Hi all. Bought a new laptop and found I had to read the directions before I could get it ready to post the next chapter.
This chapter is what I would say is slow. No action, but not to worry, a lot of action is just around the corner. Thanks everyone who reviewed and thanks to everyone who is reading. Some surprises in store.
000
Qui-Gon's words to him were not spoken in anger or spite, but rocked him to the core anyway.
He sat up in the bed glaring at Qui-Gon; he had a barrage of retorts on the tip of his tongue to shoot back at the Master.
They were building to explode forth like the volcano did on Thyferra. But by allowing his emotions to flow out would prove Bruck right.
(I want to blame Bruck and blame Qui-Gon too, yet wasn't that the reason I hadn't been chosen, because I couldn't control my emotions.)
His hands shook under the pressure; he grasped them together around his knees, and took several deep breaths. He locked his eyes on a point in the room other than Jinn, and endeavoured to focus on the sound of air filling his lungs. His mind pictured Bruck laughing at him.
(Bruck, always Bruck; he taunted me, he stole my possessions, lied about me, hurt me and ended up with the life I believed would be mine.) He closed his eyes replaying Qui-Gon's words.
(Is Master Jinn right; have I let Bruck control me? Yes, he taunted me, and I should have ignored him. He did steal my things, and I shouldn't have taken matters into my own hands.
Bruck knew I would lose my temper with him and swing first. I did fall into his trap.)
Qui-Gon and Yoda sensed the wheels of clarity turning; replacing his irritation with constructive thoughts.
He was finally thinking about something other than his own pain. Young Obi-Wan sighed, and ran his fingers through his long hair.
He took another deep cleansing breath, and turned his head; fixing his attention on Qui-Gon.
His voice was softer, "I hope that I'm not an angry man, but when I was a boy, I felt worthless and disheartened and I had no confidence; I didn't know how to play Bruck's games. He always found a way to win and had the right story to convince everyone that I was pathetic…..It just hurts to remember." he said quietly
.
"I know you don't see it at the moment, yet if you look clearly at what you've become and how you succeeded in spite of everything. You have the force, you protect and serve, and you are respected and have many friends."
He contemplated what Qui-Gon was saying, but regret and shame still filled him.
He relaxed his arms and rubbed his eyes. He felt warm and he didn't want to talk about his past anymore. His arms were prickling, and he began rubbing them.
Yoda shook his head. "Uncomfortable are you?"
"Yes Master, I'm hot and my skin is itchy."
"Allow Master Jinn to apply some cream will you?"
He glanced at Qui-Gon who had the tube of cream in his hands. "Yes, I don't think I can do it myself."
Qui-Gon helped him take off his tunic and began smoothing the relieving balm all over his body. It felt nice and in a quiet voice he said "Thank you."
The Doctor came in seeing the cream being administered. "The rash will begin to clear in a few days and if you don't feel sick then you can get up, but keep out of the sunlight for a while."
"When can I return to Chandrila?"
"Once the rash goes, and your temperature comes down. Also I would prefer that you don't stay on your own while you regain your strength from your other injuries."
He looked blankly at the Doctor, knowing that everyone he knew had gone home to Chandrila; or as with Padmè to Alderaan.
However before he could comment; Yoda spoke.
"Remain here on Naboo; care for young Obi-Wan we will. If consent to it he does."
"What do you say Obi-Wan?" the Doctor asked.
He held back a retort (I'm not a child!) but said. "If they are your orders doctor then that will be fine."
.
.
He couldn't believe after all his efforts to avoid Jinn; now the man was babysitting him. He felt quite self-conscious; being escorted through the halls by these two Jedi, especially Master Jinn.
He still felt weak and the walk was slow to the apartment the Queen had offered them.
Memories of Master Durron filled him, and he wondered what it would have been like to walk next to him as his official apprentice, and what his old master would think about this situation.
