This took longer then I thought it would, but I finally finished this chapter! It's the longest to date, sitting at about 5,400 words in length, and most of it is just a lot of character development and some development of Garrus' and Shepard's relationship. I will probably at one point do flashback chapters to explain better their relationship from ME1 but for now, let's continue on with the ME2 plotlines.
I hope you enjoy this chapter!
The noodle shop was a hole in the wall diner-style shop tucked into a corner in Zakera, cooked up by humans, turians, and asari. The prices were decent, the food was toted as the best in Zakera, and the servers were kind. Some eyes turned to them as they walked in together, a few gasping at the sight of the Savior of the Citadel. Shepard shrugged off the attention, waving at them and chuckling gently. Garrus ordered for them quickly, the owner coming in to wave away Shepard's credit chit, saying it would be on the house for Shepard.
"I realize I'm kind of a celebrity, but the attention really isn't needed." she grumbled, thanking the waitress as she delivered drinks.
There was also something charming about this shop; an attention to small human things. Like pretty decently made old Earth drinks. It wasn't the same, though she never got too much of it due to being a colonist, but she enjoyed it nonetheless. Garrus smiled gently.
"Now don't be like that, Shepard."
"Says the turian who doesn't get poked and prodded a lot about what happened."
"Benefits of being just a crew member."
Shepard laughed. "Not just some crew member, Garrus. You shouldn't be like that. You're a stable of my team, of my life. Can't think of a life without you now, buddy."
Her words caught him off guard, fluster coming to his eyes before his mandibles fluttered, his subharmonics making her translator buzz, but she didn't care. She covered the small blush splashed on her cheeks with a quick drink, Garrus following her example. She looked over the top of her drink at him, surprised that she had caught him so off guard by the statement.
"It's true, though, Garrus. What I said."
It took him a moment to think, or perhaps get jumbled thoughts together, she couldn't tell. His subharmonics were a low buzz in her ears, not so gentle as all the other times, almost confused if it could have a sound.
"It's good to know you appreciate me for more then my looks."
She have a hearty laugh. "Oh, so now I'm just a human toting around an amazingly attractive turian who's not recognized by them?"
"That's a low blow, and you know it!"
"Says the attractive turian who oddly has no admirers." she said with a grin, taking a drink of her soda. Garrus shot her a look.
"You are a cruel woman, Shepard."
"Okay, okay," she laughed, chuckling into her hand, "he has one admirer."
That buzzing in her ears came back again, his subharmonics going wild in confusion and fluster. She blushed gently, doing not the best job in hiding it, but perhaps she didn't want to hide it.
"Can I take a wild guess who that admirer is?" he was almost cautious to ask, but Shepard nodded in approval. She set down her drink, looking into his eyes playfully, shielding her fear.
"Take a wild guess, Garrus."
"Could it be, perhaps, the celebrity before me?"
She bashfully swayed a hand, chuckling once more. "This celebrity has a good eye for looks, and I must say I am absolutely mesmerized by the turian before me. I remember how he looked before an accident he had, the most gloriously sharp plates, magnificent colony markings. But I must admit..."
She lifted her drink, raising it up in a sort of toast to him, her eyes alluring, the line between joke and truth blurring.
"...the scars he bears now upon his face as absolutely beautiful and do nothing to tarnish his glorious appeal. If anything... it makes him more appealing, more powerful."
If turians could blush, he would have right then, astonished and confused. He couldn't tell if she was joking or not, and he couldn't stop his subvocals from revealing his surprise, and his underlying emotions for his commander. He thanked the Spirits that she couldn't completely comprehend his subvocals. He raised his glass once more, pushing his fluster back, trying to bring back the suave persona he tried to bring out.
"Commander Shepard. Savior of the Citadel, a master at compliments... you flatter me, almost too much."
"Well you deserve the admiration, Garrus."
They settled back into a comfortable position, casually talking and joking, digging into their meals as they arrived, questioning each other's meals. Shepard sampled some of his despite the scared gasps from around them, looking over her shoulder as she swallowed audibly and watched everyone's faces turn from horrified to amazed at the sight of a human eating dextro food without dying. Segwaying from that public fiasco, Shepard and Garrus wrapped up their meal and left with some fanfare, but it was luckily swayed away by some C-Sec. Returning to the ship, she leaned into Garrus for a moment, smiling happily.
