Warning: Sensitive topics are discussed in this chapter. Please do not read if it may trigger anything.

Violetta

I walked back into the living room and apologised to the Denali's.

"No, it's fine. We were just talking about the whole meaning of imprinting." Carmen said.

I nodded and sat down beside Mason again. They all stared at me with curious eyes. "What?"

"Nothing, we're just a bit surprised by your negative reaction. Esme said you were very…tamed." Eleazar said.

"Tamed? Okay, well, I normally am, but that was not Carlisle's information to share."

"We understand that." Carmen smiled.

"So, how long have you guys been alive?" Mason asked, struggling to keep the attention away from me.

I closed my eyes and dropped my head, "Really? Out of everything you could have said."

"I don't know what to ask!"

"You can't just ask people how long they have been alive!"

"Oh my god, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white." Renesmee quoted quietly.

I tried to stop my laugh and put my hand over my mouth. "This is not going so well…"

"You get along with Emmett really well, don't you?" Kate asked.

"I get along with all of them." I smiled.

"She's closest with Carlisle, Esme and Jasper." Leah said.

"Jasper? Really? I never really pegged you as the reserved, quiet type." Garrett said.

"I'm not, not really. I guess it has something to do with him feeling everything I am feeling. I don't know, he's just nicer and more accepting than the others."

"He did have a difficult past too…" Tanya said. I nodded in agreement.

"Who do you get along the least with? Is it Rosalie? It's always Rosalie." Garrett said.

"Edward." I said at the same time as Leah and Jacob.

"Why?" Tanya asked.

"They got off to a…rough start." Seth said.

"What happened?" Carmen asked.

"Well, ha, I hurt him with my gift, and he can't keep his mouth shut about personal things."

"To be fair, he only dobbed you into Carlisle because he knew it was best." Mason said.

"How was it best?"

"Because if he didn't, then you would have left and be living in regret and self-loath."

"I still self-loath. I still have regrets."

"Not as much as you would if you left here without another word to Carlisle or Esme. Maybe even enough to push yourself over the edge. You could be dead right now if Edward hadn't said anything."

"Okay you can shut up now." I shot him a fake smile and warning eyes. "He's called me out on a few things that I never wanted the others to know." I said to the Denali's.

"Like suicidal and self-harming behaviours?" Eleazar asked, looking at my bare wrist where my sleeve was pushed up.

I yanked my sleeve down quickly, "No, nothing like that."

"I must say, you cleaned up well after your party. Not a thing looks out of place. Esme would be very pleased." Carmen said, trying to keep the conversation from turning south.

"Oh, you knew about that before you came, didn't you?"

She nodded, "Carlisle was feeling very…uneasy about it. I assume it was about your activities afterwards as well."

"Well, he never wouldn't have known if someone didn't speak." I looked at Mason.

"He would have found out. Esme would have told him."

"How would Esme have known?" I asked.

"You would have told her."

"Are you kidding?" I laughed, "I don't tell any of them anything, let alone that."

"Well that's not good. You need to trust them." Carmen said.

"Oh, that's the real reason they wanted you to meet me. To convince me to let them in. I get it." I said.

"No, we wanted to meet you, and Carlisle asked if Kate could help you control your gift. He said you were having trouble containing it." Eleazar said.

"That's true. I accidently hurt Esme, and it was a lot more painful than with Edward."

"Hence the 100th time she decided she wanted to leave." Renesmee said.

"I have commitment issues, okay?" I snapped her at.

"Okay, sorry." She lifted her hands in defence.

"Calm down a bit there." Jacob warned.

"Got to jump to the rescue, don't you Jacob?"

He stood up, "Call me when she's over her mood swings. I'm going to the reservation. I can't deal with it today." He said to Renesmee. He said goodbye to the Denali's and walked out.

"Thank you very much for your kindness." Renesmee said sarcastically.

"Follow him then. Stay at the reservation, I don't care."

She stood up, "Grandpa was right, you do need a babysitter."

"Excuse me?"

"He told me that I was supposed to be watching you if you drank, and to keep you from harming yourself in any way. I wasn't aware it would be putting up with your impossible moods and attitudes." She stormed out after Jacob.

"I haven't done anything!" I stressed.

"Vi, calm down." Mason said.

"Stop telling me to calm down!" I yelled at him. I slapped my hand over my mouth immediately after the words left it. "Oh my god, Mason I am so sorry."

"No, it's cool." He shrugged his shoulders.

"He's used to psychotic women…" Seth said.

I turned to him, "Psy what?"

His eyes widened and he shook his head, "Nothing. I'm going to go see my mother now." He stood up and Leah followed quickly behind him.

"You're going to leave too, aren't you?" I asked Mason.

"I wasn't really planning on it, but that may change if you burst one more time."

"Sorry…"

My phone rang then and I picked it up. "Hey dad."

"Renesmee texted me. Letty you've got to try keeping yourself under control."

"I know." I said.

"She is staying at the reservation until we get back. Would you like us to return early?"

"No, it's fine here. Have fun with Esme."

"Letty? I didn't mean for you to find out why I made sure she was there with you, but I am worried about you."

"I know you are. You just don't have to be." I stood up and walked into the kitchen.

