Of course she'd chosen life, though when forcibly attached at the hip to a smoochy-faced asgardian it hardly seemed better – a fate worse than death. He was rattling on, something about how he wanted more children than she could possibly bare without exploding, but she wasn't really listening. Oh how she wished Heimdall would come and rescue her from this – and stop playing hard to get. As he dragged her through the palace, not even caring where they were headed, she looked up just in time to give a dejected wet kitten face at Prue who was waiting by the kitchens looking rather cross at her. An exchange of predicament, the redhead's brow softening, as she comprehended the situation and dropped folded arms to storm like only Prue could towards them.
"Egill!" There was a head turning 'thwack' that stunned both the warrior and his prize - though only one of them had received the strike. "How many times does that child have to tell you 'no' before it will get through that thick skull of yours? And now you make her late for service. That reflects on the rest of us, on me. Now listen here, you gelatinous oaf, put her down or by Odin's great burly beard I will feed you too the frost giants myself!"
Kari was unceremoniously dropped, her knees blocking the fall with a teeth chattering hiss of discomfort. Oh, Prue was so her hero. How had that even worked? The answer to her question becoming suddenly very apparent as she peered up, noting the look of love in the warrior's eyes but now directed at the furious looking server. It would have upset her, his wandering affections, had she not wanted so desperately to get away from it.
"Come, girl." Prue helped her back onto her feet, turning sharply and dragging the other woman towards the kitchens without so much as a backwards look.
After that, Egill never so much as thanked her for pouring his ale, eyes constantly focused on the lip pursing female menace of asgard. He'd even started leaving strange asgardian gifts for his new interest, though unlike her, Prue genuinely seemed to be enjoying the attention and took every instance to show off her latest bauble around the kitchen. It was a match made in heaven – or asgard – and with it came such a tremendous relief Kari had almost forgotten completely about Loki and his plotting. Would the god of mischief retaliate?
She was suddenly a lot more wary, jumping at the slightest sounds of an unusual nature and constantly checking her underwear draw for signs of tampering. Days went by and nothing. The waiting felt crueler than the act could ever possibly be, though maybe that was Loki's point – let her stew in it before finally releasing his surprise. Opposite side of the same coin, what had he been plotting in the library that day? Maybe his other plans should have been of more concern to her and dually why he hadn't pranked her yet – too caught up in other mischief.
It was just after lunch, Kari busily sweeping up shards of smashed cups and glassware from the floors of the dining hall when Thor had began looming over her. She thought she was in trouble for something at first, perhaps Loki related but that turned out not to be the case – at least not entirely. The bimbo was frowning, worried with arms held tight on his hips as he sort out words to say. Righting herself, a pan full of debris in her hand she gave him a questioning look as if to spur his wits into a greater fervor.
"Thor?" she tried, he wasn't actually looking at her but instead staring thoughtfully at the walls. "Odinson?" She tried again, this time his head swiveling to meet her gaze.
"I am deeply troubled, Fandralkin." He finally began then stopped once more.
"It's Kari." She muttered to herself then slipped on her too big waitress smile. "Is there something I can do to help with that?"
"I believe so, friend." There it was, the shoulder slap of friendship and along with it her lurching to the side and dropping her dustpan of fragments. "I need for you too speak with your kin and convince him to give up his fool errand."
"My kin? Fandral?" she wasn't really sure what the prince was going on about but he did seem genuinely affected. "What's he up to?"
"He has forsworn his philandering ways and declared a vow of celibacy." Thor was scowling; apparently this was a ridiculously bad thing. "I have been inundated with maids from all over the nine realms begging to have this wrong put right." That definitely sounded like an over-exaggeration. "I may be a god but I am still only one man. How can I possibly restore such balance to all the women of the realms alone? He is Fandral the dashing, not Fandral the dull. Help me talk some sense into him, Fandralkin. For Asgard and all that weep for his return to glory."
"Sooo… what you're telling me is," Kari's face was a mirror image of the words, 'not buying it' by this point, "your wingman has gone and gotten morals and now you don't have anybody to score chicks with on the weekend."
"I do not understand your analogy, mortal." But he did seem to understand her tone if his mild embarrassment was anything to go by. "Will you help me or not?"
"I don't know what you think I can do?"
"He thinks very highly of you, Fandralkin. Also, he had mentioned some disagreement you two were engaged in just before his vow."
"Oh, so you think this is my fault now?"
"I did not say that."
"But you implied it." Why was she so annoyed? It probably actually was her fault after that bombshell she just detonated on the poor guy the other night. "Ugh, fine. But I have work to do right now so later."
"I am indebted to you, friend." He was beaming like a small child, practically bursting at the seams with hope filled joy as he gave her another whack on the shoulder and strode away leaving her to clean up the mess he'd helped create.
The next conversation she had with Fandral had started better than any of the previous others – now there were no more secrets between them, she supposed. He was drunk when she arrived at his rooms and his lips were very loose indeed as he recounted tales of a wife he had once had called Marian. The entire story had sounded suspiciously like the tale of Robin Hood, as he laid out all the details, but something in it still rang of truth so she saw no reason to question it.
As she moved onto her second glass of wine, her own lips began to loosen as somewhat similar tales began to surface from her past. A string of boyfriends that for the most part had deserved better from her, the odd occurrence of one night stands and finally a drunken tear filled realization the only one she'd ever loved being her cat. He'd laughed at that confession, his sense of humour returning to him swiftly as they talked through the night.
"I believe you have inherited more than just my eyes, my dear." Fandral leaned forward from his chair, refilling her cup despite her less than enthusiastic headshake at the offer.
"Who could forget the nose?" She turned her head to the side and pointed at the appendage, he mimicking the same before they both burst out laughing.
"It is a curse to so easily fall in love." He sighed whimsically.
"Hmmm." She nodded, sipping on her fourth or fifth drink of the evening. "Better than the curse of being constantly in a bit of a mood like Loki."
"Loki?" He was puzzled how the conversation had moved from love to Loki in such a short leap. The two hardly seemed compatible. "The trickster. What is between you two, Kari?"
"Between us?" She paused to choke on wine caught in her throat. "Nothing between us I assure you! I'm interested in Heimdall."
"I had heard tell of that. You know his duty will always be his first love, my dear. I would forget about the guardian if I were you."
"But… Hmmm." She left her comment hanging in purgatory, eyes glued to her distorted reflection at the bottom of her cup; her grandfather was right, it was a going-no-where-fast relationship just like the ones she'd pursue in her old life. Maybe that was it, he was the guardian of the bifrost, a link between her birthplace and asgard – no wonder he was so appealing. "Thor wants his wing man back. He looked a right state earlier when we spoke. You need to cheer him up, gramps, go do whatever it is you do in asgard that involves alcohol and women."
"I have taken a vow-"
"I know, I know. Sorry if I had anything to do with that." She paused to down the last of her wine, liquid courage fueling the relaxation of her mind. "Besides, it might be nice to have some aunts and uncles. Your not so bad, this family thing's not so bad."
"Your approval of me is most cherished." He laughed, the jug of wine held up in his grip inviting her to have another.
"Oh… just one more, but this is the last, I have work tomorrow." She offered up her cup accepting the crimson aroma he poured.