Chapter 8
I sit on the edge of the city wall. I've been in such a state since I did it, since I gave Christine the apple. I could not bear to watch the consequences, so I ran away. Such a coward am I! My heart aches at what I've done- it twists in my chest in such an awful way that I feel short of breath and close to fainting. And yet I remain wide awake, suffering under the burden of my wicked betrayal. And suffer I do, willingly, for I know I deserve all the guilt and anguish for what I've done.
The worst is knowing that, since I chose to ran, I do not know exactly what I've done to her. Phantom could have lied to me, everyone knows he is a liar, he could have had every intention of hurting her, poisoning her, killing her, and now he may have done it, and with my help! Oh what a weak and spineless fool I am!
I am hardly in control of myself since then, I sometimes fall into thoughtlessness, guilt overtaking me and making me blankminded, and when I come out I am rocking on the wall and there are tears on my face. What have I done, what have I done? I don't know exactly, and that is the worst.
But the look on her face, when she knew something was wrong! How the light in her eyes clouded and died when she realized! Such sorrow, so much confusion! She trusted me, could hardly believe that I had done something to betray that trust, but I did and she knew it! I am the worst creature on this miserable earth, I know it, for I have done the worst thing anyone could ever do. I betrayed someone, the only one, who had ever put their faith in me! No, worse than that!
"What have I done?" I whine, openly crying this time. I have no honor, no dignity, so what should I care if I am seen or heard crying? "What have I done?" I keen. I can only wonder at the agony she may be in; when I hurt this much from having done it, how much is she in for receiving it? Is she even alive? What would be worse, death or torture? It drives me mad, these questions, the not knowing. I bury my face in my hands, sobbing relentlessly.
"I have lost the only friend I've ever had… That's what I've done.." I moan in answer of my own question. "Christine.." Her name is like an admission, a confession, and I confess, over and over and over…
If only I could do something to make it right, I would. If only, if only..
~{(Christine)}~
I trudge dutifully through the junkyard, determined, almost too eager and happy to be doing so. I finally feel dedicated and confident, where before I was one or the other, never both at the same time, and the combination is a little giddying. I trip, a lot, but it only adds to the emotion. I can take any tumble, collapse any structure, do anything! I am invincible, so long as I persevere!
I finally reach the edge of the junkyard, a great hill of trash sloping down to a dually gated section of the wall. I slide, less than gracefully, down the hill, managing to keep upright until just the end, where something unwilling to give way catches me, and sends me rolling. I'll have a new motley of bruises, but no matter! My hands and feet are still scuffed from before, but I can overcome them! I feel like I can do anything! As I rise, laughing from the fall, I hear two voices call me from my left. A bark and a howl, specifically, make me lift my head their way, and I am most delighted to see Nadir and Raoul both running my way.
I nearly start crying with joy, so I take off running towards them instead. Nadir, slighter than Raoul, reaches me first, pulling me into a deep hug, which I eagerly embrace. Raoul, when he reaches us, picks us both up with the truest bear hug I've ever felt, twirling us around. I laugh, so happy to see them again.
"My lady, my lady, are you alright? We lost track of you and I could not detect you anywhere we searched and now you're here, quite a distance away!" Nadir asks, patting me all over, inspecting me. I laugh at his earnest concern, mirrored by Raoul who sniffs me all over, whining lightly. I hush them both.
"I'm fine, I'm fine! I- I got a little lost, you could say, but I know my way a lot better now." I nod. Raoul purrs, relieved.
"What happened?" He asks.
"I.. Erik tricked me into.. something. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but I got my memories back."
"You did? You bested Phantom?" Nadir is stunned.
"Kind of. I think I scared him, and that made it easier to get back my memories, and I did that entirely on accident anyway."
"Is your quest complete, then?"
"No. He still has my violin, and it's now a matter of pride that I get it back. You've both done so much for me, and I couldn't ask any more of you, but I've got to continue, and quickly." I pat them both on their shoulders, but Nadir and Raoul both stop me, each holding onto a wrist, pulling me back. I look, confused, between the two of them. "I've got to keep going-"
"We'll go with you." Raoul nods affirmatively.
