Sunrise never imagined that she would end up pushing a cart around Kohl's while a god stared skeptically at a pair of jeans. But that morning had made it a necessity when Loki walked out from his shower in nothing more than a towel wrapped around his waist. Sunrise's sanity and work (but mostly her sanity) depended on Loki covering his torso with something. Even now, Sunrise couldn't wipe the image of the mostly-naked god from her mind.
Loki's not so subtle coughing jolted Sunrise from her fantasies and she looked up to see Loki holding out a couple jeans. Sunrise shook herself slightly and put the clothes in the cart before following Loki through the store, uncomfortably aware of the stares that the god attracted to them.
While Loki tried clothes on in the changing room, Sunrise wandered around the store and flicked through a few t-shirts with stupid sayings on them, barely even registering what they said while her mind whirled.
"Um… Excuse me," a voice broke through her thoughts.
Sunrise turned to see a young blonde with jean shorts and a crop top surrounded by a brunette and another blonde whose roots were showing through the dye.
Sunrise raised an eyebrow, "Can I help you?"
"Yeah, are you like, dating that guy?" The dyed blonde speaks up.
Sunrise fights back the urge to laugh, "No, I—"
"Good," the head blonde speaks up. "Because I was about to start pitying the poor guy."
Sunrise rears back the tiniest bit, "What? That doesn't make any sense."
The dyed blonde responds, "Yeah, it does. Any guy that gets stuck with a freak like you deserves to be pitied."
The brunette takes a step forward, "I don't even know why we thought he might be dating someone like you."
Sunrise barely hears her, her head is ringing with one word. A word that echoes through her head the same way it always does. A word that she can never escape it seems, no matter how far away she runs. The blonde's voice echoes in her head, becoming distorted as other voices join her in chanting "Freak" over and over again.
Sunrise glares at the trio, imagining a knife being shoved into the blonde's gut. Her mouth would bubble with blood as her eyes widened comically. Sunrise forces a crooked smile easily. Letting one side of her mouth travel higher than the other as she widens her eyes slightly to make them seem slightly crazed. She tilts her head down and stares up through her lashes.
Sunrise starts forcing a laugh for a moment. The girls paused for a second and looked between themselves briefly in confusion. Sunrise stops laughing abruptly and takes a step into the personal space of the lead blonde whom she had dubbed 'Regina'.
Sunrise tilts her head as she speaks, "I suggest you bitches start running with your tails between your legs." She lifts her head to stare at the other blonde, "Because I don't take kindly to being called names." Sunrise steps back and smiles at the girls, "Mmkay?"
The girls back away and start walking off. The 'Regina' pauses briefly to turn back and call, "Psycho bitch!"
Sunrise scowls heavily at the girls before turning, only to yelp and jump back as Loki steps out from behind a rack, glaring at the retreating girls before staring down at Sunrise.
"And what, exactly, was that?" Loki asks, his voice low and ominous.
Sunrise pauses, anxiety rising up in her chest and forcing her throat closed. Her mind instantly whirling to find lies and escape routes. Sunrise's eyes darted briefly to the side before snapping back to Loki as he grabs her chin and forces her to face him.
Loki opens his mouth to speak, but Sunrise cuts him off by saying, "It's nothing. I'm fine. Let's go!" Loki narrows his eyes and Sunrise pulls out of his grip and starts walking toward the check-out. "Let's go check out and head back home; I bet the animals are going crazy."
The entire time Sunrise chats to the cashier and pays, Loki stands behind her and stares at the back of her head, earning him more than one wary glance from the people around them. By the time Sunrise and Loki are on their way back to the cottage, not only has Sunrise's throat closed up, but her chest has begun to hurt and she feels almost as though she is starting to shake herself apart. These feelings are compounded by the fact that Loki does not stop staring at her for a moment.
Sunrise glances at Loki out of the corner of her eye, only to stare back at the road determinedly when she meets Loki's eyes. She tries for a moment to relax, but immediately tenses back up when she imagines the intensity of Loki's gaze burning into the side of her head.
"STOP STARING AT ME! I can't think and I feel like I'm going to fall apart right now. Those girls were just being grade-A bitches and I overreacted, no big deal. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—" Sunrise screamed inside her head, the words coming like mallets that attempted to break her into pieces.
