Chapter 6

The wall is a hill on the other side, but while it means we don't meet an immediate, back-breaking death, the tumble is still unpleasant. It is hard stone and dirt, and I can feel each protrusion we cross leaving marks on my clothes and soft body. Subconsciously, I hold onto Carlotta to protect her smaller body from harm, but I'm not sure what good it does in the end. We finally near the end of the slope, and this time there is no doubt that the hill ends in a cliff. I dig my heels into the ground, my bare feet getting torn and scratched by abrasive rocks and dirt.

We almost veer over the edge, but I manage to grab hold of a root or a tree, and though it jars my shoulder, we stop just before we fall into nothingness.

I huff and puff, the adrenaline of the fall making me dizzy. I think I'm hungry, or tired, or both, because it takes far too long for the dizziness to fade than it should. I want to ask Carlotta if she's okay, but my throat refuses to comply. So I sit there, feet just over the edge of a fault, Carlotta pressed between me and one arm, the other clutching that sapling with a mild tremor.

"Why would you do a thing like that?" Carlotta shrieks after a moment, pushing herself out of my grip. I nearly forget she has wings, but as she hovers just above me, I realize that, she, at least, is safe. I sigh, heaving a little.

"I- I'm sorry. I missed you, an-and then you saved me and- and I missed you." I sputter, suddenly emotional. I sit up, edging away from the fault.

"Missed me? Missed me?! For what reason on Phantom's grey and miserable earth could you have missed me?" She continues to shriek. She's genuinely upset, almost angry about this. I don't understand. I don't know how to respond.

"You're my friend.." I say, and it feels both definitive and powerful and pathetic and childish. She huffs, grimacing.

"I am not! I am obliged to help you, nothing more! Now, get up!" She protests, pulling me by the back of my shirt to my feet. With her support, I don't even stumble. "Walk, walk this way." She guides, pushing me along the edge. She seems colder than before, silently determined in some way.

"Where are we?" I numbly ask as she pushes me against the rising slope of the hill, acting as a counterbalance.

"This is the Infinite Pit. Falling in means no escape. It is literally falling forever and ever.. No one likes it here." Again, she's cold and short, trying to be un-emotive but only managing irritation, but it's so.. unlike her. She's like a spark, like fire, nothing about her is anything but passionate and full. Except, well, now.

"Well, I can see why if it means falling forever."

"Shush, keep walking." She prods, and I fall silent. She's obviously getting tired, though, for by the time we reach a flatter landscape, the fault never far, though, her flying is a cycle of sinking for several moments then struggling to rise back to my shoulder height. It would seem that her wings are not built for continuous flying, and yet, because of me, that's all she's been doing today. When we reach a higher platform with space for both of us, the rocks becoming a small tower over the Pit, I pull her out of the air and sit her down, silently commanding her to rest. I take the moment to get my aching feet out of the dirt and stones as well. Everything aches.

"Ai, your feet!" Carlotta exclaims as I sit down. Her face is a twist of disgust and sympathy. I inspect them myself. They're not good; they're a bit bloodied and already bruises are forming. My hands aren't much better. I'm sure I look horrible.

"I'm fine. We've still got a way to go, and if this is the worst, then I can make it." I try to smile, but I feel so achingly tired. I think… I think it's been seven hours. And, given the three that Erik took away, I only have another three to reach the castle. Behind us, it's much closer, but still so far. Now it takes up a fourth of the sky when you face it, it's size becoming more and more clear. It's enormous.. But I have so little time left, and it looks like the landscape goes around it, the Infinite Pit tracing the city's outline with a nearly vertical rise on the inside edge, making getting back into the labyrinth proper a hard venture. If Carlotta were bigger, she might be able to fly us both back in, but she's too tired as it is to fly even herself in.

"I'm glad you came back." I say, thoughtlessly. The moment was too quiet, and too anxious. Carlotta looks at me strangely, like she's already decided that what I'm about to say isn't worth her time, and yet she's eager to hear it anyway. "You.. You don't have to pretend to be so.. hard. You came back to help me- for whatever reason. I choose to interpret it as you being my friend."

"I came back because I had to." She says, but offers nothing else for a moment. "I have to give- I have to give you-" She seems to break, not wanting to say whatever it is. Is this the source of her discomfort? Whatever it is, I want to undo it- go back even to almost hurtful banter if I have to.

