Well this was becoming a somewhat common occurrence; sitting in the back of a jet, with Loki, and wishing she were anywhere else in the known - or unknown - universe. Her hair was a mess from being yanked around by the crazy lie god, her skull equally sore from the game of tug of war they had been playing for the majority of the green-eyed diva's hindered escape plans. Oh, had he gotten a piece of her mind in a garble of curse words and attempted biting; not that it made a difference when you took in to account his superior strength and two steps from the edge mind listening to an internal mantra of applause.
Running a hand on repeat across the worst of her head pain, Kari, continued to 'tsk' at the air in general and ignore the plastered grin on her unwanted companions face. Life was really going well for him, apparently, though what she had to do with all his marvelously devious plans any longer was beyond anything she could conjure up mentally. Dually, asking the prince – was he still one of those or had Odin finally given up on favouritism and exiled his dick of a son? – did not seem like a good idea; not when it came with the unknown bonus of possibly getting the real answer and really wishing she had not.
"Do you not wish to know why I deemed you worthy of joining my glorious campaign? Saved you from such a dreary existence as captive, pest and ultimately abandoned to death by your own people?" Loki continued to grin happily despite his less than enthusiastic audience. "What is this? A tongue so still in your mouth, I thought such only possible when tamed by another." Oh, that had gotten her attention enough to glower at him from across the hold; safe in the knowledge his majesty was alluding to a concussed kiss brought about by a book of dumplings. "I see your travels have not corrupted your spirit, Motter." His devious tone fluttered casually between relieved, victorious and finally playful in a matter of infuriating milliseconds. "Perhaps you might at least wish to know where we are headed, if not any complex line of questioning?"
"If you're not about to tell me we're going to a McDonalds drive-thru I really don't care, Loki." She sighed, giving in to the tricksters game in the least painfully 'on her knees' manner available.
"You lie."
"Well a liar would know all about that now wouldn't he? But in this case I'm still waiting for my McChicken sandwich and a McFlurry and fuck all this shit till I get some." Kari allowed herself a languished eye roll followed by a good old fashioned arm folding and 'let him stew in that' air of dismissal.
"When we arrive see to this… muck chicken flurry." Loki called her bluff – or was it – as he turned to command his disgustingly midgardian soldiers in the cockpit of the vessel; much to one man's nodding confusion and silent shrug to his pilot colleague.
"Seriously?" Her curiosity was peaked, if only at the prospect of a real honest to god take out session that no FBI five star chef could come close to.
"Would I lie to you, Motter?"
Well, there he had to go again, rising and dashing her hopes in one swift motion, like the grim reaper on one of those working farm yard holidays; speaking of, Loki, should probably look into that as a career choice if the whole 'taking over the world' spiel got him nowhere. Grim reaper was so up his alley, with all the black and people on their knees begging him to let them live.
"You killed your brother." She spat at him as both accusation and evidence to the contrary against his character and previous statement.
"If my… Thor, were so easily defeated by such a simple ruse and descent, do you not see how such a death would have befallen that simpleton centuries ago?" He leaned forward in his seat, the green of his eyes practically becoming luminescent – all the better to see her. "An amusing diversion, nothing more." His smile was perfect beyond a fault; completely and utterly fake as if he were not ashamed of the cheesy acting.
"I saw him fall! I saw that drop!" Nonetheless, the curly haired woman seemed to buy what she was being sold in exactly the way he knew she would. "Don't talk to me like I'm a stupid, stupid child! Nobody could survive that! You're a god damn monster!"
"Motter!" His tone reeked of warning the young woman would no doubt only take as a challenge to rise up and accept.
"No! He was your brother-"
"HE WAS NOT MY BROTHER!" Well, almost the way he wanted to steer her, if only he could manage his own emotions of late and keep to the script; why exactly was this old news affecting him still? "He is not my brother. He never was."
"We're here, sir." The pilot called from the safety of his side of the ship to the bickering passengers.
