Author's Note: So this one-shot is canon to 2x14 or 2x12, not really sure. So as I explained in the last author's note, this song has a really personal connection to Spoby for me, so I had some fun writing this one-shot. Don't forget to tell me what you think!
Day Twenty-Seven: He Won't Go by Adele
"You'll be better off without him."
That's what anyone in my family would say.
But they didn't know him like I did. They just knew that lie that everyone made up about him. They didn't know him like I did.
Or at least, how I thought I did.
I was left alone in my living room that night. Melissa was in Philadelphia, while my mother and father were in New York for some convention thing.
The house phone rang. I ignored it completely. I really didn't want to be bothered. I ran upstairs to my room.
I tried focusing on homework, but it was made increasingly difficult by the piece of blue cotton that kept taunting me inside my closet. I kept glaring at it, but I knew that wouldn't make it go away.
I heard the door open downstairs and I felt myself break into a cold sweat.
"Spencer?"
I breathed a heavy sigh of relief when Aria and Hanna rounded the corner, replete with Chinese food.
"What the hell? We called you like five times telling you we were on our way over," Aria announced as Hanna sat on the bed, moving some pillows to sit.
I sighed. "I'm sorry. I just haven't felt like talking to anyone."
"Spence, you really need to snap out of it. It's already been two weeks since you and Toby broke up," Hanna said.
It stung hearing her say that. What was worse was hearing that it was only two weeks since it all happened; it felt like a lifetime ago.
I sighed. "I know, but…I just keep thinking over and over if there's something I could've done to stop this whole situation."
"How do you stop A?" Aria inquired.
"I broke his heart," I said finally.
Aria put the Chinese food down on my desk. She and Hanna tried to comfort me, Aria by holding my hand, and Hanna by stoking my unkempt hair.
"Spence, I'm sure you—"
"He told me he loved me, Hanna," I answered sharply.
Aria pursed her lips. "Are you worried he won't still love you if you tell him the truth?"
I opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words. Instead, I just shrugged.
Toby had been calling me nonstop for about a week after he tried to gift me with the rocking chair.
To be honest, I was scared to death to talk to him about any of this. I was so scared that if I spoke to him, he would go back to hating me and reject me. I wouldn't be able to handle that. I would break if he rejected me.
I was walking home from school when I noticed Toby was following me. I just realized how stupid of an idea it was to walk past Emily's house.
"Spencer, wait!" he called out.
My throat went dry and I had to stop dead in my tracks. It broke my heart to hear his voice sound so…hollow and desperate.
I turned around, barely able to face him. I was hoping that it would be as painless and quick as possible, but I somehow knew that by the end of this conversation, my heart would likely be broken.
My heart was already cracking. He looked so different…so empty and unhappy. He looked so broken. I probably looked just the same.
"Toby…I can't talk right now," I said, trying to avoid any and all conversation.
"Spencer, wait," he urged as he grabbed my arm.
I didn't pull away, but I stood back reluctantly. I stood and crossed my arms, staring at him, waiting for him to say more.
"Spencer, I just need to talk to you," he pleaded.
"There's nothing more for us to say," I insisted, trying to leave again.
"Spencer, I don't care what you can't tell me. I can't cope with knowing you left because you can't trust me. I just want to know why. I want to know if I could fix it," he said as he grabbed my hand.
I didn't want to pull away. But I knew I couldn't do this to either of us. "Toby, I can't. Not now. Believe me, I don't want you to remember us like this, but…I…I can't," I said before pulling my hand from his and running down the street.
I waited until I turned the corner to start bursting into tears.
Please don't chase after me. Don't make this harder than it needs to be.
I knew I couldn't abandon faith completely. Like he said, we always had a choice. But I needed to know what the safest thing for him would be. Even if I couldn't be without him, I wasn't about to be selfish and put his life at risk.
I closed my eyes, forcing out all the tears I had left. Emily stroked my hair comfortingly.
"I don't know what to do, Em. He won't go."
Emily sighed. "I know, Spence. Of course, he won't. He doesn't know about any of this. And I genuinely believe that you two were in love, Spencer," she told me.
I sniffled. "I don't want to do this anymore, Emily. I'm so sick of all of this. I just…I don't want to deal with things anymore," I cried.
"You have to take the good times with the bad ones," she advised me. "There are going to be times you want nothing more than to give it up and you'll be so overwhelmed with stress and sadness that you just want to fall apart, but you can't. You're so much better than that," Emily said to me.
I looked up at her with red eyes. "Really?"
"Spencer, if there's one person who I think can overcome A, it's you," she told me. "You and Toby are going to make it through this. You're both as stubborn as bulls. It's annoying at times, but I think that's part of the reason you guys were so great together," she commented. "If anything, you should use him as a reason to stop A," she advised me.
I looked up at Emily with a newfound hope in my eyes.
"You're really smart, Emily," I said softly. "I won't give up," I decided finally.
NewEnglandMuggleGirl: Thank you very much!
AL3110: And I'm your FanFiction soulmate, right? Tell me how things went with your soulmate ;)
eveningshades1107:That was not even close to what I was thinking of, but whatever works for you. Oh, you and your overactive imagination. I'm sitting here with my grandma, helping her pack. We're debating whether her four pairs of socks are a really, really dark blue or black. I say that there's two blue and two black, if you're curious. And now she blames me because she doesn't have a battery for her watch. Hmm...when you put it like that, it makes Samara look pretty awful. I don't quite remember it that way, but I can barely remember what happened in Season 3 of Pretty Little Liars and what I had for dinner yesterday night. I actually liked her jewelry, but all my jewelry either sucks or is really uncomfortable. I do have these two pairs of earrings, though, that I really love which I made. They're basically the same in different colours, but whatever. Oh, and now my grandma is blaming me for making her almost forget her deodorant and toothbrush and toothpaste and all the essentials.
I'm watching Dance Moms as I type this. Don't judge me.
But seriously, Chloe is my favorite. She's just so sweet and kind of a nerd like me, but younger and prettier and a better dancer and sweeter and everything better. She's just too cute.
Anyways, my next one-shot will be, drumroll, please...Gone by Lianne La Havas. In case you don't know what song that is, it's been featured on PLL twice: once during Spoby's really awesome scene in 3x02 and again when Spencer carved Toby's name on his mother's crypt (because the two scenarios are just so similar).
Okay, so I'm kind of on a roll here (I spent like three hours writing a theory about Shadow Play and uploaded it on Tumblr today, I wrote a one-shot about Spoby based on Valentine's Day, I am updating this story, and I'm about to update Everything Has Changed...tear). I would really, really love it if I got some feedback, maybe? I don't have a Valentine, if that makes you pity me and will get you to give me some feedback.
And also, on a related note, please check out my Valentine's Day Spoby one-shot! It's called "Maybe It's Fate" because I literally had no freaking clue what to call it. Stop judging me. -Kayson