Chapter 11: The Shadow

Rumplestiltskin woke early and slipped out of bed, careful not to disturb his wife. He was planning to travel to Hagan's farm this morning, to discuss the possibility of buying sheep and was eager to begin his trip. He dressed quickly and slipped over to the bed to kiss his wife awake. Her eyes opened softly and she gazed up at him with a sleepy smile.

"Are you off, then?" She asked, her voice muffled by a yawn. He nodded, reaching out to run his fingers against her hair. He often braided it for her before they retired to bed in an effort to keep her hair from knotting as she tossed and turned in her sleep. She moved frequently in her sleep, stirring and squirming as she dreamed, unlike Rumple, who rarely moved at all. It was amusing to wake up to discover what position she had taken during the night. Sometimes her legs would be draped over his; sometimes she would be half on top of him.

"Aye," he whispered softly. "I'm off. I should be back before the afternoon."

"I'll see you then," she said as she leaned forward to place a gentle kiss to his lips. "I love you," she whispered affectionately.

The look he gave her was enough to make her wish he didn't have to leave. "And I love you."

He kissed her one last time, then slipped out the door and out into the early morning.

He traveled slowly, having no desire to rush. He missed his wife already but there was something pleasant about the silence of the journey as it gave him time to think. He was so busy now that he was wed; he had little time to simply sit and allow his thoughts to take him captive. It was nice, to travel in silence and solitude so that he could reflect upon the past two weeks of his life and wonder at just how much better they were than he'd expected them to be.

It was wonderful indeed, to be married. And though he felt selfish for entertaining the though, it was nice to know that he now had enough money to fulfill his desire to own his own sheep. He still viewed the money as entirely Belle's and even with her blessing, he felt hesitant to spend it.

"If you don't spend it," he recalled her saying, "I'll end up buying books with it. And as much as I love my books, we need a sheep more. Once we become wealthy spinners, then I'll buy all the books I want!"

She'd been teasing about the latter part. They both had no false notions that simply purchasing a sheep or two would somehow boost them into economic stability. Rumplestiltskin wished it were so, for he longed to give her all the books she desired. He would give her an entire library if he could, but he did understand that purchasing his own sheep to sheer would help them considerably. He wouldn't have to make the trip to Hagan's, but instead he could use that time to shear and spin from his own small flock. It would also mean more time with Belle, and while he enjoyed his brief solitude with only his thoughts for companions, he quickly found that he preferred Belle's company to his own.

He reached the farm and saw one of Hagan's girls working in the field closest to the path, so he stopped to greet her. The young girl looked far too small to be put to such hard labor. When she noticed him, she turned and offered a sloppy curtsey to him.

"Good morning," Rumplestiltskin said pleasantly. "Is your father about?"

The child nodded. "Papa's in the barn, sir."

He thanked the girl and turned to make his way up the path when the girl stepped forward and looked up at him with shining eyes. "Mama tells me you married Miss Belle not that long ago. Is that true?"

Rumplestiltskin smiled at the mention of his wife and nodded. "It is."

The girl smiled. "She's pretty. And very nice. She showed me how to write my name when Mama and I visited town a while back."

The girl's words warmed his heart, and he made a note to himself to tell Belle of the little girl's words. "Aye, she is lovely," he agreed. I'm a very lucky man."

"Papa says she'd have to be mad to marry you, but I think you're nice too. You never get angry like Papa does, and he gets angry a lot."

It wasn't the first time he'd heard those comments. Hagan was a good businessman, but he was known to be a poor husband and father. Rumplestiltskin patted the girl's head and knelt down beside her. "I'll see if Belle can join me the next time I come here."

That seemed to delight the little girl and she reached out to hug the spinner. He patted her on the head and told her to get back to work, lest her father get upset. She turned and skipped back to the field where she was digging holes to plant crops for the late harvest, and Rumplestiltskin made his way to the barn where he could hear Hagan shouting curses at the cattle he was working with.

"Damned creatures," he spat as he turned to see Rumplestiltskin coming toward him. "Ah, what are you wantin'," he asked gruffly. "You ain't s'posed to be back fer a few more days."

Rumplestiltskin tilted his head in greeting to the rough farmer. "I wanted to talk to you about buying one of your sheep," he said getting straight to the point. "I'd like to discuss your price."

"I ain't sellin' my sheep," Hagan responded tersely. "I gotta have 'em for me own purposes. What are you wantin' 'em fer anyhow?"

Rumplestiltskin was not a good negotiator and felt himself growing nervous. He swallowed thickly and took a moment to collect himself. He knew how much he could spend on a sheep, and he was determined to try to get his way. Had it only been for himself, he probably would have stammered out a price, and then taken whatever Hagan offered in return. But this was Belle's money. This was to be his and his wife's living. This was their plan for the future. He would not return home empty handed.

