Chapter 37: The Valley

Belle ran through the hallway and down the stairs, moving blindly until she reached the great hall. Through the open curtains the dawning sun streamed in, soaking the whole room in light and warmth. At the table stood Rumplestiltskin, who was pouring himself a cup of tea. He looked up to see Belle as she stood in the doorway, and arched a brow curiously at her frantic state.

Then he noticed the shawl in her hands, and the tea cup slipped from his fingers. It shattered at his feet, tea soaking into the carpet. He stepped over the mess without comment, and moved toward Belle slowly. She met him halfway, flinging her arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder.

He held her close, running his hands up and down her back soothingly. Belle pulled away then and let one hand trail down his cheek. "Rumple," she said through her tears. Rumplestiltskin moved her other hand away from him, clutching it through the shawl.

"He should be here," Rumple said softly, "He should be in that room."

"Why did you never show me?" Belle asked, staring at the shawl in their hands.

With a shrug, Rumple pulled Belle toward the couch near the hearth on the other end of the room. "I didn't know if you would want to see it," he said, "I feared it would bring you too much pain."

Belle nodded in understanding. "It did bring me pain," she admitted, "But it made me realize something, too."

"What?"

They seated themselves on the couch and Belle turned so her legs were tucked underneath her. "That I've been incredibly selfish."

"Belle-"

"No, Rumple," she interrupted, holding up her other hand to silence her husband, "I've blamed you for our loss this entire time. I've been so angry, but not once have I ever taken a moment to ask you what happened. Not once have I listened to you." She lowered her hand so that both were holding his through the shawl.

"But I'm ready to listen," she finished, "As I should have a long time ago."

"I'll tell you whatever you wish to know," Rumple replied earnestly.

Belle nodded. "What happened that night?"

"To tell you that, we must go back further," Rumple said. With another encouraging nod from Belle, Rumple began.

"It all starts with my father, Malcolm. He was a con man," Rumple said with distaste, "He played everyone for a fool, but no one more than myself." Rumple chuckled bitterly, "I was a fool to have ever trusted that man."

Belle reached out to touch Rumple's arm reassuringly. "What happened?"

"I had a magic bean," Rumple said, his anger apparent, "And my father took it. He promised me a second chance for happiness. Together. We used the bean and went through a green portal."

Images flashed in Belle's mind of the portal Bae had gone through. It was beginning to make sense, but Belle waited, knowing that this tale would only get worse. But she needed to hear it from Rumple. She needed to know what had brought them to this place.

"But," Rumple said, drawing her attention back to him, "That wasn't enough for my father. He didn't want a second chance with me. He wanted freedom."

"From what?"

"From me."

Belle gasped, her hand lifting to cover her mouth. "Rumple…"

He kept going, unable to stop. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he ignored them. "I was ripped away from my father by his own desire," Rumple spat, "I realized then that I was unwanted and unloved. He saw me as a burden and nothing more."

"So when you saw the portal with Bae," Belle trailed off, knowing exactly what her husband would say.

"I was reminded of the last time I went through a portal with the intent of a second chance."

'You were afraid," Belle supplied.

Rumple nodded, "I was petrified. I realized- too late - I was turning into my father. I was abandoning my so the way Malcolm abandoned me."

Belle reached up slowly and cupped Rumple's face in her hands. "But that isn't the case."

"You thought it was," Rumple accused, though there was no malice in his voice. Belle looked away in shame. She had blamed him for so long, never once taking a moment to consider why he had been reluctant to go through the portal. If Rumple was known for one thing, it was keeping his word. Had Bae found another way, Belle believed Rumple would have followed through on his promise.

"I did. Can you ever forgive me?"

"You've done nothing to warrant forgiveness," Rumple declared with a shake of his head, "It is I who should fall at your feet and beg."

Belle shook her head. "We've both made mistakes. We both need forgiveness."

Rumple nodded silently, his anguish apparent in his face. It was clear he'd lived with this guilt for too long. And she had done nothing to ease that pain. If anything, Belle thought, she'd only added to it. No more, she decided. This ended now.

