It may just be a sofa, but by god was it comfortable to sleep on, even more so than her bed with the amount of cushions she got to cuddle up to. Loki had given his word and all that but it still had not quelled her nerves about him getting touchy feely during the night and so she had remained in all her clothing including her jeans just in case an escape was needed. Still, she slept without interruption all night only awakening when a waft of strange smells assaulted her nose.

Laying on her side, half dangling off the 'canapé' as he called it – whatever he said canapé's in her opinion would forever be little munchables for posh people – she breathed in the aroma of soapy things. It was not anything she needed to worry about, eyes remaining firmly closed as she tried to drift back to sleep only to be further disturbed by a damp padding sound. She stiffened as the footsteps grew closer, preparing herself mentally to go on the offence if surprised but no danger arose.

He had stopped moving forward though she could definitely make out an odd sound of friction taking place. She kept her features relaxed, not wanting to give away that she was awake and partially observing him when he now seemed to pause his final task. What was he up to? Why was he standing so close? He was not admiring her whilst she slept was he? That would be on the seriously creepy side.

Attentions wandering she was not prepared for what happened next. Covers were wrenched from her in a single swift motion, cruelly bathing her in the morning chill of the room which made her involuntarily shiver and the final blow being something horribly wet dropping onto her head. Kari made a disgusted sort of shocked noise, a tangle of limbs waving around uselessly as she rolled off the side of the sofa landing awkwardly and pulled the towel off her face.

"I hope you slept well." Loki chuckled as he loomed above her in nothing but a second towel wrapped about his waist.

"Loki! Go… put some clothes on I can almost see your junk from down here." Kari demanded appalled at the thought of what she might see as she used the wet towel in her hands as a makeshift wall between them. "If I'd known you'd be a dick and wake me up like this…"

"Karian Motter," he bent down and snatched his towel back from her, "I would not be so cruel to a guest sharing my humble accommodation. But," he paused to begin drying his hair, as she got back onto her feet suddenly aware of what that odd friction noise had been, "you and I were both aware of your consciousness."

"Oh really now?"

"Yes." He shrugged. "When your thunderous snoring finally ceased one had to assume you had awakened."

"I… I do not snore."

"Ear piercingly." He twiddled an index finger inside his ear to relieve a clog of moisture. "You talk in your sleep as well."

"What?" Kari flushed; what had he heard her saying?

"'Oh Balder, how I have longed for this moment.'" Loki made a poor interpretation of her higher pitched voice with added eyelash fluttering for increased annoying effect.

"Ah-hah! Now I know you're lying! I was not having a dream about Balder last night." The bastard was bluffing.

"But you do have them quite regularly, I take it?" He inquired draping his wet towel over his shoulder now he was done drying his hair.

"I… what… no… no…" This was a mind game; he was just teasing her about the Balder thing last night because he was feeling all shunned and sad about Serana no doubt. "What's it matter to you anyway?"

"Very little I am afraid." He laughed whipping the towel about his waist off and over his opposite shoulder as he turned.

She stared after him, firstly in shock at his nudity, secondly in admiration of his spank able butt cheeks and lastly out of sheer stubbornness not to be caught forced into looking away via embarrassment. He had no power over her. Not even when he looked over his shoulder now standing in his bedroom and gave her a quizzical glance.

"Am I too be gawked at?" He asked casually as he tossed his towels further into the room where she could not see.

"You're to be observed until found not to be up to something." Kari frowned making sure to keep her eyes glued on his disorderly hair.

"I do not think you will live long enough to see that day." His smile was so wide she thought his jaw might snap right off as he disappeared from view only to return a moment later holding up two outfits on separate hangers. "Which do you think? The green one or the black one?"

"Green." She answered immediately, holding his gaze fiercely as he fully faced her in all his glory now.

"Black it is."

"You're such a-" Best not to say the 'd' word whilst a man is on display. "I'm going I have work. Try not to have too much fun today."

"Impossible when you are around." He sighed turning his back on her as she went to leave.

"I must say," she paused at the door, hand on the knob and grinned wickedly at the thoughts running through her mind, "I'm actually really rather surprised you and Thor are brothers."

"Oh?" He was distracted and disinterested with this diversion now he was doing up his trousers.

"You're both just so… different without your clothes on." She tilted her head to the side giving him a strange quizzical run down as he frowned at her. "It's like the difference between a dragon and a dragonfly." His jaw audibly clicked shut, from whatever comeback he was about to mount; just the right time to make an exit whilst the silver tongued prince was stricken dumb. "Bye."

Waving her farewell, Kari strolled from the god of mischief's rooms and waited till she was a little further down the corridor before bursting out into a hearty round of laughter. Oh that was too good to be true. He looked so deflated, caught off guard and utterly speechless. Maybe all these verbal fights were starting to payoff if she had finally out witted the king of back handed comments. Now all she needed was a quick change of clothes and…

"Shit I'm late." She squealed running full pelt back to Fandral's place.

Really, why had she thought teasing Loki through comparison to his brother was a good idea? Because, it was not a good idea. Though it was a good idea in one respect; he was no longer speaking to her. On the other hand he was no longer teaching her, allowing her in the library and had been spreading malicious rumors about her lack of virtue. At least she had to assume it was he spreading the lies because it was sort of in his job description as God of mischief and lies and who else would do it?

By her current count, according to gossip she was over hearing never said to her face, Karian Motter, you know, Fandral the dashing's granddaughter, was in the possession of seven simultaneous lovers. She also had relations with Sleipnir, which accounted for Ryder standing outside the stable staring at her whilst she practiced in the training yard and was engaged to two young boys. Well, partly, that last bit had sort of been true in the mind of a twelve year old that really had forgotten about her and now had a really, really, really good friend his own age with adorable freckles and a love of squashed daisies picked from the path.

