Thanks to those who sent messages. I have finally sorted out this chapter in-between life and work. *_* (enjoy)
000
Sitting up, his first reaction was to be angry, but he'd had time to reflect and it was time to grow up and take responsibility for his own life.
"Master Jinn, what are you doing here?" He said glancing past him to see a row boat on the sand.
"I saw you swim out here and I sought to speak to you. As it does appear that you are avoiding me."
"I've had a lot on my mind and coming here helps me to think straight."
"I will leave; if that's what you want, but I hope that you don't."
Obi-Wan gazed up past the tall man standing over him, to the sun. It was blazing down and if he remained out in the glare of the sun, he would burn very quickly.
"I don't, but I believe it prudent to sit over there in the shade."
Qui-Gon felt a ray of hope fill him, knowing that this was really the first chance Obi-Wan had given him since they first saw him on Naboo.
Obi-Wan sat on the sand under the shade of a ledge jutting out from the hillside, and waited for Qui-Gon to get comfortable.
"What do you want to speak about?"
Qui-Gon accepted the opening and nodded. It was going to be awkward, but he knew that keeping anything back now would damage any hope of a relationship with the young man.
"I've learnt a great deal about you and your journey through life since you left the temple, or rather since I caused you to leave. I believe I owe you an explanation."
He sensed a slight twinge of sadness through the Force, but it was quickly tamped down by the young man.
"What I want to tell you isn't an excuse, or justification for the pain I caused you. It is to prove to you that you were never unworthy. I'm not doing this to gain your forgiveness, but I do want to apologise for everything I put you through."
Obi-Wan leant back against the rock face, "I find that difficult to believe."
"That you're worthy, or the pain I caused?"
Obi-Wan let the sand run through his fingers as he contemplated his answer.
"That I was worthy."
He gazed up at Qui-Gon. "I did listen to you before when you suggested that Bruck was still controlling my life even after all this time, and I realised that I couldn't blame you for all my pain. If I am to be honest as well, I did allow him to rule my emotions. That was my own fault."
Qui-Gon shook his head. "Perhaps you should listen to the sequence of events before you give me absolution for your pain."
"There's a sequence of events?" He said squinting.
"Yes it began when I was apprenticed to my master, Dooku. He was an older statesman, well respected for his integrity and professionalism. He taught me the ways of the Force, but we clashed. I was brash and head strong and I allowed my emotions to rule me. He said that I had a distorted view of the Force and that would be my downfall one day."
Obi-Wan didn't know Dooku, so he kept quiet.
"When I attained knighthood I resented his inference that I was egotistical, and objected to being told I was wrong, even if it were true. He suggested that I shouldn't take an apprentice until I learnt the true nature of power and the Force."
"But you didn't listen?"
"No, I was so sure that I was right and I wanted to prove him wrong. So, many years ago, before you were born, I chose an apprentice. He had a high midi-chlorian count and I was attracted to his power. He dazzled me with his sabre control and I was certain he would leave his mark as a powerful Jedi."
"Master Durron, told me that power or high midi-Chorians, do not necessarily mean you will attain greatness as a Jedi." Obi-Wan said.
"I was told that as well, but of course I didn't listen, and I fought with the council over my apprentices training, and in reality I spoilt him. In my eyes he could do no wrong. Nevertheless, he was a bully and very deceitful and in the end he turned into a dark Jedi. I let my humiliation and pride control me and I swore never to take another apprentice."
"But you did, and in my opinion Bruck was just like the one you just mentioned."
Qui-Gon nodded.
"When you were eleven, Master Yoda asked me to watch you being tutored.
You were in the map room being instructed by him. It was a lesson in Force sight."
"I had many lessons in the Map room. Master Yoda said I had an uncanny ability to see things that others didn't see. Master Durron said it too when he began my training. He said I had a holographic mind, and I was gifted with the ability to see sincerity and common sense."
"Yes, Yoda wanted to show me that there were other points to power than just having brute strength. Abilities came in many forms and Master Yoda believed you could help me and I should expand my teaching philosophy and take you as my padawan."
"But you didn't think so?" Obi-Wan asked.
"I didn't like being told; although deep down I knew he was right... The truth is I was afraid. Not because I thought you were unworthy, but I felt unworthy to instruct someone with an intellect like yours."
"What do you mean?"
"Your strength was your capacity to learn. You had principles and even though your emotions ruled you; wisdom and perception grew in you; giving you the ability to tap into the force and achieve great skill and agility. Skills I did not learn until I was much older than you."
"You thought I was too good for you?"
"Yes, I was afraid that I would ruin your chances to become a great Jedi."
Qui-Gon felt grief and sadness fill the young man. "Well if I was so worthy why didn't someone else choose me?"
"I asked Master Yoda that question and he said that the Force directed him to say no when masters formally asked him. Do you remember Knight Kepler?
.
"Knight Andre Kepler? Yes, he was killed on a mission. I remember going to his funeral when I was twelve." Obi-Wan said.
