Chapter Three: Experimenting
"You've been awfully quiet tonight, Clara." Nathaniel commented.
"Have I? I hadn't really noticed. I was just… Deep in thought, I suppose." Clara replied.
"I see." Nathaniel paused. She wasn't making it easy for conversation tonight. "You didn't return on Friday night, or Saturday either. Where were you?"
"I was in another dream. I feel like, after a while, this dream could truly suffocate me. It's always the same. Varying my scenery is never a bad thing." Clara stated.
"Yes…" Nathaniel grew curious, wondering if she had seen another man that night, but decided that he was not close enough to her to be in a position to ask questions like that. Not yet. "Have I done something wrong? Is something the matter?"
"No, you're as pleasant and charming as always." Clara said, not really paying any attention to the conversation. She studied a nearby plant, the leaves perfectly formed with just a drop of dew on the tips.
"So, I was wondering…" Nathaniel trailed off, unsure how to phrase his question.
Clara paused to look up at the boy across the rift, her eyes wandering over his face, brow furrowed and mouth slightly agape as if he were searching for the words. "Yes?" she urged.
"The second day that we met here, you conjured a cloak to cover yourself. I was just wondering if you could still conjure things from thin air, or maybe even if you could… Manipulate your surroundings?" Nathaniel asked, hope evident in his voice, an unasked question lingering in the air.
"Well, I suppose I could try. This is my dream after all." Clara stood up and Nathaniel mirrored her actions, watching her intently. Clara squirmed a little under his scrutinising gaze. "You know, I don't think it'll work if you're looking at me like that."
"On the contrary, I believe you have to be in a heightened state of emotion, at least at this early stage. Maybe later you'll learn to control these powers without the need for such crutches. Let's call this my hypothesis." Nathaniel said, casually leaning against a nearby tree.
"But all you're doing is making me feel self conscious. What could I conjure? Fog?" Clara joked, and in an instant, the rift was filled with such a thick fog that Nathaniel was obscured from Clara's vision.
Nathaniel's voice drifted through the fog, "Well, I suppose that's a start. Although I do miss seeing your pretty face."
Immediately the fog cleared, revealing a shy looking Clara with rose-tinged cheeks. "What did you mean by powers? I just thought that because this is my dream, I'll be able to control the things that are in it." Clara asked after a moment of composure.
"Why don't you try then? Something small, like growing apples on that tree over there?" Nathaniel gestured to a nearby tree and Clara turned to it, willing it with everything she had to grow apples, but she couldn't do it.
"You need to put more emotion into it. Like if you were really hungry, you'd be able to grow the apples. You only really conjure things that you truly desire. Although I do wish it wasn't because you felt self-conscious around me." Nathaniel added.
Clara sank back to her knees. "We should keep doing this. I like experimenting with these powers. Maybe eventually I'll be able to get the Sun to come out. I mean, as much as I love stargazing, a tan wouldn't hurt." Clara giggled.
"Maybe one day you'll be able to close this gap between us." Nathaniel muttered, just loud enough for Clara to catch. The two sat in silence, Clara's thoughts turning to Jack, wondering if the connection between the two of them was stronger than the one between her and Nathaniel, a boy she had only known for a week. In her dreams, she was only separated from Nathaniel, but maybe that's only because she didn't know him well enough yet. The dreams she had about Jack were always more comforting, where the two of them could be as close or as far from each other as they wanted.
Nathaniel sensed her hesitation and understood that he had to get to know her first. It was so easy to fall in love with her. She was smart and funny and her beauty was breathtaking. He could get lost in her eyes for days, and her laugh could be a melody on repeat all year long. She was so easy to talk to, so easy to put his trust in completely, and so nonjudgmental. He sighed, realising that he was not good enough for her, that he would have to work to get her to love him the way he loved her.
"I really wish I had a watch. It would be much easier to wake up and be on time for class that way." Clara said suddenly. She turned to her wrist and closed her eyes, hoping desperately that the watch would appear when she opened them. She breathed out and felt a small weight on her arm. Clara opened her eyes slowly and to her amazement saw a delicate silver watch adorning her wrist. Clara let out a squeal of delight and smiled across at Nathaniel, missing the moment where his heart skipped a beat to see her look so happy.
"I knew you could do it. You just have to start small and really want it." Nathaniel smiled back. "What time do you have to leave me tonight?"
"Now actually, I'm going to be late. Again." Clara said, a frantic look on her face, and with that, she disappeared.
It was lucky that Clara and Anita had planned out all of the outfits for this week ahead of time. Maybe Anita had already suspected the lateness of her subject in this experiment. Monday's outfit was a low, tight, deep blue tank top and a cream skirt which was long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep people wondering. Clara pulled her hair into two plaits which hung almost to her elbows, and applied a thin layer of makeup, hoping for a natural look. She grabbed her bag, slipped into a comfy pair of flats, and raced out the door to shouts of "you're late again!" from her mother and "be quiet, I'm trying to sleep!" from her father.
