Chapter 36: Discoveries

Rumplestiltskin returned to find Belle sitting in the middle of the library with a barricade of books surrounding her. Raising an eyebrow, he cleared his throat and caused Belle to jump and glance up at him. He said nothing, instead simply staring at her in amusement. Belle blushed and glanced around her sheepishly.

"I couldn't pick."

"So I gathered."

She ducked her head, feeling silly, then stood and carefully stepped over the pile of books to reach her husband. They kept a respectable distance, still hesitant even after the progress they'd made.

"Did your deal go well?"

Rumplestiltskin shrugged. "As well as they usually do."

"How do they usually go?" She asked.

Rumplestiltskin moved over to the window seat and sank down heavily. "Someone wants to make a deal, claim they'll do anything, and agree to my terms. Then when the time comes to collect, they claim I've taken advantage of them." He huffed in annoyance, "It's not my problem they don't read the damn contract I have them sign."

"You make people sign contracts?" She asked, face brightening with interest. Rumplestiltskin gave her a dry look.

"Out of all that, that's the part you fixate on?"

Belle flushed, "I just…find it interesting. It's what Papa used to do, remember?"

Rumple did remember. It was part of the inspiration behind his own decision to include a written agreement in his deals. Maurice had helped many people in his time, and a small part of Rumplestiltskin wanted to do the same. He had laws of magic to abide by however, and he couldn't guarantee the other person always got the better end of the deal.

"Do they read the contract? When you give it to them?"

Laughing, Rumplestiltskin slumped down in the seat further. "You'd think they would, my clever wife. But no. I'm dealing with…desperate souls," he said, reflecting on what Zoso had said to him that fateful night. "They don't care about the price. They want the solution. They make deals they don't understand."

"Sounds like it's an endless, vicious cycle," Belle mumbled, "Does everyone you deal with end up unhappy?"

"Not… everyone," Rumplestiltskin admitted slowly, "But outside these walls, I'm not exactly known for my generosity."

"But you were like them once," Belle argued, "Desperate. Surely you could be a little generous."

A harsh reply was on the tip of his tongue, but Rumple held back. Belle was right, and there was no need to lash out at her when she was only reminding him of the path that had led them here. He'd been desperate, and he could be generous. But he had no intentions of spending the rest of his life as a magical deal-maker. He'd taken the powers to save his son, and he'd lost sight of himself along the way. Once Baelfire was in his arms once more, he'd abandon magic for good. This was a means to an end, and he couldn't help it if others had to endure a little inconvenience for him to reach his goal.

"It's not that simple, Belle," he sighed at last. "These people want me to change their lives. They want me to alter their entire existence, and I'm supposed to just take a few coins or a pat on the back? All magic comes with a price," he said pointedly, "And I - we - have paid the greatest price of all for it. I'm only making sure the deeds I do to help are paid for. Even if I wanted to, I can't do this for nothing. Magic doesn't work that way."

"So everything you do costs you?"

"Yes."

Belle frowned, "Then we shouldn't waste it. Trivial things can be done without magic. I'll heat my own water from now on. And light the fire. I don't want you to pay for silly things."

"Ensuring my wife is well cared for is hardly silly," Rumple replied tersely. "And at any rate, heating water is such a trivial thing. It hardly costs anything." Stretching out his hand, Rumple beckoned Belle to him. "Please let me give you a good life while we're here," he begged, "I've messed up so much, but as I try to fix it, let me at least ensure you're taken care of."

He could see her internally debating his offer. He knew she was wary – she had every right to be – but he couldn't be with her at all times to make certain she was all right. He was on a mission, and he needed the comfort of knowing Belle was okay.

"All right," she nodded at length. "Warm water and a fire in the hearth." She furrowed her brows and lightly tapped him on the nose, "But that's all."

It was as good an acceptance as he could hope for, so he took it. Standing, he smiled softly at her, letting his fingers intertwine with hers. "I have things to do," he said softly, "And I'm sure you'd like to decide on a book."

Belle nodded and stepped aside, feeling a shiver of longing as his hand slipped from hers. She wanted to ask him to stay, but remained silent. When he was gone, she sank to her knees and picked up a book, flipping through it idly. It was a happy tale, she noticed when she accidentally flipped to the end and read the last paragraph. That decided it for her, and she moved to the chaise with the book in hand. She needed a happy tale. Her own seemed destined to bring nothing but pain and sorrow, and Belle wondered if her story with Rumplestiltskin would ever find a happy end. She hoped it would, but she pushed that thought aside. There was a long way to go before they could be happy again, and Belle didn't even know where to start the process.

