...
Obi-Wan felt control of his life returning to him after the Doctor examined him; clearing him to fly home.
He'd been in touch with Lance; who was leaving Chandrila in a few days to begin his flight training in the Air corps, and he'd been worried that he wouldn't make it home in time.
Leaving the room with his bag slung over his shoulder, he was surprised to find Yoda and Jinn at the spaceport.
A sense of sadness overcame him, thinking they were going back to their temple. He knew it was too late to change the past, but their re-emergence in his life had turned it upside down and he was more confused than before.
"Master Yoda, Master Jinn; I expect you are heading back to Coruscant now?"
"To Chandrila we go, much to discuss with you, we have."
"You're coming with me! Why? I don't see what we have to discuss! You are Jedi and I'm not. I have my life and you have yours. There is nothing more to say, the past is history." He said hurrying up the ramp.
.
Qui-Gon hesitated and peered down at Yoda. "What if we are making a mistake? He seems adamant that he doesn't want to talk to us."
"Fear of failure holds him back. Making a mistake we are not! Patient we will be."
.
000
.
As the transport glided across the prairie toward the spaceport, Obi-Wan gazed through the view screen at the blue waters of the lake where he and Lance spent a great deal of time swimming.
The trip had been uneventful and he'd avoided the Jedi most of the trip, but now they were about to land and he wondered what was in store for him.
Lance was leaving to follow his own path in life, and then there was Padmè. He liked her a lot, but she was a busy woman and he might not see her for several years; would she forget him too.
Once again every one he cared about was moving on, would he ever find purpose in his life, or was he going to be alone once more?
As he walked down the ramp he felt his worries disperse when he saw the waiting welcoming party gathered on the landing platform.
Lance was the first to pull him into a hug and the senator did the same, much to Obi-Wan's embarrassment.
Obi-Wan didn't handle being the centre of attention very well, but took their praise of his bravery with grace and charm. Many were friends, work colleagues, house staff, and gardeners.
Qui-Gon noticed and commented. "You have many friends Obi-Wan…They regard you as one of their own! You are a fortunate man."
Qui-Gon saw a sadness rise in those changeable eyes. It was the look of someone not sure of his place; not certain that he was fortunate.
.
"This is my home, and they have accepted me, even with my faults."
Qui-Gon heard the barb aimed at him, but he ignored it. He knew he had a long way to go before the hurt and pain subsided.
.
After the welcome home luncheon wound down, Qui-Gon noticed Lance and Obi-Wan leaving together on speeders.
"Senator Mothma, may I ask where they are going?" Qui-Gon asked.
"The boys have a custom whenever we come home from our duties. They race around Wisdom hill, and then they swim over to that island." she pointed to the island in the middle of the lake.
"They usually explore for a while and sit on the beach and talk; then they swim back. This will be the first time in three years that they'll be separated. I suppose they have a great deal to discuss, but they'll be back before evening meal." She said noticing the concerned look in his eyes.
"You like Ben... I mean Obi-Wan, don't you Master Jinn?"
"Yes I do, although he doesn't believe that I like him at all." he smiled a sad smile.
"May I ask why you believe that?"
"I hurt him badly when he was an initiate at the Temple." he admitted.
"I made the biggest mistake of my life when I refused to take him as my apprentice, and I made him feel like a failure. I don't think he will ever forgive me."
Mon Mothma raised her eye brows. "I wouldn't be so sure of that Master Jinn; Ben has a very forgiving nature."
"I hope you're right senator."
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000
.
Obi-Wan stepped into his apartment for the first time in two weeks; closing the door behind him; he let out a sigh. (Home)
He was looking forward to a hot shower after his swim and a change of clothes ready for the banquet tonight for Lance's farewell.
As he walked past the side table, that blasted lamp caught his attention.
Sinking down onto the couch he stared at its ugly glory. It was identical to the one he'd broken that day in the temple when Bruck tripped him over.
Then, Qui-Gon told him he was destined for the dark side, and took Bruck as his apprentice.
He glared at the lamp, and felt like smashing it. Wondering why he'd even bought it in the first place.
It hadn't made him feel better having it here to remind him of his failures.
Obi-Wan grabbed the box out of the cupboard and put the lamp in it. That way if he decided to give it to Qui-Gon when they left it would be already packed.
A knock on his door surprised him; sensing the Jedi's presence on the other side. At first he thought of ignoring them, but that would only give Jinn another reason to complain about him.
Opening the door he invited them in. "I am quite capable of finding my own way to the dining hall, you know?"
"Know this we do, however know where it is we do not!" stated Yoda.
Obi-Wan almost smiled, however he hid his amusement as he turned away.
"Very well; I won't be a minute." He said going into his bedroom.
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Qui-Gon noticed the discolouration on the side table where something with a round base had previously sat.
"Master Yoda, do you remember that Setla lamp I told you about?"
"Yes, sad day that was for Obi-Wan, sealed his fate that lamp did." Yoda confirmed.
