Chapter 13: Fatherless

"I haven't bled."

Agda looked up from the papers she was sorting through to see Belle standing in the doorway. She smiled and waved her hand to welcome Belle inside, and she quickly entered with a look of relief. She sat down as Agda instructed and waited as Agda fixed some tea. She placed the hot drink in front of Belle and nodded toward it, "It'll help soothe your nerves," she explained.

"I'm not nervous," Belle replied. Agda raised her eyebrow and gave Belle a fixed look.

"You're with child, love," she stated plainly, "You're nervous, even if you don't feel it."

Belle nodded meekly and drank deeply as the warmth of the tea calmed her in a way she hadn't known she needed.

"What sort of books do you have on the subject?" Belle asked as she held the cup between her hands, letting it warm them. It was a cool day outside, and though it did not feel unpleasant, the warmth of the cup was welcome.

"I have all sorts of books, love," Agda replied with a grin, "I should have expected you would want to read them."

"May I?" Belle asked plainly. "I don't have to take them home. I can come here and read. Maybe you can teach me what some practical things I'll need to know when it-the baby…comes."

It was hard for her to say, that she was with child. It was a fact she'd easily accepted when she did not bleed at the usual time, but despite its easiness there was a certain heaviness that accompanied it. She should be joyous, and she was to a degree. But that joy was weighed down by the fact that the one person she wanted to share that joy with was countless miles away and completely unaware that he was a father.

Belle had been determined not to cry; she didn't want to weep and carry on in such a way, but she felt the tears coming faster than she could stop them and soon she was in Agda's arms, crying hard. Agda was used to this sort of thing, so she held Belle close and rubbed Belle's back, gently shushing her and murmuring that it was okay to cry. "You'll find yourself crying over dropping something, or angry over other silly things," she whispered, "Pregnancy turns a woman into a strange being, but then the child comes and all is forgotten and forgiven," she said as she ran her fingers through Belle's hair, "It's all right, dear."

Belle nodded despite her tears falling harder, and Agda went silent, letting Belle cry until she was finished. Once the tears subsided and all that remained was a runny nose and hiccups, Agda offered her a handkerchief and fixed another cup of tea while Belle blew her nose.

Agda sat down, resting her arms on the table, and watched Belle expectantly. Belle sniffed, and took a sip of tea. "Thank you," she said, her voice scratchy from crying.

"You're not the first," Agda said with a grin, "And you won't be the last. Now, do you have any questions?"

Belle nodded, and her eyes brightened with the prospect of learning. "A few," she admitted.

Belle left Agda's an hour later with all of her questions answered and three thick books in her arms to answer all the questions she did not yet know to ask. Agda made her promise to visit regularly and to swap out books so that she could monitor Belle's progress. Belle didn't feel ill other than the occasional bout of naseua, and Agda told her to thank the gods that she had such an easy start, "But pray it remains that way," she warned, "The trials a woman can face before the child is ready to be delivered can be grueling. I want you to take it easy, no matter how well you feel. Rest is the key for both you and the babe."

Belle walked on with the books heavy in her arms. She thought about going straight home to read, but as she came across the path that would lead her to her father's house, she paused. He deserved to know, she thought. For all that she had thought about telling Rumple the news, she had not yet considered going to her father. He'd joked about wanting a grandchild, so this would surely be welcome news. And at the very least, she desperately needed her Papa.

She traveled the short distance to her father's home, surprised to find herself out of breath by the time she arrived. She knocked and waited patiently for her father to open the door. He was surprised to see her but welcomed her in with a smile and immediately set about offering her food and drink.

"I am a bit hungry," she admitted with a blush. She wasn't just taking care of herself now she thought, and it occurred to her that she should go by the market after this. For some reason she desperately wanted a sweet cake from the bakers.

"Well sit down, and I'll get you something," Maurice said as he took the books from Belle's arms. He placed them on the table and glanced at her, "These aren't familiar to me. Where did you get them?"

"I, um, borrowed them," she said as she removed her cloak and draped it over her chair.

"Borrowed them, eh?" He asked with a laugh, "And who else in this village has books for you to 'borrow'"?

"Agda."

"Agda? The midwife?" Maurice asked as he pulled out a loaf of bread, "Why would you want to borrow books from the midwife-"

He stopped speaking and whipped his head around to regard his daughter. She was still standing, her hands carefully pressed against her stomach. Maurice stared for a moment, then smiled affectionately at her.