"Your timing is very fortunate." Loki commented darkly, his green gaze hard and incensed, refusing to leave the bewildered blue staring back at him.
As the little airship came to a bumpy conclusion to its journey, the exit making itself visible with quite a fanfare of hydraulic hissing, Kari did not need more than the threat of further touching to get up from her seat and side-step the would be king out onto the landing pad. Where the heck were they now? At least it was closer to the ground than the hellicarrier but still quite a ways up if all the tops of skyscrapers were anything to go by. Before she had the chance to really get a feel for her rooftop vantage, the thud of boots to her right brought her back from her reverie with a sigh followed by some squirming as a hand was lightly placed across her lower back.
"Inside, Motter." Loki commanded with some authority and a light push of the smaller woman towards a set of steps leading up to a expensive looking penthouse.
"Whatever." She grimaced away from his touch once again; stalking begrudgingly in the direction she was ordered if only to escape her creeper captor.
Whose ever place this was they had to be loaded what with all the floor to ceiling windows and caveman rock walls. Oh and there was a proper log fireplace too and a bar.
"Thank god!" Kari was on that bar scene like a bad rash after a one-night stand.
If only there was a television, she could find, instead of all the boring looking books and pottery. Even the artwork was a bit on the arrogantly dull side; must belong to an old man or maybe it really was Loki's Earth house. Whatever, there were a lot of glass cantors full of alcohol to sniff and figure out what was what; not even the impending trouble with mister trouble himself was going to distract her from the task of finding the ingredients for a sex on the beach.
"I see you have made yourself at home." She really did not need to turn around to figure out who was getting in the way of her liquid sampling.
"Yeah, well." She began chewing on her lower lip, weighing two bottles of different hues of brown in both hands – they both kind of tasted the same to her. "Being drunk will probably make it easier to tolerate your really bad ramblings and all the crap about disowning your family or something. I'm kind of surprised nobody disowned you first and what with you being a lying liar someone's gotta bring the truth to the table. Hey, do you think this is brandy?"
"I see Thor has kept you in the dark-"
"You mean, er, all that stuff about you ruining some party and so keeping your douchebag dad on his throne? Yeah thanks for that, anyone would be better than ole one-eye for me… well, maybe not anyone, you'd kinda suck and whatever."
"Are you quite finished?"
"Hah!" She paused to knock back a rather large gulp of bottle number two before pushing it back onto the bar and grimacing at the taste. "Oh god, that is so not nice." At least, Loki, was good for one thing at the moment; distracting her from vomit worthy hundred year old scotch by turning all blue and red eyed. "Oh… well… uh, yeah? I mean, I can, um, do that too."
"My appearance is not by magic." He paused for a little more dramatics to the unsurprising reveal before turning with a melodramatic swish of his leather coat to stare out of the window fading back to his pinker appearance. "They kept it from me, Odin, lied to me all my life choosing to confine me like some stolen relic-"
"Yeah, you have the dumbest definition of 'confined' since ever." Kari clucked her tongue less than enthusiastically, coming around the bar in order to do a little leaning – so her favourite thing – and sip on a glass of possibly rum, guava juice and whatever bottle number four was. "It's like you don't even know who the fuck you're talking to! Like, you know, you don't even remember what you did to me! What you let other people do to me!"
"Poor Karian Mott-"
"Oh god, go have a self-pity party to someone else, Loki!" On second thought, her strange mud coloured concoction was so not getting better after sip number three. "I don't care! I don't know why you'd think I'd ever care! I don't care about you, about your stupid problems or your stupid face aaaaand most definitely not about your stupid 'woe is me' tale of neglect in a big palace with servants and, and the, stupid right of way to do whatever you want to aaaand with whoever you want with no consequences! So what, you're all blue on the inside, get over it; get over whatever this bullshit is. I mean, god damn you! You what, got adopted and you're crying about it? I was in foster care since I was six! Six! And nobody ever wanted me! If anyone, literally, anyone had adopted me I wouldn't be acting like such a bitch about it! Fuck you, Loki! Just go ahead and jump off the side of this goddamn building and leave me the hell alone!" Oh shit, when had the green-eyed terror gotten all up in her personal space; sure while she was raving and waving her arms about and being vulnerable enough to get caught in his heat seeking arms and horribly soft lips. "Asshole!" Kari, finally realizing what was happening, rolled her head back out of his kissy faced reach and took to punching his chest with some ignored enthusiasm.
