Placing the last crate of newly obtained supplies in the storage hatch of the speeder, Ahsoka checked over Rex's carefully written list to be sure she hadn't forgotten to pick anything up at the market. Today's run was fairly simple, and they'd had more than enough of their own produce to trade for what they needed - an event which didn't happen nearly as often as she'd wished it did. There wasn't much on the list today: a few repair parts for the droids, some energy cylinders, and a handful of household supplies that they were running low on. The rest of the grain they had to sell was now in the form of credits, and Ahsoka slipped her hand into the small leather pouch on her belt to make sure they were all still there. Reassured by the cool metal she could feel against her fingertips, Ahsoka sighed and shut the lid of the hatch. She felt like she'd gotten so paranoid ever since she'd lost her connection to the Force, constantly checking and rechecking every little thing she did. She didn't really trust her blinded senses, and Ahsoka knew there was no room for error in Rex's carefully balanced accounts. He ran things with precision, and given that they started from nothing on Dantooine, finances were incredibly restricted.

Securing the opening of the pouch which held their earnings for the day, she checked the chrono on the speeder's dashboard, noting that it had only just passed midday. She'd made good time in the market, and she realised now how hungry she was. She turned and headed down the road towards the cantina nearest the marketplace, hoping they'd have something that wasn't swimming in grease for lunch. The place was a dive, and frequented by a pretty rough crowd, but it was convenient, and more importantly, it was what they could afford right now. Managing finances was new to Ahsoka - with the Republic taking care of her expenses during the war, she'd never really had the time or the inclination to find out what the general cost of living was. Learning everything for the first time was eye opening, and it made her think carefully about the sheltered life she'd led with the Jedi. Sustaining life on the 'Rim was comparatively cheap, but even so, it wasn't easy. While locally available goods were easy enough to come by and pay for, some things that Ahsoka had gotten used to on Coruscant came at a premium out here. It was something she'd been faced with the first time she and Rex had gone looking for a change of wardrobe, hoping to blend in a little more with the local colour. Almost everything sold in Khoonda's shops was fashionable in Coruscant at least a few years ago. Ahsoka wasn't particularly picky about her clothing, though, and that made the choices simpler. These days, she tended to stick to convenience: loose fitting, long sleeved tunics which protected her from the sun while she worked outside, and leggings that hugged her body and kept out of moving machinery. Her boots were old, second-hand things that she'd been assured were in prime condition. They rose to about her knee and provided her with ankle support on uneven ground, and they'd come at quite a price despite the fact that they looked like they'd seen a fair amount of wear before her time. Life, as it turned out, was expensive even on the 'Rim, and it made her realise how little she'd really known about life after all.

Nearing the cantina, Ahsoka drew the edges of her nondescript tan poncho a little closer, lifting the hood carefully over her montrals. She knew it was probably just paranoia again, but she didn't like taking her chances with the kind of people that hung out in places like this. Even though she wasn't a Jedi anymore, the events leading up to her expulsion from the Order had put her face on a lot of holoscreens, and it was pretty likely that the news of her innocence hadn't made the same kind of headlines. She wondered bitterly how many more months would have to pass before she stopped jumping at her own shadow, but stopped herself as she neared the cantina door. That was a slippery slope, and one she knew she couldn't afford to go down. Taking a deep breath, she raised her hand and placed it in the door's release switch, feeling them hiss open before her.

Almost as soon as the doors had opened, Ahsoka was slammed with a wave of noise and chaos. She could hear yelling and the sound of crunching glass, and felt her hand jerk uselessly towards the place her lightsaber would once have hung. She knew as soon as she moved that she was unprotected and flying blind, but she ran into the darkness without hesitation.

Rex!

The eerie hollows in her mind that once crackled with life and guided her instincts returned only echoes and isolation, but as Ahsoka's eyes adjusted to the dim light, she realised she didn't have far to look to find him.

A crowd had gathered at the centre of the cantina, contributing in equal parts shouts of rage and fear as a harried looking service droid squealed in garbled Basic, evidently trying to break up the crowd. She rushed forward, feeling suddenly sick as a dry lump rose in her throat. Surprised by her presence, a few of the crowd closest to her leapt aside, surprised by her sudden entrance, but what she saw left her momentarily speechless as though she'd taken a blaster bolt to the chest. On the ground in front of her, Rex was kneeling over a badly bloodied man, with one hand on the man's throat and one raised to strike. The man was gasping and clutching at his throat, a horrible wheezing noise escaping from his body that Ahsoka realized must have been an attempt at a scream. Rex was muttering something, but Ahsoka couldn't make it out over the strangled noises coming from the man beneath him.

