Rex stirred, feeling the nightmare dissolve from his mind as they always inevitably did. Despite the fact that his heart was still pounding, his eyes remained shut, exhaustion dominating the fading panic. He had no idea what time it was, and he didn't have the energy to check the chrono he always left by the bed, but he guessed it was some time in the early morning. He rolled over, thoughts drifting back out of focus, but the sensation of emptiness brought his awareness back. Ahsoka. The bed beside him was empty. Forcing strength into his body, Rex pulled himself up, and glanced around the room. She was gone, but it didn't surprise him much. She'd been restless ever since... he yawned and confirmed his suspicions with a quick glance at his chrono. It was just before dawn. Kicking the covers off, he rolled to the edge of the bed and got up, wrapping himself in the extra blanket at the foot of the bed. Ahsoka needed to be alone a lot these days- the least he could do was check on her.

He found her outside, cross legged on the low wall that separated their little home from the plains, watching the moons set over a whispering grass sea. He left here there a moment, stopping by the kitchen to wait for the caf to brew, wishing he could find some of that stillness himself. He'd been finding it hard to keep still after they'd gotten the news, and his thoughts were fractured with impulses and thoughts that weren't his own. The impulses, the thoughts, the nightmares, the Jedi... the anger that trickled down his spine startled him, and he took a sip of caf to steady his hands. I'm a soldier. I should have more discipline than this. At least, I was... Burying the thought for the time, he picked up the second cup and headed outside. Ahsoka needs me, that's all that matters right now.

She was beautiful in the dawn glow. Rex knew the radiance was a trick of the Dantooine light, but he still admired the way her silhouette seemed to carve a place for itself amidst the emptiness of her surroundings. Despite the weight he knew she was carrying on her slender shoulders, she'd always had an admirable sort of presence. He approached her quietly and settled in beside her, slipping the cup of caf into her hands. She grasped it gratefully and turned her eyes up towards him, as if just noticing his presence.

"Rex... thank you. Couldn't sleep either, huh?"

Rex gave her a half smile and brushed the tip of her lekku gently

"Not without you, I can't. And especially not now that I know you dug this old thing up from somewhere," he added, tugging playfully at the jacket she was wrapped in. It was one of his, an old black standard issue design with the Grand Army of the Republic's insignia emblazoned across the shoulders. "I thought we got rid of all that old stuff a long time ago."

Ahsoka smiled, a distant look in her eyes as she took a long sip of the bitter caf.

"Sorry, Rexy. I know you're worried about being seen in it. I just couldn't let go of this one. There were too many memories in it. Things were... simpler..."

Rex has his doubts about that, but he kept them to himself, smiling to her gently and hoping that it came off encouraging.

"Ahsoka, I was kidding, of course you can keep the thing. Look around, I don't think we have to worry about anyone seeing it here!"

She sighed and seemed to shrink a little, and sensing her vulnerability, Rex couldn't ignore it. He ran his hand down her spine, settling it at the arch in the small of her back, and pulled her carefully into his arms. She gave no resistance, and allowed her head to fall against his shoulder. He could feel the expanse between them even in their closeness, and the familiar tightness in his chest returned as helplessness engulfed him. He bowed his head over hers, knowing that her species felt more than heard, and whispered her name against the smooth white skin of her montrals.

"Ahsoka..."

Her response was minimal, but it was enough. He knew she had heard him, somewhere from within the darkness she was living in. It was enough.

"Ahsoka, when are you going to let me onto this battlefield? You can't fight alone forever... please... let me help you..."

She shifted her head, her blue eyes meeting his. For a moment, he saw a flicker of agony, a glimpse of the terror that she felt. Ahsoka. But as soon as it had come, it flickered out. Ahsoka was gone. Commander Tano was stronger.

"There's nothing to talk about that you don't already know, Rexy."

She rose, the rustle of the loose tunic she wore imperceptible in the hush of the morning.

"Come on. Let's get back inside."

