Chapter 14: The Son of a Coward
Rumplestiltskin did his best to forget the encounter he had with the seer, but as time wore on he began to think about it less and less. They'd been at the front for a couple months at this point, and Rumplestiltskin still had not seen any action. He'd been worked to the bone regardless, helping distribute supplies, taking messages back and forth between captains, and other mundane tasks as well. He'd been to the front lines one a few separate occasions, but it had only been to assist the physicians in gathering up those who survived the previous battle. It never got easier to witness. There were men who were torn apart, limbs missing and blood spilling out of them, staining the grass. Rumple had retched the first time he'd been assigned to help, but he tried his best to steel himself, and help those who needed him.
He always had nightmares after those days. His dreams were plagued with screaming men covered in blood, Ogres attacking his own village, and Belle being killed at the hands of such a violent creature. Those dreams would force him awake violently, his whole body shaking and drenched in sweat. He sometimes dreamed of Belle and his child, the one he didn't believe existed. Those dreams ended in gruesome tragedy as all the others had, and he felt his courage beginning to wane. He wanted to go home and be aware from all this horror. But he had a duty here, and he could not torture himself with thoughts of things that were not true. Belle was not pregnant, he told himself, and it was that thought alone that kept him from fleeing.
~000~
Belle rushed into Agda's hut, a large smile on her face. Agda was writing again, and she looked up at Belle with motherly affection. "Finished already?" She asked, and Belle nodded as she extended her hand to offer the book back to Agda. The other woman shook her head in amusement and turned to put the book back on the shelf, then pulled out another one.
Belle had quickly devoured everything Agda had on bearing a child, and had moved on to other topics. Agda often teased her about reading so much, claiming Belle would soon know more about how to treat sickness and wounds better than she.
"That won't ever happen," Belle declared with a laugh, "I'm no midwife. I just need something to occupy my mind, and I'm sure that my son is going to get into plenty of scrapes that I'll need to patch up."
"So sure it's a boy, are you?" Agda asked, offering Belle a hot cup of tea. Belle took it gratefully and took a sip.
"I had a dream," she explained, "Actually, I've had it several times the past month, and while some things differ, the one thing that is the same is that I'm holding my child, and it's a boy."
"I would trust your instincts, then," Agda said gently, "There are ways to guess what a child might be, but I've found that the best method is the mother's intuition. Have you thought on a name?"
Belle nodded, "I'm thinking about it," she said, "Though nothing feels quite right. And part of me wishes Rumple could be here to name him with me."
"Best to be prepared, just in case," Agda advised, knowing Belle hated to speak about Rumple as if he may not return. Agda knew all the women in the village, and while all the women insisted their husbands, fathers, and brothers would return to them, Belle was the only person she'd seen who said it with such conviction. There was no room to doubt. It gave Agda hope as well, and she smiled at her young charge.
"He'll be back," Belle said simply, taking another sip of her tea, "I can feel it."
"There's that intuition again," Agda commented before sliding the new book to Belle. "This one will come in quite handy," she instructed, "It's all about treating fresh wounds and the best ways to clean them and wrap them. Though bear in mind the drawings are a bit….detailed."
"I'm sure I'll be fine," Belle said with a smile. She took the book and flipped through it, "If I'm going to replace you, I'll have to get used to it."
Agda made a face and rose, moving over to her work table. She picked up a small vial of liquid and turned to Belle, "You mentioned nausea in the evenings last time," Agda said as she offered it to Belle, "Drink a teaspoon of this right after you eat, and your stomach should settle."
Belle took the vial and held it to her chest, "Thank you," she said.
"Now off you go," Agda said, shooing Belle away, "You need to continue resting. Your father is helping you with your chores, yes?"
Belle nodded. "He is. I am going to stay with him until the child comes, that way I won't be alone."
Agda bowed her head in approval, "Good girl," she said, "And when the time comes, you send for me. I'll be there in a moment."
Belle hugged the woman and left.
~000~
"But I've barely trained in archery!" Rumplestiltskin declared as the Captain gave him and Adi their orders. The Captain shot Rumple a hateful look and stepped closer to him.