"Kari-" He was trying to placate her which was only making her more angry and jointly embarrassed.
"Don't you 'Kari' me you stupid… stupid!" His grip finally loosened about her waist, if only because the mischief-maker was in the throws of hilarity; which came with a distracting quality to her current flight mentality. "Stop laughing at me!"
"Forgive me; I have missed your amusing-"
"Well I haven't missed you!" Kari screeched, pointing an accusing finger attention seekingly under the madman's nose.
"Liar." He countered, suddenly sobered enough to bypass her finger of justice and capture a pair of widened blue orbs with stern green.
"What the hell is this?" She trailed off into a squeaking pitch, as her question became hijacked, by a pleading look and soft hands claiming her lifted appendage, in order to force against his cheek in a caress. "Stop it!" Kari desperately tried to pull away again only to find herself wrenched forward by the counter force; back into a terrifyingly cuddly Loki. "Loki…"
"In this new world I am creating, you would be its queen, my queen. Is that not obvious?" Oh this so had to be a joke a really unfunny bad joke and yet his features were all business.
"What the… Loki, reality please, Kari does not like you. Kari does not-"
Oh god, he was at it again, all up in her personal space and trying to play tongue twister with a super surprised but totally unwilling partner. What else could she do? Not lay down and take it like a man for one thing. With an eyebrow lowering annoyance but a knee raising hostility, Loki soon found himself groaning and fighting against the urge to keel over into a ball as he released his prisoner in order to cup his crotch protectively. He so needed to get the point by now and add some armour for his little friend amongst the rest of his leather attire. On the same token, Kari really needed to learn how to run away faster and more quickly after dealing that kind of family jewel shattering blow to a man; especially when said man had a spare arm perfect for a little back handed pimp slapping.
"Why must you make everything so difficult?" Loki growled with an added hiss before stalking the two steps over to his so not interested play date currently fighting back a good cry on the floor; dipping down to lift the curly haired woman up by the collar of her vest, which she had to willingly follow up or lose it in a moment of bare breasted nudity. "I will have you, one way or a-ah!"
It probably was not his best of ideas, gripping a desperate, Karian Motter, by her clothing and leaving his hand right there in front of her face. She bit him - he deserved it - really hard if all his yowling and stumbling about was any indication. With the green-eyed, not taking no for an answer, monster momentarily distracted once more, Kari, finally learning from previous folly took off like a bat out of hell in a jumble of limbs towards the back of the room in search of stairs or something to get her the heck out of the spider's lair. A door presented itself as a possibility and she far to willing to accept a gift horse on the first glance; half colliding to open it and remembering to shut it behind her for the sparse few extra moments it might detain her chaser.
Upon wide-eyed, air gulping, lucidity, however, her rational mind became somewhat unhappily aware of the new rooms purpose and so she squealed in exasperated fashion. A bedroom, really? This was so not what she needed right now with Casanova proposing some sort of insane royalty pact. No hope, nothing for it, the window would have to do. She could fly right? Well it was only that one time it had happened by freak accident.
Running to the right side of the room, trying desperately to ignore the large playboy bed, Kari forced open a double window as the sounds of an unhappy Loki came booming through the bedroom door with some brooding pizzazz; if only she had some hope of rescue or other things to distract her unwanted pursuer. Lips down turned in an unpleasant inhaling hiss; the curly haired woman threw one leg and then the other over the windowsill until her feet dangled as her rear balanced her weight precariously on the seated edge. Hands gripping either side of the opening, she stared down at the all together terrifying drop to the concrete world below; a sense of vertigo suddenly swirling in the pit of her well digested, yet eager to partake in an evacuation, stomach.
