Stargate Command
Colorado Springs, CO
January 6, 2000

The commissary was deserted and Jack was bored. Under normal circumstances, he'd go check on his teammates or just annoy Daniel. But Daniel was invisible, out of phase, in another dimension or whatever. He wondered if Daniel recognized the irony in the situation, considering the archaeologist was usually the one telling Jack not to touch things. This time, however, Daniel was the one who couldn't resist the lure of a crystal skull.

They'd caught a lucky break with Daniel's grandfather, though. Nick had apparently done the same thing a few decades ago and was the only one who could see Daniel and communicate with him. All those years ago, Nick was transported to the planet on which they'd found Daniel's crystal skull from Earth and he'd gone back to normal afterwards. The fact that Teal'c zatted Daniel while the skull did its thing was probably why Daniel was still... gone.

Jack looked up when Doctor Fraiser headed his way with her tray. "Doc."

"Colonel," she replied, before taking a seat opposite him. "Where's the rest of your team?"

"Teal'c is kelno'reeming before the mission. Daniel is supposedly with his grandfather, telling him all about our adventures since we got the stargate to work. Of course, he could also be here, yammering about the cultural importance of giant aliens," he said, glancing around them. "But we wouldn't be able to see or hear him."

Fraiser rolled her eyes and tucked into her dinner. "I hear General Hammond gave permission for you to return to the planet?"

He figured she'd been told because she had to clear Nicholas Ballard for gate travel, "Yeah. It'll probably be a few more hours, though."

"Waiting for the roster to clear?"

"SOP," he confirmed. "There's a few teams who have scheduled check-ins, two that are supposed to return and two more scheduled departures in the next few hours. You know how it is, according to Nick Daniel is doing fine and without an emergency we just have to wait our turn."

She gave him a sympathetic smile, knowing all too well how impatient he was. "Well, at least Daniel isn't suffering any side effects from his current state."

"You mean except for the fact that no one can see or hear him aside from his grandfather, Doc?"

She shrugged and poked at some of the food with her fork. "I figured you might appreciate the reprieve, Sir."

Smirking, he adopted a relaxed posture. "It is kinda nice and quiet."

"Enjoy it while it lasts, Colonel."

"Will do." He watched as she took a sip of water and waited for her to reveal her true motivation for coming to him. When she didn't say anything he sighed, "So, what's the real reason you're here, Doc?"

Fraiser eyed the leftover piece of cake on his plate speculatively. "Just wanted to make sure you were all right. Not feeling any after effects from the muon radiation?"

Jack was instantly on alert and straightened in his seat. "No. Why? You said I was fine after my overnight stay in the infirmary."

"And I wouldn't have cleared you to fly to Oregon, never mind return to active duty if I felt otherwise," she said in her CMO tone. "However, I couldn't help but notice you're not acting like yourself, Sir."

"You think something is wrong with me because I didn't finish my cake?" He asked after her pointed look at the dessert. Even he had to admit it was unusual but not something that warranted a check-up by the CMO.

The Doc sighed, appearing exasperated already. "It's not just the cake, Colonel. It's been going on for a couple of days now and first I thought perhaps it was the muon radiation. Perhaps I was looking in the wrong direction and it has to do with Sam?"

Narrowing his eyes, he felt his defenses rise. Another lecture from her about his relationship with Sam was something he didn't need. Not after the kiss. He'd already been kicking himself the past few days over his lack of self-control. "What makes you think that, Doc?"

"For one, you haven't gone home since your mission to P7X-377."

"Yeah well, I was a little busy what with the effects from being exposed to all that muon radiation and picking up Daniel's grandfather."

Fraiser ignored his snarky tone and reached into her coat's pocket to present him with a folded piece of paper. "Does it have anything to do with this?"

For a moment, he was confused and unfolded the paper. Oh. The DNA results. "Did you, um, talk to Sam?"

"If you'd gone home or talked to her on base you would already know the answer. Sir."

"I take it that's a yes?"

She pulled her hand away when he wanted to return the report. "Keep it. I gave Sam a copy this morning. She was the one who asked me to perform the test, after all."