"We are short on men and you will do as you're told, soldier. Is that clear?" There was no room to argue, Rumple could see that, so he nodded meekly and grunted when the Captain thrust a bow and quiver into his arms. "Join the ranks," he ordered, "We attack tonight."
Rumple glanced at Adi, who was already strapping his quiver on. Rumple side stepped to him and whispered, "What do they think they're doing, making swordsmen shoot arrows? I couldn't even hit the target in training; I won't be able to hit an Ogre!"
Adi shrugged and pulled on the bowstring, "They're getting desperate," he said softly, "I overheard one of the Generals talking about it. We're losing, bad. They're trying to hold things off until we can get some more troops and supplies from the king."
"But that could take weeks!" Rumple declared, biting his lip when Adi shushed him, "What do they expect us to do? We can't win like this. This is madness."
Adi shrugged, "I know, but we haven't got much of a choice. Just stick with me, and I'll keep us alive."
"I wish I had your faith," Rumple murmured as they made their way over to get their orders.
~000~
The soldiers marched silently, the scouts ahead signaling that there were no signs of the Ogres. It was to be a surprise attack; the archers would draw the Ogres out, killing some in the process. Once out, the swordsmen would charge, attacking the Ogres full force. Rumple doubted the plan would work.
Adi marched beside him, and it was easy to see that the lad was eager. They came to the designated spot, and the Captain gave silent orders for the archers to stand in two rows. They positioned themselves and waited for the signal.
The Captain, the only one in the troop who was on horseback, rode out to the middle of the blood-soaked field and began to shout. For a moment there was silence, then from beyond the trees on the other side of the field, there was a resounding thump. Rumplestiltskin gulped and readied his bow. The Captain shouted again, trying to draw out the creatures, and again there was another thump followed by a horrific roar.
The Captain rode back toward the lineup and pulled out his sword. "On my mark!" He declared, and the archers all shifted, ready to do their duty. "Ready!" The archers lifted their bows as the first of a horde of Ogres burst from the trees. They began sniffing, searching out the disturbance that had brought them forth.
"Aim!" The Captain shouted, and the Ogres' attention focused on them. Rumplestiltskin whimpered and Adi glanced at him, offering him an encouraging smile. "It's all right, Stealth-skin," he whispered.
The Ogres began to advance, and the Captain called out, "Fire!"
Rumplestiltskin took a breath, closed his eyes, and let his arrow fly.
~000~
"I can carry it, Papa," Belle protested as Maurice lifted the trunk with a grunt and led the way out of the house.
"You're carrying my grandson," he scolded, "You worry about him, and I'll worry about the trunk."
Belle laughed and followed her father. She had not mentioned to him that she thought she might be carrying a son, though she enjoyed his certainty. A small part of her hoped for a girl, but she was already so in love with the babe inside her that when the time came she knew she would not care. She was showing clearly now and had been ordered by both Agda and her father to not lift a finger in the last month of her pregnancy. She agreed, but only if she were provided with plenty of books to read.
They arrived at her old home, and Belle smiled fondly at the sight of it. She visited here frequently, but it would be nice to sleep in her old room again. She hadn't missed it much, but in the months since Rumple had gone, she found she did not enjoy sleeping alone. Having her father in the next room would offer a small comfort, especially now that her child was sitting low, causing pain, and ready to enter the world.
Maurice set her trunk on the floor of her small room and wiped sweat off his brow with the back of his hand. "How many books are in there, dear?" He asked with a smile.
"Six," Belle answered sheepishly and Maurice laughed.
"Of course," he teased. He ran his hand over the back of her hair, musing her braid slightly, "You get settled and then get in bed. I'll go take care of the sheep." Belle nodded and knelt down to open her trunk. She pulled out the books and placed them on the table for easy access, then pulled out her inkwell, paper, and quill. She stood, arms immediately crossing over her stomach as her child kicked and prodded, and Belle groaned. She placed the items on the table, and then braced her hands against the edge. "Sweetheart, you have to stop that," she gently fussed, "Mama is trying to get settled, and I can't do that if you're squirming all over the place."