Subsistence, as it turned out, was a full-time pursuit. Rex yawned, slamming the lid of a small grain store shut and sliding back down to the floor of the agricultural unit. They didn't supply all of their own food, but as far as settlements on Dantooine were concerned, their operation was fairly self sufficient for two people. The little farm they'd invested in was a speeder's journey from Khoonda, one of Dantooine's main administrative centers, and they got shipments of grain, caf beans, and just about anything else they couldn't grow in the ground on a fairly regular basis. Rex threw a quick glance around the Ag unit one last time as he shut things down for the night to make sure nothing was out of place. The little routine was comforting somehow, despite the fact that it was something one of the droids could have easily done. Running maintenance himself gave Rex a small sliver of control over his life - something he was having difficulty finding elsewhere since the Orders came through. The thought sent a little shiver running down his spine as it always did, and he let the sensation run its course in his moment of privacy as he locked down for the night. Stepping out into the evening air was a relief somehow. He watched the twin moons rise as he waited for the generators to finish cycling down, indulging the doubt in the back of his mind.

Was it worth it? For this?

It was a warm evening, but he still felt cold. The Orders had come about a Galactic Standard Month ago, but it still felt surreal to him. His mind strayed back across the stars to his brothers - the one's he'd deserted - and he wondered if the only family he'd known had been worth trading for a bit of Outer Rim dirt. He wondered how they'd handled their darkest battle, and which of them had survived. Of all of the wars he'd expected to fight, Rex had never believed that they'd be betrayed by the Jedi. He and his brothers had died for them and the Republic they served!

Rex stopped himself, realizing he'd been pacing, and took a deep breath. There they were again. The intensity of the emotions he felt every time he thought about... them... made him incredibly uncomfortable. Steadying himself through the impulse, he wished the thought of what had happened didn't make him feel so desperately alone. He was a clone. He'd always had brothers at his back, men he could trust and talk to. Out here on Dantooine it was just him and Ahsoka.

That makes two of us the Jedi betrayed.

Folding his arms across his body for warmth, he started picking his way back across the fields towards the house. He wished he could talk to Ahsoka about this, but she was obviously in pain. She had been for some time. Her connection with her master and with General Kenobi had been strong, and while Rex didn't really understand what a Force bond felt like, he understood the way she cried in her sleep well enough. He hated that she was suffering, the way the Force was a knife in her wound, but it was the silence that scared him the most. It wasn't like Ahsoka to be silent and distant. It wasn't like her to be distracted. Rex knew she needed him, but he also knew he was struggling to think of ways to help her. He wanted to tell her how the Jedi betrayed them both, how she should hate them for what they did... but that didn't sit right with him either. Not too long ago, Ahsoka was a... like them. But he knew her. She loved him, and she loved his brothers. Could the people closest to her have been so different?

Reaching the house brought him back into the present, but as he stepped through the gate, he realized that the lights in the interior were dim. Ahsoka wasn't home yet. Rex sighed. It wasn't exactly surprising - she'd been spending a lot of time out on her own lately, and he knew the space was important to her. While he didn't object to the privacy, it was starting to get pretty dark even with the glow of the moons, and he hadn't managed to get that kinrath nest cleaned out yet. Normally a few pests wouldn't phase Ahsoka, but the way she'd been lately, he decided to find her and bring her in anyway. Slipping through the door, Rex picked up one of his blasters, tucked it into the back of his pants, and headed out towards the place he knew he'd find her.

It wasn't a long walk from the house to the ruins, and Rex kept a brisk pace as he made his way through the grass. Ahsoka had been spending a lot of time there in between their routines around the farm, which concerned Rex. Ahsoka was more than capable of looking after herself, but the terrain in that area was probably pretty unstable, and he didn't particularly like the idea of digging her out of there if something crumbled under her. Making his way to the peak of a small hill, the jagged wreckage came into view, an eerie silver that looked like carbon-scored durasteel. Despite himself, he felt his muscles tensing as he remembered a conversation he'd overheard on a supply run in Khoonda - a couple of settlers were saying the place used to be a Jedi Enclave. That was thousands of years ago, but the idea still unsettled him. Slowly drawing the blaster, he started his descent down towards the ruins, keeping his eyes ahead for signs of Ahsoka. It was getting darker now, and he wished he'd had the foresight to bring a glowrod as the rocky ruins loomed over him.

"Ahsoka?"

His voice echoed and died, and met no response. Frowning, he swung one leg over a long, smooth stone that looked like it might have been something a few thousand years ago, and climbed into the wreckage, listening to the sounds of the night carefully. The rock structures around him exaggerated the sounds of his footsteps, making it hard for him to pick out ambient noises as he moved across the rocks. Pulling himself up onto a small plateau, he looked out over the expanse and caught sight of a familiar silhouette in a round clearing just downhill from him. She was crouching low to the ground, facing away from him, but he could tell she was tense from the way her shoulders squared up. Frowning, he picked his way down the path that led to her clearing, shifting his grip on the blaster in his hand. Something wasn't right, she looked like she was fighting something...