He tucked it into his BDU jacket and made a mental note to put it in his locker before gearing up. "Right."

"My advice, Sir? Talk to her," Fraiser said as she got to her feet. "She's come a long way and I believe you've played an important role in her recovery. There's more than your feelings at stake now."

"Thanks, Doc." That was probably the closest she'd come to apologizing for what she'd said to him over Thanksgiving and he acknowledged it with a curt nod. She'd just been looking out for Sam and Ife, after all. And damn, if there hadn't been some truth to her warning. Hadn't he forced that kiss on Sam when he very well knew she wasn't ready?

Fraiser walked off with her tray, stopping a few feet away to clear it in the designated bin. Turning back to him, she gave him a warm smile. "Oh and Colonel? Congratulations."

She was gone before he could say anything, his mind still on Sam. While it was true that he'd been preoccupied with his stay in the infirmary and flying to and from Oregon, he also had to admit he'd been purposely avoiding her.

Going home had both been tempting and a really bad idea. He wanted to see her and Ife, but knew he wouldn't have enough time once he got there before he had to go back to depart for P7X-377 again. They needed to talk about what happened a few nights ago and that was a conversation he didn't want to have to cut short. Talking had never been his strong suit but he could recognize the need of it. Besides, it wasn't like his recent actions had been his best ideas…

The kiss had been a long time in the making as far as he was concerned. That evening, it had felt like the right moment. She'd had a sort of glow on her face, despite the long day she'd had. Bright smiles, blue eyes matching her dress blues. He could still recall the sight of her long legs, all pale skin with a tiny mole on the inside of her knee, the way the nylon had caught on his fingers. She'd leaned into him, his hand in her hair, fingers massaging her skin, the little tilt of her head…

He'd been lost and gave into the desire to kiss her. She had tensed under him and instead of pulling back he'd selfishly continued, only easing the pressure of his lips on hers. The need to taste her had been overwhelming and he'd ignored the fact that she wasn't ready. When she did respond the heady desire went straight to his head and their tentative kisses had fueled his arousal. Things had grown heated and his mind traveled back to their time in DC. By the time their tongues were tangling around each other he was hard and his hands itched to rip open her blouse and explore her body. He'd barely managed to resist and pull away before he got carried away…

"SG-1 to the briefing room, SG-1 to the briefing room."

He was jerked from his thoughts at the announcement and figured Hammond had found a small window of opportunity for him, Teal'c and Daniel's grandfather to return the crystal skull to its place and get Daniel back. With a last glance at the forlorn piece of cake he got to his feet, picked up his tray and headed for the bin.

O'Neill Residence
Colorado Springs, CO
January 7, 2000

The house was quiet and Sam could feel the tension from the past couple of days fall away as she took a deep breath. She sat cross-legged on the floor and wiggled her bare toes, grimacing when the callus of her right foot scratched against her left thigh.

Focus.

Closing her eyes, she tried to close herself off from the world but the flicker of candle light was still visible behind her eyelids. She could hear the wind howling outside and sense Ife on the other side of the house in her playpen. Comfortable and safe.

Sam tried to shake off the distractions and shifted her focus to her breathing. In… out. In… out. She was briefly reminded of the first time Bra'tac tried to teach her to kelno'reem and suppressed a smile. Redoubling her efforts, she turned her focus inwards and let herself relax.

Her heartrate slowed and she concentrated on her heartbeat. Thud… thud… thud. The kelno'reem sessions had been the only thing to bring her some peace and clarity while living off-world and today she was rather in need of both.

Any moment now Jack could come home and they hadn't spoken since the kiss three days ago. Hell, he hadn't even been home and while she'd gotten a few glimpses of his silver hair at the SGC, she got the impression he was actively avoiding her. If Catherine hadn't called her Tuesday evening then she wouldn't even have known about the radiation poisoning…

Nails dug into the palms of her hand and Sam made a conscious effort to rein in her emotions. "Damn it," she muttered, opening her eyes. The whole purpose of kelno'reeming was to clear her head and not get caught up in her thoughts and frustrations from the past couple of days. Sighing, she focused on the flame of the candle in front of her and let the tension ebb away. It was the first time this week that she had a moment to herself and she needed it to prepare herself for her confrontation with Jack.