It was almost as if Anita had planned everyone's reactions to their experiment. As soon as she stepped foot in her faculty, the close-knit community commented or stared at her, as if she had done sixty cartwheels in a row. She felt extremely self-conscious, but putting on a confident air, she walked with her back straight, pushing her chest out slightly. Clara was certainly turning heads, although not the head she wanted to turn the most. She felt a little put off by all the attention, as if everyone had suddenly become shallow, and it made her feel bad about her normal looks.
She was just starting to think about her usual attire when, "Hey Clara!" broke her thoughts.
Clara looked up at the familiar voice and smiled as she saw Jack waving her towards him. "Hey Jack, I didn't see you over there!"
"Maybe that's because you're being swarmed by all our classmates. I mean, honestly, it's like you grew a posse overnight." Jack looked darkly at the men ogling Clara then turned back to her, "You do look very nice today Clara. Although…"
"What is it?" Clara asked, worried he didn't like her new looks.
"I think you look good all the time. You don't need new outfits and makeup to make your beauty stand out." Jack said, his hand coming to rest on hers.
"Oh I… Well… Thank you." Clara stammered, avoiding his eyes but loving the warmth his hand was spreading over hers.
"Should we head to our lecture?" Jack asked, standing up and holding out a hand for Clara.
"Yes. Yes I suppose we should." Clara replied, feeling more confident now and taking Jack's offered hand to help her up. To Clara's surprise, Jack didn't let her hand go once she was standing. Instead, the pair walked to their class hand in hand which drew even more incredulous looks from their classmates.
The Monday morning lecture began as normal, Clara taking out a pen and notepad only to put it down after the first fifteen minutes, pulling her legs onto the chair and watching the front seemingly intently. Her head started to droop, nodding as she started leaning to her left, where an empty seat was. Jack noticed her falling asleep yet again, and instead of leaving her in her uncomfortable position, his arms wrapped around her shoulders and he pulled her towards him. Clara's head rested against Jack's shoulder as she drifted to sleep and his hand rested on her knee while he took thorough notes for the both of them. She was woken by a soft "Clara, wake up." And a gentle nudge to her shoulder. She rubbed her eyes tiredly, and stretched, allowing the fitted shirt to rise and reveal her naval. Jack's eyes wandered for a moment, before staring at the sleepy girl's face. Even when she scrunched it up while she yawned, she still looked beautiful.
"What are you looking at?" Clara asked, straightening her shirt, "I didn't mean to fall asleep again. I know I do this every week, but honestly, next time, you should definitely wake me up."
"But you look so peaceful when you sleep." Jack replied smiling.
The pair of them stood and walked to get lunch, chatting mindlessly, their hands drifting towards each other's, shocks running through them if their fingers brushed together. Eventually, Jack took Clara's hand in his, entwining his fingers with hers and smiling at her.
Clara didn't know what to make of this development. One minute Jack would barely touch her, the next he was holding her hand as if they were going out. Clara thought it peculiar that this only started happening today, but maybe his possessiveness was brought about by the leering men.
Later that day, Annabel caught Clara's attention, motioning for her to sit by her in their next lecture. Clara turned towards Jack, noticing that Annie had only saved one seat, and asked him if that was okay. Unsure, Jack looked at Annabel's seat and let go of Clara's hand, letting her know that he'd see her later and joining other friends.
"Okay so fill me in right this instant!" Annie whispered excitedly, barely giving Clara a chance to sit down.
"What do you mean?" Clara asked innocently. She knew exactly what Annabel meant, but she wanted to hear it from another person, to reaffirm that she had not been hallucinating the entire day.
"Oh, you know, just the fact that Jack hasn't let you leave his side for the entire day? Maybe that you guys have been holding hands for the past six hours?" Annie smirked.
"Oh, uh, that… Yeah I'm not actually sure what that is." Clara admitted.
"But, aren't you guys going out? I've seen this coming for months. Why is he holding your hand if you're not?" Annie asked, confused.
"See, this morning I walked in to uni and he kind of hasn't let my hand go since then. We haven't talked about it. I haven't mentioned it and neither has he. It's just been… Nice." Explained Clara.
"You two are a pair of really weird kids." Annabel remarked as the lecturer began waffling.
"And proud of it!" Clara chuckled.
Clara started taking notes, but her mind wandered to the feeling of Jack's hand in hers. She chanced a glance over at him, hoping to stare at him subtly from her spot in the lecture hall, but to her surprise, he was already staring at her. He caught her gaze, not breaking it, a small smile spreading across her face and his eyes lighting up slightly, until Clara looked away, embarrassed.
"The two of you need to have a talk." Annabel commented softly as the class wrapped up.
"Maybe another day. I don't really want to ruin this. Whatever this is." Clara responded.
Annie sighed, defeated, "I don't want you getting hurt. I don't want this to ruin your friendship."
"It can't ruin our friendship. He's my best friend, Annie. Nothing we do could harm this relationship." Clara stood and packed up her belongings. As she turned around, Jack was already standing at the end of her row, holding up a queue of people waiting to get out as he waited for her.
"Let's go home." Jack smiled.