~000~

Rumplestiltskin entered his workroom with a heavy sigh. He and Belle were on speaking terms again, for which he was grateful, but something in him couldn't help but anticipate the moment things fell apart again. Thinking back through the course of their lives together, Rumple could hardly think of a moment of a moment of happiness that wasn't almost immediately overturned by some hardship. They'd been teased and shunned by the village once their betrothal had been revealed. Their marriage had been short lived before he'd been swept off to war. News of his impending fatherhood was shattered by a hammer to the leg.

His power had been corrupted by the death of Maurice, the loss of Bae, and his falling out with Belle. Nothing had turned out right, and now that things seemed to be getting to a place of tolerance between them, he feared he was just going to mess up again.

Pulling out the parchment from his pocket, Rumplestiltskin sighed. Belle would never be able to forgive him for this, he knew, but it was the only way to get to Bae. He could hear her now, declaring passionately that one life did not warrant sacrificing for another, even if the life being saved was her son.

But he wouldn't be ruining one life if he went through with his plan. Multiple lives would be affected. He'd had several visions, something he wished more than anything to cease, and they all pointed to the same solution. The name on the parchment was his only guaranteed way of reaching the land without magic, and yet he couldn't bring himself to be excited. Because he knew that, once again, he was taking a risk. Would his son forgive him for his method of finding him? Of course not. He could barely stand the thought of it himself. But what choice did he have?

Sitting down heavily on the work bench, Rumple lowered his head onto the table and shut his eyes. He was exhausted. He hadn't slept in some time, and it seemed that the magic he was burning to keep himself awake and alert was running dry. He would have to sleep soon, he knew. He hoped that when he finally did give into the need, Belle would be next to him. He was so tired of sleeping alone.

With a resigned sigh, Rumple sat back up, his body feeling heavy. He moved to one of the bookshelves where his journals were stored and pulled out one of the later ones. He flipped through until he found what he was looking for. He glanced at the parchment in his hand, then back at the page. Sure enough, the names matched, and in his scribbled handwriting was the name…

Regina ?

There were arrows out from her name, one pointing to the name Snow and the other to Cora.

Ah, Rumple thought. He had vague memories of a young woman being trained by his predecessor, but it seemed the memories had been suppressed somewhat deeply. He hadn't been able to reveal anything else when he'd been writing down all the memories of the Dark One, and now that he recognized this one name, he was beginning to understand why. He could feel a sensation of hurt and betrayal, and assumed that things had not ended well between master and student. It seemed the student, Cora, had gone on to have a daughter: the recently widowed Queen Regina, whose step-daughter was the widely-loved Princess Snow White. She's been quite unhappily married too, if the rumors his client had told him were anything to go by.

Rumple moved over to a mirror in the corner of the room. In his experiments, he'd discovered the power of mirrors and their ability to see into other places. He'd never dared use the ability before, believing his wife's privacy was of the utmost importance and not thinking anyone else worthy of his notice. He waved his hand, activating the mirror, and watched as the mirror began to ripple like waves. When it cleared, there was a vision of a woman in all white, her dark hair long and free falling about her waist. She was lovely, perhaps a bit younger than Belle.

Whereas Belle's eyes were warm and welcoming, Regina's eyes were cold, dark, and full of an anger Rumple knew too well. She was bitter and angry at the world for the hand she'd been dealt, it seemed. But despite that anger, the woman in the mirror was smiling viciously, and Rumple watched with shock and awe as she banished a man – apparently her lover – into a mirror. He couldn't hear them speak, but he could sense the darkness that radiated off her in waves.

Covering the mirror, Rumple sank down to the floor. He was going to do this. He'd found someone whose anger and bitterness reached far deeper than his own, and he was going to use it. Belle would never forgive him, but that was irrelevant at this point. He was a desperate soul, but so was this Regina. He could see it in her eyes just as plainly as he could see the wickedness.

And he was going make the absolute best of it.

~000~

Belle's stomach growled and brought her out of her distraction. She glanced up, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the dim light. She'd been reading for several hours and only now realized that it was nearing dawn. Had she really read most of the night?

