Chapter 19: Forever

A deer. He had been talking to a deer. This wasn't Shikamaru anymore. He was a mindless animal now. He could no longer recall ever being human. His words, even if he understood what was said, didn't make any sense to him now. If he couldn't recall being human then he also couldn't recall Naruto or anything they ever did. Anything they had done wrong or right. Anything that needed to be said to lift the curse.

"Shikamaru." Naruto tried to get him to think. He had to get the real Shikamaru's attention. "Please, Shikamaru. Please come back. It's me. Please."

It was no use. Shikamaru paid him no mind while he ate. He only glanced up once in a while to look at him blankly then went back to grazing.

Naruto sat in the grass feeling so helpless.

Birds began to chip, signaling dawn's arrival. They were too late.

"Shikamaru..." This was it. He would never again get to speak with his friend. He may even try to kill him now. He had to get away from him but something was holding him back. It was the thought of this being the last time they would ever speak to each other. Soon it would be nothing but growls and bellows. They wouldn't understand anything in the human tongue anymore. Or remember being human.

Naruto had to say something while he still remembered his friend. Some parting words.

"Shikamaru... I'm so sorry. For what it's worth now, I'm so, so sorry. If I hadn't lost it and attacked you, you wouldn't have gotten scared and run off. It's my fault. It's all my fault." Naruto hung his head and tears started to form in his eyes. "I promised you I wouldn't leave you again but I did. I did leave you. And when I did... I hurt you. You're my friend. I never want to hurt you. I'm so sorry for that. I'm sorry for everything."

If only he hadn't lost it and bitten him. He lost himself and because of that...

"I'm so sorry, Shikamaru," he said tearfully. "I should have just listened to you in the first place. I couldn't keep my promise. I should have tried harder. I should have listened to you then and I should have listened to you on the mission. I'm sorry. I truly am."

Naruto's headband slipped off his head and fell to the ground at his feet. His skull had changed shape and could no longer support it. It didn't matter anymore. He wasn't a ninja. Not anymore.

"I should have listened to you. You were right. I did disobey on purpose. I thought I was doing the right thing in saving that girl. I should have done what you said. I shouldn't have made you come with me and left the others. I never think. I just act. I made the wrong call. You were right and I was wrong. I'm sorry." Naruto's tears fell to the grass. "You're my friend and I owe it to you. I should have trusted you and knew you had everything under control. You're my friend and I don't want to lose you. I don't want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you! Shikamaru, I'm so, so very sorry! I'm sorry for everything."

All this time, he thought he had things under control. He thought he was making the right choices. Maybe it was all a part of the curse. The call of the wild was luring him away from humans and everything they had to offer. To make him long to be away from them and living in the wild. To make him desire life among the trees and grass. To make him feel more natural there and trap him. Trap him in surroundings that would increase his beastliness. It all made sense. When he lived in nature, he became more animal-like. All along, it had been luring him away, making it easier for the curse to take its effect. Giving him desires that would cause him to leave everyone behind and become a beast.

He had been with Shikamaru all this time, but he was so far away from him as well. Even when he was right beside him, he was far away, lost in the curse. That was why he attacked. He was too far gone. Even now, when he looked at Shikamaru, he knew just how far away he was. He wasn't here anymore and soon neither will he.

"I'm sorry, Shikamaru. I'm sorry."

A new feeling came over him. It was hard to think. He couldn't remember why he was here or what he had been saying. When he looked at Shikamaru, all he saw was a deer. The feeling grew stronger and darker. It was something terrible and strange. A feeling that filled him and obscured his fondness and any memory of his friend. There was some recollection but nothing more than that. He felt different. Like he was slipping away. This feeling was very different from his lapses. It was like being pulled into his own body. Into a deep dark ocean he was drowning in, losing himself completely while something else took over. Something that felt alien yet familiar and comfortable at the same time.

Something natural and beastly.

And just like that, Naruto slipped away and was gone.

