Warning: This Chapter contains distrubing scene and foul language.

Chapter 8

The room stank of alcohol, smoke, and men, scantily clad women draped themselves over the men about the room, laughing and making obscene comments, jokes, and suggestions. It was disgusting to watch. Lou hated it, she felt dirty and disgusting for being one of those scantily clad women, but she almost had enough money to start over back west somewhere, she almost had the money to go to Emma until she could find her own spread. She just had to last a little bit longer. She longed for the open plains of the prairie, for the clean fresh air, for a warm bed that didn't smell like sex and cheap perfume, she longed to feel clean again, to be free. She longed to be loved, to be worthy of being loved. She longed for her family, all of them, even the ones she knew she would never see again because they were dead and gone. She longed for her kid siblings who she had failed, who she never got out of the orphanage, who she had no clue whether they were even still alive. She longed for a life she could never have again. She longed to be innocent.

Lou stood up and made her way across the room, drifting between the different men, looking for a customer, there was no use in dwelling on her thoughts, there was no changing her lot in life, there was no going back, just going forward. And if she was to move on, she needed to work, she needed a paying customer. Lou looked at the men in the brothel, most were regulars. None of her regular clients were there tonight, but that didn't mean she couldn't find a client. She scanned the faces, Jerry he's not so bad, never gets rough bit of a pansy though, Hank no he likes to tie the girls up and hump their breast usually always cuming on their faces, Jason depends on how much he's been drinking, he gets mean when he's had too much. She continued searching the faces finding possible clients and ones she outright would not take, all the while she felt eyes on her. She turned and found the owner of the eyes, a big burly man, his beard full and bushy, his eyes a hard steel grey. He looked meaner than a grizzly bear, but looks could be deceiving. She didn't recognize him.

"Hey Dolly, who's that." Lou asked the woman who had walked up next to her.

Dolly looked over to where Lou was looking, "Oh that be, Jethro Mills, you ain't gonna want him Louise. He's a mean one, he likes it rough, he will manhandle ya and knock ya around. Trust me, he's one of the worse ones."

"Good to know." Lou replied before she continued her search.

She had just about decided on a guy when Jethro approached her, "Take me to ya room whore."

"Not happening. I decide who I take to my room and you ain't going be the one I take." Lou said turning her back on him and walking away leaving a very angry man with murder in his eyes behind her.

Lou was on her way upstairs with Jerry when she felt someone grab her arm, "No whore is going tell me no, bitch."

"Mister you best let go of her, she's already got a client as you can see." Jerry said grabbing hold of Jethro's arm.

Jethro pulled a large knife out from behind his back and held it against Jerry's neck, "Iffn you want to live, I'd suggest you hightail it out of here. The whore is mine for tonight."

Jerry let go and ran back down the stairs, leaving Lou at the mercy of the mad man. Jethro forced Lou into her room. "Yer gonna pay for refusing me bitch."

"You don't scare me, ya bastard. I gotta a right who I take to me room. Now get the fuck out." Lou stated drawing her gun from her bedside table and aiming it at him.

But Jethro was too quick for Lou, before she could blink he was on her, knocking the gun from her hand. His large hands wrapped around her neck, squeezing the life out of her. Lou's vision was going black when he let go, only to backhand her across the face knocking her across her bed. Lou screamed as he dove on top of her, tearing and ripping her dress away.

"No! Get off of me! Let me go!" Lou screamed at the top of her lungs but she knew help wasn't coming.

"Shut yer trap ya dirty whore." Jethro seethed as he hit her across the face again.

Lou fought and kicked at him, biting his hand when he put it over her mouth, only to earn another hit from him. But the more she struggled the more he seemed to enjoy it. It was hopeless, he was just too big and strong. No matter what she did, she could not stop him from forcing himself into her. Lou cried and screamed but gave up fighting, it was no use. She laid there like a log, forcing her mind elsewhere, her body might have been in that bed being used against her will, but her mind was riding across the open plains with the boys again. When he was done with her, he let her get up and dress.

With her back to him Lou stated with a quiet deadliness to her voice, "I swear that I will kill you for what you did."

But before Lou could turn around and fire the gun she had picked up, a blade pierced her shoulder and tore down her side. Causing a blood curdling scream to erupt from her mouth. "Not if I kill ya first." He whispered in her ear, his eyes flashing in steely anger and the world went black.

"Lou wake up! Lou you're having a nightmare." Buck pleaded, shaking the her thin shoulder as she thrashed about in her sleep and mumbled.

"Noo...off me...let go." Lou mumbled, kicking and fighting Buck.

The color drained from Buck's face. "Lou please wake up, it's just a dream."

"Buck what's going on?" Emma's concerned voice called out in the dark.

"Lou's having a nightmare, I can't wake her up." Buck said.

She thrashed and fought some more, "bastard...I'll kill ya...done to me".

"Wake up darlin' please." Buck pleaded, it was killing him to listen to what was obvious memories of being raped.

A blood curdling scream ripped the air as Lou shot up, breathing hard, her eyes flashing in fear, a cold sweat on her forehead. She found Buck's concerned face next to her, Emma and Sam's worried ones looking over from the bed. "Sorry." She muttered.

"Ain't nuttin' to be sorry bout girl. Are you alright?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, it was just a nightmare...about the attack, I guess talking about it earlier triggered the memories." Lou stated, her eyes dropping to the floor.

"Lou...why didn't you tell me?" Buck whispered so only she could hear him.

"Tell ya what Buck, I told ya about the attack." Lou said.

"You didn't mention the part where he raped you first." Buck said softly, tears filling his eyes.

Lou's chin started quivering, "I ... how... it was bad enough I was raped once but to go through it again... I couldn't tell you."

Buck drew Lou into his arms, "I'm sorry, so so sorry. If I could have protected you either time, I would have. I would have gladly died to protect you love."

Lou cried into Buck's chest as he laid back down, pulling her with him, completely forgetting Sam and Emma watching them. Emma cried for her Loulabelle, for the pain she had gone through. She cried for Buck, for the fact that the Lou he got back, was just a shell of the Lou she once was. She hoped that somehow Lou would find her way back to them all. Sam didn't cry, he vowed to find the rat bastard who had hurt the girl. As soon as he got home to Sweetwater he was going to start looking to find out where this Jethro Mills was now and when he found him, he was gonna tie him up, throw him over the back of a horse, and bring him to Buck, where the two of them would take out of his hide all the pain they could before they killed him...true this wasn't very Christian of Sam, nor was it in any way legal but he thought God would forgive him...at least he hoped he would at least understand.

A/N: Ok I hope that turned out well. I didn't want to get too graphic with the rape scene as that could be very uncomfortable for a lot of people but I hope it didn't seem too sedate. Anyway, I meant to get this chapter out last week but alas I had a house full of sick kiddos ... all four of them plus myself... and just did not feel like writing anything, nor had the time. Rest assure I will update again soon. Seems like my muse is back in full force, best take advantage of it while I can. I will be going back to school in August, so once that happens I won't have much time to write if any. But hey its something I've been wanting to do since I had my oldest. Anyway let me know what y'all think about this chapter.