No clue, sweetie."

He looked up at you, smiling, "I actually did, dearie. Second year, the grey had just started in your hair," he pulled a lock playfully, "you left your bag in the common room, and I had been planning on giving you the necklace for a long time. It had come with a legend about a girl. But anyways, I saw my chance, and wrapped it quickly, before you came back, and hid it. Your face when you found it is tattooed into my brain, Y/N. Absolutely beautiful. And it still is." He lays his mouth on your stomach again, kissing it sweetly and you play with his hair, laughing softly.

His fingers played with the zipper on the skirt, sliding it up and down. "Go ahead, sweetie, we're already this far." You curled his hair between your fingers, the zipper making a final sound as the skirt slipped off. Your shoes scattered to the skirt, followed my Sirius'. "Now yours has to go," you brushed the rim of his pants, "Well, I guess next time I should wear my own skirt but-" you slap his arm lightly, "Sirius Black, I will not be half naked in front of you again if you're not half naked too."

So the pants go next.

You were wearing the same red bra from the other day and Sirius finally notices, chuckling, "Red." "Black."

"Am I allowed to kiss you now?" You pull him down, kissing him for a long time and pulling away, "you know the answer, Black." This time it was not soft and steady, it was hard and drived, hot and beautiful. Red comes off, followed your White and his Gold and Scarlet.

His cloak is over you, like a makeshift bed. "I am a virgin, Sirius Black, so you better not include any of the following right now: spells, wand, motorcycle-" He groans mockingly and complains, "But I just got this great cycle that I charmed to fly and-" "No, no, no."

But he is gentle, kissing you softly now and pressing you close, roaming his hands all around you. And when you flinch, when you moan, or bite down on his bottom lip, he just squeezes you ever closer, whispering and laughing softly.

/

"Tell me about yourself, Sirius," the sky is well dark now, fireflies roaming the night. You stare at each other, on your sides, sweat sheening on both your faces. He smiles grimly, brushing hair of your face and straightening.

"I have a broken life I guess, dearie. Born into a pureblood line, Slytherin," he laughs softly, "so when I got Gryffindor I was sort of shunned to make room for my 'perfect' Death Eater brother. They were so proud the say he came, showing of the burn on his arm. But I wasn't. So I ran away, to a place where I would be noticed. James' house, where the Potter's took me in. Like a real family. We're like brothers, us two…" he shrugs, nothing much to it, dearie. How about yours?" he bumps his hip to yours, "Your life?"

You laugh softly and flick his waist, running your fingers lightly there. "Not much of a life, more a prison…" He kisses the top of that hand lightly and whispers, "Please?" His eyes and his voice and just him make you budge, "Well… if you say you had a broken life… I guess I had a shattered one."

You were born on the coldest, most frigid time of the year. Christmas. While everyone else celebrated with crackers and cake, your mother gave birth to you. You cried for only a few minutes before stopping, sleeping soundly. Now, your father had been killed just a few months before you were born. No one knows how, just dropped dead, eyes staring wide open. Your father had been the one with wizard blood, a Squib. So when you started blowing bubbled out of your fingers and floating whenever you fell, your mother… did not take it well.

She hadn't known about your father's family, so she screamed and proclaimed you a demon child. But she couldn't tell this to people since you were still her child. But one full moon, when you were three, it happened. A mad wolf barreled into your house and your mother pushed you into its way, hoping it would put her out of her misery. But it just increased the misery, slashing your tiny stomach with its claw and running away.

Sirius ran his fingers over the white line on your now bigger, slimmer stomach, kissing it lightly. "Continue."

The first time you turned, your mother tried to kill you, taking the shotgun off the wall and aiming, yet missing. It got a little off your ear (which Sirius kissed too), a silver bullet. The next times she just locked you in your room, letting you scratch and bite the walls off, waking up terrified and shivering. She beat you whenever you woke up, claiming you a disgrace, sometimes even stabbing at you.

Your magic grew and the Turnings turned worse, hurting even more, getting wilder. And your mother finally had to get rid of you. She called the local asylum, telling them to come and pick you up. You didn't love her, but she was still your mother, so you screamed and cried for her.

The men probed and prodded at you, electrifying you for tests and leaving you in the padded cell. You kept yourself in check for the next two years. And there, on June fourteenth, your Hogwarts letter came. Tucked between the pads so that you could break it open. Dumbledore made it to the asylum, requesting that you were left out September to May. For therapy reasons. And they did not object, gladly taking the screaming girl of the full moon away.

Hogwarts was out of a dream, accesing the vault of your families money, buying the wand and cloaks in the magical Diagon Alley. Hagrid, seeing what you were, bought you the sketchbook, and a magic pencil that spurted out any color you wanted.

You walked through the giant doors, sat on the stool, and went to the Gryffindor table, sitting shyly next to the equally as shy Lily. But you two clicked and were talking and chattering away instantly. Out of the corner of your eye, Remus, only one streak of grey in his hair like yours, stared at you, at the streaks and the sunken cheeks and raccoon eyes.

He asked you quietly about it later the night, twiddling his fingers. It brought tears to your eyes, of happiness that somebody understood, throwing your arms around him and nodding frantically.

Sirius had glared at him and Remus politely left, grinning like a madman. The pair of you met every full moon beneath the tree before you actually turned, silently crying, or just nervously talking.

It always got worse, Turning, waking you up with nightmare, sobs racking your body at times.

You had started actually liking Sirius in the third year, shyly staring down whenever he looked at you and smiled. You'd never known he liked you until this year, finally, but at the same time it was bad. Because when you knew someone was a werewolf, and you love that person you are instantly at risk, of going to help and ending up dead or worse.

You are secretly insecure about everything, your hair, you entire body covered in bruises and scars, old and new. Your life.

You finished, shutting your eyes tightly, all those bad memories shooting through your head, one at a time. Sirius stayed quiet, sadly cupping your cheek. "Y/M…" He kisses all the scars, everywhere, your arms, you stomach, your face and legs, leaving you tingling. You curled you legs around his waist and kissed him lingeringly, letting go of all your sorrows and sadness through him. He pressed you close and whispered, "I will never let it happen again." And you stayed there, together, until morning.