Author's Note: Alright, pardon my French, but this one was just...fucking majestic. No lies.

Day Eighty-One: Haunted by Taylor Swift

We always tiptoed around each other, Mona and I. There was a fine line between us. I never thought she'd cross it.

She shattered it. It was broken, gone. Unfixable.

"Mona! Where are you?"

She didn't answer, so I just kept walking blindly into the forest. It was so dark and eerily quiet. The crickets weren't even chirping. I couldn't even trust the forest, or the moon, or anything else in the air.

It was very foggy that night. Tendrils of what looked like smoke arose from the forest ground, leaving a gossamer coating of white over everything. It moved slowly, almost painfully so. The moisture tickled my skin.

I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until I saw her. I let it all out.

"Mona!"

She spotted me and there was a small glimmer of fear in her huge hazel eyes. I ran after her.

Finally, she was led to a dead end. I got the chance to catch up with her in those small moments of shock.

"Where is he? Where the hell is he?"

"I don't—"

"You know! Where is he? I swear to God, Mona, if you did anything to—"

"I didn't do anything."

I knew she wasn't lying. That's what scared me the most.

"Where is he?" I asked weakly.

She was silent.

"Mona, where is he? Please! You need to tell me." I felt tears brimming on my eyes. What was this feeling?

Desperation?

"Please."

The doctor made a house call for me. That's how all my friends described it.

In part, I felt guilty. I was stringing him along to believe he had a shot. I knew he had a crush on me. But those feelings weren't mutual.

He was trying really hard to make me happy. Sometimes, he even made me smile, as depressed and pragmatic as I was at the moment.

But I always wanted more. Like a spoiled bitch who always wants more and more. I wanted him. I'd never be satisfied until I got him. And I could not get him.

Not anymore.

He walked away. That was the choice he made. It was choice I would have to deal with.

"You won't ever see him again, Spencer," she promised me. "I guarantee it. And she's not going to be happy."

"Mona, I don't even care anymore. This is all a game to me. But he isn't. What we have isn't going to be used like my Achilles Heel. Not anymore."

For the first time, Mona looked…scared. I think she realized I was more of a threat than she had ever imagined.

I just shook my head before I walked back out to the forest.

"Spencer…you don't want to go there!"

"Or what? What do I have left to lose?"

My breath hitched when I saw it.

I saw him.

I saw his body, deified in heavenly gossamer coverings of white fog. It was almost beautiful in a very surreal, almost numbing, way.

I never ever thought I'd live to see the day she crossed the line beyond going back.

"No!"

His eyes were already cold. All of the life was drained out of those heavenly and almost innocent eyes.

All I kept thinking was that he wasn't gone. I knew it.

I couldn't lose him, not again.

I just knew it. He couldn't be gone.

So I sat and cried for forever with the body of the love of my life and the very bane of my existence.

I couldn't form any words. But I knew everything I would say to him. If only he could hear.

I would tell him not to leave. I'd tell him to stay. I'd tell him he was all I ever wanted. I'd tell him he was my air, my soul, my heart. I'd tell him things would never be the same without him. I'd tell him that his very touch left me haunted.

I'd tell him that every word he ever said to me meant something. Every single thing I ever told him was the truth, even when it wasn't. I couldn't lie to him.

I was just hoping that he could hear me, somewhere, somehow.

I was grasping onto hope and love as thin and gossamer and fake as the fog in the air.

I knew I couldn't say anything to him. So I turned to the girl who had been staring at the scene for however long it happened.

"I thought I knew who you were."

She looked at me with a small look of confusion in her eyes.

But somewhere, amongst the confusion and hatred, I knew there was a bit of sympathy. As psychotic and manic as she was, Mona was still a human. She still bled. She still felt.

She still knew how much I loved him.