Her grip tightened on the steering wheel and she felt like crying in relief when her driveway came into view. Loki's stare turned into confused concern as Sunrise's breathing got heavier and more erratic. He turned his gaze to her neck and was surprised to see the tension there, her heart beating so rapidly that he could almost see the pulse in her throat.
Sunrise threw the car into park and wrenched the door open, sprinting towards the house as Loki climbed out of the car and stared after her. Loki walked towards the house swiftly; concerned, but unwilling to run and look like an anxious idiot— he had been raised better than that.
Sunrise ignored the barking of Dusk and Lupa and sprinted into her room, slamming the door shut and locking it behind her. She stumbled toward the nightstand by her bed and yanked a drawer open. She picked a tiny object out of it and stared at it for a while, falling to the ground and gasping for air.
"Why am I freaking out?" Sunrise muttered, cradling the object in her hands as she spoke to herself. "He was staring at me! And? What else? Those girls… reminded me of… you-know-who. I know, sweetheart, but is that really a valid reason for this? You haven't seen her in ages and you probably never will again. It hurts! Just make it shut up!" A knock on the door startled Sunrise and she stared at it, jumping slightly.
"Sunrise, unlock the door and let me in," Loki's voice called. Sunrise shook her head and opened her mouth, no noise making it out however. Loki's voice comes from behind the door again, "Sunrise, let me in. Tell me what's going on!"
Sunrise clenches her hands, gasping as the tiny razor blade she's been holding cuts into her palm, but ignoring it in favour of covering her ears with her clenched fists. Sunrise begins to murmur the lyrics of a song, her voice so soft, it was a cross between singing and desperate whispering. Her voice shakes and she flinches as she feels blood leak down the right side of her face from the cut on her palm.
Sunrise lets out a tiny shriek when hands pull her fists away and unclench her bleeding hand. Sunrise stares up at Loki's emotionless face as he picks up the blade and tosses it to the side, examining her palm before looking at her. Sunrise flinches and glances away.
Loki stood and walked away, kicking the blade further out of Sunrise's reach as he did so. As Loki walked out of the room in silence, Sunrise fell onto her side and curled inwards, replacing her hands over her ears as tears slip out of her eyes while she squeezes them shut. Inside her head, Sunrise imagines that she is screaming, letting the sound rip out of her throat for all to hear. But in truth, when Loki walks back into the room with a first aid kit located under the sink, she is laying prone on her side, staring at nothing and everything.
Loki kneels down in front of Sunrise and pulls her hands away from her ears once again. He then proceeds to pull the woman into a sitting position. Sunrise continues to stare at the wall behind while making tiny whimpering sounds, not unlike the ones heard from a wounded animal.
Loki bends down close, forcing Sunrise to look at him before he speaks, "Stop wallowing in self-pity and focus." Sunrise's eyes focus almost instantly, widening in shock at Loki's callous words. "Give me your hand," Loki orders, holding his own out imperiously.
Sunrise lays her injured hand in his and watches in wonder as he cleans it. She winces and attempts to twist away as he uses an alcohol wipe, only for Loki to tighten his grip and glare at her until she stops. Loki's hands are warily gentle as he wraps a bandage around her palm and ties it off.
Sunrise yelps as Loki picks her up effortlessly and sets her on her bed, sitting down in front of her as she scrambles backwards into the pillows and curls her knees into her chest. Sunrise wraps her arms around her legs and sets her head on them, sniffling quietly.
Loki stares at Sunrise for a moment, his face carefully guarded against emotion before he speaks. "Are you going to tell me just what that was?"
Sunrise looks at Loki, her face the exact opposite of his— raw with emotion and vulnerability. She looks down at her bandaged hand before touching it gently.
"Why?"
"Why what, Sunrise? Answer my question," Loki's voice was slowly growing harsher, and Sunrise flinched back in response to it, making no other movements after that. Seeing that he would get no response from the near catatonic girl, Loki answered her question, "You were bleeding all over the floor. You're no use to me if you're unconscious from blood loss."
"I'm sorry," was Sunrise's only response. "You were never meant to see that. Thank you for…" Sunrise trails off and raises her bandaged hand pointedly. Sunrise's voice is surprisingly strong and her visage shockingly calm when she says, "I'd really appreciate it if you'd leave me alone for a little bit, I need some time to think, Loki."
"Time to think, or time to cut your other hand open?" Loki's eyes narrow suspiciously.
