Since the impromptu picnic a week ago, Loki had relaxed considerably. Sunrise too had become much more comfortable; music filtered through the house at almost every hour of the day and Sunrise could often be found singing and dancing along to the song of choice.
At this moment, Sunrise could be found dancing around the kitchen awkwardly, attempting to keep in time with the music without hitting the walls or Nox- who had decided that she wanted to stand right in the middle of the kitchen. The dinging of the stove causes Sunrise to start and stare at the appliance as though she'd forgotten it existed.
Loki enters the room just as Sunrise pulls a circular pan out of the oven and places it on the counter. The sweet scent of chocolate cake fills the tiny cottage and both inhabitants breathe deeply. As Loki steps closer, Nox darts away into the living room and vanishes under the sofa.
"What's the occasion?" Loki asks as he breathes deeply.
Sunrise smiles up at him widely, a childish joy lighting up her eyes.
"Guess what day it is!"
"I'm not guessing, Sunrise. Just tell me." Despite Sunrise's obvious enthusiasm, Loki remains impassive.
"Ugh, fine!" Sunrise concedes, hanging her head. "It's my birthday!"
Loki stares at Sunrise with his eyebrow raised the tiniest bit, nothing else on his face betraying any emotion.
"Congratulations," Loki replies, his voice holding the tiniest bit of warmth.
"Thanks," Sunrise replies, visibly calming down and relaxing. "Sorry, I always get really hyper when I bake cake," she says, ducking her head apologetically. Sunrise lifts her head and looks at Loki conspiratorially. "It's 'cos I sneak some of the sugar," she whispers, grinning broadly.
Loki smiles in appeasement and Sunrise laughs lightly. Loki watches as Sunrise pulls out a cooling rack and tips the cake onto it. As Sunrise begins to make the frosting, Loki returns to the living room to read his book; another of Sunrise's, this one a science-fiction novel about an alien lost in an alternate universe.
Sunrise glances over at Loki, stretched out on the armchair, and smiles, pulling the beater out of the fresh batch of sugary frosting. She walks over to Loki and holds the beater out to him.
"What is this?"
Sunrise laughs, "It's the beater from the frosting. Do you want to lick it?"
"Lick it?" Loki asks, his brow raising.
"Yes! Like this-" Sunrise pulls it back and licks a big streak in the frosting, humming with pleasure at the taste.
She holds it out to Loki again and he stares at it warily before taking it slowly. Sunrise watches, amused as Loki cautiously licks the frosting, his eyes widening as the treat melts on his tongue. Sunrise turns around and returns to the kitchen, leaving Loki to swiftly (but regally) lick the beater clean.
When Loki walks into the kitchen a few minutes later, Sunrise has almost finished frosting the cake and laughs at Loki's obvious glances toward the frosting bowl. Loki glares at Sunrise as she laughs and the woman smirks challengingly back. But, before Loki can make any sort of move against her, someone knocks at the door, Lupa and Dusk barking madly and racing through the hallway.
Sunrise and Loki look at each other in confusion before Sunrise walks to the door and Loki ducks into the study, looking out the window in there to see a surprising visitor.
Sunrise opens the door and freezes at the sight on her porch. She leaps back a step as the woman at her door tries to pull her into a hug.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Sunrise asks, her voice icy and her breathing accelerating.
"I'm here to wish you happy birthday, Aubrey," the woman replies. Sunrise's breath hitches and she steps back inside the door. "Aubrey, please-"
"That's not my name," Sunrise replies, deadly quiet.
"Right, Sunrise. Why would you pick that name; it's sounds so silly," the woman says, stepping inside. Sunrise darts backwards, staring at the woman with a mixed expression of horror and rage.
"You're not wanted here, Jane," Sunrise bites out.
Jane Foster turns to look directly into the eyes of her little sister, seeming to take in for the first time how angry Sunrise is.
"Why not? I just wanted to say 'Hello'," Jane tries.
"You've said it, now leave," Sunrise replies, her voice shaking with the effort to stay calm.
"But, Sunrise-" Jane tries.
"GET OUT!" Sunrise shrieks, pushing at Jane's shoulders.
Dusk and Lupa jump into action as well, snarling and barking at the woman. Jane's eyes widen and she moves towards the door.
"Aubrey, stop this, right now. You are acting like a-"
"Like a what?" Sunrise snarls. "Like an idiot? A weirdo? A freak?" Tears spark at the edges of Sunrise's vision and she sucks in a deep breath to stay calm.
Lupa has circled back around to Sunrise and presses her great head against the woman's legs. Dusk has stopped barking as well, but remains staring at Jane guardedly.
