A/N: For any readers I've managed to pick up thus far, in case you're confused with the update, I moved this (originally Ch. 1) here and replaced it with something a little stronger, an alt. ending to JE. This one is set during Series One, Father's Day episode. Rose's thoughts after losing the Doctor.

Making Every Moment Count

Nobody said it was easy/It's such a shame for us to part/Nobody said it was easy/No one ever said it would be this hard/Oh take me back to the start
-"The Scientist," Coldplay

Rose had never been quite fast enough. She'd been slow to accept the Doctor's invitation on Day One. Slow to make it through the door after Adam. And that had been with a Dalek chasing her. And now, again, too slow. The beast, created by a disturbance in time and space, by her own foolish doing…it had devoured him. It didn't matter that there would have been little she would have been able to do. Because nothing was impossible. If there was one thing he'd taught her by now, it was that. So she might have been able to do something. If only she hadn't been too slow. Even as these thoughts crossed her mind seconds within each other, another darker, deeper thought lingered. None of it quite mattered. Certainly not the time she'd been too late before. Because he'd always been there to make things right again. Day one, he hadn't taken no for an answer. And just last week, he'd opened that door for her, doom and Daleks be damned.

"For once you're not the most important man in my life."

The echo of her harsh words in her mind made her flinch. With a moan, she buried her face in her hands. God, she had such a big mouth and out of everything she'd said that day, not one of them really, truly mattered. Except maybe her apology, but even that was no good at this point.

"Just tell me you're sorry."

Rose's throat clenched as she fought back an onslaught of sobs and tears. She could almost imagine the feel of his huge warm palm cupping half her face still. It was amazing how he managed to make each word, each and every action count. No matter how seemingly foolish…he didn't waste a second. Not like her. Nineteen years of her life practically all wasted moments. But he managed to make every single solitary second of his nine hundred year existence count.

"Another stupid ape."

Rose's heart clenched. This couldn't be the end. Not his end. Not by a stupid primate like her. A hand fell on her shoulder and for one crazy moment, she thought it was him, always doing the impossible. She looked up into her father's eyes and saw that it was not the end, that his next moments would count for everything.

A/N: I love spicy. I love reviews. And I just adore spicy reviews. Do be a giver.