"It'll be dangerous, I can't-" I try to argue, for their sake. I really have asked too much of people who owe me nothing, who's kindness has been the only reason I've gotten to this point. I've got to repay them by keeping them safe, by letting them go, and I've got to stand on my own. But Nadir silences me.
"No more dangerous than it ever is, here in the labyrinth. And if you, valiant lady, are willing to partake the dangers inside, why shouldn't we? And I still have words to trade with our Phantom." Nadir interrupts. "We're coming with you." Finally I start to cry. Soft, little happy tears crawl out, and I bring them in for another hug. It's strange how both of them have tails to wag and how eager they are to wag them, but I love them. I hold them tight, and despite the short time I've known them, I know I will treasure them forever. I pull back from the hug, tears already dry, and smile at them.
"Then let's go." I take them each by the hand and head for the first gate, which opens before us like the maw of a cave. This is where the truer tests lie, for I do think that Erik never expected me or anyone to get this far, and so what challenges lie ahead will be a knee-jerk reaction of upped difficulty and preposterousness. But I can do this, we can do this!
As we enter, the sounds of the city become nonexistent. While they were a dull, unclear set of noise, they were like the birds in a forest- a sign of life and safety. With them gone, a sense of dread begins to permeate. Nadir draws his wooden sword, and then with a flick of a well-hidden switch, removes the wood, revealing a real sword inside. He doesn't explain the purpose of this sheath turned shell, but there's no point and no time.
The doors draw quickly behind us, slamming shut with a deep metallic thud. I jump a little at the sound, but I hold no regrets and I am not afraid. Not yet. The gate ahead of us is still open and I slowly approach it, wondering why they mean to cage us in one way and not the other. About twenty steps away, it slams shut, but these door, when sealed, become a giant mobile suit. It bears an axe that is easily three times Raoul's impressive height, and likely several tons. It pivots on its hips, swinging the axe around.
Nadir tackles me to the ground as it swings the axe low, just where our heads were. Quickly, it changes the nature of the swing, and it comes bearing down at us. We roll out of the way, separating. Raoul charges at the behemoth, and it jostles, losing the neat curve of momentum in its swing, but it stomps, shaking him off. I'm not sure what to do- I have no weapon or powers of my own, but I can't just dodge it while the others do something useful!
As I retreat from a set of stomps and swings, a field of pole arms pop up behind me, and I very nearly impale myself on them. I twist, ducking below their angled ends and only barely managing to avoid their points, the axe scraping the tops of some of the longer ones above me. All in all, it was a very close call. I notice, while I'm down there, they're very poorly attached to their bases, and so I grab one and yank, the end popping out after a few tugs. Then I pull out another and another.
The behemoth is trying to hit Nadir and Raoul, and only barely failing. It's fast for something so large, and they are only barely faster. Still, that's well enough for my plan, and I approach carefully but quickly. I stab the heaviest spear into the back of it's knee, piercing some kind of tubing that hisses and getting lodged in the pivot that operates the joint. It tries to step and manages only to drag its foot. It's 'head' looks over it's shoulder, supposedly spying me and the spear. It presses that foot into the ground, rooting itself. Then it turns at the hip, the torso coming around to face me. I take the other two spears and dodge to the left as it swings the axe down.
'Chopping wood', I hear some gym teacher reprimand me during baseball when I swung the wrong way. I laugh at the memory, it's so out of place, and wildly incomparable to the situation at hand.
As the behemoth starts to pull the axe from the ground, the scraping causing sparks, I stab another spear in the joint of its elbow, and it creaks, its progress slowed, but not stopped. I thrust the last spear into another part of its joint, something hissing as I stab it. I feel it lodge, the spear firmly affixed, the gears grinding against the foreign metal. With both spears stuck, the arm is rendered stiff, and it starts to shake from effort. It seems to scream angrily, the machinery inside struggling.
