Thank you all so very much! Your responce was amazing!

Chapter 3: Flashbacks

6 years ago

Brittany was carrying her baggage through the streets of NY. She was totally lost but totally excited. She was talking to herself. "Come on Brittany, you can do it. You can find the place. Blaine Warbler drew you the best map. He even put some glitter on it. How cute is my NY map!" And she kept wondering around for hours with her hands full of bags, cups of coffee, donuts. At some point she sat on a pavement defeated. "So much for surprise… I guess I should call someone to come and get me. It's getting late." But then she saw someone; a familiar figure. "Oh that's Kurt, isn't he? He must be him. Come on, Britt." She lifted her things and followed Kurt who was entering a building. "Yes! This is the place! I actually found it by myself. Now I'm waiting for Kurt to go inside and then I knock. I'm a great planner!" Kurt entered his apartment. Brittany waited for another 10 minutes and knocked the door. She heard people talking from inside and footsteps coming closer. "This is it, Britt. Full circle!" The door opened and Brittany saw in front of her Santana; more beautiful than ever. She did come for her but seeing her standing in front of her did surprise her. She was lost at words. Santana's wide eyes weren't helping. Brittany realized at that moment that she didn't really expect to see Santana again even though she was fighting for that all through her second senior year. "Say something, dump!" she told to herself. And the she smiled and spoke the only words that were on her mind.

Brittany: Full circle!

Santana: Huh!?

Brittany hearing Santana's voice found her strength again. She smiled at Santana.

Brittany: Full circle, Santana. Now our distance is about one step.

Santana blinked for the first time since she opened the door and a single tear fell from her eye.

Brittany: Can you handle one step, Santana? 'Cause that will be our distance, one step from each other.

Santana: I… I can handle… one step…

Then Brittany dropped her things on the floor and opened her arms.

Brittany: Close it then!

And with that Santana fell in Brittany's arms. Brittany laughed and lifted her from the ground in a bridal way and entered the apartment screaming.

Brittany: I got my girl back! I made it! (Santana was holding her for dear life crying and laughing at the same time) Woohooo! Full circle for Brittany S. Pierce!

Rachel and Kurt rushed to see what was happening but the sight in front of them stopped them.

Rachel: Brittany!

Kurt: Brittany, what are you doing here?

Brittany: I came to take my girl back.

She was still holding Santana and she turned her head and kissed her. Santana cried even more with the kiss.

Santana: Put me down, Britt.

Brittany: No way! I'm not leaving you! I'm just gonna sit on this couch with you in my arms.

Brittany sat on the couch with Santana on her lap. Rachel and Kurt gave them some privacy.

Santana: You don't know… you can't possibly know… how empty I was… without you… You don't know how I regretted leaving you behind… you don't know how much I love you.

Brittany: I don't regret sending you away. You deserve big things, Santana, and if I'm the one that is keeping you away from them, I will always send you away. But… honey… no one can love you more than I do… even if they try… no one can love you like the way I do… you should remember that.

Santana: I know that… I'm not leaving you again, Brittany. For all the things that are worth fighting for… you… us… is the greatest.

Brittany: One step, honey… it's only one step.

They kissed as if the drew life from the contact of their lips.

Eight months later.

Santana was a full NYADA student now and Brittany was taking dancing lessons at a dance school and working in small dance projects around the city.

It was 6 pm and Brittany was waiting Santana outside her school. A few minutes later Santana came out and Brittany surprised her with a huge hug.

Brittany: NYADA's best singer just came out, ladies and gentlemen, and it happens to be one's Brittany S. Pierce's girlfriend! Coincidence? I think not!

Santana laughed. Ever since she got back with Brittany she was feeling a constant feeling of happiness and fullness She was feeling like a god, like some super hero who could do just about everything. She was at her best. She was chasing her dream to be a singer and she was actually good at that. And all thanks to Brittany's return, thanks to Brittany's arrival to NY and to her life. "Being in your arms like that Britt just makes me best at everything", she thought while Brittany kissed her.

Santana: You are such a dork!

Brittany: And a horny one.

Santana: Brittany, stop! People can listen to us!

Brittany: So? You are mine. I can be horny for you.

Santana: (She laughed.) Ok ok, stop now.

Brittany: (She was leaning to kiss Santana) Stop me…

And Santana kissed her passionately. They broke the kiss and started walking.

Santana: So how come and you came to pick me up?

Brittany: Oh I have great news. Look! (She took a paper out of her bag.)

Santana: What's this?

Brittany: They asked me to do a tour with some artists. How cool is that right?

Santana's heart started beating a little faster.

Santana: That's great! Mmm for how long?

Brittany: Two months tops! So what do you say? I should do it?