LittleBittyAbby: Alright, well, basically, I already wrote all of this for you, but my fricking computer...anyway, I wanted to say some stuff about your story. So...I feel like some of the characters' reactions and scenarios are a bit unrealistic and possibly even a bit forced. But that's just come constructive criticism of mine. Please don't take it personally; it took me like two years of writing before I stopped writing such unrealistic stuff. And even now, I still sometimes do it.

Sarah: Well, I think you'd be in the 8th grade here, then. So in Canada...I'd be in year nine, but I take "year ten" courses, too. No, really, please don't smoke. It's not good for your teeth or your lungs or your fingers or your nails or your heart or your kidney or your spleen or your tongue or your brain or your mouth or...anything, really, except for cigarette companies. Girl DON'T. I like you too much. No. And ugh, bad music on the radio is like the story of my life. It's so annoying to hear people go on and on and on about some dumb pop act that'll get 15 minutes of fame on the radio.

tobyequalshottness: I'd be happier than a pig in mud if my life was fanfiction, writing, and eating everything unhealthy without gaining a pound or feeling like crap or really ever being unhealthy...sounds like heaven to me.

AL3110: No, I really have no clue what you're talking about. You are truly such a weird child. Good thing I am, too. We can be weird together.

eveningshades1107:I always miss you so much when I don't see your username come up in my reviews. I don't know. Yeah, I've seen Andrew shirtless, but I still think Toby is hotter. I just...his face and his abs. I just...I can't. Actually, reading your review made me think of a whole new fanfic idea. Whether or not I decide to pursue it as a fanfic or an actual book...I'll decide, but I'd like to fabricate it. I believe that is proper use of the word "fabricate". I hope. Really? I was kind of disappointed...just a little. And we actually lost. Miserably. But we're beating the house full of very conceited people who I want to use a worse name for but I can't...we're beating them by 205 points, so basically, if and only if we bomb in our collective GPAs and got like two hours of community service in our ENTIRE house, we'll win this year. We're pretty much made. Just...crossing my fingers I don't bomb my Geometry and Bio finals because Math is not my friend...I can't math...and my freaking Bio teacher does not know how to flipping teach like...when I write her eval, I'm literally giving her a "never" for everything and writing "I did not learn anything in this class" in the student comments. I'm not even joking. I'm so not dealing with her bs anymore. I love making either/both halves of Spoby less-than-upright citizens ;P

MilaMizz:I hate how I have to write American for my stuff because I ALWAYS want to write it in British terms. Ugh. Annoying. Wait...your name is Alyssa? I always almost slip up and tell everyone my real name, but I don't wanna...but you'll probably all find out eventually. So I'll just go by Kayson for now. Eh, I decided to write it out instead. And I'll probably be updating right after I update this (or I just updated? IDK, depends on how I feel after I made the docs for both chapters for tonight...which reminds me I REALLY need to work on my Fabrastings stories because my followers almost certainly hate me). And yay! Awesome!

So as I ranted to Sarah, I've been a bit stressed with the prospect of finals in about two weeks, so I'm probably not going to be around very often in the next few weeks. I needs to study for Geometry (which I still don't understand...how do you study for math?) and Bio, in which my teacher does not teach. And then finish this massive outline for History which is actually ALMOST done.

BUT I need to rant about ze freaking Bio teacher. Our final is in three weeks. Not even. It's actually another two weeks. She's still "teaching" us stuff until next Friday and she's giving us three days to review the week before finals. AND SHE DIDN'T TEACH US ANYTHING ALL YEAR. She's not even giving us an outline of what we need to know. And by outline, I literally just mean a list of topics. She's not even giving us that. Like...you're kidding, right? I am going to fail this biology final. FAIL. All she ever does in class is give us notes and sometimes labs and that's basically it. She just says stuff and expects us to remember it all.

I'm sorry for unloading all this crap on you. But I'm just very...salty. I feel salty today.

The next song is going to be I Found a Boy by Adele. It may or may not suck. I don't know.

Bye. -Salty Kayson