"My dear girl, am I to be a grandfather?"

Belle smiled and nodded.

Maurice let out a yell and rushed over to embrace his daughter. He pulled back quickly, afraid of crushing her, and grasped her hands in his, "My dear Belle, this is wonderful news," he exclaimed, "I'm so happy for you and Rum-"

Again he stopped and looked at his daughter with understanding. "Are you all right?"

She felt the tears coming again, but forced them back. Nodding, she squeezed her father's hand, "I think so. Physically yes. I've not been very ill, not yet at least, but I so wish he were here."

Maurice hugged her to him and sighed, "I know my dear. I know."

"Is there any way I could tell him?" Belle asked as she pulled away to look at her father, "Can I not send a message to him?"

"The only letters that get sent to and from the front lines are from the King or the Duke," he said, "There would be no way to get a letter to him."

Belle sighed and let her head hang. Maurice moved her and gently pushed her down into a chair. "I just don't want him to come back and be shocked," she said with a pitiful laugh, "He'll be so surprised. I can imagine his face now. He'd probably even faint."

She glanced at her father worriedly when he did not laugh. "Papa?"

He sighed and knelt down before her. Belle recognized the look in his eyes as pity, and she instantly turned away, unable to accept what she knew he was about to say.

"Belle," he said with a sigh. Belle shook her head and sniffed, hating that the tears were winning the fight to come forth.

"No," she said firmly, shaking her head harder, "No. Please don't talk about that," she begged. "I know he might not come back. I know that he may never know he's a father. But I can't afford to think like that, Papa. I can't do this if I think he may not come home."

"But if he doesn't come-"

"He will."

"But if he doesn't-"

"He will. I can't afford to believe anything different."

"Then we won't."

Belle sighed and wiped at a few of her tears, "At any rate," she said, trying to change the subject away from her husband, "Agda says stress isn't good for the baby."

Maurice chuckled, "Indeed it isn't," he said, "And I expect you to follow all her rules. You read those books and stick to them. You've got to take care of my grandson."

"Or granddaughter."

"So long as he's healthy," Maurice said with a grin. He'd always wanted a son; it was no secret that men wanted sons. That had not kept him from loving Belle with all his heart, but he longed for a boy. This could be the chance he'd long been denied. A healthy grandson with his mother's spark and intelligence and his father's quiet steadfastness; he would be a fine lad. Maurice was certain of it.

"That's what matters," Belle said softly, "That the baby's healthy."

And that it has the chance to know its father, she thought sorrowfully before she pushed it away and focused on her father's already forming plans about what his grandson would be like.

~000~

"One of these days I am going to catch you," Adi said as he slammed the tip of his sword into the grass. He and Rumple had been sparing during their off time, and Rumple was proving to the large and strong Adi that strength wasn't everything.

"You don't call me 'Stealth-skin' for nothing," Rumple teased as he swung his sword about, practicing the skills they had learned earlier that day. Adi rolled his eyes and dropped to the ground, lying back lazily as he watched Rumplestiltskin train. Rumplestiltskin laughed as he practiced his footwork and movements. He was improving day by day, and though he was still no master, he felt so proud of the fact that he could now handle a sword even if he was only half-way decent. He bragged to Adi about how he planned to return home and impress his wife with his sword play.

"I doubt that's the sword she's gonna care about," Adi said cheekily, causing Rumple to stumble and blush. It was the kind of lewd comment Adi typically made, and though Rumple was still not entirely used to them, he couldn't help but find it funny.

Rumple was grateful for Adi. He was the first true friend, save for Belle, he'd ever had, and it was with a slight shock that Rumplestiltskin realized that he genuinely loved this man, and that Adi seemed to view him the same. They were more than brothers in arms. They were friends.

Adi was the kind of man that everyone wanted to be friends with, so Rumple would often found himself surrounded by soldiers he barely knew as they talked with Adi. He had enough charisma to go around, to be sure. Adi thrived on people and conversation, and although he made a point to always seek out Rumple he was friendly with all who approached him because his friendly disposition made him inviting to all.

One of the soldiers who seemed to crave Adi's cheer was Wilmar. Adi thought the boy was a bit cocky as well, but upon further inspection, Wilmar was just a boy in need of guidance and acted out in order to seem bigger than he was. Adi took the boy in just as easily as he had Rumplestiltskin. It wasn't long after that that the two crossed paths. Rumplestiltskin swallowed thickly when Wilmar spotted him standing next to Adi, and for a moment Rumple was convinced that the boy would make some comment in front of others about the last time they'd crossed paths. Instead, he'd merely approached Rumple, stuck out his hand and said, "Your eye looks better."