"Such a good meal. Thanks to taking me here."
"Of course, Shepard. Honestly, it was nice to have something other then the crap Gardner serves."
"Don't worry. Tomorrow I'm doing some shopping before we leave, so I'll pick up some things so you aren't eating the crap he makes with what Cerberus gave him."
"That's honestly the best news I've heard, behind of course what you said earlier."
Shepard hid her blush well this time, nudging him with an elbow. Her silver eyes looked up at his blue, glittering like metal and shimmering with happiness.
"What? That I think you look good?"
"It's a good ego boost to know that you don't find me disgusting."
"Garrus, I've said it before on the original Normandy and I will say it again here. I honestly really do like the way you look. Turians just have a lot of appeal to me. You, however... you get first place."
Garrus nudged her this time as they boarded the Normandy, drawing some eyes as they walked in together. He chuckled as they passed Kelly, who gave them an odd look.
"I feel even more honored, Shepard. You flatter me so much."
Shepard laughed harshly as the elevator closed. "Shut your scarred mouth, Garrus, before I find some way to rip that pride out of you, you dinosaur."
"You fueled it, Shepard. Nothing we can do now."
"Heh... right you are, Garrus."
The last day of their leave on the Citadel was a bit of a wild one, seeing as after shopping and amusement, the crew had gathered down to watch the Commander practice her biotics. While she was known as an amazing fighter with guns and her fists, her biotics had always been buried under her accomplishments. She had been toted as the most powerful biotic human in her youth, and she rarely got a real chance to show them, even though in battle they were one of her best assets. The crew piled up on boxes, on whatever they could sit on, and watched in awe.
During the years, she had developed her own tricks and gaudy moves she could attempt with her biotics. Developing her skills easily, being able to do several things at once, focusing on multiple targets with ease.
Garrus stood guard as her spotter as she lifted boxes as a singularity developed before her, growing in size until she let it burn before it, taking her boxes into its clutches until it exploded, sending the empty splintered remains across the holding bay, sending a few people in the stands down into cover. She chuckled once it calmed, her body shimmering in brilliant biotic blue. She turned to Garrus, her smile infectious.
"Shall we go for the Firebird?"
"The Firebird?" he questioned, his memory rusty even on that one.
"You know, the one I jokingly called the Archangel back on the old Normandy. The thing I did on a drunken bet against Kaiden to prove to him I was a 'real' biotic, and ended up slamming him into the back of the cargo bay?"
"Do you... really want to do that one again? You sent Kaiden flying, yes, but you also sent the Mako flying right into Ash and Wrex, and nearly broke both of her legs."
"There's no Mako this time."
He shook his head, but gave her a seal of approval on the idea of doing her best maneuver, her strongest ability. She gave him a wide, gleaming grin, a playful flash of teeth, before stepping up once more.
She looked around for a moment as her crowd brooded, waiting for her to start again. She moved a few boxes before her, stepping back a ways. She took a deep breath.
"Alright, after this last practice, back to work people, alright?" she called out, earning calls of approval. She steadied her feet, "Also a warning... you may want to find cover."
She was going to try after a long absence. He nodded and moved behind her, touching her shoulder as he passed. He would be all she had for safety on this one. Everyone's eyes were glued to her and Garrus.
"You're clear, Shepard. Send up the Firebird." Garrus called out, drawing confused murmurs and questions. Shepard laughed, amazed that he remembered that from the few times they had tried this maneuver. She could see Joker in the back, giggling to himself.
She steadied herself, finding herself fidgeting. Two deep breaths, a silent countdown as biotic energy crackled around her. She could hear the silent squeaks of chair moving, people leaning closer to watch her. A third inhale, her biotics sucked in close to her, as if her own power was awaiting its exhale. Her eyes opened, lazing in brilliantly bright blue to a shocked crowd. A wild blast of biotics blasted from her feet, throwing the boxes she had set before her flying several feet, a raging widlfire encircling her in random directions, in random paths. She blinked, and another wave flowed through it, throwing around stray papers and pieces of wood, a blinding lightshow of pure biotics. It bared resemblance to the hottest point in a blazing fire, wrapping around her like rippling waves of water. She glowed in her powerful biotics, slowly kneeling down as she readied her wings, readied her body for the flight it was about to take. Her crew leaned in even closer, straining to see through the wild show.
