I rapped my knuckle against the door. There was silence. Then the door opened. Hanzo stared at me for a moment, then was shutting the door when I stuck my foot into his room.
"The food here is edible." I jokingly reassured him.
Hanzo looked down. "I have no doubt about that." Then more silence. He just put more pressure on the door.
I forced my body to lean on the door. "Take it from somebody who can't, brother. Eat while you can."
He just turned back to his neetly made bed and sat on it. After a moment, I followed behind him and sat on McCree's besheveled sheets.
"What's on your mind? Come on. We can talk." I leaned in close. Hanzo kept his back straight. The poised dragon as always.
Eveentually, he gazed back at me. "It's not my place to say."
"If it's what's troubling you, then you are always free to say it. That's what Zenyatta always said to me."
I could tell it took effort, but Hanzo finally turned to face me. "I have been thinking of when you came back, and showed me your face. It's been haunting me."
His voice was shaking. I coiled back a little bit. So that's what this was about. Zenyatta was right when he said it would take time. "Well, it's not like my face will change anytime soon. I do keep it hidden away." And I felt my visor with my hand.
"It's the fact that you have to keep it hidden." I looked up. "You used to always be so vain, especially after you died your hair. And the fact that, that, I am the reason."
"Hanzo,"
He balled up his fists. "It's all because of me. You are so different because of me. And not just your body. Your confidence is still there when you speak. But your eyes held the deepest betrayal. They were the eyes of a man who died."
"But they are also the eyes of a man who refused to die." He stopped. He looked unsure. And Hanzo was a man who was never unsure. "Look. I died. Dr. Zeigler said my heart stopped for a few moments. But this is a second chance. Few people get a second chance."
"Not many people deserve a second chance."
"Whether you deserve it or not, I'm willing to forgive you." I sighed. Hanzo was so frustrating at times. "Please. You say I've changed. But that's what you always wanted, right? I finally mellowed out."
"This isn't exactly what I meant by that."
I laughed a little. "The Iris works in many ways."
"Is that also something your mentor would say?"
"Yes. He is the reason behind my biggest change. I can only wonder how things would have been if we met before..." My voice trailed off.
"Before all that?" I nodded. He was quiet again. There was more on the ripof his tounge. I just looked at him, and he seemed to get my intent to continue. "What... What was it like... when you first woke up?"
I stared at him. For the longest time I was like that, dwelling on the past. "Don't do that to yourself, Hanzo."
"You say you forgive me and want me to forgive myself, but for years I didn't even know that you were alive. I didn't know what you hadto go through. How can I do that when I don't even know what really happened?"
We looked at each other. Was this his first step to reconciling with himself? Or was it just more pain? It was in no way a simple story. Then I reached up formy mask. If it was to be said, it needed be told eye to eye. But before that, I nudged McCree's spitoon closer with my foot and spat out my gum. The flavor was gone anyway. Hanzo gave a look of disgust at the thing. But his attention turned back to me when I began the story.
It was pain everywhere, so intense and deep that it ate at my soul. The pain was fading. So was everything else. I didn't know if I should hold on or let go. I knew it could only be death if I stopped, I had seen that in my brother's eyes in the reflection of his sword. And death didn't seem like too bad of an option at that point. Better at least then this ache. But I wanted to live. I wanted to eat Ramen one last time, or spend one last night with a lover.
Then everything cut off.
It felt like my next hartbeat was when I was pulled out of that darkness. But I was in a new darkness. This darkness was less menacing. Perhaps that was because of the smell. Instead of burning flesh, it was the smell of sterile air and cleaner. The smell of a hospital, I decided finally. That would explain the steady beeping of a heartbeat monitor. The darkness, it felt like gauze over my face. I certianly hoped my face wouldn't scar. Or maybe just a little. Chicks dig that.
Then I relaxed. It must be one of the high end hospitals the Shimada clan had their fingers in. I was going to get the royal treatment. Hanzo had really made it look serious. He probably didn't mean to go after me so hard. Maybe I should indulge twice as much to get him back? I entertained the thought when I tried to reach for the gauze. But my arms didn't move. I couldn't really feel them either. Or my legs. I tried to move. There was nothing. The darkness seemed more intimidating. I tried to wiggle anything, but all I could do was shift around. The beeping in the background was increasing its tempo.
I heard hurried footsteps and words muffled. Whoever was there stayed still for a moment. Then they put a hand on my head. They were undoing the bandages. The beeping quickened. They stopped and turned away for a moment. I tried to say something, but my jaw had the same emptyness as my arms and legs. I could feel my dry tounge in my mouth, however. But it felt strange in a way I couldn't describe.
And they continued on with unwrapping my face. My fear was quickly subsiding. A sedative? Or just something for my wound up nerves? The layers of gauze came off as light started to filter to my eyes. The faintest brightness hurt, and I twisted my head. Then there was a gentle hand on me. It was hard to tell where it was, because everything was so numb. But I could tellit was there because it stopped me from my silent protest. Then I herd it.
"Please, I'll put the bandages back on in a minute. But I need your permission fist."