Santana: Huh… sure… I mean of course, Britt, it's a great opportunity and the money is good.

Brittany: So are you ok with that?

"Am I?" Santana thought.

Santana: (She smiled at Brittany) Of course, Britt. I'm proud of you.

Brittany: I love you, Santana. Thank god I have you.

Santana: Thank god I have you too.

They stopped walking to kiss each other.

Santana: So when are you going to leave?

Brittany: In a week.

Santana felt a pain rushing through her body. She sighed.

Brittany: Hey… are you sure you are ok with this?

Santana: I'm sure… but I'll miss you, you know…

Brittany: I'll miss you too. But it's not two months without break. I'll be back for a few days here and there. Maybe you can join me in some cities nearby.

Santana: Sure, babe. We'll figure it out.

Brittany: (She hugged Santana tightly) Thank you, Santana.

Santana: (Santana let a few tears to slip) I have you back in my life it's the least I can do.

2 months later

Brittany was entering the building of her apartment with Santana, she was carrying her bags and she was really tired. She reached her apartment and unlocked the door. She was finally back after a two-month tour. She searched for Santana but she wasn't in the living room. And then she heard her singing. Brittany's heart sank when she listened what Santana was singing. She walked to their bedroom and saw Santana singing and crying.

Santana:Do you remember we were sitting there by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine…

Brittany: Why are you singing that song?

Her voice came out harsher than she expected but she was terrified. That was what she expected to find by coming back. Not Santana leaving her again?

Santana: Brittany!

She wiped her tears and run to hug Brittany, but Brittany didn't hug her back.

Brittany: Why are you singing that song, Santana? (Santana continued crying) Are you leaving me?

Santana: No, no. God no! I just missed you. I missed you so much Brittany. I had this feeling again, like last year… I can't stand your absence.

Brittany: I missed you too and I hated all these nights away from you… but I knew I love you and you love me and that eased my pain.

Santana: I know… I know… I'm sorry… I'm sorry, Brittany…

Brittany: I don't want to hear you singing that song again, ok?

Santana: Ok.

Brittany: You are a singer and I'm a dancer. Our jobs have a difficult schedule but we are going to make it. You have to believe it. At the end of the day I'll always be a step away from you.

"That's not true, my love", Santana thought.

Santana: I love you.

Brittany: And I love you more than anyone can ever love you.

They kissed and lay on the bed together.

Two months later.

Santana was in a restaurant having dinner with Rachel and Quinn. Brittany entered the restaurant and made her way quickly to the girls' table. The three girls were surprised to see her.

Rachel: Britt, I didn't know you would join us!

Brittany: As if I was gonna interrupt sacred pezfaberry time!

Quinn: Nonsense! Sit with us! You are still my favorite. (Quinn winked at Brittany.)

Brittany: Thanks, Q!

Santana hadn't spoken up until now. She was feeling something was wrong. It was true. Brittany would never interrupt her weekly dinner with Quinn and Rachel. When she moved to NY she totally respected the bond that Rachel and Santana had made. And Quinn… Quinn was always Santana's best frenemy. So something was wrong.

Santana: What's wrong?

Brittany: (She took a deep breath) Well… nothing is wrong… Can we step outside for a minute? I need to ask you something.

Santana: We don't have secrets from Rachel and Quinn.

Brittany: No, but we have private moments.

Quinn: Girls, it's ok. We can go outside.

Santana: No, Britt, come on, that's rude.

Brittany: Ok here's the thing. I had a proposal… for big job… and I want to ask you if you are ok. I need to answer to them in three hours.

Santana: (Her heart start racing) What kind of job?

Brittany: A world tour with Beyonce. Her choreographer asked for me specifically. I mean it's a great honor, isn't it?

Santana felt like as if every light in the room turned off. Rachel sensed her discomfort and took her hand. Brittany noticed that and got a little angry.

Santana: Of course it is. But… can we have that conversation at home…

Brittany: Santana, I have to give an answer. Do you want me to go or not?

Santana: That's not fair, Brittany. You shouldn't put the burden of your decisions on me. It's your decision to make.

Brittany: So do you want me to make that decision without discuss it with you?

Santana: I didn't mean that… but you can't hold me responsible for your decisions.

Brittany: Santana… if you can't handle it… I won't go. Simple as that.

Santana: I know… but I think it will be more difficult for me to handle the responsibility of holding you back in your career. So… I guess… go for it Britt… we'll figure it out.

Brittany: I love you so much, Santana.

Brittany kissed Santana, said goodbye to the girls and left.

Santana: (She hid her face with her hands) I won't make it. I can't breathe.

Rachel: Hey calm down. Calm down. It'll be ok.