Belle let her hands fall to rest in his lap where the shawl lay and after a moment Rumplestiltskin began to trace his fingers over hers.

"Why did you not tell me this sooner?" Belle asked softly. Rumple shrugged once more.

"I didn't think you cared."

"I'm so sorry, Rumple," she repeated, "I should never have let you bear this burden, this guilt, alone."

Rumple sighed, then looked up to meet Belle's eyes. "Oh, Belle," he whispered, "For as long as I can recall, I've been walking through a valley. Filled with nothing but shadows and darkness and death. I'm surrounded by it. It's followed me for so long."

He shifted forward, and took her face between his hands. "But then you came into my life, and your light began to chase away the darkness. I was no longer alone."

Tears slid down Belle's cheeks, falling over Rumple's fingers as he held her. She breathed his name, and Rumple continued.

"But then….I saw the coldness in your eyes that night. You were so angry. I was convinced you would leave me. Part of me hoped you would, if only so I could stop waiting for it to happen. No one else wanted me, why should you?"

"I do want you, Rumple," Belle cried, "Please believe that."

Rumple laughed, his own tears falling onto Bae's shawl. "Without you I am nothing. I need you Belle. I cannot bear this burden alone anymore. All this power, and yet I am so utterly weak," he said bitterly, "So weak. But you make me strong, Belle. I can do anything, if only you'll promise to walk this path with me. Please don't leave me in the darkness anymore."

He bent over, his head resting on her lap as he wept. Belle could barely comfort him, her own body wracked with grievous sobs. She ran her hand through his hair, the motion soothing to both of them. Her husband was so broken, so sorrowful, and she'd had no idea of the depth of his pain. His entire life had been nothing but despair, and when he'd needed her the most, when he'd been so consumed by darkness and grief, she'd turned her back on him and only focused on her own pain.

It may have been his doing: he may have brought them to this valley, but she would not leave them here. They would get out, whatever it took. Belle was certain of that now, and she forced herself to calm down. Her husband needed her, and she'd been selfish for long enough. Bending over, she pressed a kiss to Rumple's head and whispered his name. He lifted his gaze to her when she sat back, and she offered him her best smile.

"I go where you go," she whispered, "I will walk with you, until I can walk no longer."

"And then I'll carry you," he swore, and she believed him.

"Only if you let me carry you as well," she countered and he knew there was no room to argue. He did not want to. They'd been at odds for so long, and this newfound, fragile peace they'd created between them was something he was not going to destroy. He was tired of destruction. He was ready to mend.

"I'll carry you and you'll carry me," he agreed in relief, "And somehow, we'll make it. We'll survive. We'll find Bae."

She nodded her head and it was settled.

"Deal."

Her choice of wording wasn't lost on him and he let a soft, bitter laugh escape him. "I won't stop until I've succeeded."

She nodded. "And I'll help. I want our son back," she said and Rumplestiltskin reached for her hand, desiring to comfort her. He had hoped to prolong the inevitable discussion of how they were going to find their son, but Belle had promised to go where he did. This would be a test to see if she were true to her word.

"About that," Rumplestiltskin whispered, knowing if he didn't confess it all now, he'd lose the desperate courage that had fueled his earlier confession and not tell her. But Belle needed – deserved to know. She wasn't going to like it, but their options were….nonexistent. He only hoped she would understand. And someone, despite the horrid nature of what he was to do, he knew she would.

"What?" Belle asked.

Taking a breath, Rumple explained everything. He told her about his search for a way to the other world and about the curse he'd found. He told her how it was activated – and quickly explained that he would not be the one to cast it. He told her about the memories he'd explored, and the woman he'd learned of who seemed to be the key to it all.

When he was finished, all Belle did was sigh. She sat for a long while, playing with the edge of Bae's shawl. Her brow was creased in concentration, and Rumple knew she was allowing everything he'd told her sink in. It was a lot to hear, to understand, and certainly a lot to accept. But Rumple's faith in Belle didn't waver.

Eventually, she lifted her eyes to him. "Is there really no other way?"

Rumplestiltskin shook his head. "No way that I have found. Though I admit once I discovered the curse, I began focusing solely on it. This Regina may be our only chance. I have to try."