Permission? For what? And wouldn't they be asking Hanzo about anything medical? Wasn't that how it was supposed to go if the person, if I, couldn't give an anwser? Considering the inability to communicate would make it obvious which of us to ask. Nonetheless, I stayed still, hoping this would end quickly, or I could at least get to know what was going on. The last of the bindings were off.
Above me was a face I wouldn't mind being below me. I made a mental note to get the nurse's number when I could.
"I am Angela Zeigler, and I am your surgeon." She looked at me, searching in my eyes if I could understand her. She was speeking english dusted with some European accent. A smart foreign chick. I hadn't had many of those. "Do you understand me? One blink for yes, two for no."
I blinked once. As much as I wanted to just get some anwsers, apperantly I'd have to play by the rules.
"Good. Ok, now do you remember what happened?" Another single blink. Hanzo attacked me. "You were badly wounded." Her eyes looked sad as she looked up and down me. My mind stiffened. I still hadn't been able to move around.
"You are stable for now. But there is a lot that we need to do to keep you that way. I don't have permission from my superiors though." She scooted a stool or something closer to the bed. "We know who you are, Genji Shimada. And my bosses consider you a possible asset. You aren't much use as you are now though. They propose a deal. We save your life. You work for Overwatch."
I wanted to ask more questions. So this wasn't some big joke? So Hanzo really did try to kill me? So this was all real? So I won't be able to get out of this bed without agreeing? The thought of ramen and a pretty girl, maybe this one, settled in my mind again. I blinked once.
"Alright then. We'll begin with some surgery in the morning. I'll have Winston start on the fabricating." She got up and hurried to the door. "Till then, just rest. It's going to be hard when we start your rehab."
There was a sinking feeling in my gut. I still didn't have much idea of what was going on. What was I really supposed to do? Anxiety tried to eat at me, but whatever that doctor gave me was keeping it down. So I wasn't even allowed to worry about it. This was starting to feel like the Shimada Clan. My thoughts tumbled over each other as darkness overcame me again.
Streaks of blue and a howling wind.
There was a jolt of fear as I woke up. The heartbeat monitor was running furriously. My eyes traced the ceiling. The same damn ceiling. There was a blanket of dread when I realized it was the ceiling from when I woke up. I still couldn't move. The door opened up and there were hurried steps. The doctor from yesterday, Zeigler, looked at me then rummeged through a small cubbord to my left. It was probably more of that calming medicine.
"It seemes we have a routine starting, hmm?" She tried to give a smile. "But today is your first surgery. We haven't completed all of the schematics, but we'll get them finished soon. We already have basic life support systems working. Today we are going to get you an interal energy storage. You've been hooked directly into our grid since we finished the emergency operations."
I was a bit lost. There was a feeling I would be grunting in protest if it wasn't for whatever it was they gave me. Instead I was just shaking a little. Schematics? Life support? Hooked into their grid? She was talking to me like I was a broken omnic. What kind of surgery were they going to do?
She pulled her collar close and said something into a small mike. Soon after a group of people in scrubs started to come in through my door. She started to talk to them in hurried German. They messing with something behind me. I could feel their hands on my back and neck. It felt like they were putting things in and taking other things out. It almost felt like they were pluging me into something. Was this what they were talking about?
Soon we were making our way down the hallways of the hospital. There were new celing tiles to look at, at least. Eventually I was pushed into a doorway that led to a large room. There were people in full operating gowns. A person, I couldn't tell male or female, set a plastic mask around my face. I couldn't feel it on my jaw, instead it hit my neck. How bad was my face? They looked at me, and their eyes darted away. "Count backwards from 10..."
As I was thinking how Zeigler was the only one who actually looked me in the eye, more of this seemingly constant anxiety bubbled up. But it was quickly washed out as my mind feel into a slumber.
And again I woke up looking at those ceiling tiles. I was really hating those things. The staining along one from some unknown water leak was now a familiar shape. It kinda looked like a cow. Now was when I was really wishing this was a dream.
What was new though, was some weight on my face. Or more spacifically, my jaw. Were they able to fix it? I gingerly felt around in my mouth with my tounge. Before, there was gauze in my mouth. Now it was wet with saliva and had a texture like rubber. It was harder at my lower pallete, that was eddged with teeth. Though they felt unfamiliar. Too perfect, even from how vainly I kept mine clean. Over the teeth was more of the rubbery texture, but soft. My lips and cheeks? The top of my mouth felt normal, albeit still sore. The bottom was foreign. I was so involved with feeling my mouth that I barely herd the steps of a constant face.
"How are you doing?"
I jerked my head. Wait, I could move my head now? Somewhat at least.
"It's good to feel your new jaw. The energy storage was finished faster than we thought, so we went ahead and got you something to talk with as well. Though we aren't sure if you will be able to adapt to a new voice. Nanite technology is already mostly experimental, and to add on all of the mechanical functions as well. Least to say, you will surely be one of a kind when you are finished here."