Shikamaru lifted his head and swallowed the grass in his mouth. Another lapse. He couldn't remember anything for he didn't know how long. It must have been several minutes. His nose twitched, catching a familiar scent. He caught of a glimpse of the fox before him, headband at its feet, and his heart sank.

"N... Naruto..?"

The fox lifted its head, its yellow eyes gleaming dangerously at him. The fox opened its mouth and made several soft huffs and barks, unable to speak human language. It wasn't human. Not anymore.

Shikamaru felt sick. Naruto had changed into a full fox. He couldn't even understand what he was saying. He looked nothing like the boy he knew. If it weren't for the headband decorated with the village's symbol, he would have assumed it was a normal fox from the wild. This was Naruto? This is what had become of his friend? He felt as if cold insects had slipped under his skin and were crawling up his back, biting his nerve endings.

Timidly, Shikamaru's head turned to examine his surroundings. They were in the woods again, surrounded by trees and grass. They were no longer in the village. That was the last place Shikamaru remembered being. Now he was here. How long had he been in that lapse? How long had it been? The sun was rising, so it must have been morning. They arrived at the village at night. Had his lapse lasted hours rather than a few minutes? How long had he been a deer? Long enough for Naruto to change completely into a fox.

"Naruto. Naruto, it's me. Shikamaru."

Naruto was on his feet, tail wagging from side to side. At first, Shikamaru took this as a promising sign. Then Naruto began to rotate his ears and sniff. He wasn't acting like himself. The yellow eyes told Shikamaru that this was no longer Naruto.

The crawling sensation grew worse. So much so that he wanted to retch. He had suffered a lapse at the worst time. He should have been there to help him. Maybe he could have done something. Naruto's transformation seemed slower when he was with Shikamaru. Maybe he was the one keeping him rooted, slowing the process. Shikamaru felt a similar way about himself. As long as they were together, the process seemed to slow. They knew who they were. They remembered. Their lapses weren't as long.

And one day, they never came back.

Shikamaru remembered the words of the Susumu clan. After a certain amount of time, the victims of the curse lost themselves completely and never came back. They became animals permanently.

Now Naruto was going to be a fox forever. He was just like the crocodiles.

And it was all his fault. Shikamaru couldn't shake the feeling that it was because of him. And now that Naruto was like this, he couldn't make amends for anything he had ever done. He could never give Naruto parting words. He could never take back any of the things he had ever said. Naruto was going to remain a fox without ever knowing how Shikamaru truly felt. Without hearing his apology. He was going to stay this way, thinking it was all because of him that they were cursed. Only, because of the curse, he couldn't remember even that. Still, it was something Shikamaru would have wanted him to know. There was so much he wanted to say.

"Naruto... I'm sorry."

He had to say it, even if Naruto didn't know what was being said.

"I'm sorry, Naruto. I shouldn't have left you alone like that. I ran off after promising myself that I wouldn't do that. I promised I would suppress the animal instincts and I couldn't do it. Not even when you needed me most. I'm so sorry I left you. And you were the one who promised me you wouldn't leave. All along... I was the one who shouldn't have left you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did that."

Naruto sniffed him, coming closer.

"I put too much pressure on you, too. I'm always telling you what you need to do and don't realize what I need to do. This was one of those times. It should have been both of us, not just you. We shouldn't have left each other, not you alone who shouldn't have left me. And this whole mess with our animal selves is my fault. I'm the one who wanted to give in and put the idea in your head. I shouldn't have tempted you. I should have remained focused and tried to keep us going down the same path and not astray. I was being selfish. And lazy, too. I didn't want to fight it anymore and just give in and let it happen. I should have fought it. I'm sorry I didn't try harder. I just couldn't be bothered to try. Too lazy to fight it. I shouldn't have given in."

Naruto came closer, drawn to the blood on Shikamaru's neck. He sniffed at the wound and started to show his teeth.

"I was selfish, Naruto. I was too lazy to be bothered. I wasn't being fair. I did nothing but complain this whole time. Animal or not, there's no excuse. I'm sorry for all that."