Balder was acting somewhat hesitant around her, twitching as if very uncomfortable in her presence and unable to ask her what he seemingly yearned to. The thought had cross her mind to just out right tell him he was hearing bullshit but the overall internal debate had favored not saying a word. If he was so shallow to believe just outrageousness about her, ignore what he knew, then maybe he did not deserve to squeeze her nipples and have her scream his name. Seven simultaneous lovers though, no wonder she was so tired lately, just thinking about keeping a harem happy was exhausting.

"Granddad?" Kari leaned across her chair, rather than sitting in it the correct way, balancing a half filled cup of wine on her forehead.

"Yes, my dear?" Fandral was busy polishing his sword by the fire.

"What kind of contraception is around in asgard?" She blinked as a little wine spilled from her cup, catching the tittering container back into the safety of her hand as Fandral paused his ministrations and gave her an almost horrified look. "Oh not you too. It's lies, all lies. Loki's just mad because I said something that did not flatter his ego."

"Another of your lovers quarrels."

"Really? Seriously?" She sat up, taking a long draw from her wine until it was all gone with an audible swallow. "How many times do I have to tell you people? Me plus Loki equals no. Just no."

"You were seen leaving his rooms in a disheveled state recently."

"So? I just slept on his canapé sofa thing." She shrugged, sitting up to pour herself some more wine. "Wait… is that why Balder's acting weird?"

"Kari, my dear, do not tease the good and noble Balder." Fandral sighed really laying into a smudge on his blade to get it up.

"I'm not teasing him." She rolled her eyes, leaning back into her chair once more with a dangerously full cup. "I swear, on my mothers grave." He looked round at her, astonished at her words as her eyes widened realizing who she was speaking to and their relation. "Sorry, I didn't mean to… it's just a saying on earth."

"This is not midgard." Fandral sighed to release his frown.

"Earth, granddad." It was really starting to bother her the way everybody seemed to be correcting her all the time about earth being midgard. "At least meet me half way in the middle here. I've been accustoming myself to asgard for ages. This is not where I was born and raised and it's very hard to think of it as home but I'm trying so could you at least stop calling my world midgard and call it by it's proper name. Earth."

"That is what I said. Midgard."

"No, you're saying 'midgard'."

"I believe I understand our dilemma." He paused his sword polishing, holding the blade up to the firelight to check along its length for further blemishes.

"Eh?"

"Kari, I, like everyone else here, speak the all language. Everyone hears it in their native tongue."

"Nooo… you're speaking English." Kari frowned, concentrating and dubious at the same time.

"Exactly." He nodded in response, cheerful and assured she now understood perfectly.

"Fuck it, I flew through a rollercoaster portal onto a rainbow bridge where everyone is a god and gold is the main decorative theme. Why not? Anything else you want me to believe right now? Because I am good and drunk enough to let it not bother me."

"Nothing pressing."

"What? No pixies and elves?" She laughed.

"Elves live in their own realms." Fandral was up, placing his cleaning supplies away safely.

"You're so shitting me right now." This was unbelievable, enough to make her smirk at the very idea.

"I am not."

"Seriously?"

"I would not lie to you, my dear."

"Are they like Legolas?" She leaned on the edge of her seat, eager to hear the juicy details on real life elves.

"Who is this Legolas?"

"Oh granddad, we have got to get movies in asgard." Every time he became 'cool granddad' it seemed 'out of touch granddad' was not far behind to ruin things.

"Those long loud picture shows you must sit for hours quietly watching?" Fandral grimaced, obviously recalling some unpleasant experience he had on earth at some point involving a movie theatre. "It will not suit asgard."

"Shame… but anyway… contraception?"

"I know not of that subject." Her grandfather was rather uncomfortable looking as he tested the balance of his weapon. "Perhaps you should ask Sif or someone else of your gender."

"Granddad you really need to start taking as much responsibility you give that big sword of yours as your other sword." Kari sighed, rolling her eyes as she took a sip from her cup and pondered on more amusing thoughts. "Oh, could you marry Serana?"

"I would prefer not to." He chuckled.

"Awww, would be so much fun getting to call her 'grandma' in public really loudly."

"Kari, your unkindness worries me greatly at times."

"Tch, don't start on me tonight. It was just a joke." She pouted, turning her body away from him as she continued to drink her wine. "Geeze I can't even unwind around my own family. Besides, why is it when people say unkind things to me you don't get on their case?"

"Because they are not my kin and you need to stand strong for yourself."

"Oh, so this is one of those stand up and be a man things but don't do it the mean way?" She pulled a face behind his back as she spoke.

"I never asked you to be a man." Fandral ran a hand through his hair, putting his sword back into the depths of its sheath and turned to regard his granddaughter with care. "Serana has done nothing to warrant your hatred that I recall."

"That you recall." Could he make her anymore angry tonight? "You don't know half the shit I put up from her and other people."

"I care not when you are in this mood, my dear." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Ffff-" She clench her free hand into a tight fist, trying to hold in the slur of profanity wishing to escape her lips before standing suddenly. "I'm going to bed."

"That would be best." He agreed.

"No fuck it, I'm going out to have a wild orgy with my imaginary gossip harem."

"Kari…" He began but fell into instantly amused silence as all her ranting waving of arms had resulted in her cup of wine spilling over the top of her head.

"Don't laugh. Don't you dare laugh!" She glared at his ascending moustache of glee. "I'm going to have a bath and then I am going to bed."