Tiliting my head to convey my confusion, as well as to feel my new found mobility. It was awkward. Almost as if my brain wasn't talking to my body right. That heartbeat monitor was no longer running, thank god. But she did see somthing in my eyes that made her reach for my medicine. I needed to ask her about that.
My jaw was even more jittery than my neck. She leaned in closer to me, trying to mimic her mouth to mine. I guess she was trying to coach me a little bit, but I could barely tell what my own mouth was doing. I ended up biting my tounge a few times before I could force a sound out of my throat.
"Wh- Whaaaat..." I paused. My voice? It sounded like some autotuned pop song. "Whaaaaat. Aaam. Aiii?" My voice was building in static at the end. I thought back to how it felt to speak before. Not like this, certianlly not like this. This was more like a tone was comming from deep in my neck. But instead of from vocal cords, it came from a distant speaker.
She looked sheepishly around her as she wrote something down on her clipboard. "Your voicebox is functional, I see. With time you'll probably adjust to it."
I didn't want to adjust to it! I wanted to know what was going on. Things were moving so fast and I didn't have any say in anything. Correction; I said I wanted to live. But no one told me what that ment.
"Whaaat amm Ii?"
The good doctor squirmed a bit. Then she set the clipboard down on the cupobard. She reached down to the bottom drawer and pulled out a small hand mirror. Gently sitting on the bed to get a better angle, she tilted it around so I could see what was left of me. My suspicion of lossing my arms and legs turned out to be true. But what I didn't expect was to see my poorly healing face, which was taking on a greenish tint, ending abruptly in a silicone jaw. My hair was gone, and instead there was some kind of metal around the base of my skull. It only continued on, with synthetic muscles leading down to a mechanical set of shoulders with wires hanging from the ends. My gaze traveled further down to see about a ribcage's worth tubes that led from my throat to a small silicone container that was throabing just to the left of center in my chest. My heart? It's beating was in tandem with the pumping I felt in my face. The small thing felt heavy. There was another container of the same material that was much larger and divided into two haves. They moved slowly and with my breaths, the material stretching as they filled with air. Underneath it all was a segmented line of metal, from my head down farther than what 'organs' I had.
"You are a... full body amputee." She carefull found each word as she said it. She spoke them calmly, rationally, and slowly. "Colloquially, a cyborg. What we were able to save was your cranium, your heart, your left lung, and your spine. Your brain and spine being the only thing science can't yet reproduce. You were actually quite lucky. We have reinfored your skull, there was a lot of fracturing. Your spine, which we worked on today, has been reinforced as well. That's also where we intigrated your power systems. Without those, the mechanics and nanites in your system would fail very quickly. It's in the spine so it can connect easilly to the rest of your body, like how nerves line along the spinal column. You'll actually be sensitive to electrical current. Your heart and lungs are encased in a flexible silicone layer that will protect them from shock as well as impact. All silicone in your body is laced with nanites that act as all cells, most notably antibodies. You won't be able to get sick anymore. They will also act as blood cells, exchanging oxygen and nutrients in your body. Though 'blood' wouldn't be a correct term anymore. Your internal fluid is a water based mixture of chemicals and nutrients, as well as more nanites. We're gonna try to get you some limbs next, so we can start calibrating the connection between your brain and the rest of your body. After that, we will case everything into a metal shell to prevent damage to your systems."
She took a breath, and looked over me. This woman was insane. I twisted my head back and forth. A cyborg? Really? That... that wasn't right. I couldn't be a cyborg! I'm Genji Shimada! Playboy ninja of the Shimada clan! A metal body was not... not possible. I felt around in my mouth again, feeling it. It wasn't possible but it felt too real. Too there and not there, too fake and too a part of me to be just a sick dream. I wanted it off of me. I wanted out of this mixture of metal and silicon and nanites.
Then I was calming down again. I looked over to Dr. Zeigler. She was moving an empty tube from somthing near my neck. "I'll get you a perscription for that. Untill you have arms to administer it to yourself, I'll come by and do it for you." My medicine again. "I'd just have it be given orally, but... There wasn't any room in the plans for a stomach. Not a real one at least. As your body intakes nutrition, it'll be through this same port. You'll only need to refill it every six months, but it does take a while to get it into your system. Though, you can make it from a mixture of potatoes and milk if you ever need to. They hold all the nutrition needed by a human. If you make it that way, and eat it, you'll need to have the excess waste cleaned out. I'll show you where when we get that installed. Other than that, your body can't handle solid food."
She was quiet. I closed my eyes. The amount of how much of the situation I could take was passed a while ago. Zeigler seemed to feel it, and her footsteps left, closing the door gently behind her. No more solid food. No more ramen. Well, if she was to be believed, maybe the broth. For some reason, that seemed like one of the worst things to happen. Maybe it was because of what I said to myself when I agreed. There was no way I was going to have anymore crowded beds with a face like this. And now I couldn't spend a couple houdred yen at my favorite ramen shops. Sorror mixed with exahustion. It was a wonder how much I was sleeping.
A glinting maw and eyes that were filled with hate and sorrow.