Loki moves from his hidden spot behind the door of the study and steps fully into view of the two girls. Sunrise turns and stares at him, wide eyes glittering with tears that the young woman refuses to shed.
Loki steps up beside Sunrise and rests his hand gently on her back, watching as she leans into him, allowing a couple tears to escape down her cheeks. Loki looks up at Jane, who stands open-mouthed at the pair.
"I think it would be best if you left," Loki says, turning away with Sunrise.
Unfortunately, Jane refuses to leave without having the last word.
"Who the hell is this? Why is there a strange man in your house?" Jane shouts, Sunrise tenses under the onslaught, but refuses to say a word. "Aubrey Foster, I am talking to you!"
Sunrise snaps suddenly, twisting out of Loki's grip and lunging at her sister, an almighty shriek tearing its way out of her throat. Clawed fingers lash at Jane, and the older woman yelps, backing away rapidly and holding her arms up to ward off the raging Sunrise off.
Loki steps forward and wraps his arms around Sunrise, holding the struggling, screaming and sobbing woman against his chest as he glares at Jane. Jane turns tail and runs out the door, slamming it shut as Dusk and Lupa snap at her heels. Sunrise's cries quieten as the sound of an engine fires up and tires crunch against the gravel outside.
The second that Loki releases Sunrise, she stumbles into her bedroom and begins to rifle through her drawers. Loki follows close behind and calls out to the distraught woman.
"Sunrise, what are you looking for?" Loki asks, his voice calm and soothing.
Sunrise stares up at him, her eyes are damp, but no tears fall from her lashes. She opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. One hand comes up to her other arm and her finger flicks against the skin rapidly before she turns back to her nightstand.
Loki steps forward again and pins Sunrise's arms to her sides just as she lifts a tiny razor from the back of one of the drawers. Sunrise struggles and screams as Loki sits down on the floor, pulling her with him.
Loki pries the razor from her grasp and reaches up to put it on the nightstand, holding Sunrise tightly against him and shushing her the whole time. Sunrise still refuses to cry, her eyes wide and wild with panic. Her breathing is becoming more and more rapid, until Sunrise seems to choke on her own breath.
Loki presses one hand against her mouth, forcing her to breathe through her nostrils. The woman does so, nostrils flaring widely as she tries to suck in breath around the god's large hand. After a moment of this, Sunrise's breathing has calmed down and, though shaky, she is no longer hyperventilating.
Loki waits until most of the tension has left the woman's body before asking, "Why do you do it?"
Sunrise takes a deep breath and stares up at him, her eyes seeming more blue-grey than green at this distance.
"I don't know why…" Sunrise begins, Loki straining to hear her low murmur. "Have you ever felt like your mind was falling apart, and you can't think or see or do anything other than clutch your head and hope that your mind doesn't explode with all the madness swirling through it?"
Loki stares at Sunrise for a moment for replying simply, "Yes."
"It helps. It's like all the madness, all the pain and uncertainty and everything just flows out; like every drop of blood is a crazy, painful thought leaking into the atmosphere, never to bother you again… That's why," Sunrise finishes, burying her head into Loki's chest.
Loki is silent, holding Sunrise against him as she takes deep, slow breaths, trying to calm down. When she finally lifts her head again to look at Loki, it is with dry eyes and a slight frown. Loki stares at her a moment longer before he stands, pulling Sunrise with him.
Sunrise gasps and stumbles against Loki as he rises with her, staring at him in confusion. Sunrise clings to Loki's shirt and allows him to sit her down on the bed. Loki sits next to her, watching as she plays with her fingers in her lap. When Sunrise begins to murmur and twist her fingers around even faster, Loki reaches over and places one large hand over hers.
Flinching away, Sunrise stands from the bed and begins pacing frantically around her room. Loki watches unabashedly as she goes from one wall to another, carefully avoiding the blade on the nightstand. Her steps are only just slow enough to be considered a walk and her breathing has gotten harsh.
Scratching at the door causes Sunrise to jerk backwards and stare at the door in terror. Just as Loki begins to stand, Sunrise relaxes and moves towards the door, opening it to allow a meek Lupa into the room. When Sunrise collapses to the ground next to Lupa, Loki tenses almost microscopically and leans toward her. Sunrise starts shaking and buries her face in Lupa's fur, Loki watching as the dog twists to lean her dark snout against the woman's shoulder.
Loki merely continues to watch until Sunrise starts screaming. Loki steps forward and sinks to his knees behind Sunrise, placing one hand in her hair and stroking slightly—the way Frigga had done for him when he was a child. Sunrise leans into Loki's hand and releases Lupa, the dog whimpering quietly in concern and watching as Sunrise looks up at Loki, her mouth parted slightly and her eyes filled with vulnerability.