"O-okay." Clara stammered. She still wasn't used to all this overt attention from Jack.
The two walked to the bus stop in comfortable silence. After tagging on, Jack stood, waiting for Clara to go inside before him. As he'd explained to her earlier in the year, he believed it was the "gentlemanly" thing to do – allow the girl to take the window seat – to which Clara had protested, however she gave up, knowing that she liked the window seat, and didn't mind the close proximity of their bodies when she was on the inside. Today, however, he sat closer than usual, his knees angled towards hers, almost touching. Every corner, they almost landed on top of each other, Jack's arms reaching out to the chair in front of them to brace himself, the muscles in his arms tensing every time he did. When they got off the bus, Jack took Clara's hand, and without an explanation, walked with her through the city to her train station.
"Well, I suppose I'll see you tomorrow?" Jack questioned, his gaze penetrating through to her soul.
"Of course!" Clara replied happily, darting her eyes to look anywhere but his.
Clara pulled away, but Jack's hand, still in hers, pulled her into him and she collapsed into a pair of two strong arms holding her. She wrapped her arms around him, breathing him in, being lost in a world of Jack. The looks from around them continued, increased as they didn't break apart, but they didn't mind this time. This time they were together. This time it was true.
"I'll see you tomorrow." Clara whispered into Jack's chest as the hug lingered.
Jack pulled back, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, "Tomorrow." He stated simply, and released her.
She felt cold almost immediately, but the warmth of his kiss, of his touch, spread through her body. So she smiled, turned and walked away, glancing back to see that he hadn't moved and was still watching her, so she waved. There was a new spring in her step, Clara felt alive, like she'd never been as invigorated as she was feeling right then.
When Clara arrived home, her family noticed nothing odd about her behaviour, not commenting on it. She sent a quick text message to Anita and prepared herself for as normal a routine as she could have after the bizarre day: shower, dinner, movies with the family.
Jack walked through the door with nonchalance, but the look of both worry and happiness was etched into his face. His younger sister, Emily, noticed it straight away and asked what was wrong.
"Nothing's wrong!" Jack exclaimed, "I think for once, everything is actually right!"
"Really?" Emily questioned, becoming more curious, "What exactly is right?"
"Oh, see, there's this girl I like…" Jack began, eliciting a tiny gasp from his sister.
"Did you ask her out!?" Emily babbled.
"I was getting to that. I think I… Well, kind of?" Jack replied.
"What do you mean by 'kind of'? You either did or you didn't. Did you, or did you not, walk up to this girl and say 'will you be my girlfriend'?" Emily enquired.
"I kind of just… Held her hand all day." Jack mumbled.
"You're horrible!" Emily shouted, "The poor girl's probably lying in bed right now questioning whether or not you're in a relationship, let alone if you like her."
"Well I didn't know what to do. There was something different about her today. It was just so alluring, and everyone could see it, and I didn't want them to have her, and I just wanted her all to myself, and I don't even know if she likes me, oh no what if she doesn't like me?" Jack stumbled over his words quickly, coming to the conclusion and running his hands through his hair.
"You know, you could just ask her." Emily stated bluntly and walked into her room, closing the door.
Jack went into his room and sat on his bed, pulling out his mobile and tapping Clara's contact. The cursor blinked for him to start his message.
"What do I write to her?" Jack asked himself.
He stared at the screen for a couple more minutes. When the backlight started to fade, he started writing: 'Hey Clara, how was your trip home? Did you get home safely?'
Two minutes later, a reply from a very excited Clara came through. As soon as she'd seen the message from him, her heart beat faster and she responded as fast as she could: 'Hey, yeah my trip was pretty uneventful, but I'm home now. How about you?'
"Dinner!" Jack's mum called.
He quickly sent back: 'Yeah mine was boring too. Dinner time now, talk to you tomorrow xx'
When Clara received the message her stomach and her heart did flips. She twisted herself into knots and she slid onto the floor.
"I got x's…" She muttered to herself, remembering his lips on her forehead.
Clara shot back a reply saying goodnight, pausing for a minute to contemplate whether or not to sign off with x's as well. She decided she wouldn't, as she wasn't sure it was even him writing the x's, for all she knew it was his sister, as it had happened before.
She flung herself backwards onto the bed, staring up at the roof. The ceiling fan spun lazily and lulled her into a tranquil, contemplative state. Her emotions were so jumbled that she wasn't sure what to trust anymore. Did Jack like her? Did Jack want a relationship? Why did he hold her hand all day? Why was he so possessive? Why did it have to be on this day of all days, when she just started the experiment? Does that mean that Anita was right? So many questions spun through her head at a million kilometres an hour, she decided to take a Panadol and go to bed.
Jack saw her message, secretly hoping there would be x's to prove to him that she liked him as well, but seeing none, he fell defeated into his bed. As he rolled onto his side, he hoped that Clara would visit him in his dreams like she had been recently. For some reason, those dreams felt so real to him.
Clara tossed and turned, feeling too hot and then too cold, uncomfortable on her left and then her right. Eventually she fell asleep from exhaustion, still thinking of Jack.