I didn't want to open my eyes and look at that ceiling again. But I couldn't even turn over to my side. My neck was seriously starting to cramp up. I rolled my head around. My neck felt a bit more responsive, but not much. Then I moved my jaw around to see how it was working. Still jittery. Uhh. Even worse was how dry it felt. Thinking back, it must have been days since I last had some water. My mouth was desperate for it, begging for some relief. Though it was only my top lips that were chapped, the silicon ones probably unable to chap up I thought bitterly, the bottom ones were also uncomfortably dry. Where was that doctor?
So I pried my eyes open to check if she was there. From my view point, all I could tell was that the room was empty. I sighed and tried calling out. "Heellooo?" The sound was strange. I tried again "Zeeeei... Zeeeiggg-" My voice caught off painfully at the difficulty of completing the name. Why did it have to be so difficult to pronounce in the first place?
Thankfully, there was the sound of footsteps comming down the hall. Maybe she could tell I was awake from the cameras in the room. I didn't realize I saw them untill yesterday. The sudden thought of people looking at me seemed like a horrible thing. The thought that it might be Zeigler was a better thought. Though not by much.
She came through the door and looked at me worriedly. She stood to the side like always, ready to administer if needed.
"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
I nodded a bit. "Waaa. Waaaaatr." Close enough. I tilted my head to the side, like a question. The gesture made me think of all the times I had seen an omnic on tv and how they moved their heads for emphasis.
"Oh, I'm sorry. You still don't have that stomach we discussed yesterday. That is tomorrow's operation. Today we are going to get you some arms and legs."
While appendages of any kind seemed wonderfull right about now, the dryness of my mouth was a bit more promonient on my mind. I'm pretty sure I got an A+ in priorities at school.
"I'll see if we can get you a humidifier in here." Then she fished around in her pocket. She pulled out a small plastic tube. Chapstick. She rubbed some onto her finger and kneeded some over my mouth.
She put it away in her pocket and moved behind my bed. It was time to get rolling. "Juusstt yuu?"
"It's condensed into a single cord that connects to the base of your spine." We went past empty halways and found ourselves in the operating room. More obscured faces. But this time, I was able to look around. Over on the table next to me was a complete set of arms and legs. Well, the carbon fiber equivalent. I shuddered thinking about them. Mine but not mine. Then the plastic mask. And before I could think about how the same nurse from before didn't even try to give me eye contact, I was out.
Those same tiles. My mind was realling. How many times had I looked at those ceiling tiles again? How many days was I really here? I'd have to ask Dr. Zeigler. Then I turned over to where she usually stood. She wasn't there. She'd be here soon. Till then... I realized I had turned on my side. Arms, legs, right? Shifting onto my back again. I closed my eyes and tried to wiggle my toes. There was something. For the first time in what was feeling like eternity, there was some kind of feeling in this body. Maybe I could do this.
And Dr. Zeigler came through the door. She smiled plesantly at me. "How are you doing? Any discomfort?"
There was a moment where I tried to feel anything else. I gave a few jerks and twitches. It was mostly impressions of feelings. I could tell I was moving, but not much besides that. "Ii donntt knnnnow."
"Well, tomorow morning is your last actuall surgery. That 'stomach' you've been looking foreward to. Till then, and afterwards is when we can work on calibrating everything. It'll be just like normal physical rehab."
Getting aquainted with this body... it was like I was 5 and told to eat spinach. It's good for me, and I'm not leaving the table untill I do. But can I really stomach it? I didn't even want to look at it. Apperantly nobody else wanted to either.
"Oh, and here." She pulled something out of her pocket and placed it into my hand. She curlled my fingers around it. "Your first homework assignment."
Then she got up and left. I squezed the object. It was small, hard, and a cylinder. Then I shifted my arm, I paused a moment to gather myself, then I pulled my hand in front of me. It was a tube of chapstick, nestled in the palm of my new hand. The small gift fell from my hand and clattered on the floor. I was shaking. Was that because of how I barely hold my entire body from shaking everytime I moved, or because I couldn't stand the sight of the grey appendage. I dropped my arm and let it fall back to my side. It hit the side of my chest with a clunk. I didn't even try to fight sleep. But it still eluded me as I just lay there.
The doors of the small building turning to steel, trapping me inside.
Dr. Zeigler was already there. She was speaking to me. "Finally, awake. That's good. I'm afraid your surgery will be delayed for a while. There are a lot of poeple in emergency care right now. Sometimes missions don't go well."
Waiting. Isn't that all I had been doing? That and sleeping. Not even eating. I bit my tounge a little bit. It had been days, and I wasn't even hungry.
She must have seen the displeasure on my face because she got my attention again. "I think you dropped this, so I'll just put it on the table next to you so you can get it, alright?"
I simply noded.
"Great! Now, why don't I help you up?" She held my side and I reflexively cringed away from her. I didn't want this body to be touched. It felt wrong for it to be touched. Not hurt, but for someone to hold this thing I was unplesant.
Dr. Zeigler withdrew herself. "Are you in pain? Did I hurt you?"