"Karian…" Loki's oddly worried voice caressed her ears in a calming hum; apparently he could believe suicide as just the kind of crazy she were capable of. "Do not be foolish. Your life is worth more than this end." He kept himself at a reassuring distance, trying not to startle her off the ledge before he managed to seduce her back inside, yet close enough to make an attempt to jump and grab. "Come back inside. Please." He added that last bit as if remembering his Ps and Qs might actually change the outcome of this little before dinner show.
Craning her neck around, Kari, gave the would be king a flustered glance before her attention was once again focused on the outside world. A crow flew past, but she was not a crow. Traffic sounded horrendous in the streets below; it would so not be a good day for any of those people down there if she splattered on top of a car bonnet. Her whole body had frozen, fingers gripping the sides of the window like a vice. Could she do this? What was she doing? Thought was becoming more and more difficult as the seconds, droning on like hours, passed her by in disinterested fashion. As if to dare her onwards, or irritate her back, the wind chose that moment to tussle at her hair and chill her exposed skin with goose bump, teeth chattering, abandon.
"Loki…" His name parted her lips as a partially stolen whisper at the New york skyline.
Ears already strained to hear every inch of sound, he did not miss the particular pleading tone and fear dripped call for help. Arms rushed forward, encircling her in his warmth as he pulled her back inside the room with no fuss or fight. An uncertain death or the devil you know.
Anxiety, adrenaline, flooding out of her body with every quick shallow breath she inclined further towards his upper body as he continued to hold her, back to him. One arm wrapped around her shoulders the other gripping the bottom front of her vest as if he were afraid she still might fall from the now closed window ahead of them. She felt his chest reverberate against her spine as if he were readying words but only a warm sigh rushed into the mess of curls shielding her neck, causing her to shiver momentarily as he leaned in closer, forehead braced against the top of her head.
Time felt frozen, her heartbeat returning to a slower pace as she continued to stare out at the city, until a twist and pull leading her body to turn and face him with a shocked gasp. His eyes were still partially wide, as if fear had only recently began vacating the premises and several more boxes to load up, her own caught up in the deepening shade of green staring down at her. A rush of warm air coasted past her cheeks as his lips parted, the sensation causing her to realise the close proximity they were sharing and the intimate nature of her hands fastened to his chest – not that she could look away.
Movement, skin on skin, warmth and the flavour of another on her lips in a chaste kiss before their eyes were glued onto one another again. She was not sure what she was thinking but it certainly did not seem to be anything negative.
She let him kiss her again, allowed him entry, tongue on tongue in a game of taste and moan; eyes closed tight as they filled one another's lungs. It was not so bad, he was far from the worse kisser she had ever experienced and boy had she tried a few in her time. This was even better than her fuzzy memories of when previous they had kissed; it was as if every fibre of the tricksters being went into the action, an overwhelming wave of primal desire and lust filled need enveloping her in a sheer spectrum of burning ice. It hurt, her lips becoming swollen, her throat raw from the passage of gasping breaths even as he retreated only to delve under curls and taste the skin of her neck and collarbone.
Squirming, not unpleasantly, at the sensation of hands everywhere at once she opened her eyes to stare up at the ceiling and catch her breath. Cool fingers traced her fevered skin under clothing, her attire becoming removed somehow as her conscious found a safe cloud to lay upon – or was that just the bed?