"I love her," Sunrise mutters, horrified with herself.
Loki says nothing, merely tilts his head and looks at Sunrise with confusion.
"Jane. I hate her, but I love her. I want her to leave me alone forever, but I don't want her to get hurt," Sunrise babbles, searching Loki's eyes for compassion. "I want to hate her so badly, but I can't," she pauses. "I just can't."
Loki stares down at the woman, shocked at how swiftly she was able to go from brave and furious, to terrified and broken. Sunrise begins to shrink away and Loki softens his expression, not realizing that his eyes hold none of the ice that was so typical of him. It was this fact that caused Sunrise to freeze and stare at Loki's face in wonder.
Confused at her expression, Loki seeks to break the tension by asking, "Why do you want to hate your sister?"
Sunrise is silent for a moment, causing Loki to doubt his inquiry for a second. When she responds, it is not with the words that Loki had expected.
"I was a daddy's girl," she begins, pausing for a loaded second to organize her thoughts. "He was a professor of astrophysics at Culver University. I loved him; he was always there for me. I remember once he let me pick the answers for a test; he gave me one of the answer sheets and let me colour in whatever bubbles I wanted and he made those the correct answers." Another pregnant pause lingers in the air. "He died 12 years ago to the day."
Loki cut in, confused, "But today is-"
"My birthday, I know. It's why Jane showed up, no matter how many times I chase her away. She feels that the 'family' should be together," Sunrise replies emotionlessly. "Of course, our mother never bothers with the 'family' crap." At Loki's curious expression, she continues, "She blames me for his death."
"Why?"
Sunrise turns back into Loki's chest to hide for a breath. "Because I watched him die."
Loki says nothing for a moment, merely watching as Sunrise keeps her forehead pressed against Loki's chest, her hands moving to fiddle with the hem of his shirt. Sunrise takes long, slow breaths to keep from crying. When he does speak, the words shock Sunrise.
"Is that the debt you owe the world? The death of your father?"
Sunrise stares at him, remembering the conversation that had taken place weeks ago before answering with a nod. Loki goes silent again, waiting for Sunrise to finish her story.
"Jane is my mother's pride and joy; talented, intelligent, a brilliant astrophysicist just like our dad. My mother never really had time for me, it was always Dad who helped me with homework and stuff. My mother wanted me to go into math or science like Jane and my dad, but I've always loved the arts."
Loki shifts slightly and Sunrise moves away, startled. Loki leans his back against the side of the bed and pulls Sunrise's back against his chest, settling her between her legs. As Loki leans his chin against her head, Sunrise sighs and relaxes against him.
"After my father died, I went to college for Creative Writing," Sunrise says, closing her eyes. "And I fell in love. His name was Jack Winters. He was going to school for the medical sciences at the same university as me. We dated for three years and were engaged for about five months. Three months before the wedding day, he was shot and killed," Sunrise chokes the words out, the bridge of her nose starting to burn with the pain of unshed tears. "I buried him on the day I was supposed to marry him."
Loki pauses, his brow furrowing. "Before, you said that he died in a bank robbery."
Sunrise squeezes her eyes shut. "I know," is all she says.
Loki tightens his arms around Sunrise and she grabs one of his hands, clinging to it desperately as tears fill her eyes. Loki pulls Sunrise close and buries his nose in her hair, shushing her gently as she starts to cry.
"I had published all my books using his last name. Then I moved here, where no one knew me and I could be Sunrise; the quirky young woman who lives out in the middle of nowhere. I tried to forget him, but it's hard to forget the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with." Sunrise stops, her story finished, and curls up against Loki's chest, the tears drying in her eyes.
Loki stares at the young woman, shocked at the amount of loved ones she seems to lose. As the silence stretches out, Loki closes his eyes, taking a deep breath to calm himself before he begins his own story.
"I was adopted," he begins. Sunrise leans her head back and looks at Loki, only to see him staring out above her head. She remains silent as he continues, "My mother taught me everything she knew about magic and fighting. My brother, Thor, and his friends laughed at me whenever I wanted to train with them as a child because I was too 'small and weak'. Odin used to tell Thor and me that 'both of us were born to be kings', and yet, it was obvious that he favoured Thor. A couple years ago, Odin declared that Thor would be king."
Loki's arms tense around Sunrise spastically and she gasps quietly in surprise. Loki's face darkens as he lets himself fall into his memories.
