Garden of the Gods
Colorado Springs, CO
January 8, 2000

The wind had picked up and Sam shivered at the cold gust. Temperatures were just above freezing but she'd always been prone to feeling cold, even more so after losing a lot of weight off-world. Up in the mountains it was even colder and she was starting to regret wearing her new winter coat over just a sweater of Jack's and a pair of jeans. There was an added benefit to foregoing her gloves though…

Inching a little closer to Jack, she reached for his hand and a whole different kind of shiver ran down her back when his callused palm slid over hers as he entwined their fingers. The man was like a furnace and she welcomed his body heat seeping into her through her coat when he tugged on her hand to pull her into his side. The dimpled smile he flashed her made her heart skip a beat.

"Are you cold?"

She wrapped her free hand around his arm to keep him as close as possible and smiled up at him, shaking her head. "Not anymore."

"No wonder Bra'tac rarely took you to cold planets," he teased.

"Must be your Minnesotan roots."

He chuckled and leaned a little closer, "Actually, I was born in Chicago."

Sam frowned, recalling what little he'd told her about himself at the cabin. "But your grandparents are from Minnesota?"

"They lived there for most of their lives, grandpa built the cabin himself," he said, shrugging. "I was practically raised there."

"Ah, so it's your upbringing then."

He glanced over to where their daughter was walking a few feet ahead of them and winked, "Guess that means there's still hope for Ife."

Watching their little girl, all bundled up, walking along the trail, oohing and aahing every now and then at something made Sam smile. "Oh, she's rarely cold. Must get that from you. I used to wonder about that…"

"Yeah?"

His hopeful smile tore at her heart and she pressed herself a little closer to him, "All the time."

"Charlie was like that, too. He loved being outdoors and it used to drive Sara crazy when he just ran outside without putting a coat on, even when it was snowing or freezing."

"I'm just glad Ife's finally at the stage in which she keeps her clothes on indoors. Guess she's gotten used to Earth clothing. And look, she's still wearing her hat, too."

Jack followed her line of sight. "Still a big no on the footwear though."

They'd gotten her new boots for the cold weather but Ife kept trying to squirm out of them, even working her way up to a temper tantrum earlier that day when Jack had tried to put them on her feet. "She likes her leather booties."

"She'll grow out of them eventually."

"Maybe that's a good thing. Once they become too small she might think normal shoes or boots are more comfortable. I have to say, going back to regular footwear was an adjustment for me, too. The pair of sandals I got at an off-world market were practically custom made and fit me perfectly."

He shrugged and made a noncommittal sound as he watched Ife. "As long as her feet stay dry and warm, I suppose."

Sam smiled and leaned into him a little closer, letting her gaze take in their surroundings. The park was lovely and it warmed her heart to see their daughter in her element. It was no wonder, really, considering the lives they'd had before she'd brought Ife to Earth. They'd basically lived outdoors and the fresh, clean air and wild nature sort of felt like home to Sam, too. Oddly enough, the life she'd had in Washington DC didn't appeal to her at all anymore. "I love it out here."

"It's a nice change of scenery from the base."

"There certainly aren't views like this at the SGC," she said, stopping to look out at the snow-topped mountains. They'd followed one of the trails in the smaller mountains, not wanting to make it too hard on Ife – or themselves when she tired out and needed carrying – and Sam could already feel a mild burn in her calves. Their short hikes at the cabin didn't compare, especially not in combination with the terrain. The last time she'd covered such a distance hadn't been on Earth.

Jack simply bumped her shoulder with his as he stood next to her and smirked. "Glad you agreed to check it out?"

After mentioning that she'd felt a little cooped up, he'd made the suggestion to go out and at her wary reaction he'd suggested Garden of the Gods. Despite everything, the idea of being among a lot of other people – strangers – still didn't appeal to her. He understood, like he always seemed to do. "It was a great idea."

"Figured you and Ife would like it."

"Have you been here before?"

He sighed deeply, sorrow flitting across his face before he nodded briefly, "Yeah."

She hesitated but could practically feel the anguish radiating off him. "Charlie?"

"He loved coming out here," Jack said, staring out in the distance. "I used to take him hiking or mountain biking all the time when I was stateside. Sara called it our bonding time – and she was right, it was the only time I spent with just him in between missions. She'd bring him up here in the summer when I wasn't around, but he always said it wasn't the same because she wasn't into biking or hiking. But he liked the exhibits, too."

"So he was the outdoorsy type like his Dad?"

