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Chapter 4: Three days
Brittany was lying on the hospital bed looking outside the window. She tried to be really still and calm. Her already back pain wasn't letting her to completely relax but she was already deep in her thoughts when her doctor came in. She turned and smile at him.
Dr. Sadiny: Good morning, Brittany.
Brittany: Buon giorno!
She laughed at herself.
Dr. Sadiny: Very good!
Brittany: See, I'm a fast learner.
Dr. Sadiny: I see that. And you are healing fast too.
Brittany: Really?
Dr. Sadiny: Yes. You can be released today…
Brittany: (She got really excited) That's perfect!
Dr. Sadiny: (He stopped her) But… you have a long road ahead of you. Your healing process has just begun. So you have two months ahead of you in the plaster cast.
Brittany: Two months? That long?
Dr. Sadiny: Well you are dancer… do you want it back or not?
Brittany: I certainly do.
Dr. Sadiny: I don't recommend surgery on your knee just yet. You have to do a lot of physiotherapy; months of physiotherapy to bring your leg back to its previous state. Now, a normal person wouldn't need a surgery at all, maybe at an older age and if they'd experience balance problems. But for a dancer like you, rupture of the posterior cruciate ligament can affect your ability to dance. So, at a later state I recommend you to have your knee checked on an orthopaedist specialised in dancers.
Brittany: Is that all?
Dr. Sadiny: Yes. You need to rest your leg and absolutely not walk on it these next few months. Other than that you are free to go.
Brittany: Thanks a lot. Thanks for everything, doctor. I owe you.
Dr. Sadiny: You owe me nothing. But there's a small favour I need.
Brittany: Anything.
Dr. Sadiny: My daughter, she's 13, was on the show the day you got injured. She was really devastated. She wants to be a dancer too and seeing you hurt like that shocked her. She actually is a great fan of yours.
Brittany: Fan of mine? Well that's a first! We back up dancers don't get to have fans.
Dr. Sadiny: Well you do. So can you sign me an autograph for her?
Brittany: Of course. But why don't you bring her here to meet me?
Dr. Sadiny: I could do that. You'll be still here around 4pm?
Brittany: Sure. I can't just leave. I need to find someone to help me with papers and flights and stuff.
Dr. Sadiny: Do you need something from us?
Brittany: No, no. I'll call our tour manger or I'll just fly over my parents to come and pick me. But please bring your daughter to meet me.
Dr. Sadiny: Ok, Brittany, see you at 4 pm.
The doctor left the room and silence fell again upon Brittany; although, the conversation with the doctor did cheer her up. But she should find someone to help her go back home and she wasn't used to ask for help for anything; especially after her final break up with Santana, she left and never asked for someone's aid. Her thoughts were once again interrupted by the arrival of the tour manager, Mr. Smith. He entered the room with a smile and went over and gave her a hug. She sat beside her and took her hand in his.
Mr. Smith: How are you, sweetie?
Brittany: I'm good actually. I get to be released today.
Mr. Smith: That's perfect. Listen I'm here to have you sign some papers and help you go back.
Brittany: Oh that's not necessary. It was my fault anyway and it did affect the show. I had stomach issues but I danced anyway so I got dizzy and…
Mr. Smith: Brittany… we were more than happy to have you in our team. You are one of the best in business and we appreciate your devotion to our show. Celine will cover all the hospital charges and you'll go back home with her private plane.
Brittany: (She lowers her head) I can't accept that…
Mr. Smith: Please do. Your place will always be open amongst Celine's dancers.
Brittany: Thank you… it really means a lot…
Mr. Smith: So the plane will be here tomorrow I'm going to discharge you right away and I'll come back tomorrow to get you.
Brittany: Thank you so much.
Mr Smith started to leave but then remembered something and turned back.
Mr. Smith: You are going back to NY right?
Brittany: Ummm no… I'm actually going back to Lima, Ohio.
Mr. Smith: Ok! Have someone to pick you up from there.