Santana: It won't be. I just got her back and she just keeps leaving. I can't stand it. I can't miss her so much. I can't go through a single day without sharing with her.

Quinn: Santana, relax. It's her job, honey. Aren't you proud of her?

Santana: Of course I am… but that's the way it's gonna be? Be in a relationship by myself?

Rachel: You are overreacting. Besides, Brittany is a dancer. She has only a few years ahead of her that she can really dance. Dancers don't dance after thirty usually. You have to be patient. She loves you.

Santana: I know… but… when she's gone… life goes on without her and that's so hard…

That night Santana was lying on their bed. Brittany joined her.

Brittany: You are sad.

Santana: I can't help it… but I want you to know that I'm very proud of you.

Brittany: Santana, it's just for a little while… just for a little…

Santana: What do you mean?

Brittany: It's just this tour and maybe a couple more if I'm lucky. I just want to experience that, it'll make me a better dancer but I'll stop after those. I'll work here or wherever you are. Please, it's just for a little while.

Santana: Do you promise me?

Brittany: I promise you. Be patient with me now and I'll stop touring soon.

Santana: I love you so much…

Brittany: I love you too. I will always love you. I'm still your best friend right?

Santana: Always.

Six months later.

Santana was on her bed crying hard. She couldn't breathe; she couldn't stand at her own two feet. That's was going on for the last three months. She was missing classes. She was missing deadlines. She was missing life. The decision that had made this morning ripped her heart, but she couldn't, she just couldn't go on… She took her phone and called Brittany.

Brittany: Hey, honey, what's up? (Santana couldn't speak. She was just crying hard) Santana, what's wrong? Something happened? (Santana was saying anything) Santana!

Santana: It's… it's over, Brittany…

And with that she cried even harder. Brittany felt like all the blood that was running in her rushed to her ears and beating in them.

Brittany: What's over?

Santana: we… we are over…

Brittany: You are kidding me, right?

Santana: No… I can't… I really can't anymore… you knew I couldn't handle it… Why did you come back if you were to leave again?

Brittany: (She was yelling out of fear) Are you shitting me Santana? I thought we've talked about that. I thought you understood.

Santana: I did… but I can't… you promised me you would be only one step away.

Brittany: (She was crying now) I am… we are together… I'm just working, Santana… I'm not roaming around the world having fun…

Santana: I know… but I'm here alone… living a life that you don't know…

Brittany: Please Santana, don't do that… please give me some time... I have a break in a month… I'll come back…

Santana: I can't… I can't… I love you more than life itself but I can't stand not having you here…

Brittany: Give me some time, Santana… please… wait for me one last time…

Santana: I want you now… now, can you understand it? Can you be here now?

Brittany: I can't, baby…

Santana: It's over Brittany, you promised… one step…

Brittany: You promised to never leave me again…

Santana: I guess we are even…

Brittany: Give me some time…

Santana: I will always love you the most.

Brittany: Fuck you Santana, just fuck you…

They hang the phone at the same time. They cried their hearts out at the same time. They fainted at the same time.

One month later

Brittany and Santana hadn't spoken to each other for a month. Brittany was functioning like a robot. She didn't return through her break. "Return to whom" she was thinking. Santana was working again hard for her school but it hadn't so much fun as it used to. She was still missing Brittany terribly but now she wasn't waiting for her and that made her pain bearable. She couldn't explain why she was feeling like that but she couldn't denied it either.

One month later.

Brittany had just finished a show. She was exhausted. She returned to her hotel room and threw herself on the bed. Her phone rang and when she saw who was calling she felt an instant pain on her chest.

Brittany: Hello…

Santana: Hey, Brittany.

Brittany: (Her voice was emotionless) Hi.

Santana: Ummm how… how are you?

Brittany: I'm ok…

Santana: Good. So… mmm… I wanted to call you because…

Brittany: Because…?

Santana: (She took a deep breath) Because you are my best friend, Brittany, and I don't want to lose you.

Brittany: It's not making any sense.

Santana: What?

Brittany: You. You are not making any sense.

Santana: Brittany, please. We'll always be best friends…

Brittany: Yes, but right now I'm not ready for that. I haven't get over our break up and frankly I don't know if I'm going to ever get over it.

Santana: I'm not over it either. And I miss you terribly… (She hesitated) you didn't came back on your break.

Brittany: You shouldn't expect me back since you didn't gave me the time that I've asked you.

Santana: I know… (She sighed) but let's be friends, please.

Brittany: You are willing to fight for us to be friends but not a couple. And that stings, Santana. Bye.

One month later.