She leaped into the air, much like an Asari would push themselves forward with a boost of their biotics, but she did not fall, nor did she simply move forward. She shot straight up, and hovered like the swiftest hummingbird. She swayed from side to side gently, balancing herself in the air as if she were a bird in flight, pausing as if time had been stopped. The audience gasped in fear, and in absolute astonishment at the display, unable to believe their eyes as their commander showed the air that it was her domain.
Garrus took a step back, his eyes focused on her, the little movements of her back and shoulders. He was preparing, and everyone knew it, but preparing for what remained an unanswered question, save for Joker. Blazing eyes of the biotic firebird looked upon her pointing, gasping crew, a smile upon her lips. Graceful legs began to lift as her arms moved in a large arch arch, the phantom image of feathers and wings following after her pointed index fingers. Her hawk like smile grew, letting the anticipation grow to near explosive heights.
She flung her arms high above her head, one leg shooting to be outstretched, much like a swooping bird of prey would on its descent, her magic trick appearing before their eyes. Stretching around above her head were wings of blue fire, of the raw, passionate power she held within her body, her biotic's true form. Wings of strength and freedom, they spread themselves to show the glory that was Shepard's Firebird. Her hair wildly flew around her face, a wild woman in her animal form.
With a wild cry, her arms came down in a cutting motion, crossing as her wings followed them, launching out from her body like a Shockwave, hitting the floor of the cargo bay like a Slam combined with a Singularity, blasting into the metal floor, sending boxes flying, including some crew members improperly connected to whatever they held onto for shelter. Shepard went flying back from the blast, spinning in the air blind. Garrus moved to meet her as she fell, crouching as she fell into his arms, safely in his grasp as she landed with a gaps of air, her hair skirting the floor before the turian could stand proper. She groaned gently as she came to once her biotics had calmed down, her heavenly blue glow dying away as her grey eyes surveyed Garrus' face, a smile back on her lips as she was set on her feet, raising a fist, chuckling as his met hers in a fist bump.
A successful deployment of the Firebird.
The crew, now settled after the wild blast, went wild like a crowd at a human concert, hooting and hollering at the brilliant display of power, control, beauty, poise, and deadly precision. She waved much of the fanfare off like it was nothing, as if what she had just performed was a common act done by any common biotic, though she did concede that it was something that took her a while to perfect. Although it was, at first, a act of stupidity and pride, it has become a tool, a weapon, and a reminder to her. She gave Joker, the smug bastard still sitting proudly on his box in the back, a sharp look to curb his words; it didn't work in the slightest.
"Shepard, the Firebird! The Archangel! That girl who slammed a biotic into sheet metal and lodged him in there for nearly four hours! I will never let you live that one down."
"Joker. Kindly shut the fuck up." she jokingly replied with a shit-eating smirk, taping his knee.
"Oh yes, ma'am, Commander. I will kindly shut the fuck up once I say it again: THE FIREBIRRRD."
She rolled her eyes, hitting his knee and making him groan. She knew it would rattle him but not break his kneecap, giggling as he death glared her. She got him to be quiet.
"Firebird."
"Call me that in public, and I will break your kneecaps, Joker."
He smiled widely regardless of the threat. "I will remember that just like you told me all the times before, Firebird Shepard."
Returning to the silence and quiet beauty of space, they left with some haste from the Citadel now that all their current jobs on there were completed. They would come back from time to time of course, but for now, they were off to their next mission. She spent a little more time in the cargo bay, practicing her common biotics tricks by herself until she had to relax, eat something, and prepare for the mission on Alchera. She took her calorie heavy meal up to her cabin, locked the door, poured a glass of wine, and took the silence into her.
Seeing the remains of her ship, her original Normandy, and face the ghosts of the past she had to leave behind, the two years she spent in limbo as people moved on, mourned, changed, and rebelled. She couldn't imagine what she would find, what would remain after two years on an ice planet, but who knows. If her body could survive, what else could? Her meal was quickly consumed, her glass emptied, and her mind at least a little more clear. She set back toward the mess, thanking Gardner for another good meal, and took the offered cup of Grade A turian hot chocolate. He did offer another cup, obviously seeing where she was going, and took the cup and headed for the Main Battery, the door sliding open with ease.