Rumple hesitantly took his hand and shook it. "So does yours."

Wilmar grimaced, but said nothing. He nodded curtly to Rumple then again to Adi, then left. Adi chuckled and glanced at Rumplestiltskin, "Looks like a truce was just made."

"Is that what that was?" Rumple asked, watching the boy wander off toward a group of younger soldiers.

"Well he didn't try to blacken your eye again," Adi replied with a shrug, "So I'd say it counts."

~000~

Belle sat in her bed reading. She spent the past few days pouring over her books and using some paper and quill her father had given her to take notes of important things that she read. It was incredible the things that she would experience as her child grew within her. Some things did not phase her; others terrified her. She'd never been in the room when a child was delivered although she'd heard stories. And the information found within these tomes was just as horrifying to her as the exaggerated stories women told each other. She'd expected pain, but the kind of pain it discussed was unfathomable to her. Closing the book and setting it aside, she let her hand rest on her stomach. There was no use in worrying about the pain that was still months away. She would arrive at that point eventually, but for now she wanted to enjoy the peaceful quiet between her and her child.

She wondered what it looked like. Did it have fingers and toes? A heartbeat? She drummed her fingers over her stomach and smiled. Could her baby hear her? Was it aware that it was safely enveloped in its mothers care and that she was already deeply in love with it? She sighed and let her head rest against the wall behind the bed. It would be hard without Rumplestiltskin, and she wished she could share in the excitement and the anticipation with him. If only he could know he had a child waiting on him. What would he do, she wondered, if he knew he was going to be a father?

~000~

After that, things became more cordial between Rumple and Wilmar. They never spoke to each other beyond a "hello", but Rumple felt some relief that the shame of his past would not catch up to him here. He suspected Wilmar was just as worried about others finding out a girl had beaten him, and so in their mutual desire to let the past die, they remained silent, only brought together by their mutual friendship with Adi.

One particular evening, several soldiers were gathered by a fire near Adi's tent. They were talking about a variety of things from their lives at home to the training. It was enjoyable, Rumple thought as he sat close to Adi and Wilmar and feeling as close to peaceful as one could when training for a war.

As the men talked, Rumplestiltskin noticed one of the captain's approaching them. He nudged Adi with his elbow, and he looked up to see the captain. He stood and the others followed and bowed respectively.

"Captain," Adi said, speaking for the group. "What brings you here on such a fine evening?"

The captain was in no mood for pleasantries and simply glanced at the men stating, "We've received orders from the Duke to make our way to the front. We will leave first thing in the morning so be packed and ready to go at dawn. We will not wait for stragglers."

The captain turned and marched off heading to another nearby campfire to inform the soldiers there of the news. The men all sat back down, and Adi glanced over at Rumplestiltksin. "Looks like the battle's comin' sooner than we thought, eh, Rum?"

Rumplestiltskin nodded distractedly. He'd spent so long in this camp training that he'd almost forgotten what he'd been training for. The ogres had not been forgotten, but when he spent so much time fighting and sparring with Adi, the realization of why he was there was easy to ignore. It all came back to him in a rush and he felt ill.

He stood, needing to get away from the heat of the fire and the crowd of men, and Adi looked on in concern. "You all right?"

"Yes, yes," Rumplestiltskin said hastily. "Just going to get a start on packing. You heard the man. We leave at sunrise."

He staggered his way back to his tent and collapsed inside. He forced himself to breathe deeply, and he calmed himself almost as quickly as the anxiety had hit him. He glanced around and sighed heavily as he slipped off his shoes, fumbling with the laces in the darkness. He then slid into the small sack that had been his bed for the past two and a half months and let the darkness creep over him even more.

He did not sleep at all that night, and come morning, he dragged at the back of the line, marching with heavy feet and a heavy heart. The time to go to the front had come.

~000~

The march to the front had been long and grueling. It had taken them a week to reach it and a day to set up camp. Not all the men were to go out at once. Instead, a small battalion of expertly trained men was to go out first to gauge the situation and report back. It would be some time before Rumplestiltskin saw true battle, but the longer he waited, the more nervous he became.