The movement ceased a moment later, and the wave of nausea and pain that had taken her passed. She blew out a puff of air and moved back to her trunk. "I'll be so glad when you get here," she whispered, groaning when another wave of sickness took her. She grabbed a pail that was at the foot of the bed and retched. When she finished, she sighed and wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, "If only because I'm eager to have my body back to myself."
~000~
Belle awoke with a start as an intense pain in the pit of her stomach shook her from her sleep. She reached over, ignoring the feeling and lit a candle. The cramping pains made her nauseous, but after a moment the pain seemed to ease. She breathed a sigh of relief, the sound turning into a gasp as another wave of intense pain overcame her. The pain was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. She broke out into a sweat, suddenly so hot that she thought she might vomit.
Deciding she needed to get out of the bed, perhaps to get some water, she threw back the covers and stood on unsteady feet. She instantly grew dizzy and turned to place her hands on the bed.
And then she noticed the blood on the sheets.
"Papa!" She cried out, instantly filled with fear. "Papa, please!" Her father came rushing into the room in his nightgown, candle in hand, asking what was the matter. He took one look at his daughter, hunched over in pain, and saw the puddle of blood on the sheets - a small amount, but more than there should have been - and he scooped his daughter into his arms and laid her back on the bed.
"Do not move," he ordered. "I'm going to get Agda."
She nodded, and the movement caused her to break out into a sweat. "Hurry!" she pleaded. Maurice didn't need to be told twice. He rushed from the room, and slammed the door with haste. As Maurice left, Belle rolled onto her side, but the pain overwhelmed her senses. She began to cry as the pain seized her in its grip and she lifted up a prayer to the gods that she would not lose her child.
She was brave, but there were some things even she couldn't handle.
~000~
The previous battle had barely been a success. Rumple and Adi had survived with hardly a scratch, as had most of the archers, but the others hadn't been so lucky. It had been hard, seeing his first battle take place, and Rumple was quickly realizing that war was not for him. Glory and honor could surely be found elsewhere he thought, and it seemed he was not the only one. The slight victory they'd achieved did little to lift the spirits of the men. It was becoming clearer that they were outnumbered, undersupplied, and overwhelmed. No one said anything out loud, but the looks the men exchanged when orders were given out were loud and clear. No one believed they were getting out of this alive.
To make matters worse, the camp had received new orders that they would be fighting the next day, and everyone who was able was to be on the front line. It was a death sentence, and Rumplestiltskin was tense with nerves. Adi was doing his best to cheer his friend up but to no avail. Rumple was inconsolable, and though Adi was worried for his friend, he couldn't help but feel excited over finally getting to see a real fight.
Rumplestiltskin and Adi walked along the camp, discussing the upcoming fight. Rumple was afraid but Adi seemed unaffected by the horrors they'd witnessed. To him it was a thrill to go after the Ogres and the thought of death did not make him falter. They were greeted by a returning troop of men who'd been sent out to fight the night before. Several soldiers were in poor condition, their brothers carrying them in on makeshift stretchers. Rumplstiltskin bristled at the sight of a man missing an arm and he quickly looked to Adi for comfort.
"Lucky bastards."
Rumplestiltskin and Adi turned to face the other soldier who'd appeared behind them.
"I think they'd beg to differ," Rumplestiltskin said, casting a pitying glance as another soldier came limping in on a crutch, a fellow man by his side.
The man who'd joined them shrugged and continued, "They're not dead but they can't fight which means they get to go home. It's the only way out of here alive." He gave Rumplestiltskin a pointed look, "When the Ogres tear you apart, pray that they're quick."
Chuckling, the man walked off and Adi looked over to see Rumplestiltskin quivering in fear. "Just ignore him," Adi said soothingly. "He's just looking to cause trouble."
Rumplestiltskin was about to respond when a general approached them. He gathered the men around and declared, "Fortune favors us! Fresh supplies have arrived from the Duke. Today we will not be marching into battle." He offered the men a pleased look. "We'll be riding."
Fear gripped Rumplstiltskin again. "Riding what?" He asked nervously, ignoring the laughter of some of the men behind him.
The general gave him an odd look. "What kind of question is that? A horse, of course." He looked away to address the rest of the men. "Now, grab yourself a cow and Get ready!"