She felt strangely alive and dazed, even as his teeth nipped and grazed her skin seeming to find every sensitive area on her body and bend it to his will in a spine-rolling hiss of pleasure. When he reached her thighs was the worst part, because then she knew what was coming next and how her ever so treacherous body would surrender to his well-rehearsed tongue on her most vulnerable spot. Loki hummed with amusement as she squealed at his ministrations, throwing her head to the side to hide her continued groans in a pillow. It did not take him long to taste the fruits of her climax, allowing her a moment of panting calm to collect her thoughts as she stared wide eyed up at the ceiling once more. Her whole body was shaking, but not from cold or fear, as he peppered her legs with kisses from toes to naval.
The smug look on his face was possibly the most annoying sight she had ever beholden but at least there was a simple way to stop that. Pushing herself up onto her elbows, Kari, glared the god of lies down before throwing herself at him with arm to neck wrapping fashion and demanding upon him a taste test of his mouth. The overwhelming aroma of herself drowned her would be king out with some gusto coaxing her on in the need to take control of the situation and reverse their roles until he lay beneath his captive and succumbed by her thighs.
"I se-"
"Shut up." Her words were a simple, quiet, command that he so willingly obeyed.
Her expression was hard, eyes glued to his own, as cold blue and amused green fought a battle on the spiritual level. Even as she began to move, his fingers digging deep pitfalls into her hips, there was a silent dare between them of some kind. A game of chicken concluded, the trickster, shuddered a lengthy exhale first as his lips parted in ecstasy; a more fun game he had not expected as this one and losing so pleasing a thing. But all good things must end. He snatched at her wrists, the ends of which braced against his abdomen, before yanked her arms up and rolling her in a struggle of tangled limbs until she somehow found herself aggravatingly below him with her knees pushed up against her chest.
Their connection now deepened she found herself the loser of the next round of games; shoulders rocking in infinity shapes as he forced her arms above her head and lower body tight with sparse moments of loosening to the bed. Biting down on her lip, eyes pressed shut, Kari, shook her head on repeat against the building warmth in her nether regions. His breath was hot, ragged, against her forehead before she sensed his movements back to her neck followed by a brief moment of painful sucking; a mark left as his calling card. Gasping at the sensation she wriggled uncontrollably under him until his restraints loosened and she felt her weight lifted forward against him until they were seated one on top of the other.
Continuing to rock his hips back and forth into her, their lips met again as his hands roamed upwards to her bare breasts just begging to be kneaded. She made a short sharp startled noise at what was transpiring; her arms soon wrapped around his neck to support her body from awkwardly falling backwards to the unknown now his own were otherwise occupied. That building sensation was at it again, this time causing her toes to curl and her lungs to tighten as if trying to explode. Rolling her head onto his shoulder, her teeth finding purchase in his skin with a recognised hiss, she gripped tighter on his body still. The lubrication of sweat between their skin only made the increase of speed pass easier; Loki's fingers now finding purchase spread across her rear. A tense moment of desperation and pain passed between them, one call followed by another, before wave after wave of full body release flooded sensory systems.
And then it was over, two bodies fighting for air as they clung to one another. As if a sickening after thought, Kari, suddenly began crying much to her lover's confusion – it had not been good enough to warrant that. With an amused chuckle he pushed her upper body away from him far enough so their eyes could meet.
"Must you always-"
"I slept with Balder."
The change in his expression was so sudden she could not be sure whether he had actually struck her or her head was just ringing at first. Well not until she noted the way his hand hovered in the air.
"It's your fault, you shouldn't have sent the dress." Her mouth was a gift that just kept on giving and the back of his hand the thank you. "He was better."
She squelched her eyes shut, braced for a third strike but nothing came. Upon opening them, Loki, stared across from her on the bed with a haunted look in his eyes; there was no way in hell, Kari, could feel any more guilty than she could at that moment.
"You-"
"-heartless bitch?" She finished for him. "Sorry."
Pausing his escape plans, hearing her muttered apology, the mischief-maker sighed a parting kiss atop her downcast head; the shifting rise of the bed signaling his departure.