I looked at her questioningly. "Paain?" Well, at least I was getting better at speaking.
"Yes. There are many sensors built throughout your limbs and chasie. You can still feel pressure, tempreture, texture and other things. Pain was the primary concern. If you can't tell that you are damaged, how can you fix what is broken? That's why pain exists."
I mulled over her words. This body will be able to feel things? There was a moment where I was still before I shook my head. "I caan't feeel."
Her eyes blinked for a moment. Then she pulled her clipboard in front of her and started writting something down. Then she set it aside agian, a bit roughly, and stared at me. Her face was twisted into thought. Then she pulled herself upright and pulled a needle out of a drawer. She grabbed my arm with her free hand to keep it steady, and poked me with the needle. She looked at my face for any reaction. There was no reaction to give. She tried poking me in several other places, but all the same. Then she went over to the other end of the room. She pulled down a paper towel and ran it under the tap. She held it for a moment, testing it. Then she quickly came back over and placed it in my hand.
"Is it warm, or cold?"
I just shook my head. I couldn't tell. I couldn't even tell that it was wet. It was just a hollow pressure.
"Hmm, let me look over your files for a moment." She pulled out a hollowtablet. After pressing a few buttons an image appeared of what I could only guess was my schematics. I shiffted at the thought. She manuvered the image to the neck and head portion. She murmured something as she flipped through text files that apperaed alongside the image. "Oh, so he hasn't finished the software."
Then she closed it up and set it back next "I'm sorry about that. It seems that some of your internal software hasn't been completed yet. Sensations are actually born within the brain, not the body. It's more like an interpretation of input from nerves. While I know biology, I'm afraid I'm not an expert in computer science. Because of that, I'm working in conjunction with one of our head scientists to make the software that will act as the interpretation for the mechanical parts of your body. He's been busy with other projects, but I told him this had priority."
She sighed looked over me. Her eyes looked tired. But she kept up the smile. It made me think of a busy mother who was trying to keep track over a handfull of kids. Mother...
"Can you try to sit up? Even without the software we can still start some of your therapy."
I shifted around. Legs, waist, shoulders. Dr. Zeigler didn't try to touch me again. Eventually, I was able to get myself up into a proped position. This new body didn't feel like me. It was something else.
"Good, good. You're getting it! Just try to feel what your body is telling you."
What it was telling me? Right now it was telling me that there were pistons in my arms, wires in my spine, and everything else. It was strange, I could feel feel what was in this body, but actuall sensations eluded me. Stupid software.
"Now, in regards to your new limbs. They will require omnic oil to run smoothly. You can refill your stores of it the same way as you refill on nutrition."
"Eat?"
"Oh, no, of course not! Well, you could..." She had a questioning look on her face. "But what I ment was through the port. Here, I'll show you where."
She didn't touch me, thankfully. Instead she pointed to some place on my back. "Here, there are three ports on your back, just below the shoulder blades. The left and right ones are for nutrition, and the lower one for oil. I'll show you with the oil one, if you're ok with it."
I nodded gently. She pressed in on something on back. Something slid out, and she pulled it out. The empty socket felt bare. held the small cylinder in front of me. These tubes hold what you need. When they get low, it will send a warning to your brain. But it will take a while for them to run low. Here."
She placed it in my hand and gestured for me to try returning it. I twisted it around in my hand, looking at it. The outer casing was a thick, clear, plastic and on the inside was the oil. Oil. I ran on oil. Electricity and 'nutrition' and oil. Shoving the thought out of my mind, I leaned foreward so I could shakilly manuver my arm behind me. I used the other one to locate the hole. I dropped the vial. Dr. Zeigler quickly placed it back in my hand and gave me a thumbs up. I finnaly was able to place it over the slot and pushed it in. After an inch the small tube started to twist itself into place. The autonomy of it felt wrong.
"Very good! Oh, wait, I'm getting a message." Her pager was beeping. "That is our que. The OR is ready now. Lay back down, and we'll get this over with."
I settled back in again as she manuvered us down the hall. I didn't look the nurse this time either.
Back to those ceiling tiles. My mouth was dry so I turned to the small table next to my bed to look for the chapstick. Next to it was a glass of water. I reached for it. They finished my arms and legs apperantly. There were fake tendons beneath a layer of silicon skin. My hand was still articulated utilitarian style, though. I clenched my hand a few times to test it out. It was running smother, but still a little jerky. I looked back at the glass. There was condensation around it. Slowly, I curled my fingers around it. 40 degress. I paused. The data streamed into my mind. I felt it, as much as I quantified it. They finished my software, too I guess. The glass shattered in my hand. Damage, left hand, cut in palm. Minor. It was dull info mixed with a steady sear. The feeling wasn't really of pain, but the impression of it. Still hurt though.
Dr. Zeigler came in through the door. "Oh, is everything all right?" She hurried over when she saw the cut, examining some of the silvery strands of sythetic muscle beneath. Looking over the damage, she quietly sighed. "Well, it's minor. The nanites will patch it up. If any damage is too great then you'll need repairs. So listen to your body. Ah yes, we got your software updated now. Does everything feel ok?"