"Give me what?" At that moment, a trapdoor opens up underneath us, and we are plunged into a tunnel that winds and turns impossibly. I am sure that at some points we were falling up or sideways or even in reverse, and nothing made sense.

But thankfully it eventually spits us out, a long and bumpy time later, dumping us somewhere closer to the castle, and on top of something enormous and fluffy. All three of us groan from the impact, and it is that familiar whine that can only be Raoul coming from the fluffy thing, and with a gasp of joy I flop myself over and off of him, to give him a hug. He's much more receptive to this hug than Carlotta was, in fact he lifts me up and spins me around, his lanky arms covering me entirely.

"Raoul!" I say in delight.

"Christine!" He purrs, literally. "I lost you!"

"No, I'm afraid I lost you! I should have taken your concerns more seriously, I'm so sorry." I apologize, but Raoul only shakes his head. A cough from behind me reminds me that Carlotta is here. Raoul lets me go, dropping to his hands, immediately on the defensive. Carlotta has a full 'sass' pose out, hands on her hips with a scowl on her face, obviously curious and maybe even jealous of Raoul. She certainly doesn't feel threatened by him, though, even as he hunches down in preparation for an attack. I understand he may be distrustful, considering the way I found him, so I put a hand on his shoulder. He calms considerably.

"Carlotta, this is Raoul! He was making that horrible noise when.. when you left earlier. Raoul, this is Carlotta, she's my other friend, she helped me after I lost you!" I introduce them. Raoul sniffs at Carlotta with interest, but more or less shrugs at her existence. He is pacified, I suppose.

"Raoul." He says, putting out a hand. She scoffs, nudging his hand away. He whines but lets his hand drop anyway.

"We had better carry on." She says, striding off. I shrug to Raoul and follow her. I would follow her anywhere; I feel now as though she is trustworthy beyond words. The way she's kept coming back for me, despite her fears or insecurities, has made me feel as though she is definitely on my side. I trust her.

She is upset, though. I hear her muttering ahead of us, but only the word 'friend' is clear to me. I decide not to ask. Sometimes it's best to let someone vent instead of try to control their emotions by interfering.

The path is clearer here, almost marked out with smoother rock outlines, and we follow it over the Pit and stony hills and through small valleys. The landscape is tumultuous, grey and misty and ill defined. It's like a less artistic rendering of the Grand Canyon in smaller scale, and much dimmer, and somehow, I'm sure, much dustier.

All the time, the castle is getting closer and closer. I can see the difference in light there, and it aches how close we are. I want to be done with this adventure, my friends and I safe and able to rest and confident that there are no more threats or riddles or having to be clever…

My internal musings are interrupted when Carlotta points out a bridge. It's rickety, made of wood and rope bindings, whereas previous ones were natural rock-forms that continued the path. This difference must mean something, but the only way to know is to approach, so I do, Carlotta and Raoul to either side. I feel brave with them. Why is it easier to be brave with or for other people, rather than myself?

As we draw near, nothing happens. I look around curiously, but nothing and no one presents itself. Carlotta is just as mistrusting of this place, though it would appear that she's not actually familiar with this part. I place my hand on a post, ready to test it, but something comes out of nowhere and whacks my hand away.

"Ow!" I can't help but blurt, my hand already hurting from earlier adventures. I certainly don't need any more injuries, but the redness and stinging across the back of my hand are proof that the labyrinth doesn't think so. Raoul bristles visibly, and Carlotta puffs up as well. I look away from my stinging hand and find a dog man standing on the bridge where he hadn't been before. "Who-?"
"No one may pass over this bridge without my permission." He growls, his one eye harsh and dark. He's got long, stringy-furred ears, making his threatening stance seem a little more comical. Nevertheless, he's standing firm, teeth ever so slightly bared at us.

"I- I'm sorry, we need to pass, I didn't mean to-" He barks, cutting me off.

"None may pass without my permission." He reiterates, each word emphasized. I bite my lip. To my right, Carlotta growls.

"Permit this!" She says as she darts forward, squirrel-like. The man dog- dog man?- pokes and swings his wooden sword at her, but she neatly dodges everything, until at last she passes him, flying the rest of the way to the other side and safety. He doesn't stop though, he strides forward angrily, intent to bring her back, but Raoul pounds his fists on the ground and charges.

I try to call to wait, that surely there's a better way, but before I can make myself heard, they're engaging in a clumsy, strange swordplay, wherein Raoul is, himself, a sword. He swings his heavy arms as swiftly and almost as deftly as the man can do with his sword.