Feeling awfully sorry for herself, draped under someone else's duvet, the curly haired woman had a bit of a sob on her lonesome. She was not sure how long she had been laying there like a child scared of the monster under the bed but as she finally coaxed her head free of her pity cave, Loki, was very gone along with his clothes. The CIA gym clothes she had been loaned, given, whatever, on the other hand were folded neatly on the edge of the bed as if an indication as to what had just occurred; Kari being the messy type to never fold anything so it obviously could not have been her doing.
Getting up, ignoring her nudity but taking the time to cover her chest with both arms, Kari maneuvered around the large bedroom until she came to an adjoining bathroom. A shower, she needed a shower and who cared if all the cleaning products were for men in this one. Smelling like sea breeze, lynx and old spice was seriously the least of her problems of late. What the heck had she been thinking? Loki? Well that one was simple enough, she had wanted him to leave her alone and all the persuasion had somehow got a little tangled up in the mayhem. At least crying in the shower was okay, all the tears blended in with the water and her rather uncomfortable snorting whining drowned out by the cascade of falling droplets. It was not as if anyone cared about her anyway and now she was stuck in a penthouse with Loki? Maybe he would let her leave now? Or maybe, he being a narcissistic madman, was going to kill her instead? Whatever, she had more important things to worry about now like… Oh, was that hair mousse by the way too big for one-person sink? Where was she, right, more important things other than extra shiny, frizz free curls, you know, like a towel and some clothes. At least the first one was easy enough but on further inspection of the bedroom's other furnishings, the only clothes she could find were for men.
An explosion of sorts caught her attention next, having thrown on a Led zeppelin t-shirt and her black sweat pants, followed by raised voices both of which sounding highly familiar yet only one belonging to Loki. With a worried sigh, Kari, eased open the bedroom door as quietly as she could manage and slinked her way on tiptoes along the corridor to get a better look at what was happening back in the main room with the awful bar. There of course was Loki, carrying around his wizard staff – the other one - once more, as he was talking to someone hidden from view to her right.
"No drink? You sure?" Stark was busy enquiring from behind the bar, a canter of brown substance number three in his fussing hands. "I'm having one."
"Please, tell me you're here to rescue me?" Kari blurted out, alerting everyone to her presence before her brain had the chance to warn her to stop.
"How quickly your loyalties turn." Loki sounded pissed, venom practically oozing from his metaphoric lizard mouth.
"Fuck you, Loki." She scowled away from her prospective savior to jailer.
"I believe you already have, Motter."
"Well, I bet you could do with a drink, Sue." Stark cut in, not missing the war of words or their meaning as he selected two glasses from behind the bar and began pouring into one. "Nice threads. Look even better on me."
"Um…" She trailed off finally realizing whose home this really was and almost stumbled whilst receiving a glass of neat scotch; at least someone was a gentleman around here getting a lady a drink first. "Thanks."
"The Chitauri are coming…"
Loki was back to his rambling, mad god, ways once more; his back turned to his audience as he stared out the window. The glass of liquid brown in her hand was far more interesting by this point, all her focus lost in dark golden hues as the light cascaded over her beverage's surface. It still smelt as vile as the first time she had sniffed it and no doubt still as gross tasting but by this point in the day, her life in general, anything to numb out the world and all its male prancing would do. She lifted the glass to her lips, tipping it back and downing the contents within in two consecutive gulps before releasing the empty container back into both hands with a bitter yet satisfied exhale. Oh god, that really was grosser than she recalled.
"How will your friends have time for me, when they are so busy fighting you?" Loki was swanning over to his intended victim, staff raised in blue glowing bliss; and yet things were so not going his way. "This usually works."
"Oh, well, performance issues, you know, not uncommon. One out of five-" Stark was cut short from his attempt at witty reprise by a hand clasped around his throat and a very angry, and possibly embarrassed, Loki tossing him like a rag doll across the stone floor; it was not anywhere near a common occurrence when one of his superb spells went awry.
"You will all fall before me!" He hissed menacingly into the other man's ear, clasping the suit less man of iron by the jaw.