Qui-Gon lowered his head in shame for a moment and then he pointed to the table.
"The senator told me he bought one just like it, and if I am not mistaken, that is where it stood." he indicated.
Yoda moved closer touching the spot. On the other end was an embroidered fabric. It depicted the outline of the Jedi temple, and standing on it was a small wooden statue.
He turned it around and both Jedi saw that it was a carving of a Jedi padawan.
Yoda moved toward the book shelf along the wall. He studied the covers; most were educational journals to do with navigation, science, physics, and chemistry.
On another shelf stood several volumes of the history of the galaxy and next to them, Yoda picked up the leather bound personal journals that were hand written by Cass.
Opening the first one he recognised the writing on the inside page, in flowing italics were the words. To my padawan Obi-Wan, never give up your dreams. Master Cass Durron.
Obi-Wan came out of his room, he was feeling stronger, and he had control of his shields now. Nevertheless, they faltered slightly when he noticed them looking at the journals.
"Master Durron honoured me with such valuable journals; I didn't expect him to give them to me."
"Truly a wonderful gift he gave his padawan." Yoda said.
Yoda's reference to padawan sent a flare of pain through the Force.
"I will always be grateful to him, for believing in me." He said touching the statue.
"I'm ready to go now, if you are?" He said abruptly.
.
ooo
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Arriving at the dining hall, he showed them to a table and they sat down, however Obi-Wan remained standing and said, "I'm eating with Lance, so 'good evening' to you. I hope you enjoy your meal." he said bowing before moving away.
Yoda's ears flattened out and he sighed, and Qui-Gon's frustration showed through. "How can we make it right if he won't give us a chance?"
Stubborn he is, like another I know." Yoda implied looking at Qui-Gon.
"Well I can be just as stubborn as he can be." Qui-Gon agreed.
Yoda blinked. "Of that I am sure!"
000
.
Excitement flowed through Lance as he boarded the ship, taking him away to a new phase in his life. Obi-Wan couldn't help smile at the grin lighting up his friends face as he waved goodbye.
The ship lifted off and Obi-Wan followed its track across the sky until it disappeared from view.
His hands were resting on the railing when an uneasy sensation filled him. From his position high above the landing platform, he had a clear view of the now crowded port where passengers made their way to the exit gates.
He drew on the Force checking for anomalies. The same distorted disturbance he'd felt on Naboo that morning in the garden, assailed him. It was when he thought Master Jinn was in danger.
Something was amiss; he scanned the area intently for anything out of the ordinary.
One being stood out, but he couldn't distinguish what it was about him that caused his concern.
Abruptly the robed figure turned and lifted his head up. There was a void in the Force, and Obi-Wan raised his shields. The hood moved slightly before pale hands pulled it down over his scarred face and then he turned hurrying through the doors.
Obi-Wan's curiosity sent him running down to the exit to catch up with the man, and question him. By the time he got through the crowd, whoever it was had disappeared.
He would report this incident to the Commander and keep his eyes open for him, as there was always the risk of assassination attempts, but he doubted this had anything to do with Jinn.
Nothing happened to Jinn on Naboo, and he was certain if anyone was following the master, he was capable of sorting it out.
Thinking about the Jedi, he felt guilty that he'd been avoiding them since returning to Chandrila.
Perhaps now with Lance away he should talk to them so that they can return to their lives and let him return to his.
After giving his report to the commander and a description of the cloaked man, he headed to the Jedi's apartment. He wanted to let them know of the strange being at the space port.
He knocked, but sensed they weren't there and unexpectedly, a sense of loss filled him and he wasn't sure if he wanted them to leave just yet.
(What if they've gone already; maybe I should have been nicer to them. No! I'm certain they wouldn't leave without saying goodbye.)
He was confused, and he didn't know what he expected from Master Jinn. The past was past and nothing could ever bring it back. He had to look forward and to do that he should forgive him.
He imagined that was what Qui-Gon sought. Just like that, forgive and forget. Obi-Wan doubted if he would ever forget, but he hoped he could forgive.
His mind was filled with doubt, and feelings of failure surfaced again. He wasn't thinking clearly, and knew that it did no good to continue to blame Qui-Gon for everything; after all it was as much his own fault for falling for Bruck's tricks in the first place.
Master Yoda told him many times in his younger days that his future was in his hands, and he'd let Bruck destroy it.
He remembered when he first met Master Jinn all those years ago; he sensed the Force drawing them together, and he worked hard to prove that he would be a good choice, but the man seemed unapproachable and the more he tried the further Qui-Gon stepped away from him.
Did he try too hard or not hard enough? His mind was filling with all sorts of questions. He needed to clear his head and swimming usually helped clear his thoughts.
He took his time swimming out to the island. It was a lovely day and the water was warm. Once he got there he decided that it was time to let the past go. Relaxing on the beach soaking up the sun a voice startled him.
"Hello Obi-Wan?"
tbc...