Author's Note: I hope the goddess does not shame me for the injustice I did her just now by posting this...

Day Seventy-Seven: Starring Role by Marina and The Diamonds

I woke up and unconsciously reached out to touch. A body or maybe just a soul.

But I just felt the sheets.

They felt freezing and it was unsettling…almost depressing.

I looked over. I expected to be disappointed and to see nothing. But unlike always, there was something there. There was a necklace and a note.

I picked them both up curiously.

I found this necklace and thought you'd like it.

I scoffed. Nonetheless, I didn't hesitate to scrutinize it. I noticed it was a necklace with a gold, diamond-studded, star-shaped pendant. I couldn't help but find it ironic. A star in a movie or a play or anything theatrical or artistic is the person who gets the lead. The person who gets the most applause at the end. The person everyone pays attention to. I was certainly not that person to him. It must've been like a joke. This whole thing was a joke.

I shook my head. It was particularly at times like this that I really hated him. He made things impossible. He would give me supposedly or seemingly nice gestures, but at the same time, he couldn't be open or talkative or expressive in pretty much anyway. He seemed cold all the time.

"Where's Toby?"

I lit a cigarette. I took a drag and breathed out slowly before answering. "Does it matter?" I inquired monotonously.

She rolled her eyes at me.

I rolled my eyes back before answering. "I don't know. I don't care."

"Yeah, you do," she told me, unamused. She waved the smoke from her face. "You're just bitter because it's unrequited love."

I scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous, Hanna. I could never love someone who didn't love me back. And…so what? Love is…stupid. He doesn't love me. Big fucking deal," I answered bitterly. It wasn't a big deal.

Well, it was. I'd just never tell anyone that. Especially not him.

Trying to keep my mind distracted, I absentmindedly checked my phone for the thousandth time. I wanted him to text or call me. But…no, I didn't want it.

I sighed before taking another relaxing drag. It helped numb my mind for a few moments. It kept my imagination for running wild and tricking me into thinking that things were alright in our relationship. They weren't. Not when we were sober, at least.

I breathed out as I checked my messages. I put my phone down in annoyance, fumbling for another drag.

"Did you get my gift?" he inquired the next night when he came over.

"Yes," I replied simply.

"I guess you didn't like it." His tone was completely indifferent. He could care less if I actually liked it or not.

I sighed. "We should go out," I said quietly, changing the subject. "I could really use a drink right about now." I couldn't face him. It made me angry and sad and annoyed, all at the same time.

I knew this would frustrate him a bit. Sex. That was what he wanted. And to be completely honest, that was what I wanted, too. Once.

Before I met him, I was just like him. Every new guy was just another notch on my bedpost. I was heartless. It's an awful thing to admit, but it's true. I know it's true.

I was such a pessimist. And now as I think about it, every guy I would string along was just like me. They were always waiting for something more. They were waiting for me to say I loved them. They were waiting for me to say that I meant it.

But I never meant it. I'd never mean it.

And here I sat, waiting for him to mean it. But he never would.

"I love you."

I pulled away from him. I got off of him. I got away from him.

"No, you don't."

It was deadly silent. And then I started to cry.

I could tell he had no idea what to do. In truth, I had no idea what I wanted him to do.

It just brought so many memories; too many, even. It made me remember my childhood. My dad. My dad was the same exact way. I couldn't count how many times he said 'I love you' and it was just…hollow. Meaningless.

"What's wrong?"

I bit the inside of my cheek. "I don't know how much longer I can do this. On one hand…I know I'm never going to let you go. But I can't keep pretending that I mean something to you when I obviously don't."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you don't care!" I answered angrily. "I never feel anything from you. I know how I feel. But whenever you say 'I love you' or anything even remotely similar, I don't feel like you mean it."

"We can just sleep if you don't want to do anything."

