O'Neill Residence
Colorado Springs, CO
January 3, 2000

It was late by the time Sam finally arrived home. A lot later than she'd planned. Her first day at the SGC had been exciting, despite starting it with a session with Doctor MacKenzie. But the psychiatrist had cleared her for light duty and then she'd been whisked away to numerous meetings and ended up eating a salad and a bowl of fruit for dinner over some of SG-1's mission reports.

She was greeted by warmth and the smell of food when she opened the front door and stepped into the hallway. Before she'd had time to take off her coat Jack came out of the kitchen, sleeves rolled up and drying his hands with a towel. She slipped off her coat and greeted him, "Hi."

He grinned at her and slung the towel over his shoulder. "Hi."

"Sorry I'm late."

"I'm just glad your first day apparently went well."

She couldn't suppress a shiver when she hung up her coat and grimaced when she caught the look he gave her. "It's cold outside," she explained, "and I guess I'm not used to walking around in my dress blues anymore."

His eyes darted lower, to her legs. "You want to get changed while I heat you up some dinner?"

"Where's Ife?"

"I put her to bed almost half an hour ago," he said apologetically. "She fell asleep shortly after you called and said Fraiser would drop you off when her shift was over. I wasn't sure how long you'd be and-"

Sam put a hand on his arm and squeezed it gently. Small touches like that had become easier over the past few weeks. "It's fine, Jack. Ife needs her sleep. I guess I just got caught up with it all. If Doctor Fraiser hadn't found me in the commissary and insisted on a checkup I would probably still be reading those mission reports."

He chuckled and brushed his thumb over her hand. "Guess it's a good thing you find them so interesting because you've got quite some catching up to do if you're going to read all the mission reports from all the SG team members."

"Just SG-1's for now. Teal'c guaranteed me they were by far the most interesting."

"He'd say that," Jack replied, smirking.

Leaning on him, she removed her pumps one by one and held them in her free hand. "Yours are actually quite captivating."

He rolled his eyes and dismissed the genuine compliment. "So, food? Or did you already eat on base?"

"I had a salad, but if dinner tastes half as good as it smells I'll have some." Her appetite seemed to be increasing lately for which she was glad, especially after Doctor Fraiser had commented on her weight again. "But first I want to check on Ife."

"Of course. I'll be in the kitchen, finishing up the dishes."

There was an awkward moment in which neither of them moved, as if unsure what to do, before she released her hold on his arm and stepped back. "I'm just going to take a quick peek and change into something more comfortable."

Ife was sprawled out on the bed, fast asleep. She didn't have a care in the world.

For a few minutes, Sam simply stood there, watching her daughter from the doorway. Being away from her for most of the day had been hard. Harder than she'd expected. She'd thought it would be easier after being left no choice but to leave Ife with others – often Jaffa – on occasion off-world, but knowing how near she was had been harder today. If it hadn't been for Jack, Sam probably would have gone home after a few hours. Instead, she'd told herself that Jack was a good father and Ife most likely wouldn't even miss her. So, Sam had allowed herself to get absorbed into her work at the SGC, knowing Ife was safe, loved and cared for by her father.

After setting her pumps down near the dresser, she soundlessly walked over to the bed and sat down on the covers, the mattress dipping a bit under her weight. Cautiously, she reached out and ran her fingers through Ife's dark hair. The girl didn't stir.

"I missed you, sweetie," Sam whispered. Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to her daughter's forehead, "Sleep tight."

She lingered for a while and it wasn't until the bedroom door opened and more light spilled in that she realized another ten minutes had passed.

Jack walked into the room and stopped just short of her, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to stay here for a little while longer?"

Sam shook her head, even though she was tempted to just lie down next to Ife and watch her sleep all night. Changing into something more comfortable didn't seem worth disturbing Ife's sleep, either. "No. Dinner will get cold."

"We can take her to the living room with us," he said, shrugging. "She usually sleeps like the dead so I doubt she'd wake up if we move her."

"No," Sam said, sighing. She got to her feet and brushed his elbow with her hand. "Her need for sleep, comfort and security is bigger than mine for watching and holding her."