The man, barely my height, is surprisingly strong if the thwack of his wooden sword against Raoul is anything to go by, and even more surprisingly agile given that one eye is presumably missing under the eye patch he wears. I am still more anxious about the bridge, which creaks under Raoul's impressive weight, and shakes with each step he and the guard dog take.

I fail to notice how Raoul has advanced until he's very nearly over the bridge. I see Carlotta calling to me from the other side, but I can't hear her over their scuffle. I'm too anxious about the weight the bridge is supporting to try to cross, and it's not like there's a lot of room with Raoul and the man both at the end, engaged in a fight that takes up the entire width. Then, just as suddenly as Raoul seemed to have taken the bridge, the man has taken it back, and Raoul is stumbling backwards onto the dusty ground beside me.

Both huff, breaths heavy, the man pointing his sword, with it's heavy ball on the end, at Raoul, who lies tired on the ground. Then, he's laughing. I help Raoul to his feet as the man explains.

"You are the most of a match I have met in a few decades, good sir! I shall grace you with my name and my brotherhood for this most engaging brawl worthy of us both, I think." He tucks his sword into a clasp at his side, and then bows deeply. "I am Nadir Khan, The Saluki Daroga of the Bridge, though you may call me Nadir. What is the name of my brother in arms and skill, and his lovely companions?" Confused, Raoul tips his head, looking between Nadir and me for a moment. But Nadir's smile is unwavering, so Raoul dips his head.

"Raoul." He says with a hand gesturing towards his heart. Then he dips his head to me, "Miss Christine." With a jerk of his head towards the other side, he laughs, "Carlotta."

"Then I dub you 'Sir Raoul'. Well met, young one." Nadir nods to him, another small bow of strangely earned respect. "Pleasure to meet you, Miss Christine." He says softly, taking my hand like I'm some lady at court.
"Ah, just 'Christine' is fine, thank you."

"And you may call me nothing!" Carlotta yells from the other side. Nadir growls at her.

"Wait, sir!" He turns back to me quickly, attentive and genuinely invested in whatever I'm about to say, which surprises me. He's… strangely friendly. Noble, in a way. "Can we pass now? I'm sorry, but we're in an awful hurry to.. to get to the castle and… uh.." I struggle for a moment. What are we doing, again? We're going to the castle, but why? Something important, I know that much.

"Your memories!" Carlotta supplies. With a snap, I remember. The memories of my father and his violin, of course! How can I keep forgetting? Shame at having wished these things away in the first place washes over me, enhanced by the knowledge that I've forgotten again.

"Yes, important memories that I accidentally gave to Erik, er, the Phantom. And my dad's violin. It's very important." I explain. He nods, but it's sad.

"I understand, but I cannot let you pass." He seems truly regretful.

"Well, why? Maybe we can be clever about this."

"Long ago, I was in the Phantom's court. We were almost friends but we had a.. a falling out, and he cursed me to guard this bridge until the end of time. The one rule is that 'No one may pass without my permission'." He explains. I think about that for a moment.

"Those are the words? Exactly?" I ask. He nods, gravely solemn. "Then just give us your permission." I shrug. His eye shoots open, his shoulders stiffen, his nose quivers and for a moment I think he's going to shatter like porcelain, but he starts to laugh, a full and hearty sound, until it turns to almost crying.

"A fool! I am a blasted fool!" He clasps a hand over his face. "Oh, such a simple answer- was I really so dense that I could not figure this out myself? Oh, child, I give you permission to pass." He says, still torn about his failure to solve the problem, standing aside.

"Sometimes I find that being too close to a problem makes it hard to see the solution." I try to console him. He nods, laughing falsely at himself.

"I never even thought to permit people across. Phantom implied that I shouldn't, but he never said I couldn't. Augh, what a fool I am. From now on, all are permitted to pass this bridge with my full consent." He waves his hand dismissively over the bridge, as if bidding it farewell. "And now, with your permission, I will accompany you on your quest. I have business with our mutual nemesis."

"Oh- okay. What do you plan to do?" I ask. For some reason the way he says that makes me fear for Erik. What reason do I have to fear for him, though? He who is by far the most powerful creature here?

"Mostly I plan to beat him upside the head with a stick, but it sounds like he needs a stern talking to more than anything." Nadir says with authority, his whiskers vibrating with the clarity of his enunciating.