"Deploy!" Stark choked out seemingly at the air itself before being lifted and tossed out a top floor, skyscraper window. "Deploy!"
If she were not already in a skittish state after watching a man being thrown to his death right in front of her the explosion of sound to her left had certainly decided to finish the job. Kari screamed, unapologetically, as a rocket of some sort ignited mere feet away from her and shot out of the building narrowly missing the green-eyed monster – unlucky for some. The empty glass in her hands was lost, having shattered into pieces when dropped carelessly on the stone tile flooring – at least there was plenty of other spills of broken glass all over the place to hide the mishap amongst -, and her ears were ringing much like the incident with the grenade back on the pirate kings ship; but at least this time she had not been blinded and nobody was kicking her. Got to take the good when it comes, especially in her life.
As if matters could not get any more bizarre, scary or damn right violent, the guy that was thrown from the building had returned in his iron man outfit and took a rather magnificent, close quarters, shot at the fallen prince. She would have laughed, probably should have laughed, but hey this was seriously terrifying and Karian Motter was a coward at heart so too the bar she squat ran. At least the bar had one great use, if not for making cocktails, it was just the right kind of place to sit under and hide from all the weird shit going on outside. If she got lucky, maybe Loki would not find her hiding place and have to fend for himself and trip out of the permanently open window; hey a girl could dream.
Was that explosions she was hearing? And long distance screaming? Okay, seriously, what was happening now? That so did not sound like just Loki and Rat face going at it anymore.
Sucking in a lung full of, hopefully, courage filled oxygen, Kari, reached up to the edge of the bar and began pulling herself slowly upward until her eyes cleared the surface and the view of the world outside came into sight. The room she was in lay empty, apart from all the broken glass and 'meh' paintings. Taking her chance, the curly haired woman stood to a slightly hunched, nervous, height as her wide-eyed stare got a good look around her for signs of predators. Nope, definitely nobody here and yet there was plenty of people flying around the skyline.
"Oh my god." Kari stuttered around the bar and half skidded across the messy floor for a better sight seeing out the penthouse windows. "Aliens? Real honest to god aliens?"
Okay, well, this was a lot weirder than she thought possible. Yeah, technically her grandfather and all his friends were aliens but they were not the alien kind of aliens. They were just kind of slightly bigger, sword crazy, humans but the ones flying about pew pewing outside were proper aliens. They were 'uck' looking and everything; also trying to take over the world now she thought about it harder and where exactly had mister bad gone to? Was not this whole rule the world thing his gig today? Oh, this was good, he was probably out searching for the leader of the proper aliens to shout at them and… no wait he was just outside standing on the weird long balcony and gloating over the destruction like it was so his idea.
"Urgh." She groaned just as a red blur dropped like a ton of bricks just outside the window and landed in a Thor shape across from the trickster.
"LOKI!" The bimbo was yelling at his brother much in the same way the two boys always did when arguing about something. "Turn off the tesseract or I'll destroy it!"
"YOU CAN'T!" The whine in Loki's voice so did not go unnoticed to anyone with ears. "There is no stopping it. There is only the war."
"So be it."
Kari rolled her eyes at the display of male dick swinging followed by attempting to bash the others head open and tearing the balcony up around them - poor pot plants. The whole debacle reeked of that one time they were fighting over a harlot named 'Serana'; and here she was having thought Thor had changed since the whole love interest thing. Whatever, she was so not in the mood for this and now bottle number three was in her blood stream she had to admit it had quite a nice calming kick for a yucky old man drink. Well she might as well have another glass and wait for them to finish – it could take three days like the last time.
Pouring a little of cantor three and four into the same glass, Kari, sipped on her drink and sauntered about picking up then putting down boring looking books on a mixture of science stuff, engineering and a autobiography for some old porn star or something – sadly it was probably the most interesting thing in the whole place. By the time she remembered to check in on the bickering brothers, Loki, had made some sort of daring escape leaving Thor decidedly grumpy and tugging a shank out of his side.