"Everything is for sell," he said, unsure of where his words were coming from, "Everything has a price. Sheep included." He informed Hagan of the price he was willing to pay, and the man scoffed.

"I ain't sellin' my sheep fer that," he declared, offended. "You must be out of yer mind."

Thinking quickly, Rumplestiltskin glanced around, trying to figure out what he could do to convince the man to reconsider.

"Lambs, then," he said suddenly. "I know you have a few sheep that are due to give birth soon, and you often sell or slaughter the ones that are born so late in the season. Would you take my offer for two lambs?"

Hagan glared at Rumplestiltskin as he thought. He pressed his filthy hands to his chin, clearly figuring the potential gain or loss of selling two young lambs for the price he'd been offered. Finally, he rolled his eyes and cursed, thrusting his hand out to the spinner. "You got yerself a deal, Spinner," he declared gruffly. Rumplestiltskin grinned, pleased that he'd managed to work out an arrangement and happily took Hagan's hand.

"Might we put this to paper?" He asked.

Hagan glared. "Don't think I'm a man of my word?" He growled and Rumplsetiltskin held his hands up in defense, shaking his head rapidly.

"No, sir!" He declared. "I Just want to make sure you get the amount promised to you. Contracts are becoming quite popular in the villages, and that way you can make sure you aren't being cheated. Not that I would!" He added quickly, feeling flustered, "Just want to be thorough."

"Thorough, yeah," Hagan grumbled, a look of annoyance on his face. "Fine. You make yer contract and bring it to me. Lamb's oughta be born within a fortnight, if my countin's correct."

"I'll be back in a month, then," Rumplestiltskin declared, holding out his hand again to shake Hagan's. He took it, somewhat begrudgingly, and after saying a hasty goodbye, Rumplsetiltskin made his way back home, eager to tell his wife of their good fortune.

When he arrived home, Belle was waiting for him expectantly. She seemed impatient, and her brow creased when he entered, looking grim. "What happened?" She asked as she approached him, reaching out to touch his arm.

He glanced down for a moment, then glanced back up at her with a sparkle in his eyes. "We're getting two lambs, after they're born."

Belle let out a shriek of delight, winding her arms around Rumplestiltskin happily and laughing as he lifted her with ease to twirl her around. When her feet were back on the ground she stepped back and reached out to playfully smack at him, chiding him for worrying her so.

She reached out to smack him once more, but he grasped her hand and pulled her to him, lifting her palm and pressing a kiss to it.

"I think we should celebrate," Belle declared, stepping closer to him. She pressed a few gentle kisses against his lips, humming contently.

"I agree whole-heartedly," he whispered huskily, pulling his wife inside their home and toward their bed.

~000~

The next day they fell back into their normal routine. Rumplestiltskin was to go to market that morning to sell some of the wool that he and Belle had worked together to spin, and after a heady kiss that left him dizzy and breathless, he set out to visit Ebert.

When he reached the market, the crowd was ablaze with excitement. He wondered what was wrong, but continued walking, debating on whether or not to ask someone if everything was all right. He could see Ebert's stall, but before he could reach it, a hand roughly grabbed his shoulder, turning him around. Rumplestiltskin glanced up at the tall stranger who'd manhandled him to see it was a soldier of the king's army. He was dressed in the black uniform of a soldier, and he stared down at Rumplestilskin with hardened eyes.

"Are you Rumplestiltskin, the spinner?" The man asked, and Rumplestiltskin was quick to nod. The man reached into the satchel he was carrying and pulled out a scroll, offering it tersely to him. "You've been drafted into the King's Army," the man declared as Rumplestiltskin rolled open the parchment to read the words. "You will report to the village of Mosbach, and will travel out from there. Am I understood?"

Rumplestiltskin stammered out an answer, distracted by the parchment. He'd been drafted. His greatest fear and secret wish had come to pass. He was to fight in the war; he was going to do something brave! He could not wait to tell Belle the news! He turned, forgetting about selling the wool and rushed home, shouting his wife's name as he went.

When he arrived home, he rushed inside, letting the basket of wool fall from his arms carelessly.

"Belle!" He called out, and she glanced up from her embroidery with a smile.

"I made a straight line," she declared triumphantly. He glanced down at the line she'd made and smiled at her lovingly.

"You've learned quickly," he praised.

"I had a great teacher." She tilted her head up, and he leaned down to press a kiss to her. He pulled back, his entire body thrumming with energy and she gave him a curious look. "You're home early," she stated, setting aside her needlework. "What's going on?"