Standing, she stretched and decided to find Rumplestiltskin and see if he would like to join her for breakfast. Dinner had gone better than she had expected, and it gave her hope that maybe they could continue taking these small steps towards reconciliation.

Belle marked her place and left her library to search for Rumplestiltskin. She knew where his work room was, but she wasn't entirely sure where she was in relation to the library. She shrugged, figuring she'd find him before long and walked on. She rounded a corner and came to a hallway she wasn't familiar with. With a shrug she followed the path, stopping when she reached a door. It was cracked, and though Belle knew this wasn't Rumple's work room, she thought perhaps he might be inside. Pushing the door open carefully, Belle stepped inside. She had half expected to find her husband, but never had she expected what she found instead.

The room was large, bright, and filled with things. There was a bed in the corner, as fine and comfortable as Belle's own bed. There was a desk furnished with ink and quill and parchment, as well as several books. The walls were lined with shelves, filled with more books and toys and other items. In the corner opposite of the bed stood a wardrobe. There were blocks and a large ball on the floor, and a wooden sword that lay abandoned on one of the shelves. It was the most cheerful and pleasant room she'd ever seen.

It was perfect for a teenage boy.

Belle stared around her in disbelief, mouth hanging open as she took in her surroundings. Almost numbly, she stepped toward the wardrobe and pulled it open. It was full of clothing, breeches and poet shirts and a thick woolen cloak. Belle pushed them aside, not entirely surprised when she laid eyes on clothing she recognized from her old life in the village. The realization hit her and had her collapsing to the ground with a cry:

This was Bae's room.

Rumple had prepared a room for Bae. She covered her mouth with her hand and began to sob. She reached out, pulling her son's shawl from the pile of clothing. Holding it close to her, she breathed deeply, the scent of her son filled her senses and offered her a strange comfort.

"Oh, Bae," Belle whispered against the shawl, her tears soaking the fabric as she wept, her pain was as fresh as when she'd first lost him.

Looking up, Belle noticed Rumple's old staff. The etchings that marked Bae's growth were there, and Belle reached out to let her fingers brush over the crudely cut indentions.

Why had Rumple not told her about this room? Belle wiped her eyes and nose on the sleeve of her dress and laughed brokenly. She knew why. Ever since Rumple had acquired magic, they'd been at odds. She

She'd been uncertain, confused, and angry at the man Rumplestiltskin had become. But it was clear, by the care put into this room that Rumplestiltskin had not changed quite as much as she once thought. There was a darkness there. That was certain. But something in her clicked and she realized with a start that no man who valued power over his family would ever take the time and care to prepare such a room for his child.

And it wasn't just the large room and the fine toys. Rumple had kept the things from their past. This wasn't about power and magic. He wanted his son. He regretted his actions and he was doing something about it.

Gripping the shawl, Belle moved to the bed and sat, reflecting over that fateful night, and it occurred to her that she'd never once asked Rumple what had been going through in his mind when it all happened. In every discussion, every fight they'd had since he became the Dark One, she'd question his decisions, but she'd never bothered to understand why he was doing those things. She knew he did it all to protect Bae, but in all that time she'd never taken the time to ask him why he was protecting his son. What was he protecting him from?

In that moment, Belle understood. She understood that in many ways, she didn't understand Rumplestiltskin at all. It was a grievous error on her part, and suddenly, Belle knew exactly where the road to forgiveness began.

With understanding.

Resolute and alight with hope, Belle ran out of her son's room. She needed to find Rumplestiltskin and do something she hadn't done in a long time: listen.

Author's Notes:

I'm sorry for the wait. But the move was successful! We've been busy organizing and getting things in order at the house. This week we are going to start tearing down wallpaper (thank God!).

Again, it'll be this way from here on out, most likely, with chapters potentially not being up until Saturday or Sunday. But I aim to still post a chapter every week.

A bit of info on the Regina and Cora situation: Cora's back story is relatively the same. However, there are two important things I want to point out:

1. There will be no Zelena (this was written before she was introduced and so I'm not going to include her at all.)

2. Cora's relationship with the Dark One still happened, but it wasn't with Rumplestiltskin specifically. He has the memories of it though.

With that being said, Regina's path to Evil Queen-hood is a little different as well, but I'm not going to say much else on that front because I don't want to give anything away.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you everyone for your support. I'm so pleased you enjoy this fic!

Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time. All familiar characters belong to ABC, Adam Horowitz, and Eddy Kitsis.