Author's Note: Grr...there's an explanation at the bottom.
Day Sixty-Four: Heart Attack by Demi Lovato
"Wait, Spencer?"
She looked back at him. He looked a bit anxious and hopeful. It was almost cute how he really thought he had a chance.
It almost made her feel bad that she was playing so ruthlessly with him. But she didn't care.
Her phone began to ring. It was Alison.
"Hey, Ali," she answered.
"Hey. Did you do it?"
Spencer gave her a tiny sigh. "Yes."
She continued the conversation with Alison absentmindedly. Only as she talked about the latest guy she dumped did she realize how stupid this all was. She was twenty-seven and nowhere near even getting into a committed relationship. She had dumped half of the guys in the city already. She never stayed with someone for more than three dates and maybe two quick rounds of sex.
She wasn't looking where she was going and bumped into someone.
"Oh, sorry!" they said in unison.
She looked up at him. He was a bit taller with stunning blue eyes.
She felt like she was suffocated. What was this feeling? It wasn't like anything she ever experienced before, especially around a guy.
"Sorry," she repeated.
"No, it was my fault."
She bit her lip and just walked brusquely away.
Spencer walked into the bar. She was meeting everyone for Emily's birthday.
She walked over to the bar where the birthday girl, Alison, and someone else were standing.
"Hey, Emily!"
Emily looked excited and gave Spencer a hug. "Spence! This is Toby."
Spencer looked at the man standing next to Emily and Alison. It was the same guy she bumped into about three weeks earlier. She still remembered. Suddenly, she was glad she wore her best heels, painted her nails, and wore really great perfume. Still, she was a bit self-conscious.
Still, she'd play cool. "You look familiar," she said, feigning intrigue.
"So do you," he said with mirrored interest.
Spencer was walking out with Toby a few weeks later. They formed some kind of bond over coffee. He apparently liked his just as strong as she did.
And she'd never tell anyone this, but she was a bit scared and self-conscious to be around him. She felt like a nerdy teenager nobody wanted, standing on the side at Homecoming and just praying that some boy would ask her to dance.
Still, she'd never let him know that. Any of it. She'd never say that she liked him, or that he made her nervous. She couldn't fall in love. She knew what happened after love, inevitably; heartbreak. And that would likely kill her.
And also, this. This anxiousness and the butterflies were more trouble than love was worth.
"Want frozen yogurt?" he asked as they passed a Pink Mango yogurt shop.
She nodded eagerly. And then she thought about how dumb she must've looked.
It wasn't fair. She wanted to reach out and kiss him. She wanted to act like a girl and fall head over heels for him. She wished her feelings weren't burning holes in her heart and that she was just numb. And as much as she wanted to blame him, she knew she was the only one to blame.
As she was thinking of all of this, he leaned over and kissed her. It felt so good, but she knew it would hurt most when it was over. She pulled away when air was absolutely necessary, then attempted to say something, but he pressed his lips against hers again.
"Toby, I…"
She couldn't finish that sentence. She didn't know how. That little four-letter word was one that wasn't in her vocabulary. She had never uttered it to someone else in her life. Not sincerely.
"I really like you," he said.
She felt paralyzed, like she couldn't move. So she just kissed him again. Whatever happened would happen inevitably. But she decided it would be best to just let things happen for now.
IDK what happened, guys. I just realized I really messed up the order of the one-shots. This was going to be a really cool song by I can't tell you who, so I'm going to upload twice today. I'm sorry, I guess? I apologize deeply for my incompetence. -Kayson