Then he remembered Master Jinn still had his sabre. He felt sadness fill him knowing that when they went back to their temple it would go back with them. Deep down he knew that was the right thing to do, but it hurt nevertheless.
At least he still had the statue, the journals and books, and the embroidered temple cloth to remind him of his master.
Once they were in the apartment, he was feeling worn out and Qui-Gon opened one of the bedroom doors offering it to him.
"I don't want to lie down yet; I'd like to sit and relax for awhile."
Qui-Gon draped a blanket over the couch. "I'll see about getting us some food."
He sat on the couch watching the holo news. He was feeling itchy again, but didn't want to disturb the Jedi and he tried hard to ignore the sensation, however without thinking he rubbed his arms.
Qui-Gon came back with a plate of food for Obi-Wan and saw him scratching.
"Obi-Wan!" he said quickly which made him jump.
Qui-Gon realised that the youth was nervous and he would have to make a concerted effort not to surprise him like that.
"I'm sorry Obi-Wan; it's just that the healer said you shouldn't scratch. Let me rub some more cream on you?" Qui-Gon inquired.
Obi-Wan moved his hands away from his body and nodded.
He knew it was disrespectful just nodding, but why should he keep thanking the man who didn't want him.
The cool cream felt nice as Qui-Gon's hands rubbed it on his itchy skin and the gentle massaging made Obi-Wan sleepy.
"Here you better eat something before you fall asleep." Qui-Gon indicated as he handed Obi-Wan his food.
.
He woke from a very peaceful nap and a sensation of peace filled the bedroom.
It was so quiet and he wondered what the two Jedi were doing. He got up and went through the doors into the common room, and both Masters were sitting on the floor meditating, something that Obi-Wan hadn't done for a long time.
The bond he'd shared with Master Durron had been lively and strong, but when he died he didn't want to feel the emptiness, and the few times he ventured to meditate there was an echo of pain and sadness in his mind.
He stood in the doorway studying the two Jedi for a moment, and then he moved off into the kitchenette, and made a cup of kaffa.
000
"Ah Caff, that smells good." Qui-Gon said as he walked up to him making a noise so not to startle him. Obi-Wan glanced at him and didn't want to be rude again. "Would you like one?"
"Yes thank you."
They went back in the common room were Yoda was still meditating. Obi-Wan sat on the couch holding his mug.
"Do you meditate?" Qui-Gon asked.
"No."
When Qui-Gon didn't ask any more questions, Obi-Wan began to wonder why. He expected to be grilled thoroughly on his past. So he decided to ask.
"Why do you want to know?"
"I was just curious; you have skills beyond those of an untrained Jedi, and I was just
Wondering." he trailed off. He didn't want to pry.
"Wondering… if someone trained me?" Obi-Wan finished for him.
"Yes?"
Qui-Gon sensed flair of annoyance coming from Obi-Wan with his answer, and before he realised it a voice in his head confirmed Obi-Wan's thoughts.
(Is it so impossible to think that someone might want to train me?) Qui-Gon heard it loud and clear in his mind.
Qui-Gon gazed at him; however the young man had put his head down and was staring at his mug.
He was surprised that he'd heard Obi-Wan's thoughts and he glanced Yoda's way, and saw the smile on the troll face. He had heard him too.
They watched him as he gripped the mug tighter. It hadn't registered with him that he'd projected his thoughts. The young man kept his eyes focused on the cup in his hands, but they were shaking.
"Whoever it was did an excellent job?" Qui-Gon said kindly trying to calm the tense situation.
"What?" Obi-Wan said, drawing his emotions back in line.
"Whoever trained you did an excellent job." Qui-Gon repeated his words.
Obi-Wan stared into his cup; nodding.
"What was his name?" He asked.
He finally looked up at Yoda who was looking at him also.
"Didn't you tell him Master Yoda?"
"For you to tell Master Jinn it is!" Yoda exclaimed.
He held Qui-Gon's gaze for a moment, knowing that he could refuse, but it was a sign of respect for his late master that made him want to speak of his kindness.