Naruto started growling and took a snap at Shikamaru's leg, trying to bite him again. He was hungry and wanted to eat Shikamaru. Shikamaru knew this, but had to finish.

"And, Naruto... It wasn't your fault. It wasn't because of you we failed the mission. I was just angry and said those things. I knew it all along, but I couldn't say it. You were right. You were right to break the rules in order to save that woman. A person's life is more important than some stupid competition. You made the right call. It wasn't your fault. You did the right thing."

Snarling, Naruto leapt at Shikamaru again, snapping at his legs. Shikamaru kept moving, so Naruto couldn't catch him.

"I just wish I told you that before all this. You need to know it. I wanted you to hear it but I was too late." Shikamaru sniffled. "I waited too long. And I'm sorry. I wish you knew just how sorry I am."

He felt so guilty. He pinned too many things on Naruto, many of which weren't his fault. Many they both shared blame. Mostly, he was upset he hadn't told any of this to Naruto while he was still part human. Too many things left unsaid.

There were so many things he would miss now that the curse was complete. He would never see his home again. He would never see Choji again. They had some really good times together. He truly would miss him. He would even miss his parents. He never thought he would want to hear his mother's nagging voice one more time. Mostly, he wanted to return home just to tell her he was the deer she chased out of the house just to see the look on her face. He would miss his father, too. There was so much he still wanted to do with him. He regretted not having more father/son time with him. Not because of the missions, but because of his sheer laziness. He had always accused Ino of being selfish but he was no better! Now he saw it for himself. He realized just how much he was going to miss out on by becoming a deer.

Honestly, he wasn't sure if forgetting that he was ever human in the first place made him feel better or worse about all this. He wouldn't remember why this would be upsetting and may not even be upset.

He was so caught up with the freedom that he didn't realize just how bad this situation was. He didn't want to spend the rest of his life as a deer. He wanted to see his parents again, he wanted to see his teammates again and his friends. He wanted to see his village and his house and his favorite places within those safe walls. He wanted to be a ninja again. He wanted to speak his mind and make his wants known. He didn't want to be a deer. He didn't want to be hunted. He didn't want to be eaten.

Judging from the look on Naruto's face, that was just about to happen.

Shikamaru was in tears. In tears over his loses, his regrets and now the realization that he was about to be devoured by one of his friends. A friend who no longer remembered him or their lives. The one who was always protecting him.

"Maybe I deserve to get eaten by you. Either I've done too much of something or too little. I didn't make the right call during that mission and you did. I blamed you and shamed you and so much else. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, Naruto. I'm sorry! From the bottom of my heart, I am. I just wish you knew it before all this happened. This is all my fault. It wasn't yours, Naruto. It's mine. I did this. If I hadn't gotten so mad at you and said the things that I did maybe none of this would have happened."

Naruto came closer, showing his teeth. He was going to kill him. He was going to eat Shikamaru.

Shikamaru stopped moving out of his path and stood his ground. No more running. "I've made so many bad choices during these past few days. You made a lot of good ones. I wasn't fair to you. I didn't get to tell you these things. And I'm sorry for that. More than you will ever know." He sat on the ground in surrender.

Seeing his chance, Naruto lowered his body, preparing to spring. He took a running start and jumped, mouth agape. Shikamaru shut his eyes tight.

At least he was going to die as a human than an animal.

He felt Naruto's paws on his shoulders and Naruto's hot breath on his neck. His breath quivered, knowing he was going to die. Shikamaru squeezed his eyes tighter and waited for death as the sun crept over the top of the trees at the bottom of the hill.

He wondered what it would be like. He hoped dying wasn't too painful. He hoped it would be quick. He hoped Naruto would finish him off in one bite, tearing into his flesh and making him black out so he wouldn't have to suffer. At least Naruto would live for a little while longer haven eaten him. At least he wouldn't starve. He knew Naruto was a good hunter. He had improved a lot. He would survive. He would get to live until he died of old age or get himself caught in a hunter's trap.