"Thor was a fool. An arrogant, belligerent fool. He would have brought Asgard to ruin. I had to do something," Loki proclaims, his voice taking on a unique quality of distress. He stares down at Sunrise, begging her to understand. She says nothing, but leans back into Loki's chest, relaxed and willing to listen. Loki lowers his head and rests his chin atop hers.
"I snuck a small group of Frost Giants into the Weapon's Vault during Thor's coronation. They killed the two Einherjar in there and attempted to steal the Casket of Winters before being killed as I intended. Thor was furious, he wanted to attack the Frost Giants; make them pay for trying steal the Casket. Odin refused him—Thor wasn't king yet; the intrusion had stopped that. I had hoped that it would stop there, that Odin would see that Thor was unfit for the crown, but still he couldn't see Thor's idiocy.
"I tricked Thor into going to Jotunheim with his friends and me. I told a guard to go to Odin; we were never supposed to make past the Bifrost, but Heimdall allowed us through almost immediately," Loki's words come faster in his desperation.
Sunrise pries one of Loki's hands free from the death grip he has around her waist and holds it in two of her own, tracing lines on his palm with genuine fascination. Loki stares down at her, watching her fingers brush softly along the creases of his battle-worn hand, pausing at every little scar and blemish to memorize them with her touch.
Calm again, Loki launches back into his tale, "In Jotunheim, I tried to get us out without a fight, but one of the Frost Giants insulted Thor and the fool attacked him, instigating a full blown battle. During the battle, one of Thor's friends was touched by a Frost Giant and burned." Loki pauses and closes his eyes before saying slowly, "So was I."
Sunrise reacts, tensing and twisting to look up at Loki, asking, "Were you hurt? Sorry, stupid question, of course—"
"No, I wasn't," Loki cuts in. Sunrise stares at him in confusion, but says nothing. "I wasn't burned, but my skin turned blue. Odin showed up soon after and brought us back to Asgard. Odin sent the others to the healers and banished Thor to Midgard. Later that night, I went to Weapon's Vault and held the Casket, watching my skin turn blue. Odin showed up and—" Loki stops, unable to continue. "And he told me what I was. I'm not Asgardian at all; I'm a Frost Giant, a monster. Odin took me from Jotunheim as the spoils of war. A stolen relic. Soon after, Odin fell into the Odinsleep and I was king regent. I lured the king of the Frost Giants, Laufey—who also happened to be my birth father—into Asgard and killed him. I then turned the Bifrost on Jotunheim to destroy that bastard realm.
"Thor stopped me by destroying the Bifrost, but we ended up hanging off the edge of the Bifrost bridge, Odin holding onto us by Thor's foot. I tried to make him understand… I just wanted him to see that I was an Asgardian, just like Thor and him and everyone!" Loki stops talking for a moment, his eyes closing to prevent the tears from leaking out. Sunrise says nothing, pressing her head into Loki's chest until he continues.
"They let me fall into the void. I should have died, but instead I landed in the realm of a being called the Other. He and his master… persuaded me to take over Midgard, causing what you mortals call the Battle of New York five months ago." Sunrise nods in understanding before allowing Loki to continue. "I failed and Thor brought me back to Midgard. Being sent here was my punishment. Odin took my powers and sent me to die on this planet."
Sunrise stares at Loki intensely, searching for something in his eyes. She bites her lip harshly before asking, "How did they 'persuade' you?"
Loki tenses behind her, staring down at Sunrise in shock.
He narrows his eyes at her and whispers, "What exactly are you asking?"
"Did they torture you, Loki?" Sunrise asks, her eyes still searching his.
Loki stands suddenly, causing Sunrise to fall back before catching herself. She looks up at him dispassionately, waiting for his temper to explode. The tension in the air breaks when Loki leans down slightly to sneer at Sunrise.
"Yes, they tortured me. Is that what you want to hear? That they broke my mind and body more times than I can count, then released me on this pathetic realm and watched me wreak havoc. Is that what you want to hear?" Loki's voice does not raise, but his rage is evident in the way his brows furrow and he bares his teeth more than necessary when he spits his words out at her.
As Sunrise climbs slowly to her feet, she is struck by just how expressive Loki's eyebrows become when he gets emotional. Shaking her head at the errant thought, Sunrise steps forward towards Loki. The god tries to back away, but Sunrise wraps her arms around him and holds him tight, her head barely coming up to his collarbone.
Loki struggles at first, but finally relaxes when he realizes that Sunrise has no intention of letting him go. He refuses to respond to her hug, electing instead to stare down at her in wonder.