Jack raised a brow, "Is it?"

She grimaced and guided him out of the bedroom. "It should be."

"Sam-"

"It's fine," she said, closing the bedroom door behind them without looking back. "It's going to take me some time to adjust to going back to work and if I start disturbing her sleep for my comfort then it'll become habit and her whole routine goes out the window."

He gave her a look of understanding and grabbed her hand, gently pulling her towards the kitchen. "Food it is, then."

Sam practically started drooling over the pasta at the counter, suddenly starving. Over the weeks she'd learned he was a pretty decent cook and she thanked her lucky stars that her stomach had stopped rebelling to most Earth foods. She was still careful though and tried to stick with the prescribed diet as best she could. "Smells great."

Jack poured them both a glass of wine and steered her towards the living room. "So, do you want to tell me about your day?"

"That sounds very… domestic," she said, chuckling.

He simply flashed her a grin and took a seat on the sofa, patting the seat next to him in an invitation to join him. "Just curious."

She put the plate of pasta down to unbutton her jacket before sitting down next to him. The food was delicious and she took a few bites to think about her answer. "The session with Doctor MacKenzie went well," she said slowly. When she called Jack earlier that day she'd told him the shrink had cleared her for light duty and that she'd stay on base for the rest of the afternoon to be read into everything.

"He's good at his job," Jack said noncommittally. He took a sip of wine, the glass he'd poured for her in his other hand. "He's been with the Program since day one and has seen a lot of the crazy stuff the SGC deals with. Hammond wouldn't have kept him around if he wasn't up to it."

"Something he said made me wonder." She finished the plate of food and set it on the coffee table as she recalled the conversation they'd had about her uniform. "Where did you find my dress blues?"

He handed her the other glass of wine as he flicked his wrist and made tiny circles in the air with his own glass, gaze firmly locked on the swirling liquid. "I told you I attended your, er, funeral. But that wasn't the only time I saw your dad."

Sam put a hand on his forearm and waited until he looked her in the eye to reply, "Are you saying you kept in touch with my dad and he gave them to you?"

"He didn't believe the cover story and demanded answers. Hammond couldn't give him the truth and I think he realized that, so he came to me."

"What did you tell him?"

Jack grinned roguishly, "Well, he was pretty relentless and considering my less-than-regulation-abiding nature, I ended up telling him a variation of the truth. He knew you were still alive and that I was working on a way to get you home safely."

The look he gave her made her wonder about the rapport between him and her dad, because she was could see the fondness in his eyes. She tightened her grip on his arm and whispered, "Tell me more."

Starting at the beginning, he told her about his meetings with her dad, the things they talked about, what her dad thought had happened to her and how proud he was of her. Jack cleared his throat and looked away from her, "We both thought he'd had more time. That I had more time to complete my undercover mission and get you home."

"He died knowing I was alive," Sam said when he finished talking. Ever since General Hammond informed her of her dad's passing she'd wondered if things could have gone differently if he'd known the truth. Now she knew. "That I was safe."

"I was undercover when it happened," he said. "Later I found out he'd made arrangements to get me some stuff."

"My dress blues. His way of saying he had faith in you."

"Or to remind me of the promise I made him," he said skeptically.

She shook her head, "My dad didn't trust easily."

Jack turned his hand palm up and when she placed hers atop of it he entwined his fingers with hers, squeezing gently. "I think I understood where he was coming from."

"Jack…"

"Maybe when you feel up to it we can go to Arlington and say our goodbyes."

She wasn't ready yet to take that step and they both knew it. It made her appreciate his offer all the more. "I'd like that."

Raising his glass, he softly clanked it to hers. "To your dad."

"To Dad." She took a sip of wine and savored the taste with her eyes closed. Memories of her dad came to her mind unbidden and she sighed. God, she missed him. They hadn't even been that close at the time of her mission – hell, he hadn't told her about his cancer – but it hurt to know he was truly gone now and she hadn't been given the opportunity to say goodbye. He'd never meet Ife and Ife would never meet her grandad. At least he'd mended fences with Mark and met her brother's kids, she thought.