Shortly after closing her eyes, she could feel the world around her fall away, her breathing and heartbeat the only things grounding her. Her lips started tingling as she thought back to Monday evening and a warmth spread out over her whole body. The kiss had started out gentle and cautious, perhaps even a bit clumsy, but it had gotten heated quickly.

Jack's reaction had hurt but most of all left her confused. He'd been the one to initiate the kiss and she was perceptive enough to know the passion that took hold of her hadn't been one-sided. She could easily picture the look on his face from when he'd broken off the kiss and apologized. She frowned, recalling his words. They'd spent pretty much every day together since she'd sort of moved in three months ago. How could it be too soon?

For some reason, Jack thought he'd taken advantage of her and that didn't sit well with Sam. How could he think that to be true? If she hadn't wanted to kiss him, she wouldn't have responded as eagerly as she had. And how could he have misinterpreted her reaction?

He'd just walked off and went to bed, leaving her in the living room. Highly aroused, aching and terribly confused.

Sam thought she'd made it pretty clear she was interested in exploring what was between them, but what if she hadn't? Or perhaps he thought she'd only gone along with it out of gratefulness for all his help? She shook her head, dismissing the idea. It wasn't a simple case of gratitude or transference because of their current living situation – or the way he'd risked his life to get her home.

Jack assumed she wasn't ready for more, even though she'd given every indication. At the cabin when they were celebrating Christmas and at the evenings they'd spent on the sofa together at the house since then. She was aware of the caution that accompanied his every touch and it didn't take a genius to figure out why he was so careful around her. She'd been opening up more with him lately, telling him about her years off-world but perhaps it was time to share some of the more… intimate truths. The ones she'd kept to herself all this time.

He obviously thought she was traumatized and perhaps felt like she was emotionally vulnerable when he'd kissed her. She appreciated his consideration but she didn't want their relationship – if they took whatever it was between them any further – to be marred by what happened to her. For every word to be double-checked before it left his mouth or every touch to be hesitant and careful.

Even the kiss had started out cautious and she knew any intimacy between them could be different. Better.

A memory from two years ago came to mind unbidden; Jack playing pool in a bar and grill in Washington DC, shamelessly flirting with her, his accidental touches full of purpose. She held onto it and dug deep for more memories of their meeting. For once, she was going to use the technique Bra'tac taught her to delve into her own memories, rather than Herit's.

The banter, flirting over a game of pool, going to his hotel room… Her core temperature spiked when she thought back to how they'd spent the night. For once, she was almost grateful for the circumstances that had led to her learning how to kelno'reem as the images played out in her mind in Technicolor. Memories had never been this vivid. Now, she could practically feel the touch of his hands on her body, his lips kissing along her neck, his hot breath on her skin…

The sex had been good, too. It had felt like more than a one-night stand, she'd felt a connection to him and she remembered how she would have liked to explore it if he hadn't been Air Force and stationed in a different state.

The thought seemed silly now.

Sam's eyes popped open. Even back then she'd wanted more and so had he, so why were they suddenly so insecure about their intentions and feelings? Jack had wanted more than a night of sex but she'd brushed him off at the time. Since then he'd showed her he cared for her – and Ife – in many ways and he'd initiated the kiss.

She was just trying to come up with a way to convince Jack of it when she heard the front door open and close. The shuffle of feet in the entry told her Jack was probably taking off their coat. A few seconds later she heard the familiar footfall move father away. He was heading for the living room from the sounds of it, where Ife was no doubt thrilled to see him again.

Sighing, Sam gave up on her attempts to kelno'reem. It hadn't achieved anything aside from making her remember what it had been like to be with Jack. Her mind was no clearer than before she'd started and she could feel frustration crawl up her spine again.

"Time to face the music," she muttered.

Taking care of all the candles took her a minute or two and then she dashed into the bathroom to check out her reflection. The events from the past week had taken their toll and she hadn't gone shopping yet for makeup to hide the dark circles under her eyes, but she figured Jack had seen her looking worse. Letting out a sigh of resignation, she ran a hand through her hair before leaving the bathroom.