"Ahsoka!"

She didn't respond. Rex lengthened his stride and reached the edge of the clearing. She was alone, standing in the middle of the circle, her hands stretched out in front of her like he'd seen her do so many times in battle. She looked like she was bracing against something, but the only thing Rex could see in front of her was a pile of loose rocks. Inching closer, he could see that she was trembling, her entire being focused and tense. But nothing was happening. And suddenly, stretched too far, she collapsed. Rex watched in shock as her body went limp, and she fell to her knees, a shuddering sob welling up inside her and shattering her focused exterior. Without thinking, he lunged forward into the clearing and to her side.

"Ahsoka, are you all right? What happened?"

Her reaction to his presence was unexpected. At the sound of his voice, Ahsoka snapped her head towards him and lifted a hand to her face, eyes wide with panic.

"'Soka, it's me! It's Rex!" She lowered her hand and stared up at him a moment, relief relaxing the tension he'd seen her building up. He knelt beside her cautiously. "What's wrong?"

She looked up at him, her eyes meeting his, and for a moment, he could feel the barrier of Commander Tano sealing Ahsoka away. Just for a moment. As soon as the barrier had gone up, it cracked. Her eyes sparkled, and tears streamed down her cheeks, staining them deep brown.

"Rexy... I... I didn't know you were here..."

"It's okay, Ahsoka, I just -"

"No, Rex... I didn't feel you were here...I didn't..."

The end of her sentence was lost, a strangled sob replacing it. Rex pulled her into his arms, wrapping himself protectively around her, and as he did so, his eyes fell onto the pile of rocks in front of her, realization hitting him in the chest with the force of a blaster bolt. Ahsoka was shaking silently, her face pressed against his neck and chest. The stance she'd been in, the way she'd been bracing up against the air, the tension and concentration...

"Rex, I tried... I don't know... what's happening to me... it's gone. It's so quiet, Rex... everything is so quiet... I couldn't do it..."

Rex held her tighter and pressed his lips to her montrals, lowering his voice to a resonant mutter that he hoped would calm her.

"Ahsoka, listen to me. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'll... we'll think of something..."

She shuddered and coiled up into a tight ball, and Rex knew he was just as lost as she was. He was a clone, what the hell did he know about things like this? This wasn't in his training, and it wasn't something he'd had experience with before. He knew enough to know that his fury was irrational, but that wasn't helping things. He couldn't be angry with the Jedi for this, no matter how much he wanted to blame them. He didn't even know this kind of thing could happen! He stroked her lekku gently, feeling her trembling soften almost imperceptibly. She'd been immersed in this Jedi stuff her entire conscious life, he realized. Whatever his misgivings about the Jedi might be, they were all she had. Just like his brothers were to him. She had been a Jedi in more than just social affiliation - it was a part of her being. As the anger died away, he suddenly remembered Fives. He'd lost more brothers than he could count in the war, but Fives' last words suddenly echoed through his head.

"Rex...This...it's...bigger than any of us...than anything...I could've imagined..."

Ahsoka shifted in his arms, and Rex scooped her up carefully, turning back and away from the ruins. He wanted to hate the Jedi for this, but this time, it wasn't their fault. He remembered Ahsoka fighting with General Skywalker and General Kenobi, the way they'd stuck their necks out for him and his brothers time and time again, and rage and certainty dissipated. Bigger than any of us. Rex sighed. He still didn't entirely understand, but he was beginning to think maybe Fives had. Wishing he could talk to Fives again, he knew Ahsoka must be feeling the same way about her old master. Guilt trickled down into his core. He'd been so focused on his own sense of betrayal that he hadn't stopped to consider that the situation was far more complicated than what he chose to acknowledge. Weaving his way out of the rubble and back onto the trail homeward, he resigned to leave those questions unanswered for the moment. The only thing that mattered to Rex right now was Ahsoka. He'd lost his brothers, but at least he still knew who he was. Ahsoka had lost more than just her friends. She'd lost a seed nurtured from birth that gave her life. Truthfully, Rex realized with a sickening tightness settling across his chest, he had no idea what to expect from a Jedi who'd lost the Force.