000
.
"Listen to me you would not; destroy a worthy student you did. Learn from your mistakes have you?"
Qui-Gon lifted his head to see Master Yoda leaning on his cane; seemingly with all the galaxy's worries on his shoulders. A sense of relief filled him seeing his friend and mentor.
"Master Yoda, I'm so happy you came. I have hurt him badly, but I believe it to be an irreparable mistake; one that cannot be repaired." He said leaning back; despair radiating from him.
"Felt it I did… disorder in the force. Torment fills Obi-Wan, physical, no! Mental suffering yes! Sense I do that hid his pain and grief these past years...Help him now you must." Yoda stated.
"No! You didn't see the pain I saw in his eyes. He dislikes me and I don't blame him. How can I help him, it is I who caused the suffering and torment you are speaking about." Qui-Gon said shaking his head in misery.
"Only the one who inflicted the pain can free him from it, and heal the mind." Yoda admonished.
"No I won't see him again. I have caused him too much pain already." Qui-Gon firmly stated.
Yoda straightened to his full height and pointed his cane at Qui-Gon.
"Go then! Take your self pity and selfishness with you, and know this… If walk that path you do, then seek no more of my counsel will you!" Yoda snapped as he walked away.
.
Qui-Gon was taken aback at Yoda's words and his eyes followed the old masters silhouette; until he was out of sight.
He knew Yoda was right, he was selfish and he was feeling sorry for himself.
He'd always hid behind the solid wall he'd erected to keep others out and once again he was only thinking of his own feelings. Not of the person who mattered most.
That boy has carried his perceived shame for six years and yet he has continued to strive forward and is a better man than me. Qui-Gon thought.
.
000
.
The nurse gave Ben a sedative and was sitting with him until he dozed off.
"Whatever that Jedi did I will make sure he doesn't return to do it again." she whispered almost to herself as she quietly slipped out of the room.
She was startled out of her musing by a diminutive creature standing in front of her.
"Wrong you are, return Master Jinn should to set things right between them." Yoda said making her jump.
She put her hand to her startled heart and declared. "Who are you?" as she took in his appearance she realised what he was.
"You're another one of those Jedi aren't you!" she snapped. "Let me tell you something Master Jedi! … That boy in there doesn't need any more visits like that last one. So go on about your business and leave him alone!"
"Answer your first question I will, Yoda is my name; Jedi Master I am, and visit Obi-Wan I wish to do."
She looked at him with confusion "His name is Ben… Ben Kenobi, not…. Obi-Wan?"
"Known him since a youngling I have, go by the name Ben he may do! Nevertheless Obi-Wan Kenobi is his name." Yoda confirmed.
"Well you will have to speak to the Doctor, and if he allows you to visit, I won't stop you… However I will be close by, just to make sure you or that other one do not hurt him again!" she snapped as she pointed to the Doctor's room.
Yoda bowed to her. "Thank you, and hurt him I will not."
.
Within a few minutes of speaking to the doctor, he was entering Obi-Wan's room. Yoda levitated himself onto the bed and gently sat down examining his long lost youngling through the force, verifying that it was indeed Obi-Wan.
Several hours later Obi-Wan began to stir, and his eyelids twitched and so did his lips. He was rising to consciousness, and his first sight was the ceiling, and he sighed.
He brought his hands up and rubbed his face, his force connection was weakened by his injuries, however somewhere in the foggy depths of his conscious thought he felt a warm and friendly presence. One filled with compassion and concern.
Without looking around the room he closed his eyes and with his mind he stretched out to touch the force.
He wanted to wrap him self in this comforting presence; and as he found it and touched its warmth he realised the presence was in his room, and his eye lids opened.
.
Their eyes locked, and Obi-Wan couldn't speak. He'd already had words with another Jedi, and this was too much to bear. Tears formed in his eyes and began to trickle down the side of his face.
"Youngling came here not to hurt you have I. Come here to see what thought my eyes would never witness again. My eyes are pleased to see you and my heart is also." Yoda whispered calmly.
The tears fell more at the sound of genuine concern coming from Master Yoda, and he wiped them away.
"H-hello Master Yoda." he whispered back.
"Hello young one, proud of you I am, saved many delegates and the Queen you did."
