I opened my mail and the first one caught my eye. Mail from Tanya.

CHAPTER 2 – EPOV - INFATUATION

I sat there immobile. I couldn't raise my hand and click that one button so I can see her final words. Why should she mail. We could have met. Sure our relationship deserves at least that much respect. Seeing my stunned frame Alice sighed and opened the mail from Tanya.

As my eyes caught her first two words I know what the rest of the mail is about. 'Edward', just Edward. That moment I know I am no more her honey or dear. I braced myself for what is in that main. What I saw still pained my dead heart.

Edward,

I am sorry to have to tell you this Edward but we don't belong to each other anymore. In fact we never were. The time I gave you has passed. I know you won't change your diet. I am not disappointed. I know you won't change. The reason I gave you a year is otherwise you won't realise the truth. You will just blame yourself but there won't be any result.

True I was attracted to you when we met. But just attraction is not sufficient for life. I have moved on. I wish you will do the same. Our relationship is just an infatuation. Don't waste your life.

I didn't meet you in person or call you for it will only increase the awkwardness. It is better this way. Trust me. I and my coven will always be your friends and trustworthy ally.

Tanya.

Don't belong with each other, know you won't change, blame yourself, attraction, infatuation, MOVED ON, MOVED ON, INFATUATION, MOVED ON, INFATUATION, INFATUATION, ATTRACTION….

I read and reread her letter a 1oo times within a minute yet I couldn't take it. My highly efficient vampire brain seems to have taken a morning off. Even with my photographic memory just only few words from her letter were repeated in my brain.

I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to face my worried family right now. I just stood up and started running. I ran into the nearby woods. I was so fast that even with my vampire abilities my surroundings were just a green blur. I reached my meadow in mere 5 mins which will actually take 15 mins.

I felt alone, I liked my privacy. That is why I have never mentioned about this place to anyone. Not even Tanya. When I need somewhere to be calm this place is my refugee. It is very difficult for me to have silence with my mind reading.

Once I stopped running all the details flooded my mind. She has stated what she felt for me clearly in that mail. Our relationship is just an infatuation, an external attraction that won't last for the eternity. As I thought about that I felt the pain to full extent and I let it out. I let out a loud vampire cry. I heaved, I felt the burning in my eyes and the pain in my dead heart. I loved Tanya the same way I loved my family. Dearly and sincerely. Isn't it obvious to her? How can she tell that my love is mere infatuation? Sure Tanya is beautiful and being a vampire increases it. But I so definitely didn't love her for that. For almost all through my existence I had lived with my family. A family of 3 perfectly loving couples. When I found Tanya, all I felt was a great company and I thanked her each day and night for being with me. I gave her whatever she asked. I left my family to be with her. I even tried to change my diet. Still all she remembers is that one incident. That fateful day in the woods with that brown eyed angel pinned to a tree.

Wait! What did I say? Did I called the girl angle? She is the reason why I lost Tanya. I hate her. I hate for being so fragrant, I hate her for stumbling over air and cutting open her skin, I hate for passing Tanya that day, I hate for walking along that road, I hate for having that brown mesmerising puddle for eyes, I hate her for her innocence, for the care and concern she had even for the vampire who tried to murder her a few minutes ago. All those incidents flooded my mind.

I pinned her to a tree myself as her sweet fragrance hit me. For a moment I don't know anything but my thirst for her blood. She is my singer. Do it Edward! Tanya's approving voice hit my brain. I crouched over the girl and was about to set my razor sharp teeth over her unusually delicate skin which will open the torrent of that sweet sweet sweet blood. Ahhh! No one is there to stop me. Nothing could stop me from drinking that blood. Nothing but her trembling form.

As my lips were slightly gracing her neck, her veins pulsing that blood of hers, I felt something shaking the most precious thing in my hands. I didn't like that disturbance. As I saw what is causing that. It did stop me. Her entire small frame shook uncontrollably with fear. I was confused then. She didn't shout or try to wriggle out of grasp. She was just shivering out of fear. I looked up her face. Her deep eyes held fear and determination. She was fighting the tears but it started flowing out of her control. I couldn't take it anymore. It took all my will power to release her from my death grip and letting her fall. I don't know what is in her that stopped me from hurting her. Surely not my conscience as I didn't have any space in my brain for any logical analysis.

I felt Tanya by my side immediately. "What is the matter Edward?"

"I don't want to do this" I with confusion.

"What? You had that abnormal thirst right before a few minutes. She seems to be your singer. "

I didn't reply. "Edward!" she shook me.

"I can't harm her Tanya." I was surprised the conviction in my own voice.

"What? What are you talking about?" she was shocked by my sudden outburst.

"Listen Tanya. I don't know this girl. Yet I feel some sense of …. Protection over her. Sure her blood sings to me. But I don't want to harm something so fragile and pure."

She let out a high pitched laugh. She was mad and happy. "Fine. If you can't accept your own needs then you be yourself. I will take her."