The waiting was the worst. He knew very well that he could be facing his death at any time, and the thought often crippled him with fear. He did his best not to focus on it, instead relying on Adi to keep his spirits up. Rumplestiltskin was not a popular man here, but he had never expected to be. Adi was though; everyone wanted Adi's attention, and it made Rumplestiltskin proud to know that he was such a good friend with the man. He was valued by Adi, and although the man knew little about Rumplestiltskin it didn't seem to bother him. He took everything as it was, and if Rumplestiltskin was reluctant to discuss a subject Adi carried on as if it were of no consequence.

He longed to introduce Adi to Belle. The two of them would be quite entertaining together, and thoughts of the future began to fill Rumplestiltskin's mind: Thoughts of a friendly face to visit him after the war was over and all was peaceful. Everyone would respect him for fighting bravely, and he and his wife would begin their family and all would be as it should.

It was a much better thought than those of death, so he held onto them tightly, never daring to let them go for even a moment. He would not make it otherwise. He settled, managing to get his tent set up with little hassle this time and after he finished, he took off in search of Adi. As he looked, he could hear sounds in the distance, shouts and roars, and other unnerving noises. So this was the front.

The other soldiers seemed aware of the same sounds, and although they were distant, almost a whisper for how far away they were, some of the men still jumped. Rumplestiltskin was relieved to know he was not alone in his unease, and he took solace in the fact that even soldiers could feel fear. It made him feel a part of something and no longer an outsider. They could bond in their fear. It might be the only thing that had left by the end.

As the weeks went by, some of the men did not get sent to the front. It was a waiting game, when dealing with the Ogres. There were times they would come out in force and a large portion of men would be called. Then a week would go by without a sign of the monsters. The soldiers were forbidden to go looking for them. Instead, the Ogres were to come to them.

Rumple found himself doing more waiting than fighting, and although he was glad for the waiting at times he wished he could either see action, or just go home. Instead, he found Adi who seemed oblivious to anything unpleasant, and the two talked for some time, eventually getting into a sparring match with their swords. Finally they settled down to a small camp fire, warm and inviting and soon other soldiers joined them, seeking warmth and companionship. They ate their rations, told stories and sang songs, and tried to ignore the distance screams of comrades dying by the Ogre's violent hands.

Things settled quickly at the camp. The special battalion had gone and returned, reporting to the captains, leaving the rest of the soldier's to wonder what was going on. They were told very little, and the lack of information even began to bother Adi.

"You'd think since we're fighting for 'em, we oughta know what's going on," he grumbled one day to Rumplestiltskin as they watched two captains pass by them, speaking in hushed tones.

"You would think," Rumplestiltskin agreed.

He told Adi that he was going to go back to his tent, and the man nodded bidding Rumplestiltskin farewell. Rumplestiltskin began to walk back, but he was still weary from all the training and marching. This was not the kind of life he'd been born for, and it was beginning to take its toll. He wanted to rest, and let his thoughts wander to Belle. He wanted to think of her beautiful, smiling face and her generous, sweet laugh. He missed her so much, and his heart ached for her.

He was interrupted from his thoughts when a Captain moved over in front of him, stopping Rumplestiltskin in his tracks. "Soldier," the man called and Rumplestiltskin stood at attention, as he'd been taught. "I'm needed at the front." He turned and pointed to a large covered crate next to the tent he'd appeared from. "Guard this crate with your life."

Rumplestiltskin nodded with understanding. "Yes, sir."

The Captain seemed appeased and took off, looking rushed and anxious. Rumplestiltskin wondered what had caused the man to be needed so urgently as he moved closer to the crate. He vaguely wondered what lie inside the crate that warranted such diligent watching over, but he decided not to be nosy, and turned his back to it, standing still and waiting.

"Rumplestiltskin."

Rumplestiltskin turned at his name and glanced around, but he heard nothing. Rumplestiltskin then realized the sound had come from the covered crate. He took a hesitant step back, and once he was sure no one was paying him any mind, he turned and flipped up the cover. He balked to see a small girl, with long, dirty red curls sitting before him. He noticed with horror that her eyes were gone, and crude stitches marked the top portion of her face. The poor thing was blind.

"Y..you're a child," he whispered with fear. How could a child help them turn the tide of the war? It made no sense to him.

The girl reached her trembling hand through the bars of the cage. Pointing to a bucket of water at Rumplestiltskin's feet, she asked, her voice light and whispy,"Please. I haven't had a sip in days."