"Thor!" Kari called over to possibly her only friend on planet earth, half a glass of bransky swirling in her hands as she merrily approached him outside.
"Fandralkin." Well he did not sound pleased to see her or perhaps it was just his distraction at being stabbed by his brother and in the middle of a high intensity double space alien battle. "You are well?" Apparently he had at least taken note of the alcohol in her grasp. "Has my brother-"
"Shhh, let's not talk about stuff. Let's, you know, stuff, like, er, that thing when you… away, yes. Um, yes, let's away from here and whatever."
"I think not in your current state of mind, friend." The bimbo's infectious smile found some purchase across his previously troubled features at her general slur and fall into a drunken friendly hug. "This is a situation most dire and I can not protect you as well as the good people of this world."
"Huh?" She leaned away from him, skeptical of the words coming from his mouth as if she were merely hallucinating the entire conversation.
"Stay here, Fandralkin. It is safest for you in this place and when this is over I shall return for you, you have my word."
"Huh?" Her finger was raised as if about to ask a serious question this time but alas the red cape wearing thunder god had flown away via hammer wings. "Argh! Is he serious? Are you serious? Don't just leave me-ah!"
Someone was shooting at her, or around her or just near her; whatever, someone was shooting and she needed to run back inside and hide with the booze – someone had to keep it safe from the invasion. As if some sort of consolation prize, however, upon screeching back into the busted up penthouse someone had magically left an unopened McDonalds takeout bag on the coffee table and by the gods was this just what the doctor ordered. Well she had been drinking on an empty stomach, not having eaten since the evening before even if it had been the biggest meal of her life.
"Oh my god!" She cooed at the packaging, her bransky deposited on an empty surface in favour of culinary delights. "Whoever left you here is like my hero or something." Her fingers were so in that bag and pulling out a lukewarm McChicken sandwich and runny strawberry McFlurry. "Ugh, strawberry? What the hell! Oh forget it, I'd eat you even if you were that nasty mint one they do at Christmas. This so better not be one of those, er, night things. Dreams, hah!" Kari chuckled as her rear dead weighted onto the many seater sofa and she began yumming down her first real McChicken sandwich in two and a half going on ten years. "Oh my god." She kept repeating between bites like an orgasmic mantra Loki wished he could conduct out of her. "Oh my god!" She had somehow lost her shoes and was currently sprawling her bare feet all over the coffee table and kicking the empty takeout bag off in all her pleasured squirming. "Fuck this is good…"
Nothing could break her out of whatever, plasticine chicken, strange tasting mayo and long dead lettuce good time she was having; apart from maybe Loki showing up. Which he sadly did via smashing through what was left of the top floor windows, colliding with a wall and then being followed by a gigantic green ape thing that roared and banged at the ground; causing the curly haired woman to accidentally kick her uneaten McFlurry off the coffee table in her fright.
"ENOUGH!" Loki Bellowed in unadulterated fury. "You are all of you beneath me! I am a god you dull creature, and I will not be bullied by-ah!"
Well, Loki, was so not having a good time yet again - unless this was a strange part of his plans. The great hulking green thing from gods knew where had not taken kindly to all the demi-gods shouting at him and plucked him up like a fish from the stream and began beating him against the ground till he stopped trying to wriggle. Stupid and cowardly though she might be, Kari was a survivor and those kinds of people do not sit around on other people's sofas mourning over spilled McFlurry. Despite not having her shoes any longer, that had not stopped her from hopping over the coffee table – still somehow gripping the last bite of her McChicken sandwich – and legging it across a glass covered floor out onto a dead end balcony.
"Oh shit, oh fuck." She half tittered towards the edge, staring down for a lifeline of seconds at the very long drop before her attention returned to the still furious looking new green monster stalking towards her. "Fuck it."
As if a final farewell, she turned her head towards the remainders of sandwich in her hand, took the bite and jumped.