"Master Cass Durron was his name. Master Yoda knew him."
"Knew him a long time I did, an excellent Master and renowned teacher. Accompanied me on many missions he did, and trained many padawan's in his two hundred years." Yoda stated.
Obi-Wan smiled. "He said I was his unofficial apprentice, because he was no longer active in the order."
"Why did he leave the order?" Qui-Gon asked Yoda.
"Master Durron, like you in many ways he was. Argued with the council he did. Not a supporter of our allegiance with the Senate. Felt he did that losing our identity we were."
Qui-Gon nodded, but let Yoda continue.
"Did not support the re-assignment of our younglings to the Agri-corps, and lost faith in the direction the order was going. When knighted his last apprentice he did, took the position of pilot on the exploration ship; called the sun seeker; informed me that leaving the temple to follow the Force as he believed it should be followed."
Qui-Gon unclipped the light sabre from his belt turning it in his hand. "This belonged to your Master?"
"Yes, he said I could use it until we found a crystal so I could build my own. He altered it slightly so it was balanced for my hand."
"It looks very old, and is in good condition."
"I practiced with it and cleaned it every day. We would meditate every evening and connect with the flow of the Force. He was my master for two years, but he died two days before we reached Chandrila."
"I'm sorry Obi-Wan; he sounds like he was a great mentor."
"He was and he is still teaching me through his journals. He told me that when he became a knight he decided to write down everything he learned and he entered the techniques he taught his padawan's into journals. He gave them to me to study. His legs weren't as flexible as they used to be and he couldn't stand for too long. He demonstrated the moves and I practiced them. When I'm home on Chandrila; I continue to improve myself."
Qui-Gon sensed a shift in Obi-Wan's aura as he opened up speaking about his master. He could tell that those two years had been a happy time in his life.
"Were you going to make your own sabre?"
"Master Durron said he would help me once we left the sun seeker. He asked me to return to the temple with him."
"Master Durron, was bringing you back as his apprentice so you could finish your training?"
Obi-Wan tensed, he couldn't tell if Master Jinn disapproved or not.
.
Yoda sensed his discomfort and ended the story. "Contact me when reach Chandrila was his plan, but called home to the Force was Master Durron. A good life he had. Left all his belongings to Obi-Wan he did."
Qui-Gon dipped his head, and held out the sabre to Obi-Wan. "Then this is yours."
Obi-Wan's shame flared. "You of all people know that I can't keep it. I'm not a Jedi, only Jedi are allowed to have sabres!" He said turning away.
"I don't want to talk anymore; I'm going to lie down."
It didn't take long before Obi-Wan fell asleep, and Qui-Gon made two fresh cups of Caff and handed one to Yoda.
"Master Yoda, you said that Master Durron was a respected member of the order. If he accepted Obi-Wan for training, and that training was cut short, doesn't he have the right to continue his training?"
"Has happened in the past, however, not sanctioned by the council was their union."
"What can we do?" Qui-Gon asked.
"Wait, push him we cannot. Be honest with him we must; if want him to return to the temple with us we do."
"Do you think telling him about Bruck will make a difference?"
"A dark time in his life it was and also for you; the truth comes hard, but healing must commence before trust comes." Yoda stated.
Qui-Gon knew he was right; his past mistakes had impacted on Obi-Wan through no fault of his.
"You heard his thoughts earlier didn't you?"
"Yes, a fractured bond he has; never closed when his master died. Searching for an anchor it is, and causes him pain it does." Yoda confirmed.
"If that happened to a padawan at the temple; the Jedi would have helped him close it. That's why he doesn't meditate he doesn't understand why he feels pain and loss."
"Needs guidance does the young one, and closure of his open bond." Yoda added.
"What if he refuses our help, he has no reason to believe anything I would say to him after the way I treated him." Qui-Gon said expressing his concerns.
"Time we have, give up we will not." Yoda said.
TBC