It starts to turn at its hip again, the hand of the frozen arm turning the axe so that it's like the blade of a blender, edge out and perfect for dicing. It starts to spin faster and faster, but it can't walk, its leg is still stiff. Nadir and Raoul join me on this side of it, stepping out of it's range, but as we do, unsure what to do next, the spears behind us start popping out in rows, growing out, forcing us back into the path of the axe. I start to pull at the spears like before, but these must be different, because they stay firmly in place. I'm getting ready to do something dumb and desperate like leaping onto the arm when a small, ginger blur comes dashing down the inner wall, launching itself at the head of the behemoth, even as it spins.
It slows as the shape tears at the head, pulling off panels and ripping out wires. As it slows to a halt, the still mobile arm reaching up to grab at its assailant, we can see it's Carlotta. Carlotta! She looks like a little ginger Valkyrie, furious and vengeful, tearing the machine apart with surprising ease. Eventually, she reaches in and pulls out a tiny gremlin, throwing him to the feet of the behemoth, and he scampers off, screaming. The arm, however, keeps twitchingly grabbing at its head, and the rest of it starts to shudder terribly. I hear ticking and whirring and grinding, all growing ever louder.
"Carlotta, get out!" I shout, and she immediately pulls back, as sparks begin to grow out from under the metal skin of the machine. She leaps away as it explodes, the machine falling forward. Nadir, Raoul, and I dash out of its way, and it crashes with a second, smaller explosion onto the spears that previously threatened us. We rest against the wall as it burns, a little surprised. Raoul rumbles with what I think is a chuckle. I join him in laughter, and Nadir sighs with content relief. Carlotta lands a little harshly in front of us, stumbling.
I dash over to her side, worried, despite everything. She sees me coming and tries to back away but falls. She's exhausted and shaken from the explosions, I can see.
"Let me explain!" She says sharply before I can reach to help her up. "I'm no looking for anything to be forgiven, I am no interested in being 'friends', I-" She huffs. "Phantom made me give you the apple but I did not want to but I am a coward and I did anyway! I don't care what you think- I could see no other way, and, and I am ashamed for having done it!" She squeaks. She's very torn up about this, I can see it in the redness of her eyes, the way her cheeks are clean and shiny in the firelight, how her brows clench despite saying she doesn't care, the gentle shake of her whole body. I gently put a hand on her shoulder.
"Carlotta." She looks at me, eyes wide, pointed ears down. "I forgive you." I offer a small smile.
"You do?" She's stunned. I nod.
"You came back. I think a real coward would never face up to what they've done.. they wouldn't admit they were wrong or apologize for it.. You came back."
"I am a little impressed, myself." Nadir adds. "It is a hard thing to defy Phantom. You've overcome a lot to make this decision." He points his sword at the fallen behemoth, its armor melting from the heat of the fire.
"I.. I suppose. But I did betray you all, do you not care?" She asks, shrinking again.
"I admit that I was hurt, but we wouldn't be friends if I didn't give you a second chance, especially after admitting all that. We're still friends, if you want to be, Carlotta." I stand, brushing off my jeans. Then I offer her my hand, hoping she'll take it. Nadir and Raoul stand beside me, and Carlotta looks up at the three of us, mystified. For the first time, I see her smile, a crookedly cute smile, and she takes my hand, letting me pull her to her taloned feet.
"Yes, I would."
"Good." I smile back, and any doubts I may have had about her loyalty or determination melt away. I pull her up to my side, and she hooks onto my waist with a familiar ease. Despite only having known her today, it isn't uncomfortable to have her close, to have her literally holding onto me. "Let's go wreck this city!" Nadir barks and Raoul gives a short howl, and together we push open the second gate.
The city erupts in sound and movement as we enter, goblins and fae of all kinds scurrying around, militarizing. The ground rumbles, Erik's anger shaking the very earth. I hear him roar in furious anguish, the sound almost ghostly. It's like it's here, but not at the same time. Impossible, just like him.
As a horde of creatures sweeps towards us, Nadir charges, sword forward. He is a sight to behold, dashing in and around enemies, disarming them expertly without injuring or receiving a single injury himself. Raoul roars, calling pebbles and stones to roll our foes off their feet and out of the way.
