DISCLAIMER: I don't own the song or Naruto.
Summary: It was all just a masquerade. And no one could see through her guise. Or so she thought.
A/N: So, here's another update... After long months of waiting (forgive me. Bows.). But, as usual, I've been ABSOLUTELY busy with school. Most especially since it's the last year of my high school. =).
This is my first EVER song-fic chapter here in KAB… The song used is SMILE, By TAMIA… I actually got the idea for this story in a text message I received around three months . And also, this song is my submission to the song-fic festival in NEJITENPLZ at DEVIANTART. You can check out the link in my profile.
Enjoy!
SMILE
Don't want them to think
the pain runs deep,
Lord knows it's killing me...
So I put on my make-up
Put a smile on my face
Tenten awoke to the cold morning breeze seeping through her thin blanket. Her gaze immediately drifted to the small calendar a few feet away from her bed. She shivered. But it wasn't from the cold, no. It was the 9th of December (1). The day she dreaded the most.
She closed her eyes, hoping to fall asleep again, but in vain.
She lay awake in her bed until finally, the light from outside started to fill her room. The people were starting to come out from their houses. It was getting noisier and noisier.
Tired of lying down and doing nothing, she sat down and stared blankly ahead. It was the first time in years that she didn't wake up in tears on this day, and she planned to keep it that way.
There was no use in crying.
The kunoichi stood up, readied her clothes and headed to the shower. It was always like this. Every year; the same pattern, the same routine.
Finally ready, she headed out of the small apartment she lived in. What to do now? train? go out with friends? It didn't matter though. In the evening, she was sure of where she would end up staying.
By her parent's grave.
She finished everything she needed to do in about an hour, and headed out. As always, she walked through Konoha, with a smile on her face.
She went to the only place she knew would keep her calm. The training grounds of Team Gai.
"Tenten-chan! Ohayo!" Lee greeted her as soon as she stepped to the clearing.
"Hey Lee, where are Neji and Gai-sensei?"
"They left for a mission with Kiba, Tenten-chan. But Gai-sensei told me they'll be back before evening. Just in time for our monthly get-together!"
Tenten groaned. How could she forget? Evey month, Konoha 12 celebrated a 'get-together', courtesy of Ino. Tenten and Neji had skipped it various times because of their training, but she had no intention of flunking the celebration this time. It was one more thing to help her get her mind of things.
The get together…It was something her mother would have planned. Something that would bring people together. She always loved to go to occasions like that… But now…
"Dear flower, What's wrong?" Lee asked, walking towards the kunoichi. "You're gazing off..."
"Wha-?" Tenten stared at her teammate. "Oh it's nothing Lee. I'm fine." She answered, smiling.
"Good then! Now we shall proceed to train our youthful bodies!" Lee shouted, jumping to the air.
Tenten laughed, and prepared her weapons.
It was all just the same routine.
And if anyone asks me,
Everything is okay
I'm laughing cause no one
Knows the joke is on me
Lunch was nearing; Lee had already left to invite Sakura to eat with him, leaving Tenten alone to herself. She gathered her things, and also left the training grounds.
The path from the grounds to the main village was exhausting, so she was lucky when she met Ino along the way. They ate together at the same eatery.
"So, are you going to the reunion later?" the blonde-haired kunoichi asked.
"Yup,"
"At long last," Ino laughed. "What made you change your mind? Is it because Neji isn't here?"
"Very funny Ino." the weapons mistress answered. "And Neji's coming back later. So it makes no difference."
Ino laughed harder. "Well there's no need to be so defensive, I was only teasing."
Tenten just smiled and raised the spoon. Would she really go? Their reunions always took place in the evening. The same time she usually went to the cemetery. Maybe it would be alright if, just this once, she'd visit the graves a bit later. But same as before, she would go alone. There was no need to bring anybody else. There was no need to ruin their days with a long lost event. An event that tore her deep inside, but she would not yield. She would keep on smiling.
"Earth to Tenten?" A hand waved in front of her.
"huh?" Tenten awoke.
"Your daydreaming girl... You've been staring at the cans by the counter for over 10 minutes now."
"I was?" She had no idea she'd been off for that long.
"Well yeah..." Ino put down her spoon. "Are you alright?"
No.
"Yes." She said, forcing another smile.
"Then you better finish your food up." Ino answered, believing every word Tenten had said.
Tenten nodded and took a sip from her glass of water.