"Well he put in a request for you, just before his last mission. However, Master Yoda felt a disturbance in the Force at his request. He told Knight Kepler he would reflect on his request and give him an answer in time."
"A disturbance in the Force, did Master Yoda know he was going to die?"
"No, that wasn't clear to him, only that he should defer his request at that time."
"Oh!"
"Master Jocasta Nu, asked Yoda, but he sensed you and she wouldn't have worked well together.
"Master Nu, wanted me as her apprentice? I didn't think she liked me. When I borrowed books from the library; she said that I had a tendency to forget to bring them back. It happened once, and that was because I was sick in the healers." He shook his head.
"I suppose I should thank Master Yoda. I definitely, didn't want to be a librarian. I always felt my destiny was to serve the Jedi as a Guardian."
"I know; Master Yoda knew that I should choose you for that reason. But as I said my fear and my past failure haunted me. I convinced myself that you were better off not being my padawan."
"And then I broke your lamp. I saw it in your eyes; you were determined not to take me."
"I am ashamed to say you are correct. It was my excuse."
"What I don't understand is why did you take Bruck if you didn't want any apprentice?"
"I was obstinate and wilful and I sensed that Yoda wouldn't let me ignore you. He can be just as stubborn. He would continue to press me to take you, so in my narrow-mindedness and in the heat of the moment I chose Bruck to prevent that from happening."
"I see, I was collateral damage and taking Bruck gave you a way out."
"Yes, I fell into my own self-made trap and you suffered for it."
"Master Yoda told me that Bruck isn't your apprentice, will you tell me why?"
.
It was hard for Qui-Gon to admit his mistakes, but it was imperative that he was honest with Obi-Wan.
"I'm sure Bruck sensed from the beginning that I regretted taking him. It wasn't long before my burgeoning guilt over you clouded my teaching abilities. I tried to inspire him, but we couldn't connect."
For a moment Obi-Wan, felt sorry for Bruck.
.
"Bruck became secretive and was in trouble all the time. Shortly before the volcano erupted, I wanted to confess my fault in taking him, and find him another master. Yoda returned from his sabbatical and I begged him to let me go and bring you home, but he was furious with me and said he was going to go to Thyferra and bring you back himself. Then it erupted, but Yoda still refused to let me go with him to find you. He was right I had destroyed your life and I already had a padawan."
"When I left with Master Durron, Bruck was still your padawan?"
"In name only, yes. He was under suspicion of stealing and when he thought you died he became unmanageable and eventually, he revealed his disdain for the Jedi and me. He said that he hated being a Jedi and now that you were dead; all that was left was to destroy me and then his revenge would be complete."
"He wanted to kill you too?"
"Yes, he stole explosives and planted a bomb hoping I would be killed, but he was caught in the explosion and died instead."
Obi-Wan gazed at Qui-Gon and could see how hard it had been to admit his failures and he felt grateful to Master Durron, realising that he'd been fortunate that he took him as his apprentice.
"Then I am grateful that Master Durron took me away!"
Qui-Gon nodded. "He probably saved your life. I'm certain that if Master Yoda found you and brought you back to the temple; Bruck would have found a way to kill you."
Obi-Wan nodded. "You know, when I was sent away, I thought my dreams would never come true, and it wasn't until I met Master Durron that he reminded me that my destiny was viable and my life had meaning. I learnt more about life and people from him in two years, than at the temple in twelve." He said digging his toes in the sand.
"Did you know that Master Yoda knighted Master Durron?"
Qui-Gon shook his head. "No I didn't know that."
.
A voice on the ledge above Obi-Wan harrumphed good-naturedly, hearing his name mentioned.
"Knighted many younglings I did; remember padawan Durron's knighting most of all. Dedicated padawan he was; an excellent knight he became and trained many padawan's he did."
"Master Yoda!" Obi-Wan said as the old Jedi levitated down to the sand. "I had a feeling you were here somewhere."
"Hiding from you I was not; exploring this island I was."
Obi-Wan gazed up at the hill behind Yoda. "Master Durron loved exploring as well, he taught me all about untamed places, and following the hyperspace routes, I met and learnt about beings that I'd never heard of before."
"Yes, a great pilot he was and a seeker of knowledge."
"He did enjoy piloting and he taught me how to pilot quite a few ships when time permitted. I loved to hear his stories of his life and adventures. I do miss him." He said rubbing his temples.
"Obi-Wan, there is a reason why your head aches when you think about your master and open to the force to remember him. When he died, he left behind a fractured bond."
"A fractured bond, what do you mean? My bond died with him didn't it?"
"No, sense it we can, an echo of his bond with you refuses to let go. Meditate you cannot, because hurt you it does!" Yoda said.
"How do you know?"
"Happens to some padawan's when the master dies; learn to close it you would if trained in the temple. Show you how to close the frayed ends a healer would."
"Well I'm not in the temple am I!" he snapped losing his centre as he rubbed his head.
"Obi-Wan, Master Yoda isn't saying it to hurt you. We can help you close it and then the ache you feel in your head will subside and you will be able to meditate. We want to help you, I want to help you! Please let me guide you."