I laughed bitterly. "You don't even get it, do you? I can't sleep with you. Even beside you. It makes me feel cold and bitter and hollow. I can hardly be around you. And I have to be with you in that way just to…to feel something."

I stared at him for a moment and it made me want to burst into more tears.

"You're not good for me. I can't anymore."

I took my things and quickly headed for the front door.

"There's a special place in hell for people like us. I guess I'll see you there."

Sorry this one was kind of depressing. Oops. But I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Sarah:My math teacher never lets us use a calculator, so I'm kind of used to it. Plus, it's geometry, so there's not a ton to use calculators on. Lately it's a ton of triangles and some circles and eww not fun. And eww I have homework and A LOT of it. Not fun. And aww, thanks you're a sweetheart.

LittleBittyAbby:I think I like that one the best, too. My bestie Michelle and I used to love her and she tolerated SN, but she hated that song "Haunted". I really liked it (especially the acoustic). And I didn't really like Back to December or Mean. I don't know. Those songs were kind of meh. I liked Haunted, Enchanted, and Better Than Revenge the most. And also Last Kiss, too. I'm mostly alternative, but my sound ranges back and forth. Plus, I feel like alternative is a very broad, general genre. I like MATD, LDR, ZZ Ward, Gin Wigmore (those are my favourites) and then some other Alt artists/bands and then some Alt-Country/Alt-Rock. So my taste in music is very weird. And then a ton of showtunes because I'm a musical theatre geek. And I'd say my taste in music is pretty good, so I think maybe...give some of them a listen? They're good. I promise. Unless your music taste is totally unlike mine (but if you have a broad range, I'm sure they're at least somewhat similar).

MillaMizz:I probably won't get any noms, so :( But oh, well. I guess...another year, maybe? I got mine like a year and a half ago and I hope I won't need another one until I graduate high school. I don't use it for a ton of stuff (homework, fanfiction, writing), so I'm hoping it'll survive until then. I like baking a lot more, but I'm not bad at cooking. Let's put it like this: I can follow a recipe. Oh, that's cool. Pittsburgh, PA? Where the ALDC is? Or another Pittsburgh? And this is weird, but...does your mom have an Australalian accent? And also...if you spot a wallaby...say hey to it for me.

AL3110: No, AL. I am sorry. "Badlier" is not a word. And eww...that's nasty. No, stop, stop, stop. And wow, you are so Punny. And AL. Yup, that's an adjective now. I don't careeeeeeee.

Spobyforever259:Come on. This should turn into the Spoby show. It would get such good ratings. No, no, no. Spoby sleuthing spin-off. Hey, now that Ravenswood tanked, it'll be a hit. Or maybe even Spobaleb OT3 or Spoby/Haleb OT4 (since I so totally love Spaleb/Spoby/Haleb/Taleb/Spanna and Tanna (Toby/Hanna) would be a match made in BrOTP heaven). That would be epic. Yeah, well...I try to get everything. I just finished doing all of the songs (writing out the order and everything) and I still have two spots to fill...so off to find two Spoby-friendly songs. Maybe "When I Was Your Man" by Bruno Mars? I like that song. It would make a nice, sad one-shot. Yeah, with this show, I never have just one theory because I know I'll never be right. Sometimes it's like a merger of like ten theories of mine. It's not fun trying to figure out PLL.

Okay...so...it was mediocre at best and definitely not any justice to this amazing song, which you ALL should know because it's simply incredible and Marina is a goddess.

And the next one-shot is going to be Just a Feeling by Maroon 5, which is slightly better (if my memory does not deceive me). And then an amazing song I probably did an amazingly good job at doing an injustice to and then another amazing song I just butchered. I should just stop, shouldn't I? My writing is just...mediocre at best lately.

I'm going to try and sleep tonight, but *wah* I can't because it's Tech Week and I'm doing costumes and I have to stay at school tomorrow until probably like 10:00 and then on Thursday until prolly like 10:30 because this play is still a hot mess. -Kayson