I was stunned for a microsecond enough for a vampire to catch up the 10 feet distance. But I was faster than her. I reached her before any she could do anything and pulled her away from the girl. "Stop it Tanya."

"Why Edward? Your stupid moralistic views can't stop me anymore."

I was too stunned to react. "Take your hands off me Edward, I don't want to fight you. But I will if I have to. I don't want to die for a silly human" She told with such venom in her voice that I couldn't even trust it is her.

She looked at me with such loath. I was about to take my hands off her. Let her do what she wanted. Even if it will kill me out of guilt. Even if I can't see my father or anyone from my family in face. It is what I should do. But for the very first time I doubted our love. This is definitely not the women I thought I am in love with.

But then the most surprising thing happened. A very small voice asked us something. Even with my extraordinary hearing power that voice was almost not audible.

"Ah. are you figh.. fight.. fighting over me?"

I wasn't sure that is what I heard and I least expected the only other person in that area to utter a sentence at all. But it was her. I couldn't let Tanya move for I was immobile myself with shock. I looked at her all I saw was fear. But this fear was somewhat different from the previous death fear. It was almost pitying.

She didn't try to move. She looked like she was about to faint. Tanya didn't mind her. she was trying to get out of my grip. But I couldn't let her go. It is more than sin to let her kill the girl. I can't do that to her. I won't let Tanya do that. Seeing my determined expression Tanya stopped fighting me. "Fine. I won't kill her." I didn't loosen my grip. I could see that she accepted her defeat. But she had another idea. 'We can change her Edward'. It won't kill her. In fact she will live forever.' I considered it. But she is the most innocent, fragile and pure soul I have ever seen. I can't take it from her. No. It is worse than killing her.

"NO." I turned to look at the girl. She was leaning over the same tree I pinned her to. She has controlled her tears by now. But she was still shaking, out of cold or fear I don't know. I suppose both.

"What? You will neither kill her nor change her? What are you thinking Edward? Do you want us to get killed? She knows too much Edward."

"It is not much Tanya. She doesn't exactly know."

"Are you crazy? She doesn't know exactly but we have given her enough to speculate the truth for herself. If you don't trust me use read her mind." Now she mentions it, I realised I didn't hear a single thing from her mind. I turned my head to her. She was looking at us with a shocked curiosity. Sure she wasn't faint. But her mind was silent. I concentrated hard, but there wasn't anything. "Edwarddddddddddddddddd!" Tanya shouted, shaking me. "What the hell are you thinking? You can't get out this. She can't leave this place. If she tells someone what she saw here, we will be killed by the volturi"

"I, I won't. Won't tell. Any..one"

"Not likely. Edward you sure hear her. You know it."

"I can't hear her." my voice was very different. I saw the confused expression in her face.

"What are you talking about?"

"I couldn't hear her mind Tanya. It is silent."

"She is not dead. You don't think I am that foolish."

"No Tanya. I can't truly hear anything"

"All the more reason to kill her."

"No.." I didn't think about that. I am a fool.

"Think Edward. She knows too much and you can't hear her mind so we won't know whether she will keep her word. You can't possibly expect me to let her go now."

"That is exactly what I want from you Tanya. She won't pay for our mistake"

"Our mistake? What is our mistake in this Edward?"

"What is our mistake? It is not her fault that we feel thirsty because of her. What is the worst crime she did? Walked in the road and got tripped? Does that deserve death or eternity with damned soul? No Tanya. I won't let that happen. She doesn't deserve it." I don't know why I got so angry. I wanted to protect that girl. "It is our fault and I am not letting her pay for that."

"It is our fault? How it is our fault that we are designed that way? How you say it is wrong to go along with the very basic instinct of yours. It is what we are. You have to accept what you are made of Edward." she shouted at her maximum pitch. I cringed. But never loosened my grip on her.

She is right I have to accept what I am made of. A vampire. Yet that only means my entire existence is wrong not that the girl deserves death or vampire life.

I was about tell Tanya this but she stopped me. "Why do you care so much for this girl Edward? You have killed many humans before. Why do you value her life more than ours? Why do value her more than me? Don't you love me?" she has now started pulling that don't you love me card.

"I want this Edward. I can't let a human be the reason for my death. You love me right? Then you have to do this for me."

I was confused and torn. I have never rejected any of Tanya's wishes. I owe it to her. But I really can't help myself but feel protective over that poor girl. The girl. Now I was reminded, I turned to see how much she got from our talk. She was lying on the mud ground. She has fainted. She looked frozen from the cold. When I saw her all I wanted is to take her somewhere safe. In our 2 years relationship I have never asked Tanya anything for me. For the first time I am going to beg her if needed.

"Tanya please. I love you. I owe you a lot for being with me. But please let this girl go. It goes against every right thing I have ever known to kill her. I will make sure she doesn't open her mouth. If she does open then… then you can have your way. Just give her a chance to live." I pleaded with her.

