Author's Note: I have an explanation to why I am updating so late! I was going to update on Christmas, but the server was down for fanfiction. Sigh.

Day Eighteen: C'est la mort by The Civil Wars (That's life; that's death)

His lips.

His lips, soft like feathers, touched hers so gently and sweetly, it made her forget pain.

She pulled away. The remnants of her tears felt restricting on her face, but his mere presence made her feel more comfortable.

Still, she turned away. She realized that this wasn't right. She had broken his heart, and now he was comforting her in her time of vulnerability.

She didn't deserve it.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" she asked finally.

"What do you mean?" he inquired, scrutinizing her melancholy features, like her downcast chocolate eyes, her slightly-parted pink cupid bow lips, and her clear ivory skin.

"I thought I broke your heart and now you're comforting me. Why?" she asked, finally looking him in his baby blue eyes.

He was quiet for a minute before answering. "Because I think I still love you," he admitted. "I don't like seeing you so distraught."

She sniffled. "I just feel like such a fool…like I'm the only one in this freaking town that didn't know Jason was my dad's son," she said bitterly.

"You don't need to beat yourself up about it. Nothing's going to change, Spencer."

She sighed. "But everything feels different. Everything feels like a lie."

Like it wasn't already.

She pushed away her own bitter thoughts and continued. "My parents are supposed to have this perfect marriage and a perfect life, but now that I know, things are…different. It almost makes me feel like some kind of mistake. Of course, Melissa was the planned, perfect daughter. Jason was brought about because my dad couldn't help but sleep with Mrs. DiLaurentis. But me? I…I was like some kind of effort to save my parents' marriage. Or at least, I feel like that."

He thought about what to say to that. He couldn't think of anything. He just took her hand.

"What if Alison is my sister, too?" she thought aloud.

He stared at her for a moment, trying to get an idea of how serious she was. "I'm sure your dad wouldn't—"

"If he could do it once, he could do it again," she insisted.

He was silent for a moment. "Don't you think he'd own up to it, now, then?"

Spencer shrugged. "I'm just…angry they kept it for so long. And I'm angry at myself for not figuring it out. And I'm angry because…I don't know how else to feel. There's nothing left for me to love."

He was a bit crestfallen by that, but there was a small glimmer of hope for him when she whispered:

"At least, there isn't anymore."

He stared at her. He pulled his hand away, feeling a bit insecure himself. He cleared his throat.

"I used to feel that way, especially after my mom started getting sick and when she died."

She thought about it. "I probably sound like a baby being so upset over something so trivial when you don't even have your mom anymore," she commented bitterly and with a strong undertone of self-loathing.

"You have the right to be angry."

She shook her head. "If anyone has that right, it's you," she retorted firmly.

"It's not about who has more of a right," he responded. He shook his head; this was getting off topic. "Anyway, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm saying, I used to feel the same. Like…there wasn't anything left but anger anymore. Your sadness wears off into self-loathing and anger. And that's all that's left," he said.

She nodded, not able to express how accurate his explanation was to what she was feeling at the moment.

He sighed, continuing. "You're too good for that, Spencer." He laughed a bit to himself. She looked over at him. "Gee, I never thought I'd be sitting here, having this conversation with Spencer Hastings, of all people."

She rolled her eyes, a small smile crossing her lips. "Shut up," she said with a slight blush on her cheeks.

"But I mean it. I really do love you, even though there are things you can't tell me. I know you weren't planning on telling me about this, but you opening up to me about it is…it's a big deal to me," he said, fumbling over his words a bit.

She bit her lip, trying to distract herself and keep from giving in. "Toby, I…I'm scared. Not because of us, but…Alison's killer is still out there, and I think…it's not safe," she said.

He examined her, trying to figure out what she was saying. He suddenly recalled what she said to him when they broke up. "Not safe? Alison's killer? Spencer, are you saying someone is after you?"

She sighed, a pained look coming across her face. "I can't believe I could be so stupid and tell you!" she exclaimed, scolding herself.

"Spencer?"

She hung her head. "Yes, it's true. Someone has been harassing me, Emily, Aria, and Hanna ever since Alison's body was found and…I broke up with you because I was scared they'd hurt you, okay? That's the truth," she admitted finally. She looked around; they were totally alone in the school auditorium. Or were they, really?

He nodded. "I'm not going to let them hurt you."

Spencer scoffed. "It's not me I'm concerned about; it's you. They're the one who severed your brake lines. They're the one who killed Alison and I'm guessing who killed Ian, so I imagine they wouldn't have a problem with killing you," she said.

He shrugged. "I'm willing to take the risk."

She looked at him sadly. "But I don't want to take that risk. I don't ever want to lose you."

He shook his head. "You're not going to lose me."

They shared another kiss, where Spencer felt herself smiling again. If the end was near, he was with her. That was all that really mattered. Death, she realized, was inevitable; she might as well live life as happily as she could, even with A breathing down her neck.

Alright, onto those PMs!

AL3110: It's not just you. I was TOTALLY thinking of Marina while writing this, those two songs, as well. I love those two. And I think next year, she's coming out with a new album (I hope). I will be the first person to get it! I love her so much!

Spobyforever259:I think your iPod is possessed. That, or the powers that be like my Red Trilogy, too. I had to do a similar activity in Shakespeare class. I was Elizabeth, AKA the best ruler of the Tudor Dynasty (shh, don't tell anybody). So Anne Boleyn was my mom, so she gets a pass. I can tell just by your reviews that your writing would probably be animated and fun. If you ever decide to post something on here, PM me so I can fangirl over it. I like reading my reviewers' and readers' stories (but only if it pertains to a fandom I actually know; I have a reader on here who posts for Shake It Up, but I haven't watched that show...like ever, so I have no idea what's going on). And what instrument do you play? I love talking music with everybody.

eveningshades1107:I could never really picture Spanna becoming canon, but they're my favorite relationship between the PLLs, so I ship it. Look, look, look, I ship these: OTP- Spoby (duh) and if you could have two, Haleb; OT3s- Spobaleb (Spencer+Toby+Caleb), Spobanna (Spencer+Toby+Hanna; they've never had a scene together, but I'd ship it), Spannaleb (Spencer+Caleb+Hanna); BrOTP- Taleb (FTW), Spanna, Spoodie (Spencer+her A Team Hoodie); NOTPs- Jenna+Toby (I don't even want to come up with a ship name), Ezria. I also like Mona+Hanna and if Spoby didn't exist, I would probably ship Spencer with Noel. Spencer is just too ship-able. My top three are probably 1) Spencer (the Boss), 2) Hanna or Toby, 3) Hanna or Toby. Mona is a close 4th. She's just too interesting to really hate. I like her enigma as a character.

Again, I apologize. For the record, I DID try to give you guys this as a Christmas present, but this stupid server wasn't cooperating. And then yesterday, I was at my mom's house. As you guys know, no Wi-Fi.

So the next song is going to be Penguin by Christina Perri. It's a really cute song and will probably also be canon to some point in the series.

Bye! Merry Holidays to all!

And also, eleven days until season 4B premieres! We have a lot to be excited about! Especially considering that adorable Spoby-centric sneak peek ;) -Kayson