Obi-Wan closed his eyes saying softly, "I didn't do it alone and I was just doing my duty."
"Do no more, or no less than a Jedi would." Yoda confirmed.
"Please don't." Obi-Wan whispered.
.
Yoda accepted the plea, and nodded at the young man. "Live on Chandrila you do, nice place. Visited there once many years ago." Yoda said changing the subject. "Work for Senator Mon Mothma you do."
Obi-Wan sighed. "Yes, her son Lance was the target of a kidnapping three years ago and I prevented the kidnappers from getting him. The Senator gave me a job as a companion and protector to him. Now that he's older, I have been promoted to Sergeant of the guards."
"Still on Naboo, is Senator Mothma?" Yoda asked.
"No, she had to return home to attend business, and Lance went with her." Obi-Wan confirmed.
"Still under threat is her son?" Yoda asked.
"No… not specifically, nevertheless as with all high profile people, a danger always exists for family members." He answered yawning.
"Tired you are young one, leave you now. Come back later I will, much to know about you there is." Yoda stated.
"Why?" He asked as Yoda was hobbling out of the room.
"Meditate you should, see clearly you will". Yoda hobbled out the door not looking back.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes and shook his head. (Still as frustrating as ever, he hasn't changed, he would never give me a straight answer when I was an initiate.)
.
000
.
The next day word was out that Ben's real name was Obi-Wan, and when Padmè came to see him, she smiled.
"I like it…. it sounds like you….Very distinguished, -Obi-Wan Kenobi – yes, I like your name very much."
"Oh, I don't know, I kinda liked the name Ben, don't you?" he asked.
"Um, let me see. Ben, Benny, Benjamin, Benji." She said pulling a face.
"Ok, ok, my name is Obi-Wan. Are you upset with me, that I hid my real name?"
She burst out laughing "Are you upset with me, knowing that I hide the real me behind the handmaiden's clothes?"
He grinned it was the first cheeky smile she had seen since he woke up. But then he frowned and asked. "So is your name, 'Padmè… or is it something else?"
"Yes" she whispered for only his ears "My full name is Amidala Padmè Naberrie."
He picked up her hand and kissed it. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being my friend."
"Always," she said. "I certainly hope we can continue to see each other when time permits." she winked.
"I would like that very much." he blushed.
"Good, well I have meetings to attend to, so I will see you later." She kissed his forehead and turned, nearly bumping into Master Yoda.
"Hello Master Yoda, I expect you to take good care of him." she remarked as she said her goodbyes.
.000
.
Yoda hobbled up and levitated onto the bed. "Colour returning to your face, in good hands you are young one." he chuckled as Padmè left.
"I am feeling better, and the Queen is very nice." He said glancing behind Yoda making sure Master Jinn wasn't waiting to pounce on him.
"Master Yoda I don't want to be disrespectful, but if you've come here to talk about Master Jinn, I'm not interested."
"A great many things there are to talk about, but one of them he is not. Important it is to me to know on Thyferra what happened?"
"I did what I was told and learnt about bacta. Every day I meditated to give me strength and peace to do what the order expected of me, but I never believed that I was given the Force as a gift; only to watch plants grow."
"Ah yes, a gift you have. A great warrior I saw in the Force, but foresee the events occur as they did I did not."
"I never stopped having dreams and visions that I would be a Jedi so I kept busy. I continued to practice; waiting for the day a master would want me."
"Told me Master Windu did that training you had?"
"Yes I did when I left Thyferra."
"When erupted the volcano did?"
"Yes, when I got to Thyferra there was a stream of smoke billowing from that volcano. Everyone but me thought it was safe. I couldn't convince them of its danger. Who would listen to a failed Jedi!"
"Fail you did not!"
Obi-Wan shook his head. "Anyway, it finally erupted in the middle of the night, and large burning rocks rained down on everything; destroying anything in its path. People died and others were panicking and thick ash settled all over us and stung our eyes."
"Die on Thyferra many people did."
"Yes it was horrible, the ground opened up and lava ran down and burned everything. It became hard to breathe. I heard someone yelling for survivors to head to higher ground. I followed them to a clearing, near a pond." he shuddered.