"Hey, Garrus... time to shut down the calibrations for now."
Garrus sighed as he continued typing, Shepard coming up beside him as he finished a long line of codes and calibrations before shutting down his terminal, turning to her as she handed off the cup of steaming liquid.
"Thanks. You know, it doesn't feel like it's time to rest."
"Agreed, but apparently it is. We should be at Alchera by the morning." she took a sip of her drink, settling into her spot beside him, leaning on the console.
They stood there in silence, drinking their hot chocolates in peace. Shepard was tense, obviously dreading and fearing the coming mission. It was something she wasn't entirely ready to bear, the cold truth of where her grave had been. She leaned into him, quietly and gently, sighing a heavy breath as she set her cup down. Garrus' arm silently wrapped around her, his hand on her hip a grateful warmth.
"I'll be waiting with the monument. There's also Joker if you need any support tomorrow."
"...I know I will. Can you tell him? I... need to get some sleep before this all goes down."
"I'll make sure he knows to prepare. Do you.. want me to help you to the elevator?"
She shook her head, her hand tightening on his fatigues. He collected up her cup as she moved further into the Battery, spotting his cot nestled among the machinery. He knew then she didn't plan to return to her cabin, and set out to return their cups before returning to the sight of Shepard zipping out of the Main Battery.
"I'll be back. Grabbing a blanket."
He was quick, grabbing one of her wrists before she moved any further. She stutter stepped but looked back at him with exhausted eyes.
"I have a few tucked away in there, surprisingly. It can get chilly back there, even though its a gun."
She nodded numbly, moving back with him into his little nook. She slipped off her shoes, but otherwise stayed clothed as he mirrored her, climbing into his cot, adjusting himself on the wide padding. Shepard stood awkwardly for a moment, waiting for him to find a comfortable spot. She had done this before, hiding away in one of the darker corners for comfort. As he settled, he met her eyes, and through his gaze gave her permission, his human commander barely hesitating before joining him on the now crowded cot, curling and cuddling into his shoulder like a child. It was his turn now to let her settle, watching her Commander persona crumble into the pain and terror and fear she hid underneath that powerful mask, something he had seen two other times. After Virmire was the worst, losing her cool in the Cargo Bay before collapsing into tears, only comforted by him as she had let it out all late into the ship's nighttime. She ended up crying herself to sleep in his arms before he took her to her cabin. The other time was after the Battle of the Citadel, after the dust had mostly settled.
"It'll be okay, Shepard." he promised, pushing back a swath of her hair from her face. She took a shaky breath, blinking back tears in a futile attempt to keep some sort of strong mask on.
"Is it really, Garrus?"
He was silent for a moment before gently touching her face, brushing away a few of her tears before pulling their blanket up over them, nodding gently.
"It will be, Katherine. You can do this. Let's give our late crew members one last goodbye."
She let a sob slip through her lips, nodding gently. She took hold of the hand on her face. It may not be done, the mission, her job, but this break was a just enough time to let her tears flow, to let her pain come alive. There were only four people in the entire universe to see her in such a state, in a state of woe and heartbreak. Two were alive, two were dead. Two she had to bury and mourn as she flew off in an Alliance shuttle off her burning colony, the only parents she ever had. The other two were back in her life after two years of death. One was piloting her beautiful ship.
The other was witnessing her breakdown once again.
"Okay." her voice was meek, choked in her tears, but it was enough. He brought her close, letting the ship around them fade. Letting their ranks fade for the night.
It was not Shepard and Vakarian; simply Garrus and Katherine.
"Get some sleep, Kat. I'm right here whenever you need me."
He would make sure she made it to sleep without issue, that she was guarded from the responsibilities tied to her now. This was her moment to unwind completely and let herself spill every weight on her shoulders. She nodded gently before letting her eyes flutter close, her hands clinging to her shirt as she sought the ever tricky escape of sleep. Sleep called for him as well, and he had to heed its call, letting his eyes rest, comforting his best friend into the dead of their night.