Jack must have recognized her mood because he squeezed her hand gently before releasing and getting up, giving her a moment to herself. When she opened her eyes she realized he'd taken her plate with him and figured he was probably busying himself in the kitchen. She idly wondered how he'd gotten to know her so well, but decided it didn't matter. She was just glad he did – and that he'd taken the risk of telling her father part of the truth while she was unable to do so.

A few minutes later he returned to the living room and gave her a concerned look as he sat down next to her, his arm brushing hers. "Everything okay?"

"Just thinking about Dad," she said wistfully. "I'm glad you told him and that he died knowing I was safe, but I wish he could have met Ife."

"Yeah." Jack nodded, a small smile playing around his lips, "She'd have wrapped him around her little finger."

Sam teasingly bumped her shoulder against his, "Just like you?"

He smirked, a twinkle in his eye. "I think Jacob would have understood my soft spot for Carter women."

"He adored my mom."

"Well, he mentioned that you take after her, so I can see why," he said softly.

Unsure of how to respond, Sam took a sip of wine and tried to come up with a different topic. "So, how was your day?"

He snorted and gave her a knowing look, but still replied, "No bad guys chased me and I had the undivided attention of a Carter woman. Not a bad day at all."

"She wasn't any trouble?"

"Nah. Cassie dropped by after school with a gift; a coloring set," he said, waving a hand in the general direction of the corner where they'd put Ife's toys. "It was a big success. I'm pretty sure it's too early to say if she has any talent but I stuck her drawing to the fridge anyway."

Sam felt a surge of pride for their daughter but it was nearly canceled out by disappointment for not being there to see Ife make her first drawing. Going back to work would mean missing out on a whole lot more and she wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea, but considering how much of Ife's life Jack had already missed she decided not to voice it. "She's adjusting so well to everything," she said. "I just hope tomorrow will be another step forward and not three backwards."

"She'll be fine. Dixon's wife knows what she's doing and Dixon already talked to her about how Ife has had… an unusual upbringing," Jack said. "Besides, it'll only be for a few hours, right?"

"Yes, just half days for now," she confirmed. "Mornings mostly. Today was an exception because it was my first day and I knew Ife was in good hands with you."

He smirked and placed his hand on her knee, squeezing in reassurance. "And she'll be in good hands with Dixon's wife, too."

Sam could feel her knee practically glowing from the heat of his hand with her pantyhose the only barrier between his palm and her knee. She swallowed hard when he subconsciously moved his fingers against the inside of her knee, his calluses catching on her pantyhose and eliciting unexpected tendrils of pleasure from her. Suppressing a shudder, she tried to focus on the conversation as he told her about the times the Dixons had taken care of Cassie when she first arrived on Earth.

"Are you cold?"

"Um…" She barely had time to reply – and she wasn't about to tell him the goosebumps that appeared on her thigh had nothing to do with being cold – before he moved to retrieve an afghan and threw it over their laps. "Thanks."

He quirked a smile and stretched his arm along the back of the sofa. "Are you worried about leaving Ife with a stranger for the first time? I know you said it's just for a few hours but it could be a couple of days in a row, depending on how long my mission lasts."

Sam shifted and pulled her legs up, tucking her feet under the afghan. The thought of Jack being gone for a few days was strange considering they spent most of their time together and his missions so far had only taken a day or two. But now they'd both be going to work and leaving their daughter with a babysitter. She could only hope nothing bad would happen to either of them, but they'd discussed the dangerous nature of their work at the SGC before she'd made the decision to return to duty. "It's not that I'm worried about Dixon's wife," she said, "I'm sure she's capable of taking care of Ife. And this wouldn't be the first time Ife's in the care of others. At least this time she'll be safe here on Earth. I'm just a little worried about how long it will take Ife to settle in and be comfortable. She's getting older and becoming more aware of the world around her, I guess. She never used to be shy or so quiet and withdrawn as she was at the SGC."

"I have a briefing at oh six hundred but you don't start until later, right? So maybe you can go over to the Dixons a bit early to properly meet our new babysitter and let Ife settle in."