"Rex!"

Her cry was barely audible as she struggled to make herself heard over the noise and the lump in her throat. She watched his fist come down, and fighting through her breathless horror, she found her voice as Rex's fist made contact with what she assumed was the man's jaw.

"Rex, stop! STOP!"

The crowd moved as Ahsoka lunged forward and grabbed Rex's arm, wrenching him off of the man with all of the force she could muster. Rex fell backwards and against her unexpectedly, throwing Ahsoka off of her balance, but she managed to steady herself as she knelt beside him. Quickly, she checked the vital signs of the man on the ground, relieved to find that he still had a pulse, albeit a faint one.

"Someone call a medic!" No one moved, and silence descended on the room. "Hurry!" Ahsoka snarled at the man standing closest to her more aggressively than she'd intended, sending him scurrying towards the door. He was either going for a medic or cutting his losses and running, but Ahsoka didn't have time to wonder which one it was going to be.

"What kriffing happened here? Rex?!"

Ahsoka turned to Rex just as he slumped to the floor, and managed to catch him under the arms as he crumpled, his head rolling backward and onto her shoulder. A man standing nearby laughed.

"Back off, sleemo, or you're next," she spat, knowing somewhere in the back of her mind that the threat was wrong, but finding little inclination to care.

The man quailed and the crowd dispersed, but Ahsoka gave little thought to them, turning her attention back to Rex. She glanced over him to check for any injuries that might have resulted in blood loss, but other than a few nasty bruises, he was mostly unscathed.

"Rex, can you hear me? Are you hurt?"

His eyes were half closed, and she could see his dilated pupils moving aimlessly beneath his eyelids. She gently lifted one eyelid, but his eyes remained glazed, and he gave no indication that he had seen her. He was still muttering, and Ahsoka leaned in until she could hear his words.

"Good... soldiers follow orders... good soldiers... follow orders... orders..."

She frowned, unsure of what they meant, but knowing that she didn't have the time to figure it out right now. The service droid was heading back towards the bar with a sense of urgency that she assumed went along with calling for backup, and lowering Rex gently to the ground, she got up and cut the droid off in its trajectory.

"I'm, uh, terribly sorry about the mess my... my husband's made. He was, uh, pretty drunk, but I hope this will...er... cover the damages." Ahsoka reached into her bag and drew out a handful of credits, thrusting them at the droid, which looked at them sceptically.

"Y-y-yes, I s-s-s-suppose this would co-co-contribute to the-"

"So I trust there's no problem, then! The man down there will be fine, the medics are on their way. Thank you very much for your... discretion."

Before the droid could respond, Ahsoka had crossed the room again and was back at Rex's side. Suddenly grateful for her species' strength, she pulled one of Rex's arms across her shoulders and wrapped an arm around his waist, thankful that law enforcement tended to avoid dives like this one. The streets were relatively calm as Ahsoka struggled with Rex, taking what felt like an eternity to get him back to the speeder. He was still muttering something about following orders, and Ahsoka felt apprehension increasing the ache in her chest. She hadn't seen what or how much he'd had to drink, but he wasn't acting drunk. If anything, he was acting like he had a concussion. One way or another, she needed to get him out of the city. She knew they had a well enough stocked med kit at home, and he'd already drawn enough attention to himself for one day. Reaching the speeder at last, Ahsoka hauled Rex into the passenger seat, reclining the back slightly to keep him from slumping forward. Settling herself into the driver's seat beside him, she gripped his hand tightly for a moment, wishing he'd come back, that he'd look at her, or just acknowledge her at all. He did neither.

"...follow...orders..."

Ahsoka felt sick, but she took a deep breath and released his hand, flipping the ignition toggle and swinging the speeder back into the street. Suddenly, she realised, she was completely, devastatingly alone. She glanced over at Rex as she gave the speeder a desperate kick, sending them streaking through the city.

"Hang on, Rexy... we're going home. Just... hang on."