Her eyes shone with anger. "it is very clear that you don't love me. I am not asking you anything but want you to be yourself. I just want you to accept what you are. You shy away from your real life. You overthink everything and deny yourself all pleasures. How does it make you happy to suffer? And why do you feel bad to be yourself?"

"It is because what I am is wrong Tanya. It is against nature. It is against humanity."

"Edward Anthony Cullen do you call me wrong?"

"No. that is.."

"Stop it Edward you have made it clear. Who is against nature? If everything evolved in this world is by god then he only made us too. Why do you even bother about humanity when you are not even human? I am done with you and your stupidity. You are not fit to be happy Cullen. You don't know to love. You don't know to enjoy. You don't even know to be yourself. "

I couldn't talk. Each word of hers stabbed my heart.

"I already thought about leaving. I am not going to try to love you anymore. Clearly your love lies elsewhere. First your creator and his other creations are important to you. Now this human" she showed that girl like she is a waste.

"I left my parents and siblings for you Tanya. I came with you. How can you doubt me?" I asked through my teeth.

"I don't doubt it anymore Edward. I am not what you want."

"Tanya… no. it is not like that."

"Then what Edward? I loved you from the moment we saw each other." She said she loved me. Is that true? Then isn't it my duty to give her what she wants. I has protected me from loneliness for two years.

"But you don't seem to love me the same way. It is your virtue that is more important to you. I lived my life your way. I started having animal blood. Even though it sucks."

I felt guilty now. I should try more for her. She loves me. I should do it too. "what should I do Tanya?"

"All I asked you is take what you need. Or at least let me have what I need. I don't what to pity humans anymore. If it is their blood that I need then I will have it."

"I need time Tanya. I have been in this life for too long. I can't change it in one day. I will try. I will definitely try for you."

"Try now." She ordered.

I gulped. I still couldn't make myself do that. "Tanya I said I need time. Can't we leave this one human?"

"Why this particular human Edward?"

"I don't know. Please Tanya. I can't sink my teeth in her skin and I beg you not to do that either please. I will drink the blood of human monsters. I won't stop you from what you want. Even if I have to run all over the world for those idiots I will do that for you. Please not innocent souls. Especially not this fragile one."

"Especially?" she raised her perfect eyebrows. Then it dawned on me. She doubts me.

"Tanya. She is a human"

"You don't love her?" I didn't know why I care about that girl but I am in love with Tanya.

"I am not in love with her Tanya. How can you even think like that"?

"Are you sure Edward?"

"Yes"

Then leave her and come with me. I know what she is planning. That girl won't stand a chance to live in this freezing temperature. We have to take her somewhere soon to keep her alive. I looked up at Tanya. "If you want me to be with you then come with me otherwise I am going to kill the girl right now."

I was frozen. I can easily beat Tanya but I can't hurt her. I can try to stop her but she will get numerous chance to kill that girl. Just a jump over her or a swipe can do it. Even if I manage to stop her how long will we doing. By that time she would have died freezing. I didn't have anyway. I went with Tanya. When we went out of those woods we saw a man robbing in the nearby area. It was night and no one saw him. Tanya raised her eyebrows at me. But I am not in mood to hunt. I shook my head. She went without a word.

I have to do something about the girl. I ran silently. After I reached a distance that Tanya can't hear me, I called a number I never thought to call. I called from the local booth so that he won't know who called him. I called Sam the local police officer. I told him I was a hiker and I saw a girl in the mid of the woods. I was injured so I couldn't carry her and begged him to save her.

I am not sure whether he believed me or will he take the efforts to save her. I just whished he will with all my might.

I turned and was shocked to see Tanya standing behind me. We went to the house silently. Once we got inside she spoke. "I had a good hunt"

"oo.. that's good. Did that robber had allies?" her eyes shown bright red.

"No. but the family he was robbing saw me drinking his blood so I killed them too." I shuddered.

"So you decided to save that girl?" I didn't speak. She didn't stop looking at me. "I am sorry Tanya but I couldn't help myself"

"Fine Edward." fine? I didn't expect this.

"I am leaving. I don't belong here anymore."

"No. please.."

"Are you ready for human blood? "She asked with her brows raised. "Tanya I told I will try."

"Ok Edward I will give you a year. If you can be a normal vampire then we can be together else no. and till then don't try to contact me."

"Tanya.."

"No Edward we have to do this. I have to think about us. We need to take a break. If you are able to accept what yourself then we will see." With that she left.

I didn't move. I have tried to the best of my abilities to be there for her as she wants and as she wishes. She tried to change for me even though she didn't like it. Now it is my turn to try for her. The problem is what she asks is completely against everything I have held on to all these days.

I came out of that memory. It is all I did the past year. I tried to be what she wanted but all I got when I tried to hunt humans is the image of that girl in my head.

A/N: Hi. Thank you for reading my story. Kindly review plssssssss. Every review you give is highly valuable to me. This is my first attempt in writing so your views will help me a lot on my path.

I assure you from next chapter it will be even more interesting and more to do with Edward and Bella.

Thanks once again and love you all. Don't forget to review