Mr. Smith left and Brittany fell to her comfortable silence again. She checked her watch. It was 12pm so that meant that it was 5 am in NY. It was too early to call Santana to tell her the news. She closed her eyes and let herself go down the memory lane. She was used to do that the endless hours on tour buses, flights, hotels. Her life had become a mobile loneliness. She suddenly felt nervous about being back and for so long. She loved and missed everyone, her parents, her friends, Santana, but she learnt to live away from them. She kept their memory alive inside her to keep her company, to keep her grounded, to feel like she has a home somewhere, but she didn't know how to live with them anymore. She didn't know who they grew up to be. And then she thought of Santana again. She was still so in love with her. She still loved her so much but right now she was just wondering if deliberately didn't let her self to get over Santana out of fear or loneliness or obsession? She couldn't tell. She couldn't tell anything anymore. Her life the last five years was focused on her trying to get away. But now she was forced to stay still and meet these people again. She was so afraid. She was so in love with Santana but with the Santana that she'd lost and she didn't know if Santana now was the same Santana with the one she grew up with and loved. "Things can turn good or bad. There are only two options really. So what's to scare about?", she thought and fell asleep.
It was around 6pm and Santana and Leslie returned home from work both exhausted. Santana threw herself on the sofa. Leslie headed to the kitchen to make a snack.
Leslie: What do you want for dinner?
Santana: Whatever you want I'm fine.
Leslie: 'k..
Santana pulled her phone to check her calls. "Nothing from Britt", she thought. That was regularity from her. She would always check her phone and make the same thought if there wasn't a missed call from Brittany.
Leslie came back to the living room with a box. She sat next to Santana.
Leslie: Look, I've found this perfect place that they make wedding invitations and they are just so cute and funny and unique. I took some samples to check them together, what do you say?
Santana: Ummm sure… but isn't it a little too early?
Santana always wanted to avoid conversation about the wedding but she couldn't understand why.
Leslie: Well I know we haven't set a date yet but… when I proposed I didn't plan to stay engaged two years. I mean… why should we wait? We are already five years together.
She kissed Santana and smiled.
Santana: Yes, of course… but… look… I'm really stressed with Brittany's injury… I mean I want to treat her and help her… so…
Leslie: I understand that but why that would have to postpone the wedding?
Santana: She can even walk… I mean... I want her of course in the wedding…
Leslie started to get irritated.
Leslie: And I want her too but I can't see the reason why a person that is not even present in our lives gets to affect our wedding day.
Santana got defensive and angry.
Santana: She is present. She is in my life. So drop it. I want her in the wedding and I want her walking.
Leslie got really mad.
Leslie: Fine. Let me know when you want to get married.
Leslie left the room mad at Santana. Santana sighed, she thought about going to find her but her phone's ring stropped her. She looked the screen and saw Brittany's smily face emerge. It was actually an old photo of Brittany from Santana's graduation from high school. Santana always thought that she'd never looked more gorgeous than that day. That day was also the first entirely sad and happy day at the same time of their lives together. She smiled and answered the phone.
Santana: Hey Britt Britt!
Brittany: Hey, homegirl.
Santana always hated Brittany calling her that. It was the way she chose to address her when she accepted to be friends again. It was Brittany's way to keep Santana at a distance. Santana always hated distance between them. And she will always hate it.
Santana: How are you feeling today? Wait it's really late at night there why aren't you sleeping?
Brittany: (She sighed) Ugh I'm stuck on this bed three days now. I always fall asleep. Besides I wanted to talk to you and I waited for you to get back from work.
Santana: Oh ok! Tell me, hon.
Brittany: So I got to be discharged today!
Santana: (She screamed happily) Really? That's great! But wait! (She panicked) Where are you going to go? Are you all alone there? Do you have anyone to help you? I told I should have come.
Brittany: (She laughed) Relax, homegirl! Everything is okay. My tour manager is here. They are flying me back tomorrow.
Santana: Oh my god really? I mean really?