The same pattern, the same routine (2).
I'm dying inside
With my pride
And a smile on my face…
On my face…
Singing la la la la
The restaurant was jam-packed, but the same wide circular table was always left out for the Konoha 12's reunion. It was a tradition now, between the owners and the group of 12.
The bun-haired kunoichi entered the noisy, hot atmosphere. Standing on tiptoe, she gazed at their table. They were all there now.
Speeding through the throng of people, she settled down on her chair, the usual one, beside Neji and Lee. They all greeted her and after awhile, went back to gossiping and chatting with each other. All of them except the usual quiet ones; Neji, Sasuke and Shino.
"So how'd the mission go?" Tenten whispered to the Hyuga beside her.
"Same as always."
She just smiled. There was nothing else she could think of saying. No matter what she did, her mind always flashed back to the day 8 years ago.
She was waiting...waiting outside the hospital door. Nobody knew it, but she could peer inside. She could see the blood on her parent's body. She could see them dying.
Her vision started to become blurry. Shit. She thought to herself. Why of all places, would her tears come out here? She closed her eyes, and forced her emotions and tears in. Focus on the food instead.
"You're quiet."
"What?" She turned to Neji, surprised. He rarely talked while eating.
"You're quiet." He repeated, and stared back at her.
She turned away. She hated it when he looked at her like that. "There's nothing wrong with being quiet every once in a while."
There was no reply, but she could still feel his gaze boring down upon her. "Hn." he said, and finally turned back to his food.
Everyone else in the table was laughing, telling stories. But she couldn't join them. She couldn't even hear what they were saying. All she could think of was the day they got buried. It was silly. So many years had passed… But the memories still haunted her.
It was raining; everything seemed to be in black and white. Tenten knelt and held the cold gravel of her parent's grave. It seemed impossible. Only a week ago, her father was dancing with her. Only a week ago, her mother bought her a kunai. Only a week ago, her parents were alive.
She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't stay much longer.
"Guys," She stated, loudly enough for everyone to turn to her. "I'm sorry, but I forgot to do something important... Do you mind if I go ahead?"
They all talked at once, some asking her what the important thing was, some complaining that she would miss the fun, while some asked if she needed some help. In the end though, she found herself leaving the warmth of the restaurant.
She hated it. She hated being like this… Being distracted and lonely. She pulled her jacket tightly around her, and walked briskly through the sidewalk.
Suddenly, she felt a hand pulling hers, forcing her to a stop. Surprised, she turned around.
"Neji!"
She hadn't even noticed him going out of the restaurant. "What are you doing here?"
"Tell me." Was all he replied.
"Tell you what?"
"Tell me what's wrong." He said, gently putting his hands on her shoulders. "Are you okay?"
Here it was again. The same question. And she had the same answer. "Yes." She said, forcing the same fake smile.
She knew what he would answer. She knew what he would do next. He would believe what she said. Like everyone else did.
But instead, he raised his head and looked at her straight in the eyes.
"Tell me the truth."
She stopped. His eyes were boring down on her.
"Tell me why..." He hesitated, and then continued. "Tell me why in this same day, since the year we met, you've always been distant."
He shook his head and continued. "Tell me why there's always that look in your eyes..."
She always thought he didn't know. She always thought he couldn't see. She always thought he like the rest... and believed the smile on her face.
"Why don't you tell me what's wrong?" He looked down at the floor, pain in his eyes.
"I..." She didn't know what to say. All those years... She always thought she was hiding it well, that the mask she wore could be seen by no one. But he did.
She couldn't take it anymore, all the emotions she kept bottled up inside, burst out.
"I'm sorry." She choked out, as tears fell from her face. She covered them up. She didn't want to cry in front of him. Didn't want to show him weakness.
But he didn't reprimand her.
Before she even realized what was happening, she found herself wrapped in his arms, leaning on his chest, with tears pouring out. She was choking out the words and the events that caused her all the pain.
He kept silent, but she knew that he understood. No words slipped from his mouth, but he continued to hold her close.
How long they stayed like that, she didn't remember.
All she knew was that for the first time, she wasn't alone when she visited her parent's grave. She was with someone.
With the one she loved.
END
FOOTNOTES:
1 RANDOM DATE. This isn't based on any fact or something.
2 Sounds familiar? *wink wink* who listens to Eminem?XD
A/N: So… Watcha think? Review!=)