"I'm sorry, Loki. I shouldn't have asked, but some things you need to hear straight out. It's no excuse, but I hope you can forgive me," Sunrise mutters, not lifting her head from Loki's chest as she speaks.
Loki allows Sunrise to lead him to the bed and sits down cautiously while Sunrise sits next to him, resting her head gently against his shoulder.
"My father died in a boating accident. We used to go out every year on my birthday and do something fun together. When I was 13, he took me trail riding. When I was 19, he decided to take me canoeing on the Atlantic for the day. It was too windy to be on the water in such a small canoe. We shouldn't have been out there at all, but my dad and I were both a little too carefree.
"Our canoe capsized after a few hours. We were both exhausted from rowing. I can't remember everything, but there was something in the water. My dad kept shouting something, but I couldn't hear him. I must have passed out, because the next thing I remember is waking up next to the shoreline." Sunrise pauses for a moment, letting Loki soak in all the information she had just dumped on him.
"A couple found me an hour later on the beach and called 911. They went out in boats and found the canoe. They also found my daddy's body. He died, and I can't even remember what happened," Sunrise laments, her nose burning again as tears fill her eyes.
This time, she is unable to hold them back and the tears cascade down her cheeks, gathering on her chin and dripping onto her chest. Loki pulls her in close and rests his chin on her hair. Sunrise turns into Loki's chest and cries, letting Loki's shirt soak up her tears. Lupa makes her presence known as she nuzzles against her mistress' leg, whimpering quietly.
Sunrise sucks in a deep, ragged breath and pulls away from Loki, drying her eyes. She stares at the damp spot on Loki's shirt for a second before standing abruptly.
"I'm sorry," she murmurs, gesturing to the damp spot. "I've gotten your shirt wet and acted like an idiot. Sorry…"
Loki shakes his head, "Don't apologize for feeling, Sunrise. It's pointless and annoying."
Sunrise forces a weak, brief smile. She wipes away her tears roughly and sniffs loudly before managing a slightly more believable smile—emphasis on the slightly. Loki stands, staring down at Sunrise before deciding to make her smile more genuine.
"Something tells me you won't be up to doing anything for a while, so I'm going to go and burn down your house attempting to make you some food."
Sunrise stares at him for a moment before grinning slightly. "Don't you dare. I'll have you know that I am very attached to this house and would be very upset if you were to burn it down."
"Then I suppose you will have to supervise me, Lady Sunrise," Loki retorts, grinning cheekily at her.
Sunrise actually manages a laugh at that, a huff of air followed by a breathlessly brief chuckle. She shakes her head and follows the grinning god of mischief into her kitchen. After watching him open the fridge and stare blankly at its contents for a moment, she takes pity on him and brushes him aside, pulling some leftover noodles out.
Now it is Loki's turn to watch as Sunrise warms the noodles up and dumps them on a couple plates, setting the plates on the table as Loki grabs glasses. The two eat in silence, both processing the stories that had spilled out of the other earlier that day.
After dinner, Sunrise hands Loki a piece of cake and coaches him through the song 'Happy Birthday'—something that Loki had apparently never heard before to Sunrise's mock horror. Once Loki is done praising Sunrise's cooking ability—even going so far as to bow mockingly to her, causing the woman to laugh a little too loudly—she sends him out of the kitchen.
Sunrise walks out to see Loki relaxing back on the bed, his hands resting on his chest as his eyes follow Sunrise to his side. She kneels next to him and stares at his chin, unwilling to look the god in the eyes.
"Thank you for listening to me today; not many people are willing to do that for someone that they don't know very well," Sunrise whispers, as though afraid that speaking too loud would cause Loki to become angry.
Loki stands suddenly, only to kneel in front of a startled Sunrise and grab her face with both his hands on either cheek.
"We may not have known each other for very long, but I can now say in all certainty that you know more about me than anyone else, save, possibly, for my own mother. Even before today, you have shown me more kindness than most and for that I thank you."
Sunrise smiles weakly at Loki and leans in to give him a hug, stretching on her tiptoes to rest her chin on his shoulder and stare at the wall behind him. This time, Loki hugs her back, holding her tightly against him.
When they part, Sunrise stares at the floor and slips past Loki to go to her own bedroom for the night. Just before she leaves the room, she musters up the courage to turn back and say, "Good night, Loki."
Loki replies in kind and watches as Sunrise turns off the lights and disappears down the darkened hallway.
AN: So sorry for the late update! I had no internet connection and then I got sick :( On another note, next chapter is going to be full of excitement! We're going to meet some men who are far too fond of spandex for their own good! :) I hope you enjoyed and don't forget to review! Please! :)