Even if Naruto didn't recognize him or know who he was, Shikamaru was glad he would get to live. He hoped he would be happy living as a fox. At least until he was put down. Shikamaru was glad he wouldn't have to be the one to do it. Naruto would kill him before he had to kill Naruto.

Shikamaru waited in the dark for death to come. Let it happen now while he still knew who he was and what was happening. He squeezed more tears through his closed eyes, terrified and more miserable than he had ever been in his life.

"... Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru gasped. That was Naruto's voice. Had he returned to his senses? Or was his mind playing tricks on him? He pulled back to take a look, opening his eyes wide.

Naruto was sitting in front of him on his knees. And fur free. He was looking at Naruto, the human Naruto. The Naruto he was used to seeing and missed so much. He was dirty and missing his headband but otherwise he was just as he remembered him. No furry ears or fangs or claws. Not even a tail. His tail was missing.

"Naruto?" Shikamaru was in shock. "Is that really..?"

Naruto was staring at him in shock, too. His open mouth started to curve upward into a smile.

Shikamaru looked down. His hooves were gone, replaced by his human hands. He had hands! He reached up and felt the top of his head. No antlers. He felt his face and his chest and his stomach. He was wearing his clothes. The same ones he was wearing when he went to bed after feeling so sick. It was as if it never happened.

But he knew better. He remembered everything they had been through, everything he felt. It was real.

And so was this.

Shikamaru and Naruto looked at each other. Their faces broke into matching open-mouthed smiles and gasped, realizing what this meant.

"I'm human!"

"We're human!"

"I'm me again! I'm back!"

"Yes! We're human again! Both of us!"

"I'm not a deer!"

"Me, too! You know what I mean!"

Overjoyed, Shikamaru dove at Naruto and embraced him. Naruto hugged him back as they both toppled over and rolled in the grass, laughing tearfully. Shikamaru was so relieved he was shedding tears of joy. He had his life back. He wasn't going to spend the rest of his life as a deer and he wasn't going to get eaten. They could go back to their human lives with their human memories, knowing who they really were.

They broke apart and flopped in the grass, still laughing.

"We're normal!" Shikamaru shouted to the ceiling of trees overhead.

"Mostly!" Naruto joined him, calling out to the sky.

Shikamaru picked up a handful of grass and threw it at Naruto's face but the grass never made it that far and fluttered to the ground like green confetti. "You know what I mean. Back to our weird selves takes longer to say. It's troublesome."

They were truly back.

They lay in the grass, panting. It felt good. It felt good to be alive and lay just like this side by side. Being in human company.

No. The company of a friend.

Shikamaru turned his head and smiled at Naruto. Naruto was still looking up at the trees, sprawled out where he lay beside his friend. Between them lay Naruto's fallen headband bearing the symbol of their home. A home they could now return to. Knowing that brought Shikamaru such comfort.

His smile deepened as he watched Naruto's chest heave up and down with every breath. Naruto never did give up. Not on a mission, not on a friend, not on anything he wanted. Naruto was strong in more ways than one. He managed to hold on no matter what. He was always there. Even now he was still here by Shikamaru's side.

Now Shikamaru could say with pride that he wanted to do the same. They managed to go into this mess as two friends who were angry with each other and managed to come out of it and still be friends.

"Naruto."

"Yeah?"

"Next time we're mad at each other, could you come up with a less troublesome way of making up?"

Naruto laughed. "Why? This was pretty fun, wasn't it?"

Shikamaru grinned. "Yeah. Actually. It was kind of fun."

No matter how annoying he was, no matter how foolish he acted or how many times he ignored orders and did his own thing, Shikamaru would still be proud to call him a friend. Naruto was always going to be Naruto. And they were going to always be friends. Forever.

Doesn't this chapter just make you cry then smile?

There's one chapter left. Maybe we'll find out more details about this vague curse.

Please review! ^-^