Belle reached out and squeezed his hand, resigning herself to the fact. "I don't like this," she whispered at last, her voice weak. "It isn't right. Why should others suffer because of what we did?"

"It's not ideal," Rumple admitted, "But it's our only chance."

Belle sighed once more. "It's wrong. It's so horribly wrong." She blinked, then looked at Rumple hesitantly, "But, Bae." She faltered, then added, "If there's truly no other way, then….I…."

"You don't have to like it," Rumple whispered gently, "I don't expect you to condone my actions in this." He lifted his hand to play with her hair. "You didn't want me to take the dagger in the first place, but I did. And look where it got us. Just as that was my doing, so this will be too. If you don't want to be a part of it, I won't hold that against you. But I don't know what else to do, Belle."

Belle looked down, deep in thought. After a moment, she glanced at her husband and her eyes, once dark with despair, were suddenly alight with fire. "You're not going to cast it."

"What?"

Belle shook her head. "You're not going to cast it because I'm going to find another way."

Rumple stared at her disbelievingly and Belle explained, "You said you stopped looking once you found the curse. Maybe there are other, unknown ways. I don't know anything about magic, but I know how to read. Maybe I can do research while you…work. If there's another way, surely it's in one of your books."

"I think that would be wonderful," Rumplestiltskin said, amazed. And it was. He could focus on the task of orchestrating this curse, but Belle could look for alternate routes. If she found one, then they would use it. If not, they still had the curse. Regardless, they were going to find their son. And they were going to do it together.

"Then it's settled," she said with a smile. "I'll find another way."

He believed she would.

"You never cease to amaze me, sweetheart."

Belle smiled, her heart feeling lighter than it had in a long while. There was still pain between them, and it would take more than one tear-filled conversation to fix everything that had happened. Their wounds ran deep, and would need time to heal. But Belle was hopeful. She was no longer isolated and angry. She was filled with understanding, and now looked upon her husband in a new light. He had suffered so much, and yet had always been so kind. He'd treated her with such love, it was hard to believe he had lacked it as a boy.

But then the power of the Dark One had come along, and changed him. But even through the murder of her father's killers, the overzealous desire to protect Bae, and the madness that had consumed him, Belle still saw the same gentle soul that had bashfully offered her tokens of affection and a lifetime of love. Despite the changes, the years, and the heartache, her husband sat before her, and Belle felt her love for Rumplestiltskin manifest and consume her.

Dark and light, she thought, he's mine and I love all of him.

She caught his face in her hands, surprising him by the sudden action. He looked at her with wild eyes, curious as to what she was going to do. She hardly knew herself; only knew there was an overwhelming desire to kiss him, and she gave into the urge, pulling his head down so that her lips could press hard against his.

She felt him gasp against her, then she was swept up in his arms, being kissed soundly. A warmth surrounded her, and she pulled back slightly so that she could whisper her love to him. Opening her eyes, she went to speak, but cried out in surprise instead.

Opening his own eyes, Rumple looked at her dazed. "What's happening?" He asked and Belle struggled in his arms to move away from him. His face was no longer the same gold-green that distinguished him as the Dark One. His skin was tanned - normal, like her own. After a moment, Rumple groaned and shook his head, the odd color returning and restoring him to his usual state.

"What was that?" Belle asked.

Rumple rubbed his temples and glanced up at her. "I've no idea. I feel so strange. As if my magic was being sucked from me."

Belle leaned forward to rub his back. "Are you going to be all right?"

Rumple nodded. "Yes, I think so. Though I'm a little dizzy."

"I don't understand," Belle said, "I merely kissed you. You were fine until that moment, weren't you?"

"Yes," Rumple said, "I was-"

He paused, his eyes shooting up to meet Belle's. "Wait here."

He disappeared in a puff of smoke, only to reappear a few moments later with a book in his hand. He flipped through it, and Belle recognized the book as one of the journals Rumple had created. He stopped at a page near the back and read for a moment. Then he glanced at Belle again.

"You kissed me," Rumple said plainly. Belle nodded.

