Author's Note: This is my one (and probably only) attempt at writing something even REMOTELY similar to smut (but I know it's most definitely not smut because it's not dirty or explicit and I don't even think I used the word "bra" at all in this piece (and authors who write real smut most definitely use that word...and euphemisms to describe...various body parts).
Day Thirty-Nine: Our First Time by Bruno Mars
She looked up from her own book for the thousandth time. He was just so distracting, even if he was caught up in his own book.
She realized—and became very frustrated—when she realized that she had just read the same sentence about twelve times.
But her thoughts just raced at about ten million miles a minute. Her biggest question was whether or not anything was going to happen between them. She knew she was the one who suggested waiting but…she had changed her mind quickly. She kind of wished he would just say something or do something and make the first move.
"Toby? Can we…talk about something?" she asked nervously as she dog-eared the page.
He looked up from his book. "Sure, Spence. What is it about?"
She sat up in her bed. She smoothed out the duvet beside her to invite him to sit next to her. He got up and sat there, rubbing her on the back before she began to speak. She wanted to blush a little from the contact. It was as if he already knew before she even started speaking.
"What is it like having sex?" she asked.
He was a bit surprised by her question. "Spence—"
"No, I really want to know. I mean…I'm going to have it eventually and I'd like to know what I'm in for," she added timidly.
He sighed, thinking of how to explain it. "It's…it's not that fun like in all the books and movies and everything. At least…it wasn't for me. But the only times I've ever had sex, I was with someone I didn't love. If I were to have sex with you…I'd probably enjoy it a lot more."
She blushed slightly at that description. She finally just took his hands. "So why don't we just do it?" she asked. "I want to know what it's like."
"Spencer, are you sure you're not doing this for some other reason? I don't want to pressure you into—"
"It's not pressure if I want to do it," she insisted. "And I want to. I love you…and I want to," she repeated.
He nodded. She kissed him. It was innocent and chaste at first, but it grew more heated and intimate.
She got butterflies in the pit of her stomach every time he touched her and every time he whispered sweet nothings into her ear.
"Don't worry about anything, Spencer; just relax," he whispered, his lips brushing against her ear softly. She got shivers down her spine.
She just nodded as he achingly slowly took off their clothes, leaving kisses up and down her neck, her face, and her cheek.
She could hardly remember what happened after that. The next thing she knew was that they were under the covers and he was gently reassuring her right before anything really happened.
"Are you ready? Are you okay?"
She nodded, still not knowing whether to breathe or hold her breath.
She felt intense pain at first. He saw her expression and realized how much pain she was in.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, nervous that he had hurt her.
She shook her head. "No, no, no, Toby. Don't," she insisted.
He just looked at her before kissing her cheek. He slowly moved down to her neck. She began to realize the pleasure the act had as she let out a soft moan. He began nipping at her neck. She moaned again, louder this time. She almost sounded hurt.
"Are you alright?" he inquired again.
She realized just how sweet he was and let out a small laugh. "I'm fine, Toby. Just…don't stop," she asked.
He nodded. A minute or two later, she finally realized what people were talking about when they said it was one of the best natural highs one could experience.
Ten minutes later, he was kissing her cheek, neck, and shoulder as she thought about what just happened. She couldn't believe something she had never experienced before could be…
Her thoughts drifted. He could tell. "What are you thinking about?"
She turned to face him. "I'm just thinking about how…you're the most loving and caring guy I've ever met," she said quietly to him.
He just held her closer. "I love you," he whispered.
"I love you, too."
They kissed each other as he began to play with her hands.
"Where are your parents?"
A small smile crossed her face. "They're in New York for the next week and a half. Melissa is at her apartment in Philly," she answered happily. "Are you doing anything later?" she asked as she pulled away from him so she could get a better look at him.
He shook his head. "You can have me for the whole night," he told her happily.
She smiled to herself. "Well, now that I've discovered how great sex is," she began, "there's a whole lot of things I have planned for later." She climbed on top of him, placing her hands on the nape of his neck. After a moment of staring at him, she kissed him on the lips. "But in the meantime, I'm really hungry. Does sex make you hungry?" she asked.
He laughed at her confused expression. "Sometimes, Spence."