He shook his head. "Why! Why now, when it's too late?"
"It's not too late, I know you are meant to be a Jedi, come back to the temple with me and finish your training."
.
"With you!.. The Jedi who told everyone I would turn to the dark side?"
"Yes, I was wrong Obi-Wan; you can show them how wrong I was, prove it to them, you know you want too."
It took a great deal of control for Obi-Wan not to yell back at him and say 'I do want to show them that you were wrong!'
His head throbbed and his eyes stung, but being angry with him wasn't going to fix anything.
"That life as a Jedi is gone for me; my life is here. I have a job." He said softly reigning in his annoyance.
"Gone it is not, only gone if refuse to take it back. A choice you have now to be a Jedi or not."
He listened to Master Yoda's words and there was truth in Yoda's eyes. The old master still believed in him."
"It was all I ever wanted to be!"
"Then let me do what I should have done. Give me the opportunity to fulfil your dreams and your late master's dreams. Let me finish what Master Durron began for you. Finish your training; fulfil your destiny." Qui-Gon stated.
"It isn't possible; the Council will never accept me?"
"Accepted you they would if Master Durron had lived to bring you back to the temple three years ago. His apprentice you were, rite of passage you have.
A masterless padawan must be allocated another master to complete the transition from apprentice to knight. Master Jinn complete your training he will. Show the council your commitment you will."
"Obi-Wan I will fight for you, and I have confidence that you will succeed." Qui-Gon stated.
"I can't think straight, my head is aching and this is all too much." he said holding his head.
"For now tie off your broken bond we will; heal your wound and clear your mind then meditate you can. Meditation will bring peace and clarity." Yoda explained.
"How can it still be here in my head after three years?"
"Clinging to it you are, worry you do that to let him go will dissolve your chance to be a Jedi."
"He was so kind to me." Obi-Wan whispered at tears filled his eyes.
Qui-Gon settled in front of Obi-Wan on the sand and held his hands out. "Will you allow me to let him go? Will you trust me?"
Obi-Wan wiped his face, and turned toward Yoda his eyes pleading for an answer.
"Do or do not young Obi-Wan."
.
He stared intently at Qui-Gon's hands, it was now or never. He had to let his fears go and move forward.
A slight nod gave Qui-Gon his answer. Reaching across he put his hands on the young man's temples.
"Close your eyes, and let the Force enter your mind through my fingers."
A sensation of warmth touched twisted sinews and raw nerve endings. A gentle touch from the flow calmed tense muscles, and feelings of loss and anxiety moved from deep within his mind from the centre of thought and emotion to the outer edges of perception.
A flash of lessons in the hold of the Sun Seeker rose in his thoughts.
Master Durron taught him how to use his agility and reflexes to complete each stage of the obstacle course he'd built in the cargo hold.
Inwardly Obi-Wan smiled at the memory. It was a good time in his life, before the emptiness took hold again.
Slowly the ache in his temples dispersed; being replaced by fond memories and a clear bright path filled the empty spaces. He only had to accept the light before him and his destiny was attainable.
Qui-Gon's living Force entered Obi-Wan's mind ensuring he didn't violate his personal space and followed the traumatized bond to its end.
He sensed their lively connection and his own shame tried to surface knowing he was the reason Obi-Wan had such doubts about his worthiness.
He sensed through his connection that Obi-Wan had been a dedicated and willing student.
Closing the bond was a delicate process and he took great care to do it without causing any further pain to the student.
Qui-Gon couldn't help notice the untainted and untapped potential in the young man's psyche.
It brought home his failure to follow the Forces urgings all those years ago.
.
000
.
Time was inconsequential as he rose to awareness; a state of mental calm and serenity filled him. His eye lids fluttered open and as he focused his gaze caught the deep blue eyes of Master Jinn.
Glancing past him the sun was setting and Master Yoda sat in the small boat. Apparently, they'd been meditating for a long time.
"Master Durron at peace he is; in good hands he knows you are." Yoda said.
Obi-Wan stretched. He did feel different and he couldn't help the smile that lit his face.
"Hungry I am, return to dining hall we should, before miss last meal I do!" Yoda said.
"Actually, I'm hungry too. I think I should abstain from any more swimming exercise today, and ride back with you in the boat if I may." Obi-Wan said stretching.
.
000
.
With a seeming weight lifted off his shoulders, Obi-Wan slept better than he had for a long time and the buzz of his com-link startled him. For a moment he forgot that as sergeant of the guards, he still had duties to perform and he was late for his morning shift.
Checking his messages, he was required to investigate a robbery down by the water front.
Dressing quickly he headed down to speak to witnesses who saw a man steal a speeder.
Obi-Wan took down the details from the owner and immediately, a bad feeling consumed him.
The description of the man was similar to the one he'd seen at the space port a day earlier. Something didn't sit well and he wondered if this was just a robbery or there was more to it and this man had an ulterior motive.
TBC...