I nodded. "Yeah." Wow, that sounded relatively normal. Besides the electronic reverb.
She took out her clipboard. "Did you feel pain when you cut yourself?"
There was a moment where I paused, but I eventually confirmed with a stiff nod.
"All right then. Since you don't have anymore surgeries, I have an appointment schedualed for you with physial thrapy around noo-" She stopped herself. "Around midday, then a psychaiatrist in the afternoon. Do you think you're up for it?"
The thought of seeing other people made me squirm a bit. Whenever my favorite hero on tv was a cyborg, or kaizonigen, or anything like that they never had to put up with therapy. Then I had an idea. "Kamen? Mask?"
"Mask?" She was quiet. "I understand. I'll get it done by morning." She got up and left without another word. Then I realized I forgot to ask for another glass of water. I was still thirsty.
Faces turning away in disgust and hatred. One in particullar.
My face was pressed up against something hard. I opened my eyes and looked down at what it was. It was these hands. Sometime in the night I wedged them under my face, like how I usually sleep. I jerked them down to my side, so I wouldn't have to look at them. I'd been avoiging looking at the rest of me as well. Currently,I didn't even know what my toes look like.
Instead I just sat up. It took a little effort, but I got there. Jerking my hand to the side, I grabbed the chapstick. It felt like I was playing one of those claw machines at the arcade. So, I guess I could conisder my life a video game. Hanzo wouldn't be pleased about that. Hanzo. I hadn't really thought about him since that night. Correction, I didn't want to think about him. Already, just the name was stiring up hatred in my soul.
Luckilly, before I continue on that line of thought, Dr. Zeigler came in through the door. "Good morning! Were you able to sleep well?"
"Yees." It was just the waking up that was a bit disorienting.
"Great! I'm just doing a check in for now. I have other rounds to make, but I'll be back in time to take you to your therapy. Is there anything you need?"
"Waater."
She nodded quickly and strode over to the sink and little paper cups. She filled one up before turning to me, "I'll have nurses make sure you have some."
When she saw my reaction she gasped, "Oh, and here's this." She set a metal mask that was in her pocket on the table. "It comes in a few pieces. The cranium casing, the helm and the visor. Go ahead and put it on. I need to go over some of the functionality with you anyway."
I turned the pieces over in these hands. This is the new Genji. The hands, the mask, the juxtaposition made me shiver a little. The three parts came undone easilly. The case around my head fit snuggly over my head like a helmet. The helm kinda reminded me of my old headband. I wondered if these guys had any old pictures of me in my training gear. It fit on over top in a familiar fashion that was actually welcomed. And the visor. The 'face' of the ensamble. It clicked simply in place and the helm slid over it to secure the whole thing. The little steam that shot out the sides startled me a bit. Was it airtight?
"It was actually a good thing that you recomended this. We were wondering how to get you used to your internal interface."
Interface? Like a HUD? I tilted my head in confusion.
"Oh, to help ensure that everything is working correctly, the software installed includes diagnostics checks and other usefull applications."
Apps? Oh yeah. I was the latest piece of smart tech. Did I have wifi? Now was actually a great time to update my status: Going through rehab after being almost MURDERED by my own brother.
Dr. Zeigler pulled her stool closer. "The interface is based off of omnic software. All you have to give is the intent, and it'll boot itself up. So for now, try thinking of running a diagnostics check."
Diagnostics? That ment troubleshooting and stuff right? Ugh. Did they really have to use computer terminology? I closed my eyes in loathing as I gingerly thought to myself. Run Diagnostics...Run Diagnostics... Run... How was I supposed to know this was working? I needed to see if this software was working right. Oh, there it went. Code. I shuddered. It felt like my own thoughts, but from some analytical, computing, mechanical part of my brain. It was displayed on the visor as well. Recent updates were installed correctly. Recent damage was mended correctly. Nutrition at 99 percent. Energy at 100 percent, disengage charging cord. Oil at 99 percent. It went over other pieces of data. This body was practically yelling at me what it was. Xanax introduced to Internal Systems. So that's what she was putting into me.
I turned to Dr. Zeigler. "Diaagnosstics commplete. Aall systemss withhin tolerannces." I stated it simply and defeated.
She quietly scribbled on her pad. "You can review your software as well as a manual of sorts too. It's all in there. You can also message me in the system. Now, I have to go. But if you need anything, just ping me."
She quietly left the room. Leaning back into the bed, I looked at the HUD. There seemed to be a small cursor that was tracking where I was looking. I hovered my gaze over a small red x on the window that housed the diagnostics data. How would I click? I just wanted the data stop. And on th thought, it did. Somehow it felt quiter after the information stopped streaming into my head. I took a deep breath. There was already a nagging feeling that free time was going to be an issue. What I needed was something to do, so my thoughts wouldn't swallow me whole. Was there anything to read around here? Aren't hospitals supposed to be full of outdated magazines? There was a brief thought towards that manual the the doctor mentioned. And like that it popped up.