Jack smiled at that, but it was laced with a pain she couldn't even begin to imagine. "He'd become a Junior Ranger just a few weeks before he died."

Sam squeezed his hand in silent support, unsure of what she could possibly say to ease his hurt, and let her gaze land on their unsuspecting daughter. Ife had plucked some of the long grass and wildflowers and was alternatively chewing on them and brushing them against her face, a happy little smile on her face.

"Charlie kept asking me to take him rock climbing," he said, gesturing in the direction of the tall mountains. "I promised to teach him when he was older, because I thought it was too dangerous."

Her heart broke a little at his mirthless chuckle, the irony not lost on her. "Jack…"

He scrubbed a hand over his face and cleared his throat, looking at her earnestly. "Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"Don't ever apologize for talking about your son."

"Sam…" he frowned, trailing off.

She reached up slowly, pausing for a moment before gently running her fingers through his silver hair. He leaned into the gentle caress with a softness in his eyes that stole her breath away. She could feel the connection between them, intimate and strong, as they stood like that for what felt like an eternity. "Jack," she said, "Charlie is always going to be a part of you."

He closed his eyes, taking a shuddering breath. The grip on her hand tightened, but he didn't say anything.

"You've been there for Ife and me this whole time, but that goes both ways. I'm here for you, too," she added, running the back of her hand along his jaw as she pulled back.

Jack caught her hand and brushed her knuckles with his thumb, the corners of his mouth curling upwards. Then, he let go and cupped her face in both hands, pressing his lips to hers.

The kiss lasted only a few seconds, but the powerful emotions behind it left her unsteady on her feet. Her eyes had fallen closed and when she opened them, he was smirking and his eyes twinkled. After giving her another all-too brief kiss he leaned back and walked over to their daughter, a noticeable bounce in his step.

Sam couldn't help but chuckle as he went, even though her body was still feeling the effects of his kiss. She watched as he knelt next to Ife and took one of the flowers from her. He twirled the flower between his fingers with a little grin and then reached out and touched it to the end of her nose, making her giggle with delight, both at his antics and, Sam thought, at his smile.

He looked over his shoulder and caught her gaze, a lopsided grin on his handsome face. "You gonna come with us? We're getting hungry," he said, turning back to Ife. "Aren't we, munchkin?"

"Yes!" Ife smirked and rocked on the balls of her feet, flowers dangling from her hands. "Food, Daddy."

"There's a picnic area over there," Jack said, gesturing ahead.

Following his line of sight, Sam could just make out half a dozen picnic tables. The sun was out, the wind had died down and she was no longer cold. Perfect. She joined the two of them just as Jack effortlessly scooped Ife up into his arms. Smiling, she reached out to right Ife's woolly hat and took the pack Jack was carrying from him, to ease his burden. The pack contained lunch, drinks and some snacks, so it wasn't very heavy but she felt like doing something. Slipping her hand around his upper arm, she bumped his shoulder playfully. "Let's go."

Jack fell in step with her and slipped his free arm around her waist, resting just below the pack, while he held Ife on his hip with the other. "You feel like eating?"

"I can eat." The hike had worn Sam out a little and her stomach was rumbling already. Someone was using a propane grill over at the picnic area and the smell made her mouth water. She quickened her pace, eager to find a table for them to sit at. They might not have a grill or any burgers, but she'd made pes that morning and she hadn't eaten the loaf-thing since returning to Earth.

"Think those people over there are leaving," Jack said, after scanning the picnic area.

They bypassed a table in the shade – the only empty seats – and went straight for the one where an older couple appeared to be cleaning up their things. Jack put Ife on her own two feet when she started squirming in his hold and they watched as their daughter walked ahead of them in as determined a stride she could muster at her age.

Jack quirked a brow as the normally shy toddler stepped up to the picnic table and started climbing onto the empty seat. "Guess she's really hungry," he muttered.

The couple at the table chuckled at Ife's impatience. "We're almost done," the man, who had at least a decade on Jack, said as finished collecting their trash. "Your mommy and daddy can take our seats."

"Thank you," Sam said, smiling at the look on Jack's face. Ife had started calling him daddy pretty soon but aside from Mary, Joe, General Hammond and Doctor Fraiser they hadn't told anyone else about Ife's paternity yet.

"Have a lovely day," the woman said, before the couple walked off.

Jack sat down next to Ife and pulled her into his lap, smiling as Ife snuggled up against him. "I think the munchkin is getting tired," he told Sam.