She heard Jack speaking in low tones to their daughter before she saw him. He was sitting on the sofa, with Ife in his lap beaming up at him. For a moment, Sam simply stood there watching, drinking in the sight of Jack with their daughter. He flashed a smile at Ife and started tickling her, making their girl squirm as she erupted into giggles. His grin was full of adoration while playing and then he whispered something, before leaning in and blowing a raspberry into Ife's neck.

Sam's heart constricted at the high-pitched squeals of laughter and Jack's low chuckles and then it swelled with pride and love as she watched the two most important people in her life. She released a shaky breath and unclenched her fists at the realization. Maybe she hadn't spoken the words aloud, but she knew them to be true – and as she let their interaction of the past few months pass her mind's eye, she knew Jack felt the same way about her and Ife.

Then, as if he could read her thoughts, Jack looked up and caught her gaze. He didn't seem surprised, but the soft smile on his face faded slowly to be replaced with a more guarded look. She hated that blank mask. "Hey."

"She missed you," Sam said, after clearing her throat and nodding at their daughter.

"And I missed my favorite munchkin."

Sam smiled as he followed up his reply with a kiss to Ife's little nose. Taking a deep breath, she steeled her nerves and waited until he looked her way again. "I missed you, too."

His eyes widened and it pleased her that he was unable to check his reaction. He swallowed visibly and hugged Ife tightly, looking at her over their girl's head. "Me too, Sam."

"How are you?" She asked, stepping closer and wringing her hands. Even in the dim lighting she could tell he looked good, healthy albeit tired, and a weight was lifted. "Catherine told me about the muon radiation."

"She shouldn't have."

She sat down next to him, smiling as Ife sprawled herself all over Jack's chest and pressed her little face into his neck. Reaching out, she squeezed their daughter's foot. "I told Catherine about Ife's paternity, although I'm pretty sure she already had her suspicions. That's the reason she told me."

He covered her hand and Ife's foot with his much larger hand and sighed. "That's precisely why she shouldn't have told you. You had enough going on being back on duty. I was fine."

"You collapsed and Teal'c had to carry you back to the stargate."

"I'll admit, it wasn't one of my finer moments," he said lightly.

"Jack…"

He ignored her rolling her eyes and entwined his fingers with hers, "I didn't want you to worry."

"You're Ife's father and I… care about you," she said slowly. "I may not technically have any rights to know, but you should have told me. Instead, you kept it from me and I found out from Catherine when it was too late to get a babysitter and come visit you in the infirmary."

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you. There was nothing you could have done and the Doc let me go the next day because I was perfectly fine."

Sam bit her lip and twisted her fingers around his, before looking up into his dark eyes. "I dropped Ife off early at the Dixons and visited you in the infirmary. You weren't fine, Jack." When he frowned, she held up her hand to forestall any questions, "It was still early and Doctor Fraiser told me you'd finally fallen into a deep sleep, after all the restlessness and running hot and cold earlier."

He scrubbed his free hand over his face and huffed out a breath. "I couldn't really sleep until the Doc gave me the good stuff. You were there?"

"For a little while." She wasn't going to tell him she'd sat at his bedside for nearly two hours, watching him sleep. "I didn't want to wake you and figured I'd check on you again in my coffee break, but you were gone by the time I got there."

"The Doc cleared me to fly to Oregon and pick up Daniel's grandfather."

Sam reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair from Ife's face and sighed, catching his eye. "I'd hoped you would come home afterwards. You didn't. All I got was a vague voicemail with some excuse to avoid me."

He gaped at her for a moment, "I didn't… Sam, I-"

"Because of the kiss, right?"

"I figured it would be best to give you some space," he said, grimacing.

She leaned and picked Ife up from his lap, waiting for the girl to wrap her arms around her neck to get to her feet to pace the living room. "No, you wanted space. You kissed me, then you walked away and avoided me for the rest of the week."

Jack sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking a little lost. He threw her a pained look before shaking his head and peering at the fire. The silence stretched between them as he worked his jaw, tension radiating from him. "I shouldn't have kissed you that night," he said, holding up his hand to forestall a response, "but I also meant what I said about talking about if after the mission. Just didn't expect the damn mission to take the better part of the week."