"Well, don't hurt him too badly." I ask. He seems confused about this but concedes with a nod.

"Let us continue, then." When I look nervously at the bridge he assures me, "This bridge has stood for a thousand years, my lady, and you just witnessed our duel on it- you will cross safely." He holds out a hand towards the bridge with a flourish, like someone holding the door open for me. I see Carlotta standing encouragingly on the other side, and I feel better with both their support. The anxiety about the bridge melts away, and I nod to myself.

"Well, okay." I start to cross, the bridge not so much as wiggling underneath. I am nearly halfway across when a terrible screeching tears through the air, the sound almost metaphysically assaulting my head. The bridge shakes, rumbles as if it's tearing itself apart, and while I am still reeling from the sound and the terrible pain it brings me, the just sturdy bridge crumbles out from under me.

The Infinite Pit seems to swallow and numb sound itself, for as I fall even the terrible scream of the violin blurs into a deafened half-version of itself. A deeper, animalistic sound comes in over it, but it's so muffled I can't guess what it is. Something grabs hold of me, but even that sensation feels distant, indistinct. I hang by the wrist, feeling blind and deaf, all my experiences nearly mute. I feel next to nothing for a while, mind dumb and blind to everything. Slowly, feeling returns, and I realize that I'm rising.

Unevenly, it starts to occur to me, because someone is carrying me. I can feel each step as it causes me to sway, belaying the struggle this person has in bearing me. When did I go from dangling by the wrist to being carried like a child? Who, even, is carrying me? I struggle to focus my vision on the face. It's.. It's Nadir! He's talking but his voice is still so muffled. As we eclipse the edge of the Pit, everything becomes clear.

"-sorry, I am so, so sorry, my lady." He says, and I get the feeling that's all he's said this whole time. "I am certain that the bridge would have held had it not been for Erik's interference, for that was surely him! He has never been so powerful before.." He rumbles. A stinging in my wrist becomes apparent as he sets me down. Claw marks?

"What.. what happened?" I ask, feeling dumb.

"You were nearly halfway crossed when Erik cast some spell that made it collapse. Carlotta dove in after you, hence the injuries to your wrist, and held you long enough for Raoul to display a splendid power to control rock, forming the stairs which I sprinted down to retrieve you. It was all very quick.." He sighs. Nadir seems old, but also not at all. He takes a sash from his side and wraps it gently around my cuts. It's a dark, patterned red with gold accents, and I hope it doesn't stain.

"Where is Carlotta?"

"Still clinging to you, miss." He points to my shoulder, where, indeed, a petrified Carlotta is clinging. I hadn't even noticed her weight.

"Golly goodness.." I breathe. What more can happen in a day? "Are you okay?"

"I- Fine!" She snaps, suddenly unclenching herself from me. She shakes herself out, trying to seem nonchalant. I turn to Nadir and Raoul.

"And you two? Are you okay? I'm so sorry for the inconvenience.."

"No inconvenience at all! We're fine." Nadir pats Raoul, who nods eagerly, proud of himself. "Erik is growing far too bold with his power; he misuses it. Let's go before he performs another cruel trick." They pull me to my feet, and I brush the dirt off my legs as Raoul roars a bridge into existence.

"Wow, that.. that is amazing." I'm stunned. I look at all three of my companions. I smile widely, very glad to have met them all. "Let's go, then." I lead them across the bridge, no fear.

The path continues into the labyrinth, a grand stone gate without doors signaling the edge. The area immediately inside is more forest, but it's thin, and above the trees we can see the wall that closes off the city from the rest of the labyrinth.

"We're so close!" I exclaim. We're even closer than I'd hoped!

"Yes, a half hour's steady pace and we'll be at the gates!" Nadir says, tail wagging softly. "Come along, there's no time to lose!" He sounds enthusiastic, and I find myself much the same. It's almost over..

I almost immediately begin to lag, however. I'm tired and can't seem to keep up the pace. Nadir and Raoul decide to 'scout ahead' but I know they know I'm tired and are just giving me an opportunity to rest, or at least slow a bit. Carlotta was with me a moment ago, but she must be even more tired than I am, having saved me from the pit earlier. I'm so much bigger than her; to even slow my fall, let alone bear the entirety of my weight for even a moment! It's an extraordinary feat, I think. She must be exhausted.