"How do you know my name?" He asked, wondering if this girl was from his village. But if she were, how would she know him? She could not see.

The girl held out her hands to him, and Rumplestiltskin bit back a cry of fright when, in the center of her palms, two deep blue eyes opened to regard him. They studied him, and he felt almost violated by the way they stared into him.

"I'm a seer. I see all."

Shaking his head, Rumplestiltskin quickly ignored her. Seers were just childhood stories to scare naughty children into behaving, he thought. "No. No, no that's not possible. You must have heard someone else speak it," he reasoned.

The girl shoved her hands forward again, and the eyes looked up at him with scrutiny. "Rumplestiltskin," the girl whispered, "Son of a coward. Raised by spinsters. Scared of ending up just like his father." She returned her hands to rest in her lap and looked at him smugly. "Did I overhear that? I told you. I see all. Even what has yet to pass."

"You mean the future?" Rumplestiltskin asked with immediate interest, though he was still not convinced. "You can see the future?"

The girl nodded. "Indeed I can," she told him. "Including yours."

He shook his head, cursing himself for ever answering to her call. "No. No I won't indulge this dark magic." He had no interest in his future, he told himself. All he wanted was to be relieved from his post so he could go find Adi and take his mind of this strange girl with the eyes. He turned, prepared to cover her back up and ignore her when she spoke again.

"Not even if what I see concerns your wife? Belle?"

He whirled around, and she had his attention now. Now he was afraid that Belle was in danger he gripped the bars and asked, "Has something happened to her?"

The girl nodded toward the bucket. "Give me water."

Sighing in annoyance, Rumplstiltskin bent down and filled the cup for the girl. Thrusting it into the cage, he declared, "Here. Slake your thirst witch and tell me what you know of my wife!"

The girl drank deeply from the cup, and Rumplestiltskin couldn't help but wonder just what sort of treatment the girl had been subjected to. She looked thin and frail, and her hands shaking slightly as she held the cup to her lips. She rested the cup in her lap and held out her hands as the eyes opened wide. They looked around frantically as if she were searching for something that couldn't be seen with mortal eyes. The eyes looked past Rumple, and a moment later the girl spoke, "She is heavy with child."

The world around Rumplestiltskin vanished. All thoughts of seers, the war, and everything else disappeared from his mind as his thoughts circled around that notion. "I'm to be a father?" He asked, his voice shaking in awe. He could feel joy welling up within him, and he didn't know whether to laugh or cry in his joy.

The girl wasn't finished speaking, and he forced himself to listen, willing to believe anything. "Your wife will bear you a son," she said, and his heart leapt. "But your actions on the battlefield tomorrow will leave him fatherless."

Dread filled him, drowning out the elation he'd felt only a moment ago. He looked at her despairingly. "I'm going to die?" Fear gripped him and he began to beg, "No, no. You must tell me how I can stop that happening."

She took another sip of water. "You can't."

Anger filled him, and he reached out, ripping the cup from her and throwing it back into the bucket. "Then I'm done helping you."

The girl tilted her head almost innocently. "For now."

Rumplestiltskin glared. "I'll bet Belle isn't even pregnant. You just said that so I would get you water, and now you're trying to trick me into deserting."

"You shall see," she warned. "When you see the army ride cows into battle, you will know I speak the truth."

Rumplestiltskin rolled his eyes. "Cows?" He asked incredulously. "And who's going to man the catapoults, milkmaids? I've had enough of your fiendish lies."

Anger seemed to fill the child, and she threw her hands out toward him, her eyes staring hard at him. "There is no escaping it," she declared in a stern voice. "You will have a son, and your actions will leave him fatherless.

Growling in anger, Rumplestiltskin covered the cage and whirled around. He felt confused and uncertain. He glanced around, relieved that no one seemed to have noticed the conversation and he sighed deeply. Belle wasn't pregnant, he reasoned with himself. She wasn't pregnant and he wasn't going to die.

And he certainly wouldn't leave his child fatherless.

Author's Notes:

Uh oh….

Thank you so much for all your reviews, favorites, and follows! I really do appreciate it!

Chapter 14 will be up January 17!

Disclaimer: Some of the dialogue in this chapter is taken directly from the episode "Manhattan". Some lines were changed to fit the purpose of this story. I hold no ownership over anything related to Once Upon a Time or the characters. It all belongs to ABC and Kitis and Horowitz. Agda, Wilmar, and Adi belong to me.