Chapter 30: Arrangement

It was quite astonishing how it was possible with Claire and Jack living and sleeping within the confines of the Captain's quarters, but she managed to disregard, avoid and not speak a word to him for the entirety of months. Claire reasoned she didn't owe him anything, not after the lashings, no matter the circumstances that those happened under. Of course, apart from spending time with the children, she didn't actually stay in those rooms much. Once she managed to convince Adderton to hand over one of the storage areas for the setting up of her surgery, even the children spent more time with her there than in the Captain's quarters, and then endless days out with their mother collecting medicinal plants.

After overseeing the works of strengthening the fortress day by day, Jack spent his evenings secluded in his study, reading by the candlelight, or in reality, nursing his stomach where nobody saw it needed done. Claire's potions he still had, but he found that more he missed her massages and attentions, overseeing his diet. Rubbing his belly, he closed his eyes, it seemed like he was particularly tired on this day. Certainly, it was dark, but it darkened early so far up north. Perhaps he would have to give in to the tiredness anyway, fighting it never did much good to his health. Jack contemplated retiring to bed, only the adjacent room seemed too far for it. He barely noted the opening door, but once he realised someone was standing at the other side of the desk, he tried to straighten up and look his best, "what is it?" He grumbled at a supposed subordinate, probably asking permission for something. It was also due to his pronounced tiredness that he didn't react till he was hauled out his seat, just to be punched in the nose to the extent he fell back onto the space he occupied a moment before.

"Jamie! Stop! There's no time for this, we need to go!" Claire tried to deter her lawfully wedded husband from keeping his attention on the man she had lived with over the last six years.

"That was for taking my family," Jamie declared, "but a wouldnae assault drugged men, unable to fight back!"

"Druggged.." Jack mumbled. So that was why he felt so dizzy and fatigued.

"I have drugged the entire garrison," Claire explained, coming closer, "hopefully everyone had drunk enough ale to stick."

"I didn't," the Englishman established.

"You wouldn't, as you know that alcohol is bad for your stomach, that's why we're here," Claire stepped between the two men, trying to assure no more violence took place. She held out a vial for him, "you can either drink this, or Jamie could hit you in the head, whichever you prefer," she winced with the offer. Every fibre of her being felt inclined to tend to his bleeding nose, see if it was broken, even as she told herself that it was a big, huge mistake caring for him, he did after all fall back into old habits pretty quickly. Only she couldn't feel like she could erase the last few years just like that. The brunette knelt by his chair, holding up the vial for him, " a sip should be enough." Judging from his sluggish responses and swimming head, it seemed like he already had a good dose. "Please Jack, you need to look like you were incapacitated, just like everyone else."

Jack reached for the little bottle, holding his hand over hers for a moment longer than it was necessary to take the sleeping potion from her, or was that because he was so slow right now? He wouldn't object, this was the plan from day one when they had found out about Jamie. And she would leave him and take his children too, he knew this, it was only a matter of time. He couldn't keep her back, it was a certainty, there was no point to struggling against it. So he poured the contents of the vial down his throat. His life was over, one way or another, he didn't deserve her, he didn't deserve a good life, that was the price of his darkness, no matter how much in the past that was. It was simply the way it was, not hard to comprehend. Forcing her otherwise would yield no results.

"That's enough!" Claire snatched the bottle away from him, "I said just a sip!" She pulled back, horrified, but immediately calmed herself down. He was sluggish, that's what it was, he probably didn't even hear her.

"Have tae haste ye Sassenach," Jamie was watching the door.

"So this is it, his big escape," Jack sneered with his remaining strength.

"We need tae get the hell out of dodge," the Scotsman continued to urge her.

"Jack," Claire ignored the red haired man and remained kneeling next to the Captain of the fort, a hand on his leg, "I don't think you understand. Jamie wasn't going to leave on his own, so it is all the prisoners that are coming. I took the money we gathered and hired a ship that awaits all," she explained mildly, knowing that despite set-up appearances, she was maybe still condemning him to court marshal or worse. During her first few years in the century, the time traveller wouldn't have have hesitated and now that it looked like he was back to his old ways, she reasoned she shouldn't either and yet, she couldn't believe that the man she's shared her recent everydays with, thoughts, feelings and bed, could he be gone? She knew Jack more than anyone else, perhaps more than Alex ever did and was beneficiary of his inner tenderness and generosity the same way as his brother had been. There was no doubt of the good in him, something she could not entirely disregard.

He raised an eyebrow in reaction to the declaration as his head lolled to the side, more he was not capable of under the influence of the sedatives. It meant the end of him, but then again, it didn't matter much, he was lost without her already. A macabre end for a terrible monster, nothing he didn't deserve and then perhaps, the world dealt justice fairly after all. And if that was the fate that awaited him, the children were truly better off with her. His eyes were closing, but he forced one open to peer at the beauty who ended him, not with a curse this time, yet all the same. There was a pistol in the desk, that should be enough to safeguard some of his dignity before he was taken to answer for his deeds. He grunted, making an effort to form the words, "thank you."

Claire was in the middle of getting to her feet, but those words stopped her, made her fall back at his feet. 'Thank you'. She just told him he lost everything and he thanked her? Tears prickling the corners of her eyes, she bit her lip and turned to Jamie, "give me a few minutes. I will follow." At Jamie's hesitant grunt she added, "I'll catch up, some of the men aren't capable of walking fast anyway."

Disapproving, but edgy and impatient, the Scot nodded, wanting to get the prisoners who respected him as a clan chief to safety. Claire followed him with her eyes and only turned back when she knew him out of sight. "Jack," she reached for his hand, "Jack, come with us. The ship's captain has been paid and we're set for the Americas. You can come. Taking Sissy away from you, I never wanted that, it isn't fair."

"No," the syllable sounded unfaltering and loud as if he would've never been drugged, though he did not pull off the rest of the sentence without slurring. His mouth formed a lopsided grin, "my my, Madame Fraser," he sardonically reverted to his old address of her, pointing out that that's who she was now, lawfully, as well as with the distance between them, "you have managed some truly monstrous deeds here, do not regress, I am impressed."

Claire shook her head, tears still stinging and at the verge of falling, "no Jack, please not the dense dark wall you build to protect yourself from the world, you are better than this."

The thin line of his lips compressed further. "Aren't you glad I have forced you to learn how to survive in an eye for an eye world? Farewell Madame Fraser."

She sucked the air in through her nose, standing exasperated, not taking any of his hard facade for the truth. "It's not too late, I'll help you move."

Jack raised lazy eyes at her, "we both know there's no life for me there with you."

Claire sighed, turning, then back again with another sigh. "You've flogged Jamie because you had to, don't deny it." She remained frozen for a moment before she got herself together enough to supply the next line, "I could have loved you. If you just let someone, they could love you," she offered, then reached back to plant a kiss on his forehead, "good bye Jack." With that, she fled.

Tbc