Shepard could feel the change in her bed as she slowly came out of her sleep, that she had been moved last night. If she knew Garrus, she had been returned to her cabin. She slowly opened her eyes, met with the sight of her ruffled sheets. Groaning softly, knowing what the day brought, she slowly drew herself into a sitting position, pushing back her hair over her shoulder, looking around and catching her eyes on everything. Her empty fish tank, her blinking terminal, Garrus on her couch, her scattered datapads-
Garrus.
Had he fallen asleep in here after returning her? Oddly enough, she smiled at the sight of him sleeping on her couch, a thin blanket draped over his sleeping form. She shimmied herself off her bed, flexing her stiff joints before tiptoeing over to him, tracing a line on his visible mandibles. As she drew to an end to her curious explorations, she was met with shining blue eyes. He groaned lightly as he sat up.
"Good morning, sleepy." she told him, looking sleepy herself. He looked at her almost worryingly, but seeing her smile seemed to calm him.
"Good morning. Feeling better?"
She nodded, her smile warming up. "Better. Thanks for... letting me sleep with you, and everything again. For taking care of me when I fell."
"It was nothing, Katherine."
"It is everything. No one can simply boast they truly know how Command Shepard feels. Now... we have to get ready. Big day today. I'm going to shower, get dressed, while you do the same and get us some coffee in the mess, okay?"
He nodded in approval, standing and stretching his knotted muscles, mandibles fluttering as she gave a lingering look, pausing the doorway of her bathroom.
"It's weird, to hear my first name again... but it helps a lot, Garrus. Keeps me grounded. Don't get used to using it too much outside of private doors, okay?"
"Of course. We don't want people assuming things." he gave another turian smile before leaving with a wave. She stood there in the doorway until her door sealed shut, giving a sad looking toward its direction.
His statement, wanting no assumptions on their relationship... did he mean to avoid the obvious questions people would pose? If they were in a romantic relationship, going 'steady' with each other? She could understand it, and would accept it as she still was his Commander. Appearances had to be kept, they had to be professional, but she found herself questioning the rules.
"I... honestly wouldn't mind it." she found herself admitting before slipping into her bathroom to do as she planned, making sure her shower was as hot as it could without scalding her skin off, to take her mind off of the burn from his statement.
She pushed it back into her mind, forgetting about it near immediately, pushing it back now rationally thinking. She understood his statement, walking into the mess as she pinned up her hair, happily accepting the cup of coffee handed to her by Garrus. The crew had gathered, some for breakfast, and some with the solemn expression expected of them as they approached Alchera. She spied Miranda in the far back of gathered crew, trying to avoid her eyes. Jacob was silent in his seat, keeping to himself unlike other mornings. She knew what had to be done.
"I'm assuming from how many there are of you here that you know where we are this morning."
She expected no answer, and she was appreciative of the silence. She turned to her crew, coffee still in hand.
"For those who are unfamiliar with this planet, this is Alchera. The original Normandy was destroyed by the Collectors in the orbit of this planet, and the crash site lies on its surface. The Alliance reached out to me saying they found the crash site and has asked of us to collect dog tails they believe are still at the site, as well as place a monument there."
She let the silence grow as she drank more of her coffee, her fingers tapping along the ceramic cup. Another breath, a calming look from Garrus, a gentle smile from Jacob.
"I'll be going down to search for the dog tails, and I'll have a few people help with the monument so we can get it in place properly. Otherwise... we don't have really anything on our agenda. We may get in another dossier but otherwise, this is the sole mission today."
She finished off her cup with a flourish, slamming it back like a shot and returning it to Gardner before smiling. The crew had their tense bubble popped, all returning her gracious smile with one of their own.
"Let's get to work. It may be a rough day, but we can get through it."
The rest of the morning went smooth, crew finishing up their morning rations and getting to their stations with a little pep in their step. The cold reminder of Alchera still lingered of course, but they seemed to respect Shepard's need for a normal day, a normal routine. They respected her silent wishes, and simply gave her the silent reminder that they were here for her. Joker brought them in close as she finished suiting up in the cargo bay, stepping into the shuttle by herself, looking back at Garrus. She smiled even though it was hidden by the visor of her helmet, reminding herself she had support, and set off for the crash site of the Normandy SR-1.