From the looks of it, he was right. Not too surprising considering the long hike they'd had. After coming to Earth Ife had started walking more, since the need to carry her and keep her safe wasn't as dire as it had been off-world. Her leg muscles had been slightly underdeveloped for her age but Sam was hopeful that Ife's delay in physical development would be non-existent soon, considering how active Ife had become. An appointment with a specialized pediatrician – with clearance – was in two weeks, so they'd know how much of an improvement Ife had made soon enough. "I can carry her to the truck after lunch."

"Nah, I'll do it," he said, pressing a kiss to Ife's hair. "No offense, but you look a little tired yourself."

"I just need to rest my feet for a bit and eat something," Sam said, as she opened the pack.

Jack took the thermos from her and poured them both a cup of coffee while she unpacked the rest of their lunch. He broke off a piece of the loaf and handed it to Ife, who started munching right away. "What's this stuff called again?"

"Pes. It's somewhere between bread and cake, I think."

"Jaffa recipe?"

She nodded and gestured at their daughter. "It used to be her favorite meal, aside from the sweet fruits."

He smirked, "Can't blame her. It's cake!"

"She gets her sweet tooth from you."

"The kid's got your looks and probably your brain too," he countered, "it's only fair she gets some of my bad habits to balance things out."

O'Neill Residence
Colorado Springs, CO
January 9, 2000

Jack smiled as he locked gazes with Sam. Her blue eyes were watching him and while slightly darker from her dilated pupils, he could have sworn they were twinkling. The first time he laid eyes on her he thought she was beautiful but when she wore the grin that showed her dimples and made her eyes twinkle, she was utterly gorgeous. She'd been smiling more like that lately and it was mesmerizing, drawing him in. He traced her features with his eyes and reached out, following up with his fingers. Her skin was soft and warm, her flush deepening under his ministrations.

Unable to resist the temptation, he tipped up her chin and captured her lips with his in a slow, exploring kiss. He couldn't remember the last time he'd spent an evening just making out with a woman, probably sometime before he was legally an adult and the woman in question was, in fact, still a girl. And back then, he'd seen it as a means to an end. Not tonight. He and Sam had decided to take things slow; taking their time to explore what was between them.

He leaned in and kissed her again, eyes closed and all his senses focused on the feel and taste of her. Her full lips moved wetly along his unhurried and he felt a stab of longing in his gut when she pushed her tongue in his mouth. She tasted like the strawberries she'd snacked on while watching the now abandoned movie. His fingers twitched and he had to stop himself from pulling her even closer when she moaned, not wanting to spook or crowd her. Instead, he tangled his tongue with hers briefly before breaking off the kiss and taking a deep breath.

When he opened his eyes she was flushed, her lips swollen and her eyes nearly black with arousal. One of her hands had been in his hair and she pulled it back, sliding her hand along his jaw. She let it rest on his chest, just above his heart. "Jack," she said breathlessly.

Using his thumb, he brushed her lower lip. She was beautiful and he had to remind himself that he had no intention of taking this any further than making out. The taste of her was addictive though and being this close to her, touching, kissing, tasting was fueling his desires. He liked kissing her. Liked it a lot. Besides, he already knew they were pretty spectacular together in the bedroom, but the kissing and getting to know each other part they'd pretty much skipped back in DC.

"What?"

He realized he'd probably been staring at her for a little too long and smirked, "Nothin'."

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she rubbed her sock-clad feet against his bare ones, her toes dragging the leg of his pants up to his calves. "Well, if you're not going to tell me you might as well use your mouth for other purposes," she murmured, before bridging the inches separating them for another kiss.

The moment their lips touched he groaned, welcoming the feelings she elicited in him. The hand he had on her waist tightened but he didn't pull her closer. The rough fabric under his palm was a sharp contrast with the fluffy socks against his calves and the softness of her cheek. The sensations combined with her taste and the scent of her skin were almost too much. He nearly lost it when she shifted and her hip brushed against his erection, his fingers digging into her shirt and he thrust his tongue in her mouth while simultaneously pulling her closer with a hand at the back of her head.

"Jack." She broke off the kiss to grasp his hip as he moved his lower half away from her. "Stop."

"Shit," he hissed, biting his lip. He'd hoped she wouldn't notice or at least ignore his arousal like he did. "I'm sorry, Sam-"

Placing her free fingers on his lips she shushed him. "Don't apologize, either. I know you have no control over that kind of reaction."

He made a face, "Yeah, well, I don't want you to… feel pressured or anything. Just, ignore it."