"But Daniel is okay, right?"

"Yeah, he's fine. More than fine, actually, now that he and Nick have something in common."

She nodded in acknowledgment and pushed away the bit of guilt she felt over not asking about his friend's status earlier. She was just… a little preoccupied. Looking at Jack, she felt some of her earlier frustrations ebb away. "Why don't you take Ife to bed and then we'll talk?"

Relief visibly washed over him and he got to his feet, stretching out his arms to take their daughter from her. "Dixon told me his wife is nuts about her."

"Ife's been good," she confirmed. "A bit quiet and not yet playing with the other children, but then they're a bit older."

"Dixon's always complaining about how boisterous his kids are, so that doesn't surprise me. But Ife's doing okay with the whole separation thing?"

Sam smiled when he took the girl from her and nuzzled her dark mop of hair. "She's a bit clingy when I pick her up in the afternoons but it gets better in the evenings. She was already doing better today. I think she'd like her daddy to tuck her in now, though."

The look on Jack's face nearly melted her heart and the grin he flashed her sent her hormones in overdrive. Then he turned his attention back to Ife, "What do you say, munchkin? You tired yet? How about I'll read you a bedtime story and then you'll catch some zees so mommy and daddy can talk?"

"Tired," Ife said, snuggling closer. "Daddy."

"Good night, sweetie."

Jack beamed at her and waited while she stepped forward to press a kiss to Ife's cheek, before he turned around and headed for the bedroom.

Sam paced the living room while he was gone, her mind going over all the possible scenarios for their conversation the way she'd run simulations at the SGC all week. There were other things they needed to discuss as well but everything boiled down to their relationship, including the kiss. She knew she wanted more than what they currently had and considering he'd made the first move, she suspected he felt the same way but was worried about forcing anything on her.

If they kept this up, they'd get exactly nowhere and that wasn't what she wanted.

Sighing, she stopped pacing and tried to decide on the best way to broach the subject. Her gaze landed on the photographs on the mantel and she smiled when she spotted the one of her and Ife at Thanksgiving – Jack had left one for her on her nightstand and shortly after they'd returned from the cabin she'd noticed the framed copy on his mantel. There were a few photographs of Charlie too, in some he was pictured alone or with Jack and in one with Jack's ex-wife Sara.

Sam reached out to touch the frame of the Thanksgiving photograph and she wondered if Daniel had taken one of Jack with Ife as well that evening. It was worth inquiring. Especially now that General Hammond knew Jack was Ife's father and Doctor Fraiser had the DNA test to prove it. Jack deserved a picture of himself with his daughter.

Just as Sam started wondering whether Ife was being extremely clingy with Jack or if he needed a moment to himself after the 'Daddy'-thing she heard his footsteps heading away from the bedroom. Suddenly feeling nervous about the decision she'd made, she straightened up and waited for him to join her in the living room.

After a few minutes, Jack showed up, having detoured to the kitchen from the looks of the beer in his hand. He pulled up beside her, eying the two photographs of Ife and Charlie side by side. "It's gonna take some getting used to," he muttered, taking a swig of beer.

"You're her father."

"Yeah."

Sam briefly touched his arm before pulling her hand away again, "It's going to get out soon."

He looked up from his beer, holding her gaze. "Fraiser handed me the DNA results."

"I know." She didn't mention that she'd have told him herself or that he could have known she and Doctor Fraiser had talked about it if he hadn't avoided her for the past few days, but from the way he winced she knew he'd heard it anyway.

"Does Hammond know? I didn't stick around to ask after my debrief… I wanted to get home," he added.

She nodded and grabbed the beer from him, taking a sip. "He said he'd report it to his superiors next week, if you'd be back by then. He wanted to give us the opportunity to brace ourselves, I suppose."

He didn't say anything when she handed him the bottle, but his gaze lingered on her lips. "Let's hope we won't have to."

"I talked to Major Davis."

"Yeah?"

She rolled her eyes at his typical reaction and started pacing again. Moving around helped her think. "He's hopeful things will go our way."

Jack made a noncommittal sound before taking another swig. "Good."