Alchera was silent as she touched down into the snowy crash site, her eyes catching the visible parts sticking out of the ground. The name of of her ship plastered against torn apart plating. The Mako sitting virtually untouched in a snow mound, and various sections of her ship thrown around in the semi circular remains of a great legend. The sparkle of dog tags in the snow were everywhere. A memory flashed before her eyes, the day she was given command of this vessel. A joint work of turians and humans, a torch to mark the two's relationship despite the pain and scars of the First Contact War lingering. Anderson was the one to pass her the torch as Commander, the one to announce her command of this vessel so warmly called 'Normandy'.
Opening her eyes, letting out a breath, she was back on Alchera, watching her destroyed ship sink under the winds of the snow. She took a breath, and braved forward toward her past.
Collecting the dog tags scattered around the area was easy save for four which were oddly packed under broken boxes. As she picked up the last one, keeping calm as the twenty tags clinked against one another. Pausing at the wreckage she stood inside, she closed her eyes again, reliving the past once more, the flash of Kaiden behind her eyes. She took a breath, refusing to go down that route, opening them again. She stepped back, smiling painfully and turning her back on it once more.
She walked back to the detached section of the cockpit, walking through the torn away chairs, and Joker's abandoned chair. Running her hands over the frozen cracked leather, she couldn't help but look back to that last day, when the Collectors had cornered them. The day she chose Joker's life over her own.
"Garrus..."
Her radio crackled gently before an answer came to her, but she didn't mind. She quietly brought herself out into the snow once more, sitting herself in the snow.
"Want us to bring the monument down now, Shepard?"
"If you could... and bring Joker with you."
She watched the shuttle lift from the ground, throwing snow around before lifting off toward the orbiting ship. Shepard sighed softly, curling up into herself there in the snow before the last place she remembered being in before her death, the tomb meant for Joker that was given graciously to her by their attackers. The burning through her limbs as she was shot out into space violently, the rush of panic as her oxygen line had been cut, spinning into the dead silence of space with nothing but decaying memories on her mind before the universe disappeared into flames around her. Haunted by the ghosts of the pasts, the memories that lingered in each and every spot she could get to, Shepard let them surround her, choke her of her air, reminding her that they would follow her forever.
She had failed them like she had failed Mindoir, her team on Akuze... and now the Normandy's fall was on her shoulders.
She looked up as the shuttle came back, seeing the sheen of the monument as the doors opened, Garrus coming out immediately, followed slowly by Joker. She smiled a little at how funny he looked, but she was glad he was here. She stood once more, walking over to them, happy that her helmet hid most of her face. They walked her come over, immediately meeting Joker's hug, taking a shaky breath before doing the same with Garrus. She looked to the monument, taking a breath before letting her biotics light up, moving it slowly to the place she had been sitting, right before the cockpit. She set it down slowly, the others joining her before it. Silence reigned as memories passed through them, unable to stop the pain of the loss that surrounded them.
"If you want to look, the cockpit is just inside there." she found herself say, helping Joker along into the empty and broken space, Garrus close behind. She let her precious pilot go as he came to his old chair, running his hands over it.
"Right here. It was right here, when you were spaced. I broke parts of my arm, and bruised a rib getting into the escape pod." Joker recounted bitterly, "And we could do nothing except watch you spin in space, trying to breathe."
Shepard came up beside him, gently hugging him again. "I remember seeing your pod. I'm just glad I didn't lose you there."
Garrus came up slowly behind her, a hand on her shoulder again. She broke apart, sobbing inside her helmet, holding onto her two pillars, the only remaining family she truly had at the moment, mourning for her crew, her ship, and her old life.
There they stood, in the skeletal remains of the cockpit of the Normandy SR-1, until she could control her emotions, control her tears. They gave one last salute to the old girl, one last goodbye to the dead and the lost, and returned to the new Normandy.
"Thanks Shepard, for letting me out here." Joker finally said as they approached the Normandy. Shepard took one of his hands into hers, taking off her helmet with the other.
"I figured you would want to say goodbye too."
Garrus took the other hand without question, her smile turned to him next.
"Thank you for coming back, Shepard."
"No... thank you for coming back, Garrus. I didn't want to lose anymore people."