Rumplestiltskin stepped forward, looking at the man with wide, fearful eyes. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
The general sighed. "A cow," he said slowly. "The saddles we just got in; made from the finest leather. We call them cows. Grab yours. So at least the ride to the dune will be a soft one on your backside."
He motioned for the men to follow him, but Rumplestiltskin stood paralyzed. Adi patted him on the shoulder in concern. "You all right?"
He nodded absently. "Yes, yes. You go, and I'll catch up."
Adi hesitated, worried that his friend was having a breakdown. "We'll ride together," Adi offered, "Side by side, like always. I won't let anything happen to you."
"You've always taken care of me," Rumple said softly, "Thank you."
Adi patted his shoulder, and Rumplestiltskin motioned for him to go on. Adi hesitated once more, then turned and left, hoping that when they rode into battle, his friend would be fit to fight.
Rumplsetiltskin was frozen. His mind whirled and spun and raced. The seer had been right. The seer had been right. He raced over to the cage, which had sat unmoved since the day he'd encountered the young girl. He knew in the back of his mind that she wouldn't be there, not after all this time, but he needed her. He needed her counsel. He didn't know what he was supposed to do.
He gasped when she wasn't there, gone like a distant memory. Of course she wouldn't be, but it didn't matter. His life was at stake, and he needed answers. He growled and hit the cage, his anger wild and feral. He had to think of something. He had to get home to his son. He was going to have a son. Belle was carrying his child, and he had to be there. He would be there. He would do anything to be there for his son.
His eyes traveled downward, and he caught sight of a sledgehammer. It lay there, innocent and inanimate, a simple tool used for blacksmithing. But as Rumplestiltskin looked at it a thought began to seep into his mind, between the cracks of despair and panic.
"It's the only way out of here alive."
"You're actions on the battlefield will leave your child fatherless."
Rumple was frozen and unable move. If he was going to get out of here, he would have to do it quickly. He reached for the hammer numbly. He felt a swell of panic within him. Despite his fears, there was a strange sense of resolve. He had to do this. He'd left his family behind to fight for king and country, but what had that gotten them? Countless men were dead, and there were more Ogres coming by the week. Surely they would not miss one man with the reinforcements coming? He was hardly a soldier, and at any rate the seer had been right. He was to have a son, and wasn't it a man's duty to protect and provide for his family? Surely he could not be blamed for choosing his son over death. He had no father. He had no one to show him the way to be a man, and now he was stuck in a great divide as he struggled with the choice between death and suffering. In the back of his mind he knew that this would bring nothing but sorrow for his family, but wasn't it better to be there for them and to bear that shame than to leave his wife a widow and his child fatherless?
He began to weep over the anguish of the choice that really wasn't before him. He knew what had to be done. He lifted the hammer, the weight of his actions making him falter slightly. He looked at his leg, the strong, sturdy piece of flesh and bone. He couldn't fight if he couldn't walk, but he could sit and spin. As long as he had his hands, he didn't need his leg. He could survive without it. It was better than the alternative.
His hands shook as he lifted the hammer higher. His thoughts turned to Belle, and to his unborn child. The image of the three of them together was enough for him. With his mind made up, he closed his eyes. He felt sick and shameful, yet determined. This was the only way. He took a deep breath, summoned his courage, and swung.
He couldn't hear the crack of his bones for his screams.
~000~
Agda rushed in, a satchel bursting at the seams with tools and medicines in hand. She gave instructions to Maurice to boil water and gather towels, then she began to inspect Belle. Agda tsked as she ran her hands over Belle's head and stomach, and the girl cried out in pain.
Agda moved again, gently turning Belle onto her back and lifting her gown up to examine her. Agda glanced up at Belle, who was trying to ask questions, but Agda shushed her. "It's time, dear," she said softly, and Belle cried out in pain.
"I've got you, love," Agda cooed as she met Maurice at the door and took the bowl and towels from him. She shut the door and began making preparations. "You just trust me. I'll take care of you."
Belle nodded with gritted teeth, but she managed to ask what she needed to do. Agda chuckled. Even going into a difficult and early labor, Belle still asked questions.
"You just lie back and breathe," she said. "I'll tell you what to do when the time comes."