Brittany: Yeah really! Why are you so excited?
Santana: (She was talking enthusiastically) What do you mean? Because you are coming back. And I'm going to see you, and spend time with you. I'm going to pamper you like crazy.
Brittany: Ummm yeah… look… I'm not coming to NY…
Santana: (She froze) What?
Brittany: I've decided to go straight back to Lima… ummm it's better…
Brittany kept her voice calm and still.
Santana: Better for who?
Brittany: For me. Better for me. And eventually for you.
Santana: (She yelled) Are you shitting me now too, Brittany?
Brittany: Who else is shitting you?
Santana: Leslie. You two are playing with me today.
Brittany: (She got angry but kept talking calmly) Don't compare me with people, Santana. Don't even.
Santana: I didn't mean…
Brittany: I'm going up to Lima. End of discussion.
Santana: (She yelled again) Fuck!
Brittany: You know it's for the best. I won't be able to walk for more than six months. Do you know what that means? I'll need help.
Santana: That's what I'm saying, Brittany. I won't to help you. Please, I want you to come here.
Brittany: No. I'll be out of business for over a year. When was the last time you've spent so much time with me, Santana?
Santana: My point exactly. How long I have to wait to be with you?
Brittany: (She laughed) To be with me? You've got some nerve!
Santana: You know what I mean.
Brittany: Listen to me. You have a partner and a wedding to plan. I can stay in your place for three days but I can't move there for a year. I need to go to my home. And the only home I know now that still exists is Lima. So cut the crap and see how things really are. You are welcome to come and see me in Lima whenever you want.
Santana: This is your home too.
Brittany: No it isn't, Santana. It stopped being long time ago. My stop is always three days in order to see you. But just to see you. Three days top. I can't be with you more than that.
Santana started yelling again and Brittany now felt really angry.
Santana: Can you see it? Even after all those years you keep messing things up. You keep leaving me. (She screamed) You've never loved me!
Brittany paused and talked with even voice.
Brittany: What did you say?
Santana: (She immediately regretted what she said.) Sorry!
Brittany: Tell me what did you say.
Santana: I didn't mean it…
Brittany: And people always thought I was the stupid one.
Santana: Brittany…
Brittany: But yeah… they were right. I was the stupid one and you never stopped being the mean one.
And with that Brittany hung up the phone. Santana fell on the couch and cried loudly. Leslie run to the living room alarmed and hugged Santana.
Leslie: What happened? What's wrong Santana?
Santana buried herself in Leslie's embrace and cried.
Leslie: Talk to me. What's wrong?
Santana: Brittany… she isn't coming here to stay with us…. She's going back to Lima….
Leslie: (She sighed) You scared me, Santana. Well can you blame her?
Santana: (She pulled herself from her embrace) What do you mean now?
Leslie: She's going to be immobile for months. She needs her people to help her and treat her.
Santana: And I am not her people?
Leslie: Of course you are… but she can't stay here for a year.
Santana stood up and looked angrily at Leslie.
Santana: And why not?
Leslie: Because here you are leaving with me.
Santana: So isn't there a place in this house for my best friend to stay?
Leslie: Yes, there is… for a few days. Not for the rest of her life. You are with me Santana, you have to understand it.
Santana got red from her anger but she could decipher inside her what exactly made her so angry.
Santana: What are you talking about? I know that.
Leslie: You seem to forget it when Brittany is around. But now she's going to be around a lot more. So clear things in your head cause you are not going to like what I'm going to do if you don't.
Santana: Are you threading me?
Leslie: No. It wouldn't even work with you. I'm your partner, Santana. I'm your person. I'm the only constant thing in your life. You've been with me more than you've been with anyone and I know you better than anyone. I'm your life. Brittany is just a memory. She doesn't even exist in your life. Get over it.
Santana felt the rage inside her. Everything was blurring. She wanted to leave the apartment before she did something that she was going to regret later.
Santana: Fuck you.
She exited the apartment and slammed the door behind her.