Willing the speeder to go faster, Ahsoka pushed the throttle of the speeder, feeling the wind pick up around her as the landscape blurred. Her hands were firmly clasped around the yoke as the speeder passed out of the confines of the city and out onto the plains again. She'd learned to pilot from the best, but with her Force sense muffled, driving even a speeder seemed to take an excruciating amount of focus and attention. Out of the limits of the city, the terrain was relatively flat and straight, and she was thankful for that much. As the plains streaked past, Ahsoka kept an eye on Rex through her peripheral vision, feeling the vastness of their isolation more powerfully than she ever had. Rex was still unconscious, his head tilted towards her. She could see his lips moving, and although she couldn't hear his words over the rushing of the wind around them, she knew what he must be saying. Trying to keep her eyes and mind fixed on the road in front of her, Ahsoka fought the cold panic that was trickling through her limbs. She had no real way of knowing what was wrong, and they couldn't see a doctor out here. He'd be recognised, and she knew it wouldn't be long before someone made a profit on that intel. But without the Force, what could she do?

Ahsoka found herself on the stretch back to the house much faster than she'd anticipated, her mind so preoccupied with anxieties that she barely noticed the drive, other than the occasional bend in the road that required her attention at the speed she was travelling. Easing up on the throttle, Ahsoka felt the turbines shudder as they began cycling down to a slower speed. She'd pushed the speeder harder than she ever had, and she could feel it shuddering in protest as she eased it towards the hangar, the repulsorlifts whining more than they usually did as they cooled off. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Ahsoka knew that Rex would be annoyed if she'd damaged the speeder he'd been tinkering with for so long, but the thought seemed unimportant as she brought the speeder to a halt in the hangar with a jolt. The engines cut out, and Ahsoka tried to clear her head of the residual vibrations that echoed in the silence. She glanced over at Rex, who was still unconscious, and smiled sadly. She'd never seen him look so... helpless. The thought was disconcerting to her, nagging at her as she slipped out of the speeder and made her way around to Rex's side. Opening the door, she slipped an arm across his back and eased him carefully out of the seat, adjusting her stance slightly to support his weight as he slipped against her.

Ahsoka was exhausted and starving, but she only noticed because of the way her body seemed weaker as she half-pulled, half-dragged Rex across the hangar and through the threshold of the door that connected the structure to the house. She managed to get him back to his room somehow, and pausing only a moment to lay his head on a pillow, Ahsoka went off in search of the med kit. She found it where she'd left it this morning after patching up an unexplained gash on Rex's arm, a memory which troubled her even more now. She thought back on the moment as she rummaged through the kit, recalling the distant, glazed look in his eyes and the halting explanation he'd given her when she'd asked. She hadn't really believed him when he'd said it was from a harvesting droid, but she knew enough to know that whatever it was, he obviously hadn't wanted to talk about it. She'd tried not to let it hurt her too much, but there was a part of her that really wished he would tell her what was going on. He always seemed to be trying to protect her - something she realized was probably encouraged by her own mental state. She felt nausea and guilt creep icily into her chest as she worked, feeling that she had failed him, but tried to ignore the feelings. They weren't going to help Rex now. At the bottom of the med kit, she found what she was looking for - a cold pack and a small ampule of antishock to treat the concussion. She was relieved they still had some of the Republic supplies Rex had taken with him when he'd left - out here, basic supplies could sometimes be hard to find, and Ahsoka didn't have time to waste. Gathering what she needed, Ahsoka returned to the room, perching on the edge of the bed beside Rex. He was breathing normally, and the muttering had finally stopped. Activating the cold pack, Ahsoka placed it gently on Rex's forehead, letting her fingers trace the line of his jaw as she pulled her hand away. She couldn't see any visible bruising, but she decided that following standard procedure would be safest in this situation. Picking up the little ampule of antishock, Ahsoka checked the expiry signature, relieved to find it was still in date.

She reached towards Rex again, lifting his chin and turning his head gently to the side to prep a spot for the injection, but as she moved his head, Rex's eyes fluttered open and he sat bolt upright in bed, his hand locking onto Ahsoka's wrist with an iron grip. Ahsoka gasped, dropping the ampule in shock, but attempting to pull her wrist free only made Rex's grip tighter. His eyes were glassy and unfocused, and his breathing was ragged and panicked.

"Rex, it's just me! It's Ahsoka! You're safe!"

He did not release her, and she could see beads of sweat breaking out on his forehead. Ahsoka felt fear welling up within her - she'd never seen a concussed soldier act this way before. Rex was acting erratic and strangely aggressive, and he didn't seem to be aware of his surroundings at all. Ahsoka felt her vision blur as she fought to hold back tears. It was just the two of them out here, and now, when Rex needed her, Ahsoka had no idea how to help. He'd always been there for her, and he'd always seemed to know what to do. Her heart pounding in her chest, Ahsoka moved towards him slowly, extending her free hand toward him cautiously. He seemed not to notice, his eyes rolling under half-closed lids. Ahsoka placed her hand on his cheek. His skin was burning beneath her fingers, but she kept her hand as steady as she could manage, stroking his face gently.