"Maybe I'll do that," she said, leaning into him a bit more.

Jack smirked when she moved closer and cautiously lowered his arm from the back of the sofa to rest on her shoulders. "You said this wouldn't be the first time Ife's left with someone else, so who was your off-world babysitter aside from Bra'tac? Moac?"

Snorting, she playfully poked him in the ribs with her elbow. "Most of the time it was a Jaffa priestess Bra'tac knew."

"An old flame?"

"Of Teal'c's," she said, grinning at his surprised look, "not Bra'tac's."

He narrowed his eyes, "Interesting. He's never mentioned an ex-girlfriend."

She snuggled into his side, enjoying the warmth of his body and feeling secure in his arms. "She's with the Rebel Jaffa."

"How did you meet?"

"Bra'tac looked her up to help me with the delivery," she explained, thinking back to the stressful time when she was ready to pop and hiding from the Goa'uld forces. "According to Jaffa culture, childbirth is usually assisted by a priestess if one's husband is high enough in the ranks. Bra'tac knew she could be trusted and that we needed the help. Neither of us had any experience with childbirth or newborns."

Jack tightened his arm around her and sighed softly. "So Teal'c's ex helped deliver Ife?"

For a moment she was back in that cave, alone, cold and scared, hoping Bra'tac would return soon with the priestess. She shook off the memory. "Not exactly."

"Bra'tac then?" He asked, with a raised brow.

"Remember how I told you we thought I still had a month to go when Ife was born?"

Jack nodded, the look in his eyes intense. "Yeah."

Suppressing a shiver, she started telling him about the snowy planet and the cave in which they set up their things before Bra'tac left to find Shan'auc. "I thought my back was just sore from retrieving food earlier," she said. "But then my water broke and I realized I was in labor."

"You were on your own." He pulled her a little closer and rested his cheek on her head. "Bra'tac didn't make it back in time, did he?"

"No," she whispered. A smile tugged on her lips at the memory of holding her daughter for the first time. "Ife was born the next day. She was just perfect. So tiny and loud. I was exhausted and fell asleep with her on my chest. Sometime later I woke up to find Bra'tac and the priestess watching us."

Jack pressed a kiss to her hair, "Jesus, Sam."

It had been difficult at the time but oh so rewarding. "I'm sorry you couldn't be there."

"Isn't that supposed to be my line?" He asked, pulling back a little to look at her face.

She felt a sharp pain in her neck when she tried to face him more and grimaced. Reaching up, she rubbed at the sore spot. "Ow."

Jack's eyes had gone from teasing to concerned and his hand came up to touch her neck tentatively. "What's wrong?"

"Just a crick in my neck," she said dismissively. Probably from poring over all of his mission reports at the SGC earlier.

"Ah, a common side effect from flying a desk all day."

She rolled her eyes but didn't push his hand away. "I meant what I said; I should have told you sooner about Ife and I'm sorry."

His hand found its way to the back of her neck and he started massaging the sore muscles there gently. "We talked about this, Sam," he said. "I understand why you didn't tell me when you were off-world. I don't agree with you keeping the truth from me for so long, but I accept that you had your reasons. It doesn't matter now."

"Jack…"

"Let's not dwell."

Any protests she had died on her tongue at his tone. The hurt was still there but he'd pushed it away for the sake of their daughter… and maybe them? She knew her actions had hurt him deeply yet he seemed to have forgiven her. Forgiveness was easier than forgetting though, she was all too aware of that. Still, it was more than she could have hoped for. For a man like him with such a dark past… he never ceased to amaze her.

"Tell me more about Ife," he murmured.

She did as he asked, while his strong fingers continued his massage. The tension drained from her neck and shoulders under his ministrations and she fought not to doze off as she recounted the first few weeks of Ife's life. The help of Shan'auc, dealing with a newborn, the hardships, traveling, foraging, trading… her fears. "In Jaffa culture a child cannot be named until they can hold up their head on their own. From what I understood it's because the infant mortality rate is pretty high."