Belle nodded, and lifting her hand to wearily brush away her tears, she set her focus on delivering her child, and pushed thoughts of her husband and his fate out of her mind.
She lay there for hours. The pain continued to grow and caused her screams to grow louder too. Belle had never known such agonizing, terrible pain as this. When it became far too much for her to handle, Agda gave her a bit of cloth to bite down on. Belle balled her hands into fists, and her nails dug into her skin creating small, crescent moon cuts that bled onto the sheets, staining them with even more of her blood.
Agda encouraged her to push, and Belle did. Pain shot through her and made her cry out. She wanted Rumplestiltskin, and she cried out his name as if the word alone could summon him to her side. She wept for the lack of him and wished he were there to hold her hand and comfort her through the pain of delivering their child that he did not even know lived. Suddenly there was a pain that exceeded all others, and she screamed and cursed and breathed and pushed. Stars burst behind her eyes as the pain overtook her and for a moment she wanted it all to end.
And then it did. The pain faded to a dull ache, and the pounding in her head lulled. Silence permeated the room, and for a moment Belle felt as if she might drift off to sleep. The silence was then broken with the sound of a slap and a baby began to squall unhappily.
Her baby.
Belle forced herself to open her eyes, and through the dizziness and exhaustion, she saw Agda holding a squiggling lump, trying to clean away the mess from the child's face. Belle watched in a daze as Agda did her work, cooing and humming as she did so. After what felt like an eternity of agonized waiting, Agda finally stepped forward and presented the child to Belle.
"A mother's intuition, indeed. Say hello to your son," she whispered softly, watching as Belle's eyes filled with tears at the sight of the tiny boy in her arms. She began to cry from the joy of seeing her child in her arms and from the agony of knowing that her husband was not here to witness this moment.
"He's beautiful," Belle whispered in awe. "He's perfect. Oh Agda, he's perfect!"
She began to cry again, laughing as she did so. She had never felt so many emotions take her at once. She was like a pot, full and boiling and ready to spill over. Her son was in her arms. He was tiny and precious, and as much as she loved her husband, as much as she adored and cherished him, she'd never felt such overpowering love as she did for the boy in her arms.
"It's only been a moment," she mused aloud, her exhaustion clouding her mind, "And yet I love you more than I can say."
Agda smiled and stroked Belle's sweat-soaked hair out of her face. "Welcome to motherhood, my dear," she whispered as Belle leaned down to press a gentle kiss to the child's forehead. "You'll do it splendidly."
Belle glanced up at the woman and asked, "Can my father come in? I'd like for him to meet his grandson."
"Of course, dear," Agda said indulgently. "But first let's make you presentable." She began to clean up, adjusting Belle so that she could remove the sheets and replace them. She gently washed Belle with a rag and some warm water, smiling softly as Belle refused to let go of her son. When all was clean and tidy, Agda retreated to summon Maurice.
The anxious grandfather hesitantly peeked his head in, and Belle glanced up with a smile and motioned him inside with her free hand. Maurice approached cautiously, and Belle moved over so that he could sit at her side.
"You have a grandson," she said, cooing as the baby began to fuss.
"And he's as handsome as his grandfather," Maurice said, trying to hide the quiver in his voice as he looked upon his daughter's child.
Belle laughed softly, and pressed another gentle kiss to her son's head.
"Do you know what you are going to name him?" Maurice asked, watching the child with unwavering interest.
Belle was silent for a long time. She'd thought long and hard about a name, but she had never been able to commit to one. She narrowed down the list to a few that she liked, but something within her had never let her choose. She wanted to wait for Rumplestiltskin, but it was too late for that. She would choose her son's name. She looked down at him with a smile and watched lovingly as he slept peacefully in her arms.
"Baelfire." She declared, "His name is Baelfire."
Author's Notes:
I don't know about you, but I simultaneously want to squee because of BAE! and cry because of RUMPLE!
Thank you so much everyone who has reviewed this! Your favorites, follows, and reviews are truly touching and it always makes me smile to know you guys are enjoying this story!
Chapter 15 will be posted on the 24th! It might be a bit later in the evening, as I have an event to attend, but it will still be up!
Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time in any way. Agda and Adi belong to me.