"Jack, it's fine," she said, her blue eyes shining earnestly. "Honestly, it's perfectly normal. It's not, I don't know, freaking me out, if that's what you're worried about."

"We're taking things slowly," he reminded her, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear.

Sam smiled with a steely determination in her eyes that he recognized from the times they'd met off-world and it distracted him long enough for her to shift and push back against him. Her breath hitched while he barely contained a groan, his gaze drawn to her full lips. "Yeah," she said, her voice throaty, "slow. But there's no point denying… or avoiding… this."

His eyes fluttered closed when she moved again and he dropped his forehead to hers. Even the lightest brush felt exquisite and he let out a shuddering breath. Sam's breathing was equally unsteady and he hoped it was for the right reasons. Opening his eyes, he saw the unbridled lust on her face and had to look away, before he did something he would regret. "Sam…"

"Hmm?" She asked, dragging her gaze away from where their lower bodies were touching.

"You know this isn't…" He gently pushed her hips away from his and leaned up on his elbow, trying to create some space between them before he'd falter. He hadn't expected her to be so… forward, and while it was hot, it was also tearing at his self-restraint. Frowning, he waited until he had her full attention, making a vague gesture to encompass the living room, "I really meant for us to just watch a movie tonight. Relax a little…" Maybe some kissing, like the night before. But he didn't mention it, still convinced he should let her set the pace. "What I'm trying to say is that I hadn't planned any of… this."

She gave him a wicked grin as she traced the outline of dog tags underneath his shirt. "Maybe you didn't."

He did a double take at her whispered confession but her mouth was on his before he could utter a word. Instinct took over though and he was quick to respond, his tongue slipping between her parted lips to taste her again. The moment their tongues tangled together a bolt of desire shot straight to his groin and it took all his self-restraint to keep his hips impassive.

"Jack," Sam murmured, breaking off the kiss.

"Yeah?"

Her swollen lips curved into a smile when he traced them with his thumb and she waited until he was looking at her eyes before she spoke. "You can touch me, you know," she said, smoothing a hand down his shirt. "I promise I won't break."

He caught her hand with his, keeping it in place on his chest. "I told you, I don't want to rush this. You went through a traumatic experience, Sam. We can take all the time you need. And hey, fragile is the last word I'd use to describe you – I know what you've been through and you're one of the strongest, most resilient people I know."

"And I told you that I want to move forward with you," she countered, "I don't want to keep looking back."

"It's not about looking back," Jack tried to tell her. "It's about not putting you in a position to remember what you went through."

She turned her head away from him as something flashed over her face, gone before he could identify it. Her hand dropped from his chest and she plucked idly at her sweatpants, working her jaw and suddenly the atmosphere between them was charged with a different kind of tension. A moment later her gaze locked on his, frustration written all over her face. "You're not him. You think I don't know that?"

His heart ached for her at the hurt in her tone and he silently berated himself for upsetting her. To think he always accused Daniel of having bad timing… but at the same time, he also knew this was a subject they needed to broach, even if he didn't particularly want to talk about it. Shifting, he sat a little more upright, his ardor cooling quickly. "I know." He sighed, trying to find the right words. "I know that when we're doing this," he gestured between them, "you're here with me. But I also know that pretty much anything can trigger the bad stuff."

"I'm not going to deny there's bad stuff," she said, chuckling hollowly. Effortlessly, she followed his example and sat up, shifting until they were side by side, turned towards each other. "Back at the SGC, I looked up the CCTV from when Apophis was there. I know what he told all of you and that you had a little private chat with him about me."

"Sam-"

She forestalled his response with a hand on his arm. "And I'm pretty sure Teal'c and Moac probably filled you in on what Herit's role was as Klorel's mate."

Jack really didn't need the reminder. Apophis had taken great pleasure in telling him about 'his woman', even Skaara had tried to talk about it and Sam was right that both Teal'c and Moac had told him a little bit about her role. He swallowed against the bile rising in his throat and pushed his discomfort to the recesses of his mind. Right now, Sam needed him to be supportive, not show his disgust or sympathy. "Some of it, yeah."

"Do you know what the Rite of Un ḥer ȧm setcherit is?"

"Is that… the, um, mating ritual?" He was pretty bad at the Goa'uld language and all the different rites and other cultural stuff they and the Jaffa had, but one look at Sam's face told him all he needed to know. Anger welled up in him at the injustice of it all and he clenched his fists, trying to hide his reaction from her.

To her credit, she didn't look away and he was once again amazed by her strength. "Do you know what it entails?"