This body became hyper aware of itself, outlining itself in my mind and in a 3D reprentation on the screen. I nearly gagged. There was a rough shake in my head as I quickly closed the window. I looked to my side. The water and chapstick were resting there. I licked my lips. My hands roamed across my mask, trying to get it off. It clicked in here, right? But how do I undo it? Sighing, I dropped my hands. If I wanted that water, there was only one thing I could do. With a shudder, the manual came up on screen and in my mind. There was a moment where I had to just calm down. When I could finally feel the information without completely rejecting it, I sent out a mental inquiry. How do I get my visor off? Then my body tensed up. The screen showed a step by step process. This body wanted to perform the task it was told to do, like a machine recieving input. Slowly, I went through, or did I just allow it to do it by itself, the motions.
As soon as the visor was off I rejected the program and I could feel it close out. My breathing hitched up as if I had run a marathon. I managed to get my breathing under controll after a while. Those ninja brathing techniques did come in handy sometimes. I didn't want to become reliant on it though. With the visor resting on the bed, I grabbed the paper cut. It squished somewhat, even though I was trying to be gentle. I put the cup to my lips and poured some into my mouth. It was difficult to push it down, my new gag reflex not cooperating. Most of it ended up on my new chest, the cold water a foreign feeling. A few more tries and eventually, I managed to get a few sips down. I could feel it trickle down into some sort of tank.
Sighing, I put the cup down on the small table. When was this therapy supposed to be? Should I ask Dr. Zeigler? A message window popped up in my head. I fumbled for my visor. After a while I was able to click it into place. The window was on the screen when the mask clicked into my hardware. I sat there a while as I tried to figgure out how to use the interface. Eventually, it came down to me doing all of the input mentally, like I was just talking to myself. Though, I realized it was in Japanese. I needed it to be in English. And it auto translated. For some reason all of the 'convieneces' they loaded into my body was just making me feel less human. I shoved the thought out of my mind as I sent the message. A few minutes later and I got a reply. She was happy that I was trying to get used to my system. The appointment was at 2. What time was it now? Oh, and now an internal clock. 1:36. Local time. Local? Where was I anyway? GPS came up. Overwatch base in Switzerland.
My vision went a little fuzzy. Huh? The room was getting kinda warm. I turned to the small cup. Out of water, too. The sink was just over there, though. Jerkilly, I moved my legs over the side of the bed. Though, I didn't want to look at them. So instead I kept my head straight. Gently, I pushed off the bed. And fell on the floor like a child's toy. I jerked up, and down, left and right. A panic took me. This just made me twitch more. An error flashed across my mind. Heat issue? Too many applications running at once along with mental and physical stressors. I hitched up my breathing. I felt like I was roasting in a metal oven. My face was sweating inside my mask. My arms and legs felt heavier. Systems shutting down? No, no, come on, work!
A bang echoed in the room. "Genji!" It was Dr. Zeigler and some other nurses. They lifted me up on to the bed, with the amount of effort they gave, apparently I was as heavy as I felt. Once propped up on the bed, Dr. Zeigler gave me more of that medicine as the other nurses pushed a cart into the room. They unloaded some ice and plopped it down on top of me, around my arms, and between my legs. Systems cooling.
"Genji, can you hear me? Say something." She reached for my visor, but I shakilly grabbed her arm. We stared each other down. The doctor motioned for the other nurses to leave the room. "How are your systems? I got an emergency page that you were overheating."
I let go of her arm. My diagnostics program had automatically started up. "At 70 percent functionality, internal systmes cooling, minor overhating damage, nanite healing system engaged."
Relief swept over her. "What happened?"
"I think I had too many apps up? I just had these questions in my head and this... this system kept giving me anwsers. I tried to get some water, but I ended up on the floor." My voice was going quiet. "And I- I just started to panic. I couldn't move."
She looked at the small cup that was still sitting on the table. "I'm sorry. If you had any questions I should have anwsered them."
There was silence beween us. She pulled out a small pager and looked it over. She flicked it and nodded, seemingly pleased.
"I'll reschedual your appointment for tomorrow." Dr. Zeigler was getting up and grabbing the ice bags. They were mostly melted. Then she placed a couple bottles of water from the cart on the table. "Is there anything else you need? Anything at all?"
"Something to read?"
She smilled and nodded before leaving with the cart. That whole little adventure to the floor wore me out. I still had those aplications running. Quickly turning them off, I relaxed into the bed.
Hot breath from a snarling face.
Familliar ceiling tiles. They were as familiar as this bed. I was getting really annoyed with both of them. Sitting up, I saw that the water bottles were still there. One of them was empty. Probably drank it between sleepless fits. Since I got here, I really hadn't gotten a good night's sleep. It's always nightmares that I never remeber, except for a flash here and there. Trying not to think of them, or the fear they illicited, I grabbed another water and drank some. I was getting better at it. There was still some that ended up spilling on my metal plating.