"Rexy, please... come back..."

Overcome and exhausted, Ahsoka slumped forward, holding her head in her free hand and letting the tears she was fighting run their course. She needed guidance now more than ever, and all around her, silence pressed in and threatened to suffocate her. Without her masters, the army, the Force, she was trapped in cold, hopeless isolation. She felt guilt and self loathing crush her. Is this all that's left of me when the Force is gone? Is this all I am?

"...'Soka...? Wha...what happened?"

The sound of Rex's voice snapped Ahsoka back into the present, and lifting her head, she found his eyes still bleary, but focused on her.

"Rex! I was so worried about you! You weren't responding to me, I was scared..."

Rex slowly moved his eyes downward to where his arm was still clasping Ahsoka's wrist, and realizing what he was doing, he released her immediately, panic flashing in his eyes as he realized he'd left welts in her skin. Noticing his horror, Ahsoka responded quickly.

"It's okay, I'm not hurt."

"That's not true. I bruised you... I don't even remember it happening..."

"It's not a big deal - "

"It is to me," Rex growled, his voice heavy and on the verge of breaking.

"What's going on, Rex? You... you don't have a concussion, do you? Please, talk to me..."

"I... I wish it was that simple. Look, there's... a lot I need to tell you, but I don't think we have much time. You're not safe with me anymore. I need you to do me a favour, and you can't argue with me on this. Can you do that?"

Ahsoka nodded wordlessly, her voice suspended in fear.

"There's a box under the bed with some Republic-issue stuff I kept. I need you to find the binders and cuff me. Hurry Ahsoka!"

Ahsoka stared for a moment, not entirely comprehending what Rex had asked of her.

"Cuff you? Rex, I need you to relax, okay? You're running a fever, I don't think you're thinking straight -"

"You're right, I'm not! That's why I need you to do this, please!"

It was the desperation in his voice that moved Ahsoka to do as he asked. She was sceptical of his request, but Rex was clearly panicked about something, and if putting binders on him would calm him down, she would have to do it. Ahsoka pulled the box out from underneath the bed and opened it, digging past an assortment of old gear until she found the binders at the bottom. She pulled them out and held them up, and Rex extended his hands immediately, the plea still written into the lines in his face. Frowning, Ahsoka did as he asked, clamping the binders onto his wrists as delicately as she could. As she did so, Rex sighed, his shoulders relaxing as he slumped backwards against the headboard of the bed, closing his eyes.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on now?"

Rex opened his eyes again after a moment, a deeply exhausted sadness pooling in them. She'd never seen him look this way before. For as long as she'd known him, Rex had been strength and wisdom and power. He was the man she'd wanted at her back in a firefight, the captain who kept his head when they were hemmed in and outgunned. Now when her eyes met his, she realized they were a perfect reflection of her own fears and anxieties. He was just as lost as she was.

"Ahsoka, there's... there are some things you should know. About why I deserted."

"You mean you didn't do it because you missed me?" Ahsoka teased, trying desperately to ward off the dread she felt at Rex's tone. Rex gave her a grateful half-smile, but his eyes remained dark.

"Only partly. I, uh... I don't imagine you heard about what happened to Tup. He was a good soldier, but he cracked during a campaign on Ringo Vinda. Shot a Jedi general at point blank. He just... 'Soka, he changed. We didn't - none of us saw it coming, and then he was gone! And then Fives! Fives was strong, I knew him, 'Soka!"

Rex's voice hovered on the edge of breaking, and Ahsoka placed her hand lightly over his bound ones, fighting hard to project calm. She couldn't entirely follow what Rex was talking about, and his voice had taken on a hard edge that bordered on hysteria. His glassy eyes were wide, an unhealthy flush darkening his cheeks.

"Wait, slow down. Breathe. Tell me what happened, slowly. What happened to Tup and Fives, Rex?"

Fives took Tup to Kamino... doctors said they were gonna find out what was wrong with him, but he died. They both died as strangers. They did things... stuff they never would have done before..."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this before...?" Ahsoka's voice was soft, and she hoped that her question hadn't come out as an accusation. When Rex spoke, she could feel the delicate vibrations of his agonized words echo through the hollows of her montrals and down into her body. It was how she sensed sound, but in this case, it was more than just sound she was sensing. It was every strained word and shaken outburst - hairline fractures splintering the emotional armour that had made Rex the soldier that he was. She could feel the vibrations that formed the cracks in her own body, and she was powerless to stop them from spreading.