"My finances are in order. All I need to do is open a new account and I'll get the money the Air Force owes me for my supposed undercover mission."

"Oh."

From the corner of her eye, she'd noticed how he barely managed to suppress his emotions before the blank mask reappeared. "He also wanted to know if we wanted to add another name to Ife's new birth certificate. I told him she'd take your surname," she said slowly, "but that I'd talk to you and get back to him. You weren't part of her life until recently, but as her father you have a say in her name."

His dark eyes settled on her face, almost as if searching for something. Then, the corners of his mouth tipped up in a small smile. He held her gaze and lifted his hand to caress her cheek, before dropping it to his side again. "No. Ife is perfect."

"Jack…"

"So," he said, turning away and setting his beer on the coffee table. "Have you decided what you're going to do when you have the money? Last you mentioned, it was a down payment for a house or apartment in Colorado Springs or the possibility of living elsewhere."

Sam recognized the way he tried to put some distance between them and sighed. The walls had been erected and suddenly he looked more like Colonel O'Neill than Jack. Taking a chance, she stepped up to him and slipped her hands around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. He froze when their lips touched and this time, she took control. She brushed her lips against his until they tingled and then he responded, slowly.

She took another step until she was pressed up against his chest and let her tongue peek out to run it along the seam of his lips. When his hands settled on her hips, she slipped one hand into his hair and exerted more pressure with her mouth until he opened his. His tongue welcomed hers when she ran her tip along his teeth and a moan escaped her when she tasted him. "Jack…"

He pulled her closer, arms wrapping around her and his tongue slid against hers. They explored, teased and tasted until the need for air became too much. Jack was panting when he broke off the kiss, his chest heaving against her. "That was unexpected."

"I wanted to kiss you," she said, breathlessly.

He smirked, rubbing his thumb along her lips. "I figured."

Rolling her eyes, she tried to ignore the delicious feelings he evoked in her. "I also wanted you to kiss me that evening."

"Sam-"

"I wanted you to kiss me," she repeated, interrupting him. "And I don't care about the money. I don't want to move out. That night in DC? I'd never felt that way with anyone before and it pissed me off that it was with you, some Air Force guy who didn't even live in the same state."

He chuckled as he disentangled himself from her, "I didn't want you to go."

She remembered. "I felt the potential for more that night. At the time, it probably scared me a little, especially after my previous relationship."

"And then everything went to hell in a handbasket," he said solemnly.

"It did," she acknowledged, "but the potential is still there. Jesus Jack, you risked a hell of a lot to bring me back and you offered me a place to stay, accepted Ife as your own and even offered to adopt her to prevent any possible consequences of the truth coming out."

He made a face and took a step backwards, "Sam-"

She shook her head and grabbed his hands with both of hers. "I'm not finished yet. This isn't about gratitude or transference or whatever you want to call it. Look, we both know we care about the other and Ife. And I think somewhere down the line, I fell in love with you. I want you, Jack. I want all of you in every way: as my friend, partner, lover and father to Ife. If that's not what you want, then I can accept that but don't back out because you think I'm not ready or that you're taking advantage of me."

"It's not about what I want," he said, his dark eyes intense. "It's about what you need."

"I need you."

"And I'm here for you, I'll always be there for you. But you're still recovering from everything you went through, Sam. This isn't the right time to-"

She put her fingers on his lips to stop him and shook her head. "I know what I want and what I need."

He smiled sadly and caught her fingers with his hand. "But it's okay to not be ready yet. There's no rush. I know you'll get there, but it's going to take time. Kissing you when you were emotionally vulnerable-"

"But I wasn't," she countered. "I was ready… it had just been a long time since someone kissed me and even longer since it wasn't in a malicious way."

"I shouldn't have pushed."

Sam grabbed his head and forced him to look at her, "Did you ever consider that maybe you weren't pushing me but that I was holding back?"

Frowning, he stared at her. "You have every right to hold back, Sam."

"I'm not some fragile girl who doesn't know what she wants," she said. "I went through a lot of stuff off-world and no, I haven't worked through all of it yet. But I'm back on Earth now. I'm here, with you. I want you."