Placing the half empty bottle on the table, I picked up my mask that was sittling next to the other waters as well as a book. After slipping the mask on, I turned the book over in my hands. It was a copy of The Tale of Genji, in Japanese. I laughed a bit. Either she thought it was funny or it was the only thing she was able to find in Japanese. I flipped through it a bit. Hanzo read a lot of classical literature, so naturally I refused to read it to spite him.
Before I could bet through the first paragraph, Dr. Zeigler came through the door. "Oh, you're awake already. Have you done a diagnostics check for this morning?"
The reminder of the program sent a shiver down my spine. I gave a curt shake of the head. Doing that again was the last thing I wanted to do.
"You're gonna have to do them every morning. Now, your appointment is at 2:00, any other appointments will be at the same time. I'll tell you if there's any reschedualing. And I am serious about the diagnostics checks. Once every morning."
She kept looking at me, waiting. Dr. Seigler probably wasn't going to leave unless I did that check. With a shudder and a deep gulp I pulled it up quickly. "Diagnostics complete, all systems within tolerances, overheating damage repaired."
A chill ran down my spine as I closed it out. Repaired. That was a word I was already starting to hate. Dr. Zeigler just wrote something in her notes. Then she turned and left the room without another word. I sneered off to the side as I grabbed the book again.
The story wasn't bad. Kind of interesting actually. After a while Dr. Zeigler came back. I checked the time real quick. 1:45 on the dot. She was pushing a wheelchair. A wheelchair. There was no way I was going to be pushed around like an invalid.
"Alright, I'll help you get in the chair." She stated as she pushed it towards the bed.
"I can walk," I rebuffed. Maybe I could limp. Yesterday caught me off guard.
"Genji, you're not used to your legs. That's why you're going to physical therapy. Now come here."
I moved away from her reach. "Really, I bet I could."
"No, you can't and what happens when you can't? You end up on the floor and I can't pick you up off the floor alone. You aren't exactly lightweight."
A scowl spread on my face. Not that she could see. I hated when other people were right. Especially when it made me look stupid. So I just scooted closer to her and tried to get in the stupid wheelchair. Then we were on our way down the hallway. I didn't look at the rooms or poeple we passed, but I could feel their stares. All I had to look at where my knees and legs. It felt weird when I flexed them every once in a while and saw the fiberous synthetic muscle move around beneath my fake skin. Then we got there.
It was a large room with several pieces of workout equipment. wrote something down on a clipboard hung to the wall. Then she told me to wait there. As if I could really move. Although, if I got my arms steady, I might be able to push the wheels by myself. Before I could try, she came back around the corner with a man in what could only be described as a Overwatch Tracksuit. He introduced himself as my therapist untill I could get back on my feet. He didn't really look at me, and when he tried to smile it looked more like a grimace.
"I'll do my best, Mercy, but he's a machine."
I jolted a bit. A machine? "I am not a machine!"
He looked down at me, a small flick of fear. "I thought you said he didn't understand German."
"I did not. I said he knew English and Japanese."
Tensing, I realized I had my translation software translate what they said automatically. Did I yell in english of German? Another shiver.
It went like that for several days. In a week, I could shakilly walk without issue. Another week after that, I was running. A few after that and I was climbing again. One week after that, Dr. Zeigler gave me a medical all clear to release me. I got issued a Overwatch uniform, a room and started to go on missions. That was where we found out what worked, and what didn't with my body. Dr. Zeigler even found a way for my body to cool itself off. I was a tool, more than anything. Doing my job was what kept me afloat. Occasional maintanance and repairs were hell, that required a day to recover. I told Dr. Zeigler it was to get used to any upgrades she put in me. The worst one was when I got a shuriken dispenser in my arm. Eventuall, Overwatch disbanded.
Hanzo was looking at me. He mumbled something inaudible.
"Just come get some food, brother." I gave a bit of a smile to him.
He looked back down to the floor. "After all of that. After I caused you so much pain, why are you trying to look after me?"
I got up and stretched my synthetic muscles out a bit. Even they get stiff. "Like I said, I forgive you. I know it was the clan that made you do it. I interogated enough of them to understand that. Besides, even you have to admit that you can't fight hungry. At least this way you can find use for yourself. Master never had to put up with me at the beggining, but I'd think he'd say that seeing yourself as usefull even in someplace like this would be a good start."
Hanzo tried to protest again, but I just grabbed his shoulders. I looked him dead in the eye to give him no chance to argue the matter. Then I pulled him up from the bed and started to escort him out of the room, grabbing my visor on the way out.
There was silence down the darkened halways. Most of the other members had probably retreated to the common rooms till lights out.
"I thought I was supposed to watch over you. Not the other way around." Hanzo whispered it as we walked into the kitchen.
I gave a small digital chuckle. "Well, big brother, I am taller than you now." When I turned around to face him, he had a glare on his face. He always liked being taller than me. He teased me about it when we were boys. "Maybe I should be the big brother?"
His face seemed to tighten even more, if that was possible. "I'm mistaken. You haven't changed a bit."
Full laughter burst its way through my gut. "Neither have you, Broter! Here. Zenyatta made ramen for you. The broth is actually really good."