Rex drew a shuddering breath.

"Honestly, I... I didn't know what to make of it myself. Still don't know if I do. Last time I saw Fives, he... had the same look in his eye. He was acting... erratic. The doctor in charge of Tup said he'd caught a virus, but Fives said it was a conspiracy, a cover up of the truth..."

"The... truth?"

Ahsoka felt her heart sinking. She hadn't left that long before Rex, all of this had happened so fast. She was stunned to hear Tup had turned on a general , and the direction this was going made her uneasy.

"We were engineered with chips in our heads, 'Soka. Doctors said they kept us docile. But Fives didn't believe it. He removed his own, and was trying to warn me about them. Even Fives snapped. Tup and Fives... what I did back there... and now they're gone!"

"Fives was killed? By whom?"

"Coruscant Guard. Said he was dangerous after he'd removed his chip... he threatened the Chancellor! And after what I did back there... 'Soka, you can't take these binders off of me! I can't end up like Tup...the things he kept saying... no clone would... what he was repeating... didn't make any sense... he was defective..."

Ahsoka could see the pain in Rex's eyes and hated how helpless she felt. For all his sincerity in the importance of doing his duty as a clone, the loss of Fives had shaken him to his core. For all of his stoic silence, she'd seen how restless Rex had been since they'd come to Dantooine. He tried to hide it from her, but she knew he wasn't sleeping at night, and the way his eyes fixed on an indeterminate point in the distance when he thought she wasn't watching. And then there was Tup. She didn't know much about the circumstances surrounding Tup's death, but given what she'd just seen Rex go through, and the little he'd told her, it didn't take much imagination to guess why he was worried. The words Rex had been repeating cast a shadow over her thoughts. Good soldiers follow orders. She wondered darkly if Tup's mind had been filled with the same thoughts.

"Rex, you are not defective. You're not well, but we'll make this better, I promise. Just, stay with me, okay? Focus on me."

"'Soka, I... it happened once, I can't hold it back... I can't tell what's real and what's a nightmare anymore... I can't end up like Tup! You need to... you need to go! Get away from me! I've done... seen horrible things..."

"I'm not leaving you," she growled softly, squeezing his hand tightly. "I'm not afraid of you."

Rex met her gaze, a deep sadness in his eyes.

"At the end, Tup was gone... it won't even be me anymore..."

Ahsoka felt painfully hollow, but she tried to steady herself for Rex's sake. She could see his eyes slipping out of focus, and his speech was fragmented and strained, as if every word he chose was being pulled from a distant place in his mind. The Rex she knew was trickling away, and she felt as though a wall divided them even with her hands gripping his.

"You're not going anywhere Rex, okay? You can't..."

His eyes focused for a moment, the physical strain of so simple an act causing his body to tense. Ahsoka brushed his cheek softly to relax him, and she saw his tension ease slightly at her touch. She knew he was fighting to stay with her, imprisoned in his own mind. She was desperate, grasping through the panic in her mind for anything she knew that might help him. She hadn't been trained very much in healing - they'd always had a medic around for that, and without the ability to sense him as she'd once done, she had no idea what was truly wrong. For a brief moment, she saw a flicker of fear linger in Rex's eyes as he focused them on her, and slowly let them fall shut. Ahsoka strangled a sob before it could escape her, knowing Rex needed her now. She wrapped her arms tightly around her body and drew her knees up to her chin, suddenly unable to stop shivering as she watched him. Rex was unconscious, but his body was still tense, spasms violently wrenching him out of his resting position. Picking up the cold pack from where it had fallen when he'd been briefly conscious, Ahsoka placed it back on his forehead, feeling the futility of the gesture. It seemed so pathetic and useless, but it was all she could think to do. She was exhausted, her energy entirely spent. She hadn't eaten all day, and her body ached from the tension she'd put it through all day, but none of those things registered in her mind. Ahsoka's focus was entirely on Rex. The man who'd left the only family he'd ever had, and who'd crossed the stars to find her again. The man who'd fought at her side, probably against his better judgement more than once, because he trusted her. He'd trusted her. And now she was letting him down. She rested her cheek on her knee, focusing on his breathing, which was shallow and ragged and strained. She closed her eyes, trying to reach beyond the confines of her body, to breach the wall that was keeping her from him. But she felt nothing. Her pleas were met with silence and emptiness, and once again she felt herself sealed away from the life that surrounded her. Her guiding light remained dark, and her own consciousness echoed through her mind, irritatingly loud and preventing her from hearing and feeling the subtle waves of the Force she'd known once. Rex was right beside her, but he felt further from her than he'd ever been.

