Title : Facing Your Fears

Author: landofthekwt

Rating: PG-13

Prompt: Courage (The Wilted Rose Four Spirits Week 21)

CU

Genre: Introspection

Word Count:744

Warning: No

Summary: Kikyou's thoughts after The Entrusted Arrow.

Her own words echoed in her mind " Am I a burden to you, Inuyasha?" Even her reincarnation saw her as a pitiful charity case. Not even when she had fallen toward the miasma or tried to hug Inuyasha as he hung on the tree had she felt so much despair. Her present condition showed

how low she had fallen.

Once she had been the Protector of the Shikon Jewel. Youkai trembled at her name. Naraku feared her so much that he had destroyed a mountain just to obtain a new body which did not contain the heart that loved her. She feared no one.

Once she would have dismissed Inuyasha and gone off to confront herself. It was humiliating to have to him see her in this condition. To think that she had to summon him to find out what Naraku was doing. She had seen what he thought of her.

She was now a feeble shadow of the woman she had been. Dependent on Shikigami, soul collectors, puppets and the souls of young girls to keep her alive. The wounds from Naraku's miasma were still not healed despite what Kagome had done for her. The wound he carved in her was deeper. He had reopened the wounds of fifty years past. Some wounds would never heal.

Once she had a fearless confident young woman. She had laughed in the face of death. Her duty had always come first even if meant dying instead of saving herself. She was just fooling herself. That woman had died fifty years ago. She was just a simulacrum of herself. No wonder Inuyasha and Kagome pitied her.

She did not need or want their pity. If nothing else she was a creature of duty. It would take all of her power and skill to bring down Naraku. If Naraku was going to use Kagome's eyes to find the last shard of the jewel as she suspected she would have to be ready for a much more powerful Narkau whom she might have to face alone.

The time had come to get off her butt and stop hiding. She would never defeat him if she hid behind her puppets and shikigami. Admittedly, she was not at full strength, but as she had told Inuyasha, her spiritual powers were as potent as they had ever been. She would not let Inuyasha treat her like an invalid. When Naraku came back she would be ready to face him.

Even with her arrow, she did not believe that Kagome had what it took to take down Naraku. That is why she wanted to go with Inuyasha to face Naraku. Kagome's eyes were a resource too valuable to waste. She knew Naraku. He had set up this whole plan simply to trap Kagome.

She felt slighted by Naraku. Her threat had been dismissed by Naraku. Instead, he had set his sights on using Kagome. She would never have allowed herself to be used by Naraku. Even when Naraku thought he was using her gift to make himself stronger, she knew better. He must be in possession of the entire jewel in order for her to expel him from this world.

It hurt that Kagome was using her arrow to attack Naraku. She had dismissed as too weak and infirm to face Naraku. Her puppet had been adequate to fight Naraku's allies and incarnations.

Only she could face him directly. She must heal herself and be prepared to confront him directly.

She must put all of fears and doubts behind her Once she had been tricked by Naraku disguising himself as Inuyasha. He had been able to do so because she had let her guard down At Mount Hakurei she had hesitated and it had nearly killed her because she had been overconfident. She had relied too much on his inability to kill her because of his love for her.

This time would be different. Naraku must be killed by any means possible. She would do anything she had to defeat him. Not Inuyasha or she could be spared in this battle. She had told him that he must defend himself against Naraku because she would not do so.

When the time came to dispatch Naraku, she saw herself one on one against Naraku. She would face him down in the end and purify him and Jewel once and for all so that she could cast both of them from the world forever.