A/N: Today I was thrilled to find out that Calendar Guys has been nominated for Fic of the Week again by The Lemonade Stand (thanks Evil Nat!). I was wondering where the flurry of new readers had come from. Please vote for it at www. tehlemonadestand. blogspot. com. Thanks in advance!

Chapter 26

Bella stared at the screen of her phone, as if looking at it long enough would cause it to magically make the decision for her. Hey Siri, should I cancel my date with Jacob?

She barely remembered making the journey back to her apartment after she'd watched Edward walk away. Her mind was such a tangled mess she couldn't unravel it long enough to focus on something as mundane as where she was going. Instead, autopilot had kicked in and she was now home debating whether to call things off with Jacob this evening. On the one hand, she wanted to cancel their dinner plans and throw herself on Edward's mercy with a grovelling apology. On the other, she didn't want to hurt Jacob's feelings by pulling out at the last minute without a decent explanation. She'd already hurt one person today, and that was more than enough.

It had crossed her mind to call Alice or Rosalie and ask for their help, but she quickly quashed that idea. It was partly Alice's fault she was going on this date in the first place, and she knew Rosalie would try to convince her to go. She felt it was finally time she started thinking for herself and to stop taking misguided advice from her friends. God knows it hadn't done her any good so far. Besides, the girls were both wrapped up in the first flush of romance with Jasper and Emmett – she didn't want to keep dragging them down with her relationship problems. She'd been so self-centred over the past few months; it was time to start putting other people first.

Maybe she could tell Jacob she was sick. No, that wouldn't work, she thought. He'll only ask to reschedule the date for another day. The problem will just be postponed. Maybe she should tell him she has feelings for someone else. Does he really need to know that? Why hurt him for no reason?

She looked over at the pretty jade green dress Alice had picked out for her, which was hanging outside her closet ready to wear, and sighed. She was thinking about this all wrong. It wasn't Jacob she should be worrying about. It was Edward. She unlocked the screen of her phone and dialled his number. The phone rang until it reached Edward's voicemail. A tear escaped her left eye at the sound of his voice on the recorded message. He sounded his usual, happy self. So different than the heart-wrenching tone of his last sentence to her. What had she done? "Edward, it's me." A pause as she fought to find the words. They wouldn't come. "Edward, I know you probably don't want to speak to me right now, but we need to talk. Please call me." She hung up as a sob rose in her throat like a hard lump.

A vision danced across her mind; a memory from her childhood. Her mom driving, with her in the passenger seat. The car stereo turned up to full volume. Mom singing along to Joni Mitchell out of key, tapping her hands on the steering wheel in time with the music. Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone… Funny, Bella had always thought of it as a happy song when she was younger. She'd never really listened to the lyrics. Now she couldn't think of anything more heartbreaking. Tears rolled unchecked down her cheeks. She'd really blown it.

She went to dial Jacob's number next but hesitated, her finger hovering over his number in her contacts list. She knew she couldn't go through with it. Whatever needed to be said, she should tell it to his face. She pulled down the green dress from its hanger and started to get ready for her date.

oOoOo

"And so that's why you should never go cliff diving," laughed Jacob, as the waiter cleared away their plates. Bella's dish of mushroom ravoli was almost untouched; she'd completely lost her appetite. She looked up at Jacob blankly, suddenly aware he'd finished his story and that she was supposed to make the appropriate reaction. Laugh, sympathise, question him further – she had no idea which. Her mind was nothing but Edward Cullen.

"I'm sorry, Bella, am I boring you?" Jacob asked.

"Oh, er, no. No! That was a great story." She attempted a weak smile.

"Bella, tell me the truth. You look like you've been somewhere else all evening." She tried to think of a lie, couldn't. Jacob leaned back in his chair and looked down at the table. "So would you like dessert or should I just get the check?"

"I'm pretty tired, actually. Could we get out of here?"

"Sure, sure." Jacob called over the waiter and settled the bill.

"Well, thanks for a really nice evening, Jacob," said Bella, once they were outside the restaurant.