"Don't I? Edward has told me a little more that we've let on. You're definitely not happy at the moment, and you don't like who you are. He heard you thinking about what we do if you died…"

"I'm not suicidal, Carlisle."

"He's telling me different and I don't know who to believe. Esme thinks Edward is being truthful."

I closed my eyes to hold back tears as I tried to level my voice, "I'm fine." I wasn't completely successful. I hated lying to him.

"You're crying."

"No, I'm not. I've got to go and entertain the Denali's. See you in a few days."

"Tomorrow night." He said.

"What?"

"We're coming back Sunday night, not Monday morning."

"Why?"

"Because that's what Bella and Edward were more comfortable with."

"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow then." My voice was still shaky, and I knew that he didn't believe my denial of crying, but he didn't bring it up again.

"I love you, baby girl."

"Love you too dad." I hung up and wiped my eyes of the tears that kept returning.

I heard someone clear their throat behind me and I whirred around. Carmen stood with a sympathetic look in her eyes. "I know that you just met us, but we are always available. To talk, or for advice or a place to stay."

"Thank you Carmen." I smiled weakly.

"Carlisle and Edward are right. You have considered death."

"No." I denied.

"I heard the call, sweetheart."

I slid my phone onto the counter island and sat down on the tall stool. I rested my head in my hand and took a few breaths. "Please don't tell anyone else. The wolves, or Ness or your family. Or Carlisle and Esme when they get back."

"Normally I wouldn't, but this is serious. I have to tell Carlisle."

I closed my eyes again. "He knows anyway. He's just trying not to mention it too much."

I heard laughter in the living room between the Denali's and Mason. Carmen walked around into the kitchen and started making me a cup of tea. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It is so unusual that I just met you and I already feel like I could tell you anything. I don't even feel like this with Esme, not completely."

"Esme is probably less likely to tell Carlisle than I am to be honest." She said gently.

I snickered, "They tell each other everything. It so weird seeing people so close together and trusting each other with everything."

"You don't trust Mason?"

"To be completely honest with you, I've known him for not even a full week. It does feel like years though, we know so much about each other."

Carmen smiled, "That's good. That shows that he really is your soul mate, not just some wolf crap."

I laughed, "It's unnatural, don't you think?"

"Normally I am very open minded, but I do find it rather strange." She walked over and placed the cup in front of me.

"Thanks."

"So, is there anything at all you want to talk about?"

"I've wanted to talk to someone about these things for years, and now that I have the chance it's like I've crawled back into my shell."

She stood patiently before moving and sitting beside me. "Do you feel like you could trust me? Or Esme or Carlisle or Jasper?"

I nodded.

"Then follow that. Sometimes the only way you'll know is if you take the chance."

"That was very inspiring." I smiled and sipped my tea.

She smiled, "I thought so."

"It's just difficult being around them. They're all so happy and their lives are as fulfilling as they possibly could be. I'm just a piece of existence, but I'm not going anywhere, or doing anything important. I'm just barely surviving."

"You're giving Carlisle and Esme's life more meaning. You're making Mason happy. You are surviving. You're strong."

"No, I'm really not. I hurt myself every night just to feel something. Anything. I'm surprised they don't know about it. I guess it's harder to smell the blood when it running through water. I've tried killing myself before; unfortunately, I failed, but only just."

"While you were with the Volturi?"

I nodded, "They found me and took me down from the rope. Before I was with them too."

"Does Carlisle know?"

I shook my head, "Well, sort of, but I'm betting you'll tell him."

She looked at me with a guilty face "I just have to."

"I know. I guess it's why I told you. I sort of want him to know, I just could never tell him. It'll break his heart."

She nodded, "It will, but you know what he will do? He will surround himself with his family who he knows love him, and he'll survive."

I rolled my eyes. "We can go back to the living room if you want."

She stood up and followed behind me as we walked back in. I sat next to Mason and she returned to her spot beside Eleazar.

"Is that a hickey?" Garrett asked me.

I covered the left side on my neck with my hand and looked at Mason. He bit his lip and tried to supress his laugh.

"I'm going to say it is…" Kate smirked.

"How's Carlisle?" Tanya asked.

"He's having a lot of fun." I smiled and glanced at Carmen. She was whispering to Eleazar, but when I listened in, she wasn't telling him anything personal.

"Well, we need to hunt, so we'll be back soon." Kate stood up and pulled Garret with her.

"Tanya, you want to come?" Garrett asked.

She nodded and stood up, following them out. "Just to get away from that dog stench."

I laughed and looked at Mason. He rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Are we still going out to lunch today?"

"Well we have visitors now, so no."

"No, it's fine. We've been here a million times. Just make sure you return eventually…" Carmen smiled.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, we'll be fine sweetheart." Eleazar smiled.

"Okay, well we better go soon."

"I'll get my bag and tie my hair up." I stood up.

"No, leave it out."

"It's messy."

"It's cute."

"Fine." I rolled my eyes and walked up the stairs quickly. I returned a minute later.

"We'll be back at around 4." Mason said.

"Have fun." Carmen smiled.

I let him drive since it looked illegal for me to be driving. A 15 year old driving down the roads, looking like Carlisle? That wouldn't go down well. I could probably pass as 17 at the most.