She woke with a jolt, feeling Rex's body jerk unexpectedly beside her. Rubbing exhaustion from her eyes, Ahsoka straightened herself from the slump she'd fallen into, her back arched and sore. She felt a pang of guilt strike her as she realised it was now dark outside. Night had fallen while she'd been asleep, but Rex's conditioned hadn't improved. She frowned as she glanced over him, realizing that he was straining against the binders, his wrists nearly raw from the chafing metal. She hated the idea of restraining him in this condition, but he'd been so adamant that she left the binders in place. Still, the sight of the metal cutting into his wrists pained her, and Ahsoka reached towards him to try and readjust the cuffs from where they currently sat on his wrists. As soon as her fingers made contact with his skin, Rex thrashed reflexively, causing her to pull her hand back in alarm. He'd been more or less still since they'd spoken earlier, but he opened his eyes again now, struggling restlessly against the binders with a distant, glazed look in his eyes. Worried that he'd injure himself further, she reached towards him again, but this time, he focused, his eyes locked onto her with hardened anger. Ahsoka froze, feeling his gaze burning her. There was something hard and steely there that she'd never seen before. At least, she hadn't seen him direct it at her. She knew he wasn't well, but the glare cut deeply regardless. This wasn't him. Something was wrong.

"Rex? What's the matter...?"

His response was slow, and no hint of recognition flickered in his eyes, which remained firmly locked on Ahsoka. His brow furrowed, as if in concentration. Ahsoka could see beads of sweat forming there.

"Rex..." Her voice was soft now, pleading, for whatever it was worth. Any minute now, it would pass. His angry glare would melt and he'd be himself again. He had to be. "Rex, it's me... it's Ahsoka..."

She reached towards him again, but his eyes snapped to her hand, tracking its movement. Without any warning, he jerked away from her.

"Jedi."

His voice was a low, deadly growl. Ahsoka felt the word pierce her heart, her world collapsing into silence. He'd spat it out like a curse, that little word that had once been everything she had. Like a condemnation.

"...What?"

"Jedi... betrayed us... good soldiers... follow... orders..."

The strength to speak came only with agonized pain. She was afraid, but she needed to understand, or at least to try. Fear of what she knew she must face chilled her, and she fought to steady her voice.

"And what are your orders... Captain?"

He looked her in the eyes, cold steel flashing where once he'd kept respect and affection. Rex was gone, and in his place, only the soldier remained. She'd seen that look in his eyes before. It was the look he'd gotten in the face of an enemy, of something which stood between him and his purpose. She felt herself recoil as though he'd struck her, wondering why despite her agony, she did not bleed.

"Jedi are...traitors... kill... the Jedi..."

She could feel herself backing away as Rex became frantic, his eyes rolling back as he struggled to get free. To carry out his orders.

I couldn't save him.

The gravity of her loss crushed her with the force of a collapsing star. Her presence made him restless and agitated, and with what will remained at her command, she retreated, clutching at the wound his words had torn into her chest. The door hissed shut behind her, and for a moment, she leaned against it, her forehead pressed to the cool metal, fingers digging grooves into its unforgiving surface. She no longer felt the need to hold back her tears, and she released them at last, feeling them run down her cheeks leaving burning trails in their wake. On the other side of the barrier that divided them, she could hear him repeating the only thing he seemed to have left, the words of an order that had torn the lives from those who had raised her, and those to whom she had once pledged her life. In a horrible moment of clarity, Rex's words seemed suddenly coherent and logical. He and his brothers had been trained from birth to do one thing well - to obey. Rex, Tup, Fives... all of them had been independent thinkers insofar as they were given the liberty to be. But grown for the purpose of war, they were taught many things that became embedded in their minds, perhaps even forgotten for a time.

Kill the Jedi.

It was these very orders that had, in a devastating instant, plunged the balance of the Force into surging, terrible agony. She'd felt it rage within her, the sensation at once like fire and ice and excruciating pain, and responding with what must have been a survival instinct, she reacted in terror and shut it all away. Now she wondered which was worse - the inferno she had faced, or the darkness she'd been trapped in when the blaze died out. She was suspended in darkness, her heart pounding hard enough to take her breath away. Across one thin barrier, the orders that had destroyed her world were burning in the only world she had remaining. Ashamed, afraid, and blind, Ahsoka turned and ran.