Nadir clears the way, and Raoul escorts us, Carlotta and I dealing with anyone who manages to get close. We have several scuffles, but once we manage to steal a spear of our own, it's a lot easier. Despite not being trained or educated for combat, it's a lot of fun! It's like dancing, or singing. It takes your whole body, your whole heart and head, everything you are at every moment. It's beautiful, in a strange and terrible way. It doesn't help that our enemies are sometimes comically under-prepared, and react in such extreme ridiculous ways when they're defeated. They make it seem like a joke, and it's all the easier to enjoy the brawl, despite what's at stake.
Eventually, bigger fae come after us, and we end up cornered in a building. All the buildings are like towers, siege towers quickly built. Raoul barely fits inside, but he blocks the door well. Carlotta and I defend from the roof, knocking back those who try to climb in from the open ceiling or through windows. I worry briefly if I'm perhaps hurting them, but I remember that their aim is to probably do worse than 'hurt' me, and they aim to do it to all of us. Besides which, they seem sturdy in body but weak in mind, for even striking most of them once is enough to send them away. A few take a little more persuading, but an assault of heavy thwacks will send them off without a doubt.
Nadir is lost in a sea of crossing blades, and he is a fury to be dealt with. He is a blur of black fur and silver cloak, sword blazing in the light of the city. As Carlotta and I deal what we can from the roof, Raoul seems to get upset dealing with the flood of enemies trying to come in the door, and calls a new wave of stones, much larger this time, to scare away the horde. It's very successful at its intended purpose, but it shakes and begins to collapse the already weakened building.
Carlotta and I manage to hop to another building, and I realize we can do this to avoid other forces and travel to the castle at the center of the city.
"Raoul!" I call down, leaning over the edge as he peeks out of the building rubble on the ground below. It was a light stone, and I think he ought to be okay, but I am a little worried. "Are you alright?"
"Fine!" He yells back, with a slightly goofy smile. He shakes his head wildly, dust flying everywhere.
"Good! We can climb the buildings to the castle, Raoul! Can you get Nadir and bring him here?" I point with my stolen spear toward the castle. He nods, and pulls himself the rest of the way out of the fallen building. He shakes himself free of the dirt and dust, and takes off running on all fours. I turn to Carlotta, beside me. "Come on, Carlotta, let's keep going before more show up." She nods, resting on my waist and shoulders again.
I jump from building to building, the reassembling forces on the ground struggling to track us, as we move above the thin, crowded streets with much more ease than they can. I look back every once in a while, and I see Raoul, carrying a protesting Nadir up a building, following our lead. Nadir looks like he wants to join the rough and tumble on the ground again, the fight more interesting than the cause at the moment. I laugh gently at this, but I'm cut short as an explosion tears the building out from under me.
I scream as we tumble on the collapsing building, right into a mob of angry goblins with scimitars and hand bombs. We hop to our feet as soon as we can, but we're surrounded. Carlotta growls. I get an idea when I see the small, four headed cannon that's standing in front of us.
"You'll never hit us!" I taunt, to which the crowd gasps, and what looks like the captain throws one of his bombs. I bat the bomb with my spear, and either I am better at aiming than I thought or I am very lucky, for it shoots down the front most barrel of the loaded cannon and explodes, forcing the others to shoot out their balls into the array. The forces scramble in a panic, parting before us. I hear Raoul and Nadir coming behind us, so I decide to hold off for a moment. When they come into view, they are running, Nadir with his sword held high, yelling like a conquer, Raoul thundering behind like a ferocious bear, coming to defend what's his. As I spot them, I wave them forward, and start charging, Carlotta returned once more to my shoulder. As I lead them up the stairs, I see Erik in the tallest tower watching us. His expression is impossible to gauge, but if I had to guess, I'd say he was afraid. I make sure to do my best at keeping his eyes as I run, as if to tell him 'I'm coming for you'.
He ducks inside, his cape billowing out the window of the tower before he disappears entirely.