He thrust the scroll out to her, and she took it gingerly from him, her eyebrow cocked in interest. She unrolled the parchment and read it, glancing up at him with horror as he spoke. "I've been called to the front," he said excitedly. "I report for training in the morning!"

He bounced on his feet, his hands clutched into fists in his excitement. He could hardly contain himself, but his enthusiasm quickly died when Belle shook her head despairingly.

"No, Rumplestiltskin, you can't do this," she declared, grabbing his hand and pulling him down to sit in the chair across from her. "Papa's told me things about the front. I've read about these kinds of wars. It's going to be awful, Rumple. You could be killed!"

He took her hands in his as his heart grew heavy with the realization that she was right. In his excitement, he'd forgotten just what it was he'd been drafted to, but he shoved away the fear that started to bloom in his chest. This was his chance and he wasn't going to be afraid anymore.

"I've not spoken much of it," Rumple began, "But I've lived under the shadow of my father's actions for too long now. He was a coward; his reputation has become mine and I've always wished to become more than what he was. I think this is what I've been waiting for. I can be brave and fight against the Ogres and then no one can say I'm a coward."

"But will it be worth it?" She asked brokenly. "You are not your father. I know you're not a coward. Papa knows. You know. Why does it matter what anyone else thinks of you?"

"Because I want a better life for us both, and that's never going to happen if people don't see that I'm more than what they perceive," he said, pressing his hand to his chest. "I have to do this, Belle. I don't want to leave you, but I have no choice."

"You always have a choice," she whispered, looking down at her lap. "But if this is what you choose, then I will stand by you. Go fight. Be brave; be safe. And come home quickly."

He said nothing for a long time, instead sliding his hand up to cup her cheek. After some time he spoke. "You'll be fine without me."

He meant it as a question, but he dared not ask it directly. Of course she would be all right without him. She had lived a good life before he crashed into her and they'd begun their whirlwind romance; she would be fine with him gone.

"Of course I will," she declared. "I'll manage while you're gone. I'll go get the lambs when they're born. I'll take care of everything while you're gone. And when you get back we will pick up right where we left off." She hesitated a moment, then glanced up at him hopefully. "And maybe even….start a family?"

He grinned, relief flowing through him. Everything he'd ever wanted was sitting before him, and he kissed her deeply, the thought of a child joining them making him smile. "Our very own family," he whispered. "It's a thought that will keep me warm in the days to come."

"I love you," she whispered in response, grasping for his hand. "When must you leave?"

"At sunrise," he answered and he couldn't help but noticed the small, dry sob that escaped her.

"I have the rest of the day with you, then," she said with a finality that made him wince. "The rest of the day to do with you as I please."

He nodded. "And what would you do with me?" He asked softly; hopeful.

She said nothing, but instead stood and pulled him by the hand over to their bed. Where the day before they'd been playful in their lovemaking, this time they were solemn and slow. She held him close to her, and he kissed every inch of exposed skin that he could, knowing very well that it would be some time before he had this pleasure again. He did not allow himself to think of the possibility that this could be the last time he enjoyed his wife. If those thoughts took root, he would refuse to go and remain at her side in shame.

But he knew this was what he needed. He needed to go; he wanted to go. He wrapped his arm around Belle's middle, and she sighed as he pressed her closer to him. The Ogres were wreaking havoc on the lands, and if they were to have a family, a desire that had settled firmly into his heart, he knew a world with Ogres in it was no place to raise a child. Better he help rid the world of them now so that his son or daughter could grow up in peace.

Neither of them slept that night. They kissed and spoke in soft whispers of the future, when he returned and Rumplestiltskin wondered how Belle would handle being without him. He worried, as he always did, but he consoled himself that she would have her father and her books and her chores to keep her busy, and perhaps she would not miss him too much.

When dawn arrived, it was with a heavy heart that Belle let her husband go. He kissed her one last time, deep and desperate and lovingly. When they finally parted, he touched her face, whispered his love to her, and turned away. Belle watched him go, and did not move until he disappeared over the small hill that lead to the village. Only then did she allow herself to weep.

Author's Notes:

Now we are making our way into Rumple's canon back story. We're in for one heck of a ride.

Chapter 12 will be up January 3, 2014 (My goodness how time flies!) I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays and I wish you a very Happy New Year!

Mosbach is a small village in Germany. I do not have any information about it, but I am simply using the name. The Mosbach in this story is not based on the actual town; just the name is used. Since Rumplestiltskin is of German origin, I decided to use German names for places and some of the villagers (see Ebert and Hagan.)

Disclaimer: Some of the dialogue in this chapter was taken directly or paraphrased from OUAT episode 2x14 ("Manhattan"). All recognizable characters and dialogue belong to their respective creators (Horrowitz and Kitis, the writers, ABC, etc). All original characters belong to me.