Jack's hand moved higher and he started removing the pins that kept her hair up, until her locks tumbled down her shoulders. "So you couldn't name Ife until she was, what, three months old because you had to live the Jaffa way?" When she nodded he made a noncommittal noise and slid his hand into her hair, massaging her scalp. "Does Ife have a special meaning, like Shifu meaning light?"

"Yeah." Sam sighed and searched for the words to explain her choice to him. So far, she hadn't told anyone, although she was sure Bra'tac and other Jaffa – including Teal'c – already knew. "I never gave having kids much thought, let alone names. But even after Ife was born I couldn't come up with anything at first. In the end, it turned out to be so simple."

"Yeah?"

His warm brown eyes locked onto hers and she nodded. "I probably would have given up a lot earlier if I hadn't been pregnant," she confessed. "Ife kept me going. The moment she was born I felt such overwhelming and unconditional love. I didn't know that was possible."

Jack smiled knowingly but she didn't miss the flash of pain on his features. "Kids bring that out in people."

"I know Ife wasn't conceived in love but that's what I feel when I look at her."

"Me too," he said. "I think it's fitting."

Sam wasn't sure how to interpret the look in his eyes but she felt it all the way down to her core. Her breathing hitched and she closed her eyes to block out the intensity, but that only served to make her hyperaware of his hand in her hair. She canted her head when his fingers hit the spot to give him better access to the knots in her neck. A soft moan escaped her lips when his nails scraped down her neck and she felt a flush creep up her neck in response to the touch. When she opened her eyes she was greeted by the heat in his and felt a rush of desire.

Jack brought his free hand up to her cheek and leaned in to close the distance between them. "Sam," he murmured, before his lips covered hers.

It was her first kiss since escaping the ha'tak and despite knowing it was Jack, she couldn't help but tense. She knew he noticed when he eased the pressure of his mouth and forced herself to respond, moving her lips lightly against his. They were thin and pliant, undemanding. So unlike Klorel. Closing her eyes, she focused on the feeling of Jack's mouth on hers. The kiss was slow and tentative as they moved against each other.

His thumb caressed her cheek while he tasted her, fueling the low buzz of arousal she felt deep in her belly. She pressed her lips a little harder against his and he responded in kind but kept up the leisurely pace. Heat rushed through her when he sucked gently on her lower lip and she blindly reached for him, sliding her hand into his hair to pull him closer.

She opened her mouth a little and traced his upper lip with the tip of her tongue, eliciting a low groan from him. He kissed her harder, lips sliding wetly over hers. Needing more, she tightened her grip on him and sucked on his lip before bringing teeth and tongue into play until he opened his mouth. Her tongue gained entry and she moaned when she tasted him.

He let her explore before his tongue found hers and they tangled together, reacquainting themselves with each other intimately. After what felt like forever, he took control of the kiss and became more demanding, tasting and stroking.

Sam felt like she was on fire while he explored her mouth and she shifted closer, needing more contact, when he pulled away. Breathlessly, she opened her eyes and smiled at his dazed look.

He leaned back further and wiped a hand at his mouth, breathing hard. "Shit."

"Jack?"

"I shouldn't have… done that," he said, frowning.

Confused, she tried to make sense of what he was saying but her brain was still a bit fuzzy. "I don't understand."

Jack got up and threw her an apologetic look. "I got caught up in… everything. It was too soon."

"Too soon?"

He nodded and made a vague gesture in her direction. "You're still dealing with everything. I shouldn't have taken advantage."

Sam barely had time to come up with a reply before he left the living room. "Jack," she called out, after getting to her feet.

"I'm sorry, Sam," he said, halfway down the hall without turning back.

Upset, she stared at his rigid back, wondering what the hell had just happened. Her lips still tingled from his kisses. "At least talk to me."

He hung his head and groaned, but still didn't face her. "I have to be at the SGC in a few hours. Let's talk when I get back from my mission."

"Okay," she said, swallowing thickly. She watched as he disappeared down the hall without another word. How had they gone from kissing to… this?

Well, at least he hadn't said it was a mistake.