Chapter 3

Onision sat in his bedroom, now fully clothed, with zits building up on his face and body, hair becoming progressively greasier and messier, and fully unaware of how his house was decaying before him. Rats ran by his feet, the walls cracked and paint peeled, as the grass grew up the sides of his home and his neighbors began to worry about his health.

He cried continuously at his computer, desperately trying to edit a new video, but he just couldn't get over his depression. He needed someone to help him get over his broken heart. He decided he would simply ask a fan to go out with him. He went to his twitter and sent out a simple tweet:

"Is my soul-mate out there?"

It wasn't long before he got a mountain of replies, girls and boys contacting him saying "Yes!" and "Please go out with me!" He smiled for the first time in quite a while, and searched through each person until finding the perfect person.

It was a sixteen-year-old girl, blonde hair and pretty brown eyes, named Angela.

Onision knew that she was perfect; he began to send messages to her, and through their long and arduous conversations, they planned to meet up behind his nearest 7-Eleven. Onision was very excited, as he got his make-up and black clothes on.

He was out the door quickly. With his combed dark hair, pale make-up, black jacket, and black skinny jeans, he got in his tesla car and hurried off on a full battery. "Gotta save the environment," he always thought to himself.

It was dark out when he reached the gas station/convenience store. The stars lit his face, as he saw the shadow of his soul-mate peering around the corner. He snuck up to the corner, before dashing around to start tongue-kissing his future-wife.

"It's better than I ever would have imagined," thought Onision, the saliva gushing down the back of his throat. As he planted his tongue down the girl's throat, he heard footsteps behind him. He quickly recomposed himself to face the threat, only to be face-to-face with a nearly seven-foot tall African-American man, clearly ready to fight him.

"What you be doin' to my bitch Angela?" he said to the vegetarian.

"Excuse me?" said Onision, but before he could get another word out, the man tackled him. Onision tried to retaliate, but it seemed his vegetarian muscles were ineffective towards the insanely buff thug. He could see Angela running away, and it seemed that all was lost, as the man began to rub his throbbing chode along his pimpled chest. It was then, that he heard the words that sent him into ecstacy:

"YOU FUCKING NIGGER!"

It was Daniel Keem, Gamma Labs hat, faze shirt, twice as buff as before. He grabbed the black man and beat the ever-loving shit out of him, and sent him off crying. He got down on his knees to help Onision up, before he put a passionate kiss on the Former Reporter's lips. The two kissed for hours on end, before Keemstar picked him up in his arms, saying:

"Come on, Greg, let's go home. I've got a new position I've been wanting to try for a while."