Sunrise looks up at Loki in shock, her mouth falling open slightly. Her eyes dart over Loki's face frantically before her jaw clenches and she grits her teeth, nostrils flaring as her nose scrunches up.
"Get out," Sunrise forces out between clenched teeth.
"Excuse me—"
"You heard me. Get the hell out of here," Sunrise barked. When Loki made no move to leave, she screeched, "Get out! I don't want you here!"
Loki lunged forward slightly, his hand coming to clutch under her jaw, not enough to cut off her air supply, but tight enough to show that he could if he so choose. Sunrise's eyes widen and her hands come up to clutch Loki's arm, not making any attempt to pull his hand away, but just holding it there.
"I am not going to leave when you are in danger of hurting yourself. So you'd better get that through your thick mortal skull, Sunrise. Now, I suggest you tell me exactly what you were thinking when you decided it would be a good idea to gouge open your palm," Loki growled, his face so close to Sunrise's that she could feel his hot breath wash over her face.
"I don't know," Sunrise's voice is barely a whisper and, had Loki not had the hearing of an Asgardian, he would have needed to lean in closer to hear.
"Well try," Loki replies, pausing briefly as Sunrise's eyes begin to glitter with tears. "Please."
"I'm a freak and a monster," was the reply that caused Loki to jerk back and release Sunrise, who curls back into herself.
When Loki recovers, he leans back in and pulls Sunrise's face out of her knees. "What could possibly make you a monster or a freak?"
Sunrise pulls away from Loki and stares at a spot on the wall behind Loki's shoulder. "Bad things happen around me. I don't mean to and I don't try… but those around me get hurt."
"How so?'
"When I was little, I had a puppy. I was playing with him outside and I got distracted. Next thing I know, he's lying dead in the road. I caught my boyfriend in college sleeping with my best friend. Next week, he's gotten into a car accident. And…" Sunrise broke off suddenly, surprising both of them when she gasps out a sob.
Loki leans in slightly, "And…" he prompts.
Sunrise bites her lip, struggling against a block in her throat that threatens to choke her. "Fiancé," she forces out. "My fiancé and I had a fight a couple months before our wedding. I can't even remember what it was about, but it was bad. The next day, the bank that he was at got robbed… he died." Sunrise is crying in full force now, "The last thing I ever said was that I wished he had never proposed. His family blamed me. He died because I got in a fight with him. It's always my fault."
Sunrise's voice is quiet, Loki has leaned forward throughout her story and cups her face in one hand, looking at her with an expression that Sunrise can't bother to puzzle out. Then Loki pulls Sunrise into his arms and holds her tight, not saying anything as her crying turns into outright bawling.
"I'm a monster," Sunrise forces out between sobs.
Loki jerks back and glares down at Sunrise, grasping her shoulders and shaking her briefly once.
"No you aren't," Loki barks forcefully. "I have seen monsters, I know what they look like and you are most certainly not one of them. I don't ever want to hear you call yourself that again, do you hear me?"
Sunrise stares at Loki before leaning forward and collapsing into his arms, allowing her head to rest on his chest while Loki cradles her. She nods into his chest and Loki holds her for what feels like hours, until her crying subsides and her breathing evens out into the long, slow breaths of sleep. Loki lays her down on the bed and shoos the dogs out of the room before closing the door behind him.
He walks into the living room and notices a book laying open on the floor. Picking it up, Loki sees that it is a book on Ancient Nordic mythology. He smiles as he sits down on the sofa to read it, absentmindedly stroking the cat that jumps onto the couch to curl up next to the god. Throughout Sunrise's nap, Loki pays only half attention to the book and cat, the rest of it devoted to any and all sounds coming out of Sunrise's room.
AN: I know that this is a tiny bit late... sorry, I had a really crazy busy day. In other news, I just wanted to warn you guys that the next chapter might be a little late because I'm moving! Yay -_- Basically my dad decided that it would be a good idea to move us to Tokyo... because that's totally what normal people do. :P So I move this Saturday and I haven't had time to finish Chapter Five with all of the packing and preparation and writer's block derived from the fact that every time I sit down to try and write, I end up writing about things that have absolutely no place in the story. :( Anyway, I've kept you long enough, so now I'll let you get back to your regularly scheduled lives. I just wanted to warn you beautiful people. Thank you for reading! :)