"The moon and stars were hidden behind black smoke and ash, it was frightening. I'd never seen a volcano before. I found a bucket and washed the soot out of my eyes and brought water back to the others. You couldn't tell who was who with so much soot on every one."
"Help arrived when?"
"A couple of hours later, a couple of ships landed in the clearing with medical supplies. I helped all night and in the morning more ships arrived. They were going to take survivors to another agri-corps compound."
"Ah see I do, not want to return to farming you did?"
"It didn't feel right, and I hid behind some equipment, trying to decide what to do. The pilot of a ship saw me and came over and asked me if I would help him put the equipment back on his ship."
"It felt right and I went with him on board the Sun Seeker."
Yoda's ears straightened. "The sun seeker you say."
"Yes, the pilot's name was-"
"Master Cass Durron, knew him well I did." Yoda said.
"Master Durron said he knew you many years ago, anyway we talked and he said I should come with him on the sun seeker."
"Saw your potential he did."
"Master Durron, was very kind to me, and he made me his unofficial padawan and taught me as much as he could for two years. He was a great mentor and before we reached Chandrila he asked me if I would return to the temple with him to see you."
"Wanted to make you an official padawan, my old friend did."
"Yes, he said my dreams would become reality, but my master died two days before we got to Chandrila."
"Contact me you should, respect Master Durron's wishes I would."
"No! I was a runaway; the Jedi council would have sent me back to the corps. So I decided to stay on Chandrila."
"Master Durron's sabre you have?"
"He left all his belongings to me, and I thought that one day I would return the sabre to you for safe keeping, but Lance told me Master Jinn has it now."
"Your sabre is safe with Master Jinn, give it back to you he will."
"I cannot have it; I'm not a Jedi, but I would like to make a request if I may?"
"A request you say?"
"Yes, please take it from Master Jinn and keep it safe. I couldn't bear it if his apprentice gets his hands on it."
"An apprentice, Master Jinn does not have."
"W-what! What happened to Bruck?"
"For Master Jinn to tell you that is."
Obi-Wan felt relief fill him knowing that he wouldn't have to see Bruck, and yet that news didn't make him feel better. "I do not need Master Jinn telling me anything."
Yoda sensed the conflicting thoughts and knew that Obi-Wan should speak to Qui-Gon.
"Up you will get tomorrow, Doctor will permit it." Yoda confirmed.
"Good… I am sick of lying here, it is so boring."
"Time to meditate… hmmm young one?" he questioned
"Why?" Obi-Wan stated
"To perceive clearly what you are afraid to see." he answered.
"Afraid. Well then that just proves it doesn't it." Obi-Wan snapped crossing his arms over his chest.
"Proves what young one."
"That Master Jinn was right…..that I am destined for the Dark side."
"Speak of such a thing I do not. Master Jinn insensitive he is. Not of the Dark side it is that afraid to see you are." Yoda calmly said.
"Then what is it that I am afraid of?" He asked cautiously.
"Master Jinn." Yoda answered.
Obi-Wan went quiet; he placed his trembling hands under the blanket and pulled them up around his chin. After a few moments he said quietly. "I'm not afraid of Master Jinn."
.
"Hide your presence from him, when arrived he did on Naboo, avoid him you did, why?"
"I didn't want him to know anything about me; he made his choice years ago and we have nothing to talk about." he declared.
"A great many things you have to speak about."
"Why! He didn't want to speak to me when I was a child; he made certain to tell me how unworthy I was then, and how foolish I am now!"
"Never unworthy were you, and believe I will not that foolish you are."
"When Master Jinn arrived on Naboo, all the painful memories surfaced. I didn't want him to remember me. He only sees the person he perceived me to be, not the person I am."
"Then show him the person you always were, the one I knew would be a great Jedi."
"It's too late, when I see his eyes staring at me I feel like that failed initiate who could do nothing right. The one he said was hot-tempered and angry and who would turn to the dark side".
Obi-Wan knew Master Yoda was right. He was afraid to know what Master Jinn thought of him. Tears filled eyes, but he blinked them back and whispered.
"I'm not…I'm not that person. I just wanted him to see me!.. Not how Bruck made him see me!" He said lowering his head and closing his eyes.
"Please go now, I'm tired."
tbc...