Sorry I haven't updated in forever. I've been busy.
This chapter was requested by faithfulviewer and was quite interesting to write. I hope you like it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Eleventh Doctor: Ponds! Rivwr! Lopk! I've figurwd out how to start a groyp chat!
River: Great job, sweetie. Now you just have to learn how to spell.
Doctor: I can't figurr out how to type on this screwn. It's so tiny.
Amy: I think it's more a case of, 'your hands are too big'.
Doctor: I'll just have to start typing really slowly.
Doctor: But did you see?! I figured out how to start a group chat!
Amy: Yep, I think we got that. Rory, did you get that?
Rory: Yeah.
Rory: Ames, I'm at the store. What do you want me to get?
Doctor: Oooh, have they got bowties? I need a new one.
Rory: ... It's a grocery store.
Doctor: Oh.
Doctor: Well, how about some fish fingers and custard, then?
Rory: Um... no.
Amy: Just pick up some beans and salsa. It's tortilla night.
Doctor: Tortilla night? So boring!
Doctor: And beans! BLEURGH! Why beans? You know I hate beans.
Amy: What does your hatred of beans have to do with our tortilla night?
Doctor: I was under the impression that I was invited to your tortilla night.
Amy: Where the hell did you get that impression?
River: Best not to ask that question, Mother. There's no logical answer.
Rory: But I don't remember inviting him.
Doctor: Well, I just thought you'd want to invite me for dinner since you haven't seen me in so long...
Amy: And whose fault is that? You could have come any time before now. It's not our fault you haven't come for three months.
River: Sweetie, I have to agree with her. You've been a little forgetful.
Rory: I second that. Er, third it.
Doctor: What?! Is it my fault that I get distracted so easily?
River: Yes.
Amy: What was it this time, anyway?
Doctor: Well, there was this iguana with two hearts, and I've spent a while trying to figure out if it's from Gallifrey or not.
Amy: I can't believe I'm less important than some lizard.
Doctor: Oh, stop it, Pond. You know that's not true.
Doctor: ...Has it really been three months?
Rory: Yes.
Doctor: Oh.
Doctor: Um... what have you been up to in the last three months, then?
Amy: We've been planting a garden.
Rory: And I got promoted.
Doctor: Ah. Fun. Sort of. Not really.
Doctor: What about you, River?
River: Oh, I've been searching for a gorgeous man with a time machine.
Doctor: Have you?
River: Oh, not you, sweetie. The president of the Scarab galaxy has been wreaking havoc with some sort of time machine he built. I've been hunting him for a while.
Doctor. ...Oh.
River: Although he's not the most gorgeous man I know.
Doctor: Oh, stop it, you're embarrassing me.
River: If you like.
Amy: Okay, enough flirting! Doctor, shut up. River, don't encourage him.
River: Yes, Mother.
Rory: Yeah, no more flirting.
Rory: I'm checking out. Are you sure there's nothing else you want, Amy?
Amy: Yep.
Amy: WAIT! I need sauce for tomorrow's lasagna.
Rory: AMY! I've just paid.
Doctor: This domestic life is making my head hurt. River, call me when it's over.
Amy: Oi. I'm right here.
Doctor: Are you finished?
Amy: With what?
Doctor: With being all... domestic-y.
Rory: Is that an insult?
Doctor: Yes.
Doctor: I mean, no. Not at all. Definitely not. Absolutely not an insult.
River: It was an insult.
Amy: Yeah, I know. He's not getting any dessert tonight.
Doctor: WHAT? Amelia! You wouldn't dare.
Doctor: Wait. So I am invited?
Amy: Of course, stupid! River, you should come too.
River: I'd love to.
Doctor: Yay! Except BEANS. I might have to bring my own dinner.
Amy: You're such an idiot.
Amy: I'll make you a burrito with just cheese, is that bland enough for you?
Rory: Seriously, though, even kids aren't that picky.
River: Dad, if you ever expect my husband to act like an adult, prepare to be disappointed.
River: I've learned to just let him act however he wants. It's less trouble for me that way.
Amy: Too bad. I was hoping you could teach him some manners.
Doctor: Oi! I'm here too, you know!
Amy: I'm just teasing. You're not that bad.
River: That's only because you're not married to him.
Amy: LOL.
Doctor: What's LOL?
Rory: It's short for 'laughing out loud'.
Doctor: Really? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Its so dumb, I'm LOL.
Amy: No, you can't use it like that, it's got to be on it's own. No 'I'm' or anything like that.
Doctor: Like this? LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL.
River: You must be rolling on the floor by now.
Doctor: Ooh, nice one, River. Very NP.
River: Very what?
Doctor: NP. Nicely phrased.
Amy: I think it's short for 'no problem'.
Doctor: Oh. Same difference.
Rory: Not really.
Doctor: What about this one? PLZ.
Amy: That one means please.
Doctor: WHAT? But 'please' doesn't even HAVE a z in it! Who invented that stupid phrase? I don't like them.
River: Okay, calm down, sweetie.
Doctor: Yes, sorry. Moving on.
Doctor: What about this one? LMAO.
Thirty seconds later:
Doctor: Hello? Ponds? River? Where'd you all go?
Amy: Um, Doctor, I think you should stay away from texting abbreviations now.
Doctor: Why?
River: We don't want to spoil your innocence.
Doctor: Innocence? What innocence? You're talking to the man who saw a cat on the street and didn't even pet it! No one can be innocent after doing that!
Rory: I think that was River's point.
Amy: Uh oh, I have to go. Our next-door neighbor is coming over again.
Doctor: That woman isn't very nice. She insulted my bow tie. Keep away from her.
Amy: ... Okay.
Amy: Doctor - River - be here at six for dinner.
Doctor: Which month?
Amy: Are you kidding me? He doesn't even remember when he saw us last!
Doctor: It's kind of hard to keep track of time when you own a time machine!
Rory: It's July. July 14th.
Doctor: Great. And I'm bringing all of you presents!
Amy: Is your present some kind of hatwear?
Doctor: Aww, how did you know?
Amy: Just a hunch.
River: Should I bring my gun, Mother? Just as a precaution. In case he's wearing another of those silly fezzes.
Amy: I think you should. Just in case.
Amy: Okay, the neighbor's here. Gotta go. See you soon.
Rory: Bye Ames.
River: See you soon, Mother.
Doctor: Bye Ponds! Bye wifey! See you at... whenever I was supposed to see you at!
River: ... Wifey? Well, well. Looks like someone's getting bolder.
Doctor: Only for you, River.
Rory: DOCTOR. NO. MORE. FLIRTING.
Doctor: Yes, yes, Roranicus. I know.
Rory: That's not my name.
Doctor: Pond, then?
Rory: My last name is Williams, as you very well know!
Doctor: No, it's Pond! Amy's a Pond, therefore, Pond!
Rory: That makes no sense.
River: Just go with the flow, Dad.
Doctor: Especially when the flow is as handsome as me.
Doctor: That sounded better in my head.
Rory: Ok, I'm going to go now, before this conversation gets any weirder.
Rory: See you later, guys.
Doctor: Bye Pond! I mean Roranicus! I mean Rory! Whoever you are.
Rory: Great. Thanks.
For those of you who don't know what LMAO is short for... look it up. I'm not telling you. I only just found out myself.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Reviews/constructive criticism appreciated. See you next time friends!