Brittany was lying on her hotel bed staring at ceiling. She was truly unhappy. Her phone rang. It was Santana again. This past month was thinking about being friends with Santana. She couldn't get over her hurt but Santana was right. They couldn't not be in each other's life. She had to manage and be a friend to Santana because she couldn't go on without her. And if Santana wasn't in love with her it didn't matter, she would still try to make her happy. And maybe when the tour was over Santana would want to try and be together again.

Brittany: Hello!

Santana: Hello, Brittany?

They were trying to sound easy and relaxed.

Brittany: How are you, Santana?

Santana: I'm good.

Brittany: Cool.

Santana: Britt… Please be friends with me again.

Brittany: I'm trying.

Santana: (She sounded happy) Really?

Brittany: (She smiled) Really.

Santana: Thank you! Listen I've got something to tell you.

Brittany: Tell me.

Santana: So… look… this past month… I've been with someone…

Brittany: Excuse me?

Brittany couldn't believe what she was listening.

Santana: Please don't get upset. I'm not cheating…

Brittany: You are filling the blank…

Santana: (She sighed) Nobody can fill your absence, Brittany. Nobody will. I'm just trying to start acting like a normal person.

Brittany: (She was cold) What do you want for me now?

Santana: I want you… in my life…

Brittany: Do you think it's easy for me?

Santana: No. But help me… help me go on.

Brittany took a deep breath and forced a smile.

Brittany: Ok, homegirl.

Santana: What?

Brittany: (She sounded happy) Besties for life, ok? I'm happy for you, homegirl. I'll call you tomorrow to learn about that chick, ok?

Santana: O..ok… mmmm… I love you.

Brittany: Bye, homegirl.

Brittany hung up the phone. And stay frozen on her bed. There are some feelings and thoughts that can be buried the old Brittany S. Pierce way. And when that happened, people thought that Brittany was stupid, because when Brittany buried things she would become the naïve girl everyone made fun of her. She wouldn't try again ever in her life to win Santana back. She would love her to the dying point but she wouldn't try again. Besties for life is good enough. She picked up her phone and called her management company.

Brittany: Hey, Helen!

Helen: Hey Britt! How are you?

Brittany: I'm ok. So listen. The tour is ending in a couple of months. I want you to find me another tour right after this.

Helen: Right after? You don't need a break.

Brittany: No, no. I don't need a break. I signed the second contract.

Helen: Oh… ok. Then I call you in a couple of days. It won't be difficult to find you something, you are starting making a good name in business.

Brittany: Cool. Thanks, Helen.

"Besties for life, Santana, means as far away from you as possible. That's the only way it can be done", Brittany wiped her tears and fell asleep.

Four years later.

Brittany's phone rang. She was taking a shower. She saw Santana's name on the screen and smiled. She answered the phone.

Brittany: Hey, homegirl!

Santana: Hey Britt Britt! What's up?

Brittany: Nothing new. I'm just taking a shower.

Santana: Wanky!

Brittany: You could say that.

They laughed.

Santana: So listen. I have great news. I want you to be the first to learn about it.

Brittany: I'm listening.

Santana: Leslie proposed.

Brittany felt like the entire ceiling was dropped on her head. Her heart had stopped.

Santana: Did you hear me?

Brittany: I did.

Santana: So? Amazing huh? I'm getting married. Snixx is settling down!

Brittany: How cool is that? Ummm Santana someone is on the door. I'll call you later ok?

Santana: Ok, love you.

Brittany: Ok, bye.

Brittany stayed frozen naked on the bathroom for five hours.

Santana was noticing again that Brittany didn't say back "I love you". Santana was missing Brittany loving her. She was missing Brittany so much.

Present Day

Brittany shook her head trying to stop the memories flooding her mind. She was crying. She was feeling so tired, so exhausted. The loneliness of that hospital room was too much to handle. For five years she was trying to avoid Santana, to avoid getting hurt again. But the pain she was feeling now was so much worse. "I may just have to admit that there's no decent life for me away from her… and now it's too late to claim back my life…" She picked up her phone.

Helen: Hello!

Brittany: Hey, Helen!

Helen: Brittany, oh my god! How are you? We were so sad to hear the news.

Brittany: I'm ok, Helen, don't worry.

Helen: Are you still in Italy?

Brittany: Yup. So listen. I guess I'm staying off for a year to heal properly.

Helen: Of course.

Brittany: I want you to find me something based on NY for the next year.

Helen: Are you serious?

Brittany: Yes. I don't care if it's something big or not. Just a job in NY, ok?

Helen: Ok, Britt. Your contract is about to expire anyway so you can change it.

Brittany: Cool.

Helen: I'll call you when I have news for you.

Brittany: Thanks, girl.

Brittany hung up the phone and closed her eyes. Tears streamed down her face.