"Hey, you're welcome, beautiful," replied Jacob, turning to Bella and leaning down to lock lips with hers. His mouth was hot and wet, and she found herself repulsed at his touch. She pushed him away in horror.

"Jacob, what are you doing?" she said, more harshly than she had intended.

"Whoa, Bella, I'm sorry," he apologised, holding his hands up and taking a step back. "I know it's pretty forward kissing a girl on the first date, but I assumed seen as though you've already seen me naked and technically slept with me that we could relax the rules a bit."

Bella put her face in her hands and dragged them down her face in despair. She was going to have to come clean. She'd come on this date to spare Jacob's feelings but she needed to be honest with him and let him know it was going no further. "Jacob, tonight's been great, but I think it would be better if we part as friends and nothing more."

Jacob grinned wryly and shook his head. "You know, when Alice agreed for you to come on this date with me, I was worried you didn't really want to."

Bella sighed, uncomfortably. She'd been busted. "Jacob, I'm sorry…"

"Save it, Bella. 'You're a really nice guy, but… blah, blah, blah.' I've heard every excuse in the book." He folded his muscular arms across his chest. "So what is it? You're just getting through a difficult break-up? I'm too young for you? No, I know – there's someone else you like." Bella's eyes flashed before she could stop herself. "Oh, so that's it."

"Jacob, it's… I shouldn't have agreed to a date. My feelings are all over the place at the moment and I just didn't know what was going on. I'm not sure that I even do now. But I shouldn't have dragged you into all this. I'm sorry, really I am."

"Is it that guy from the shoot? Edward?"

"How did you- ?" Bella was stunned at his intuitiveness. It had taken her until today to properly realise Edward's feelings for her, and hers for him – yet a complete stranger had spotted them immediately.

"Well, for starters, he didn't take his eyes off you all day. And he certainly didn't like me flirting with you. It was pretty obvious he likes you." Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Liked me," corrected Bella, bitterly. "I kind of messed things up with him today. I, uh, told him I was coming on a date with you." She felt her stomach sink at the memory.

Jacob remained silent. Bella could see his broad chest rising up and down as he breathed deeply in and out. She wondered if he was trying to keep himself calm. He went to say something, thought better of it and closed his mouth, only to speak a few seconds later. "Bella, I'd really like this to be like one of those romantic comedies, where I turn out to be one of those nice guys who does the right thing and tells you to go get your dream guy. Like, this was all a big misunderstanding and we'll laugh about it someday. And you and Edward will patch things up, and then I'll turn up in the final scene with a new girlfriend and we'll all be friends and live happily ever after. But that's not going to happen." Bella winced. "In fact, I'm really pissed off, Bella. If you didn't want to come on this date with me, you should have had the decency to let me know beforehand."

"Jacob, I'm sorry. I was trying to do the right thing. I wanted to tell you to your face instead of over the phone." Bella pulled her jacket closer around her as the cold night air sliced through the thin fabric of her dress.

"Oh, yeah? Or did you just want to get a free meal out of me first?"

"What? No!" Bella was getting angry herself now. She knew she was making a total mess of things again, but she genuinely had been trying to do the right thing.

"Look, just forget it, okay?" scowled Jacob, hailing her a cab. He held open the car door for Bella and slammed it shut a little harder than was necessary after she'd gotten into the back seat. She watched him skulk off into the night through a veil of tears. How many other people was she going to hurt before this was over?

She pulled out her phone and tried Edward again. She'd lost count of the number of voicemails she'd left him. Even during the date, she'd excused herself to go to the bathroom a couple of time so she could call him. He had never answered. She listened to his recorded message, which she knew by heart at this stage, and waited for the beep. "Edward, please call me. I want to apologise to you and there's some things I need to say but I don't want to tell it to your voicemail. Just call me back, okay."

She slumped her head against the car window and watched the streetlights pass by in a blur. What was the point in trying to call Edward again? If he hadn't answered his phone by now, he never would. She had to think of another way to apologise. And she wouldn't give up until she did.