"Teal'c didn't elaborate and Daniel said he couldn't find anything about it in his research." He noticed her minute reaction and it took him a minute to realize the brief flash of relief in her eyes probably had more to do with Daniel – and what Sha're undoubtedly went through as well – than her.

"It's an ancient ritual," Sam said, in an almost clinically detached voice. "It dates back to when the Unas were taken as hosts. I doubt it's written down anywhere."

"Oh."

Her smile was brittle as she started to explain, but she didn't falter and soldiered on. "Goa'uld rarely want to share their power but when they do, it's usually with offspring or mates. To ensure a mate's loyalty and cement their standing among their slaves, the Goa'uld have the mating ritual. It's a primal display of submissiveness and dominance. The less powerful Goa'uld submits and the dominant one… accepts it and, in Klorel's case, gives power in return."

Jack's mind was already filling in the blanks, he didn't need her to elaborate on the ritual. Back in the early days of the Program he'd had his own experience with primal behavior when half the base got infected with an alien virus and really, what primitive behavior would a simple Unas resort to in order to display their dominance over a female? The mention of power threw him for a moment, until he recalled the Goa'uld tech she'd had on her. "A ribbon device."

"It's a sign of trust. He hands Herit a weapon and she, er, submits to him."

"… and then it's official?" He asked, after clearing his throat to dispel the images his mind conjured.

"Apophis used the ceremony to cement both their standing as his lieutenants, in order for Klorel and Herit to take his second mothership to attack Earth."

He frowned, "Apophis was there?"

Sam nodded mutely, gnawing her lip. "It's a… public ritual."

"Oh."

"All the important Jaffa and Goa'uld are present as witnesses, to relay the news to those under their command."

Fighting to keep his feelings in check, Jack reached for her hand in silent support. "Sam-"

She quirked a smile as she looked down at his hand covering hers, before turning questioning eyes on him. "Do you remember what I told you about the pregnancy-"

"-and how it allowed you to stay in control of Herit?"

"Yeah."

When she simply kept staring at him intently, he suddenly realized what she wasn't telling him and swallowed hard. "That was before…?"

"Apophis and Klorel were in a rush. I was put in the sarcophagus before and after the implantation, to make it easier for Herit to take over."

"Except she couldn't because of the baby," he finished.

Sam shook her head, "Not without causing a miscarriage."

"You were in control during the ritual."

"She warned me beforehand, sort of," she said, an unreadable expression on her face. "The prospect of what was to come amused her."

Jack squeezed her hand and gritted his teeth, "God, Sam."

Squaring her shoulders, she locked gazes with him. "I knew what was in store for me and I made the decision to pretend to be Herit, to keep the baby and hopefully prevent an attack on Earth."

"Jesus-"

"I did what I did to survive, Jack. That might seem difficult to grasp now, but back then the decision was easy even though I despised what I had to do. So yeah, there was plenty of bad stuff."

He'd seen her in the midst of nightmares and didn't need convincing. But up until now, he'd only had a suspicion of what she'd gone through. "You know," he said, clearing his throat, "you're a pretty remarkable woman, Samantha Carter."

A genuine smile briefly appeared on her lips, lighting up her face. Then, she turned serious again and sighed. "I hate some of the things I was forced to do, but I'm not a traumatized rape victim, Jack."

"You can't go through all of that and just forget about it," he warned her.

"I know. The therapy sessions with Doctor MacKenzie are supposed to help me cope. With his advice, I'll find a way to learn to live with it."

Slowly, Jack reached up to cup her face in his hands. "Yeah, you will."

She mirrored his pose and leaned forward, pressing a light kiss to his lips. Smiling, she took one of his hands in hers and squeezed it, "I'm getting tired. I think I'll turn in."

"I'm gonna call it a night too." He got to his feet and pulled her with him, smiling when she leaned into him a little longer than necessary. Holding her hand, he guided her to the back of the house, stopping once they reached her room – technically, his bedroom. He looked in when she opened the door, the light from the hallway providing enough illumination to make out their sleeping daughter in the middle of his bed.

Jack wasn't sure how to read the look Sam was giving him and right now, he didn't really trust his instincts. His feelings were all jumbled up from their evening together and he felt both humbled by her opening up and the strong desire to make everything better for her. So, instead of kissing her like he wanted, he caressed her cheek. "You gonna be okay?"

She quirked a smile, "I will be. Good night, Jack."

"Good night," he whispered, as she leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He waited until she'd entered the ensuite to close the bedroom door and make his way to the guest room.