Day Forty-One: To Love You More by Celine Dion
"Spencer, why do you have all this old crap in your closet?" Hanna complained as she tried to take some boxes out from Spencer's closet.
"It's not crap, Hanna. All these things have sentimental value," Spencer replied. She went over to the closet to help Hanna.
Hanna, however, had already knocked over an old shoebox that was perched on some blankets on the shelf of the closet. The shoebox fell on its side, spilling out all its contents. "Sorry, Spence."
Spencer didn't comment, but tried to gather all the pictures and mementos in the box. It consisted of some simple things, like ribbons, buttons, cloth, more old pictures…
There was one picture in particular Hanna noticed Spencer dive for as she attempted to help Spencer out.
"What's that, Spencer?" Hanna asked as Spencer looked at it. The photo looked pretty old. It was torn a bit on the edges, Hanna noted.
"Oh, nothing," Spencer lied. But she looked at the photo and remembered a lot of things.
She remembered taking the photo. It had been the summer about seven years ago (so it wasn't really that old), when she was about twenty. She remembered how madly in love they had been with each other; there was nobody in the world she wanted more than him.
And she remembered how she begged him not to go. She didn't want her heart to break. She'd wait, but…he didn't let her. He let her go. It was supposed to be poetic and all, but it just hurt.
And she never saw him since, but she heard from friends that he was back and happy with some other girl.
Some part of her was very sad that he had moved on and she still hadn't (not completely). But another part was secretly very happy she'd never seen him with this new girl. She knew she'd be jealous and envious and spiteful. She knew she'd be telling herself shamelessly how she'd never love him like she did. She knew she'd be saying that this new girl would leave him and that she'd be there, waiting for him.
Well, she was confident she'd always be there for him, someway, somehow. She knew in her heart of hearts that she could make him feel the way they once did and that they could make up for lost time.
Well, if he let her.
"Where are we going, again?" Hanna asked for the tenth time as she placed her phone back in her bag. They were in a restaurant in Rosewood Square.
"For the hundredth time, Han, we're going to do your baby registry," Spencer said with a tiny, light-hearted eye-roll.
Hanna piped up. "Oh, right! Sorry, Spence. Baby brain," she responded for the tenth time.
"Sure it is," she replied.
Hanna rolled her eyes. She grabbed her coat so they could leave. "You're sure in a mood today, Spence."
"I'm not! You just think that because you're pregnant and moody. And I can say that. I'm your best friend," Spencer teased.
"Whatever. Just get up so we can go!" she scolded.
Spencer obeyed and got on her coat before joining Hanna to walk out the door.
"So about that picture…"
Spencer dreaded where this conversation was headed.
"…what was it a picture of?" the blonde asked.
Spencer sighed. "It was a picture of me and…Toby," she said quietly.
Hanna didn't know what to respond. She looked across the street at the baby boutique. "Look, Spence! Let's go there!" she said, eager to change the subject. Spencer didn't mind.
"Are you sure you don't want anything else here?" Spencer inquired, genuinely shocked that Hanna had only chosen a handful of items.
Hanna nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure," she said before dashing out the door (well, pretty quickly for a pregnant woman).
Hanna was already halfway down the street by the time Spencer even got to the door. In her haste, Spencer tripped over the crack in the pavement, where her heel got stuck. She was saved, though, by someone's strong arms.
"Thank y—"
When she looked up to see who it was, she was in complete and utter shock. She knew that those arms felt familiar.
She was in his arms for another few seconds before they finally let go of each other.
"Toby!" she uttered in shock. She still couldn't believe that fate permit them to run into each other in this way. And where had Hanna gone?
"Funny meeting you in this way," he joked, referring to her trip just seconds ago.
She blushed slightly, but couldn't suppress her laughter. "That was pretty clumsy of me, wasn't it?"
"It's good to know some things don't change."
She laughed as she watched him try and wash his own dishes. "Clearly, you still need me," she commented. She quickly got up to help him out. "Twenty-nine years old and you can't use a dishwasher?" she teased.
"There are too many controls! It's not just me!" he argued as he watched her turn the kitchen appliance on with ease.
She leaned against the counter. She felt kind of awkward being friends with him, as she still had some feelings for him.
"So how is Lauren?" she said, referencing his girlfriend she was secretly so insanely jealous of.
He looked a bit uncomfortable. "We actually broke up like two weeks ago," he answered.
She was shocked, but secretly happy about it. She felt guilty saying that, knowing that he might be torn up over it.
"How do you feel about it?" she asked.
He shrugged. "I was a bit upset at first, but…I'm glad it happened. I mean, she's pretty and kind, but we just didn't work out together."
She nodded. "I'm sorry."
He shook his head. "You don't have anything to be sorry for," he assured her. "In fact, I think seeing you again made me realize it."
Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she thought of it. Did this mean that he thought of her, too? She wanted to love him again but…only if he let her.
"How so?" she asked nervously. She felt as though her knees were about to give out beneath her.
He shrugged. "I remember what being with you felt like. It wasn't the same with her. I just didn't feel those butterflies when I saw her and there was nothing special about her kissing me. I know you don't need all the details, but…"
"No, I understand," she told him.
He smiled widely and genuinely. It was the first time she had seen him smile like this in about seven years. It was like seeing him for the first time.
"Do you ever miss it?" she inquired curiously.
"Miss what?" he asked.
She shrugged. "I don't know…the way things were before you…left," she answered.
He nodded slowly. "I miss it all the time," he confessed.
She stared at him, unsure of what to say. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you, too," she confessed.
He bit his lip, thinking about that. "Do you think it's possible I still love you all these years later?" he asked.
She smiled. "I think so," she answered. "Do you think it's possible I still love you?" she inquired.
He nodded. "Yeah, I do," he replied.
She was a bit hesitant, so she slowly neared his face. When he didn't offer any words of protest, she leaned in and pecked him on the lips.
It felt like old times, but a thousand times sweeter.