Her shoulders dropped as she thought about it. He just laughed. "Come on, Spencer. We can go get Chinese food from your favorite place in town," he said as he got out of bed. He dragged her out by the hand.
This one was relatively longer, but I hope you enjoyed (because it was very painful writing).
Addictedtospoby:You call it a talent. I call it a...sometimes cursed asset. I don't know. Sometimes I can't sleep as well because of my writing. Like, my mind always wanders to my writing, no matter what (like I drift off during math class and think about the Red trilogy [which I really hope Stay Stay Stay will be up soon, but I'm stumbling over the prologue and I will need my readers' help in writing the threequel] and my webshow and this one-shot collection and a bunch of other stuff). And I constantly have to be writing something, even if it's just lyrics. It keeps my mind from wandering too much. It's bad. I missed you too! I'm sure that's possible and I'm sure you are. I'm high, too. ON LIFE.
AL3110: I don't think so! I also really liked the last one. I thought it was good and deep and earnest in a very creepy, morbid way. I might have a few more one-shots like this, but I don't know.
MizzIsTheFizz:I've read smut before (and while some of it actually fulfills its purpose, most of it is just cheesy and cringe-worthy and utterly poorly written and out of character [sorry, some smut writers] because the writers tend to just make it about sex. Like, yeah, in some situations, the character probably doesn't even care that much about the person they're having sex with, but you don't have to mention...that and say weird things I'm pretty sure only porn stars say. Excuse me, adult film stars). I never really wrote it. This really isn't smut. I mean, I've written stuff like this before, too. It's really just implicit sex. It's not like...that.
eveningshades1107: I have this newfound deep appreciation for Macbeth, easily my favorite Shakespearean tragedy, as well. And Lady Macbeth, of course. I think she's the best female in Shakespearean lit (sorry, Cleopatra; I thought Lady Macbeth was better). And I was fangirling inside (don't know if I mentioned this to you) because my teacher had me read as Lady Macbeth. Like two days ago, we did the sleepwalk scene and I think my class thought I was crazy because I was laughing afterwards. I was just really excited and they mentioned something about "needing God" and I just thought of this really funny gif of someone saying, "Excuse me, Lord; you need Jesus. Like now". I'm dying. But Lady Macbeth is really the best. And I love the use of dichotomy in that play. It's just great (and obviously you got the fair is foul and foul is fair reference). I have more BM in...probably like a week! And then I have a few more songs by him. I don't know when those are, yet.
I'm sorry, I really have nothing great to add because I've just been in this state of delirium all day (I guess deliria since I'm a girl; I think this is a 1st/2rd declension adjective, so delirium, delirious, deliria. No, I don't think this is really latin, but whatevs. I can decline all day long).
I'm gonna go eat chocolate chip muffins and pray I don't gain weight because I've already felt like blah all day (even though I didn't eat lunch and apparently Kayson is human repellent).
I'm going to tell you the story today to make you feel bad for me. Really, it's kind of sad.
So my one and literally only friend at my school had an advisory party today so he wasn't at lunch. I just sat down (because I really hate waiting on lines) and started playing a really stupid game on my iPhone (#productplacement). I swear, everyone had gotten lunch and there are like four tables on the side of the cafeteria I was sitting at. I swear to god, nobody even sat at the same table. Like, I get maybe not sitting next to me or anything, that's fine; whatever, I'd probably do the same thing. But not sitting at the same freaking table? That's sad. Like, even for me. And my whole life is pretty much sad.
Everyone asks me, why don't you think people at your school like you? Well, that's the reason. Note it, internet friends, since you are the only friends I have (besides like five friends who don't go to my school). I swear, my life is sad. I'm so goth I'm dead. Not really. But I sincerely...can't. I hate being the outcast. how do I stop being the outcast?
*Sighs* well, now that I'm done discussing my tragic experiences with lunch time (oh, sob, Taylor Swift, girls wouldn't sit with you at lunch. Well guess what? NOBODY would sit with me at once. And it wasn't because of my freaking hair like you claim your issues were about), I might as well tell you what the next one-shot will be.
So Small by Carrie Underwood and I actually already finished writing it, but I'm not quite sure what to make of it. -Kayson