We meet a little more resistance inside the castle proper, as we are immediately ambushed in the grand foyer, fae folk wearing masks, more humanly proportioned, literally dropping in on us from the landings above the ground floor. Still, we fight our way through the main hall into the lobby, no less than three grand chandeliers hanging delicately in the air, held by no rope or chain. The room is clear of foes, so we keep going, fighting off those who pursue.
But as we pass under each chandelier, their beautiful lights flicker and fail, and then they fall. Each one is a little closer, but we outrun them all, and make it up the stairs with no more incidents or clashing of weapons, for no one follows us. We turn as we make it to the top, and I'm not the only one a little surprised that the fae have paused in the doorways, unwilling to chase us any further.
There are three ways to proceed from here, left, forward, and right. I have no idea, and there's no time to waste..
"Nadir, do you know the way through here?" I ask, a little breathless.
"Yes. He's likely in his courtroom, or his chambers, but they're the same way.." He pants, tongue lolling slightly between breaths and words.
"Then lead the way." Carlotta encourages him. Her cheeks glow with a rosy hue, the efforts of the day plain on her face. Still, she seems eager to continue. Nadir nods, then points the right passageway.
"This way- even the castle is a labyrinth in its own right, so be wary." He leads the way, and I follow, Raoul bringing up the rear. Despite our high alert, nothing happens as he leads us through the twists and the turns of the castle, and it seems impossibly larger on the inside than it ever looks like on the outside, as the corridors become stairs or hallways or guestrooms. The path to his court is impossibly winding, I find myself thinking.
"Was it always this hard to get to the most important rooms?" I wonder out loud.
"No. I'm.. navigating on instinct, on what I know about Phantom, but he has added many more variables since I was last here. I wonder if he holds court anymore at all, my lady." He admits.
"He has not held 'court' in any recent memory. He rules alone, from the dark and with silence. When he speaks, it is never good.." Carlotta informs us both. "Was he ever a fair ruler?" She asks. Nadir stiffens ahead of us but nods.
"I'm not sure what changed in him- but yes, once upon he was a decent king, and my friend. I think… I do not know what I think." He sounds sad, like he definitely has thoughts or even knowledge about what happened, but his feelings on the matter are what confuse or befuddle him. Suddenly the way he stands seems very familiar to me, in the same way that Erik himself has always seemed a little less than a stranger. Nadir stops us at a crossing, the castle looking more like a dungeon here, despite the fact that we have only ascended since entering.
"I don't know which way from here." He growls, disappointed. I step forward, feeling… something. Like the music in the dream that called me, except even more intangible. I don't know the source or the nature of this feeling, but I feel called.
"Forward. The way is forward." I'm sure of it, but I don't know how. But I am certain. Raoul seems doubtful, but he nods, ready to follow. Nadir relents leadership, gesturing for me to take the front. I nod, and head into the darkness, the firelight from the chamber dispersing all too soon as we travel in.
But I don't feel wrong yet, so I persist. It feels like many years pass in the few moments it takes to reach the end of the cramped tunnel, and it is a mild relief when my outstretched hands touch the wood of a door. I gasp in excitement, and only fumble for a moment to find the door knob. We seem to spill out into the next room, the light more of a relief than I think we were willing to consciously admit it would be while we were in that dark tunnel.
"The court." Nadir exclaims.
"I.. didn't think that was correct." I admit. I had doubts, of course, but the gut instinct was too much to ignore.
"I am surprised." Nadir nods. "But you got us here. Phantom is not here, so he must be in his chamber, waiting for us. It's through here." He explains as he pulls aside a magnificent portrait of a lady who could be an older me. Her dark hair is almost too curly, her hips too wide to be mine. But the shade of her skin, the way her eyelids rest over gentle eyes, the way her lips appear to pout and smile at the same time- she could be me. But behind her, there's one more staircase. It seems impervious to the light of day streaming in from a window just to the left, the second stair already drenched in shadow.
"If you will lead us, one last time, Christine?" Nadir offers the doorway to me. "We will follow you unto the end, my lady. Carlotta and Raoul nod.
I step forward into the doorway…