A/N: Summer = LOVE . So, I just kicked Economic's a**, and I'm feeling pretty good! Semester is finally over, ready to graduate and move on over to UCLA! GO BRUINS! Haha, anyway, that's my life. It also happens to be lapsing into the occasional emo phase, so I thought I'd start our summer off with something a little blue, but still beautiful, as far as I'm concerned. Enjoy! And it is good to be back to my first true love: FF! *hugs* all, I missed y'all!
Nociception
Nociception. The perception of pain. One of the experiences we most try to avoid when it's really one of the most important things keeping us alive. Without it, how would we know when our arms are broken, when to go to the hospital when our hearts need mending? The beautiful thing about pain is it doesn't actually exist. Except for in our heads.
Phantom limbs. The Doctor knew a thing or two about those. He'd read a lot. People lost arms, and every once in awhile, their brains would try to convince them they still had that arm or that leg. Missing fingers would send pain shooting through the brain. Unfortunately, the Doctor had some experience here too. He was missing something far more important than a hand or a toe. What he had was a Phantom Rose, and the pain was constant. Because he had become so used to her, she may as well have been an extension of his body. And the knowledge that he could feel her still so strongly when she was so completely gone was what brought the pain.
When she'd been four-years old, Rose had cut her fingers on an aluminum can. Her mum never had been too careful, but it was her mum who took care of her. She'd patiently bandaged the wound as Rose screamed and cried. It had hurt. A lot. Rose would never have had such a vivid memory of the moment if it hand't been for the terrible pain. "It hurts." She remembered telling her mother over and over. "I know, Sweetheart," her mum had said as she held her. "But that'll go away wif' time, soon as you're better. But, you know, without the hurt, you wouldn' 'ave known you needed a bandage, love. You'd 'ave bled all over my kitchen." Then she'd tickled Rose until she was laughing uncontrollably, the pain forgotten. Her mum had been right. The pain had gone away, and it hadn't taken long. Rose wondered two things. She wondered how long it would take for the pain of losing what she loved most to leave. And she wondered if even her mum could put bandages on her heart.
Some people had it good. They couldn't feel pain. Literally. None at all. Zilch. Nada. Zero. They could walk through fire without feeling the burn, break an arm and keep on going. The downside, of course, was they didn't live long. Jack smiled morbidly. They were the lucky ones still. He was jealous. He couldn't help it. He wondered what it would be like to die by gun, by electric shock, by time...without feeling a thing. And he hoped the heart was as immune as the nerves when it came to that.
Gwen used to think she had an ability, like a superpower or magic. She could feel the pain of others as if it were her own. Somtimes it was a gift. Most times it was a curse. Then she heard of more active anterior cingulated cortices and how people who were already good at empathizing and had those could feel the pain of others. She wasn't special after all. There was a scientific explanation. Science stopped there though because it couldn't stop her from sharing pain that wasn't even hers in the first place.