I let my mind wander for a bit, following quietly behind the guys. Nadir is eagerly explaining something to Raoul, who is just as eagerly listening. Like a master and apprentice, they seem to relate to each other. What am I, then? Surely I'm not just a princess who needs rescuing by the real heroes, am I? I'm the only human here, and classically that makes me the damsel in distress, but that's not all I am, right? As I begin to doubt myself, I hardly notice a softly played violin almost humming in my ear.

I get a little swept up in it, feeling quite calm and relaxed in it. I hum along mindlessly, letting feeling overtake thought.

"Christine?" I blink at the sound of my name. I turn, it's Carlotta.

"Yes?" I sound dreamy, half asleep.

"I found.. this." She holds up an apple, giant in her hands. It's nearly half the size of her head. "You should… should have it."

"Thank you." She's so thoughtful. "But what about you? I didn't thank you for the amazing thing you did earlier, I don't think I've thanked you properly all day.." It's hard to talk with the music in my ear, but I insist to myself that those words need to be spoken.

"No need to worry. I, ah, had one already." She holds it out, shaking a little.

"You should go and have some more, you're shaking. But thank you for taking care of me all day." I smile as I take the apple from her. It's red and orange and yellow, dappled cutely. I take a bite, and perfectly timed with a crescendo in the music the sweetness hits me. It literally melts into my mouth, the sweetness unnatural and flooding. I tremble as it invades the rest of me, numbing me not unlike the Infinite Pit did. I do not want to, but part of me welcomes the numbness, the ease of not having to think.

I feel heavy, like my body is made of marble. I look at my hands and they feel alien, like they're not mine, like none of this experience is mine. I look up at Carlotta as she backs away, swaying as I try to discern the meaning of this.

"Carlotta?" I mumble. "What have you done?" I feel… something. It hurts, a knife in my heart. She backs away, shaking her head gently.

"Damn Erik… and damn me too." She says to herself. What does that mean? I don't understand. She turns and runs back the way we came, back into the depths of the labyrinth.

Betrayal. I feel betrayal.

In a moment, it feels like it has been years since she's left, a haze descending on my perception of time. I turn around, the world around me slow to respond to my will, revealing itself only so little at a time, unwilling to be clear. As soon as each new part is known to me, I have forgotten what was behind me, and so the whole remains unclear and incomplete. I feel lost within a second, a single tick of a distant clock spreading out into infinity such that I can't have ever heard the preceding sound and I will never know the following.

The heaviness of my body consumes me, and I feel myself fall to my knees in painfully slow awareness of every inch of myself. I eventually collapse against a tree, dropped there like a mannequin or a doll. A moment passes like the decay of centuries, and I have become so weak I cannot so much as move my eyes anymore. My vision blurs as crystal balls and bubbles and glitter and darkness rise into view, overtaking everything.

Soon, I cannot even feel my body; I only feel some semblance of my thoughts vibrating through a dark void that sings me to sleep. Be numb, it says. Be numb and safe and happy.

I don't want to- there's something I'm trying to do. Or there was. I think? It's so hard to recall. There was something before this forever, before the singing and the darkness and the bubbles. I'm sure there was… aren't I? Aren't I sure? The singing is so sweet and understanding; do I want there to have ever been anything but it? It is peace and wholeness, why would I ever require something else?

Yes, I must be mistaken. I have always existed here in this moment, with the voice and the violin and the darkness. They know me, they love me, they provide everything I could ever want, and everything I will ever need. There has never been anything else but me being here. There is nothing before or after. There is only this, and this will always be as it has always been.

I am sweetly numb, void of thought. I am pure feeling, I am a sound in a symphony that accompanies that voice. It calls to me alone, but why? Why me, out of all the beautiful sounds out there, when I am more like a tinkling bell than a voice of my own and hardly deserving of that pure expression's attention? Still, though I cannot comprehend its interest in me, I must admit that we are beautiful together. Even if I am nothing more than that tinkling bell, the contrast of my light, ringing sounds against his dark, deep, and drowning tones are ecstasy. Together we are an entire spectrum of sound and emotion, and only together are we whole.

I submit to the darkness. I fall into a sleepless dreaming so that I can only continue to be part of that marvelous sound, that divine emotion. I submit so that I can be whole and myself, sure of my own identity against his. It's only with his contrast that I know myself. It's only here that I am myself, and complete.

I know who I am here. I am everything and nothing, and there is nothing sweeter than to be exactly that, exactly here, exactly forever.