"Yes, and you started to act stra-"

She was cut off by Rumple throwing the book down and pulling her into his arms. He hugged her so tightly it was almost painful, and Belle felt him shake with relieved laughter as he spun her around joyously.

Getting dizzy, Belle pushed at him and he stopped, gently setting her back on the floor. The room spun; the only thing that seemed stable was Rumple, so she focused on him. When she no longer felt she may stumble over she said, "Care to share the discovery?"

He still held her, hands gripping her tightly about the waist. The grin on his face was wide and stupid and he looked like he may go mad with happiness.

"You love me," he breathed and Belle tilted her head in confusion.

"What? Of course I do," she protested but he cut her off, hugging her to his chest again as he began to cry. "You don't understand," he whispered, his lips against her hair, "There are only two ways to break the curse of the Dark One. The dagger, as you know, and something called True Love's Kiss."

Belle's eyes widened and she asked, her voice muffled by his shoulder, "Is that what that was?" He nodded, moving her so she stood at arm's length from him.

"Yes, it was," he said. "Oh, Belle. Thank you!" He hugged her to him again, leaving Belle to try to wrap her mind around what was happening. Wasn't breaking his curse a bad thing?

"I don't understand," she finally admitted. "Isn't this bad? Knowing my kiss could break your curse and then all this would be for nothing?"

He shook his head wildly. "You don't understand," he said with a flourishing wave of his hand, "Belle, you love me." He sighed and looked at her as if he were the happiest man in the world. Perhaps he was. "True Love is the most powerful magic there is, Belle. It's stronger than anything. And you've given it to me." His smile softened to a solemn expression.

"I'd long since given up hope that you could ever love me again."

Belle's mouth fell open, the shock of his words hitting her hard. "Oh, Rumple," she cried, reaching for him frantically. "I never stopped. I was angry, yes. Furious. But I never stopped loving you."

He let out a broken and weary sob and took her into his arms. She went willingly, clutching at him in desperation.

"But you accept me," he insisted, "Love is many things, Belle, one of them being acceptance. You finally accept me. All of me."

Pulling away, Belle regarded him carefully. She thought back to when he'd first become the Dark One, and how she'd fought him at every turn. It was true she didn't relish his being a powerful sorcerer, but instead of resenting him his magic, she now considered it a part of him. Where once she would have given anything to see her husband restored to the man she was, now she loved him as he appeared before her. Perhaps he was right. She had always loved him, but it was only now that she finally knew him that she fully felt the extent of her love.

She brushed her fingers over his face, the texture of his skin strange but pleasant. "I do," she agreed with a beaming smile. "I love you, Rumplestiltskin."

"Oh, Belle," he whispered, "I love you. I love you more than I can possibly say. I love you. I love you."

Belle lifted her head to kiss him again, but he pressed a finger to her lips. "But we're going to have to figure out a way to keep you from breaking my curse." He smirked at her, leaning close to whisper in her ear, "Because I fully intend to start kissing you again."

Author's Notes:

This is the chapter. This was the very first scene I thought of when the idea for The Valley came to mind. It's my favorite chapter. (We're not done, don't worry. I just wanted to share how much this chapter means to me.)

The inspiration for the name of this chapter, and the name of the story as a whole came from two sources: The first came from the Album "The Valley" by Eisley. I was listening to this album (and specifically the title song "The Valley") when I first had this idea. The second inspiration came from Psalms 23, "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me." I envision Rumple as a lost soul, walking through a valley of darkness, but when Belle enters his life, she brings the light he needs to no longer fear the evil that surrounds him. So, that's where the title of the story came from.

I highly recommend listening to "The Valley." The song doesn't really fit the story, but whenever I have writer's block, I put that album on repeat and usually it helps.

We still have a ways to go. I just finished writing chapter 45 and am currently working on 46. I think I can reach the end by 50. But we'll see.

As always, thank you so much for your kind words. I don't reply, but I do read every single review and they never fail to make my day better. So thank you for sticking with me through this journey. I am truly grateful.

Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time. All rights belong to ABC, Adam Horowitz, and Eddy Kitsis.