40. Past and Future

Rumplestiltskin stood at the doorway, rocking back and forth on his heels. It was time to tell her. The month he'd given Belle to find an alternative route to their son had expired the day before, but Rumple was finding it difficult to carry on with his original plans. To have the hope of Belle finding something else, to have her working studiously by his side was a wonderful thing, and he was reluctant to give it up. He wondered what she would do when he told her he was going to have to meet Regina today. He could just see the disappointment in her eyes, the bitter sting of defeat as she struggled on whether to let him go or beg him to stay.

He wanted to stay. But he needed his son.

With a sigh, Rumple stepped forward. He watched as Belle turned the page and felt his chest tighten. He was about to disappoint her. Again. And it filled him with frustration. There had to be another way. There had to be a simpler way to the land without magic. But no other Dark One had ever cared – nor wanted – to go to a land without magic. Why would they? And so there was nothing in his memories about how to travel between realms. Apparently none of the other books contained that information either.

It was easy to travel between worlds, but the majority of those contained magic. Rumple knew he could portal jump, there were plenty of resources in that regard, but there was nothing about getting to a magicless land.

The one place he wanted to go was the one place he couldn't reach, for all his power.

He stopped walking and instead watched Belle a little longer. She was completely unaware of his presence, too absorbed with the books in front of her. At any rate, seeing her determined and working was a comfort. The faces she made as she read something confusing or intriguing were precious to him. Having her on his side and fighting the same battle as him was equally comforting. He just hoped their endeavors didn't end in failure. Rumple was so tired of failing, but Belle was here, and that gave him hope. Watching his wife silently reading over spells and potions gave Rumple the courage he needed to move closer and break the news to her. She would be disappointed, but perhaps it would stir her resolve. If he believed in nothing else, he believed in Belle. She was his mantra, his driving force, and he could not doubt her now.

He stood before her, and she remained oblivious to his presence. He waited a moment, but when she did not look up after turning three pages he stooped down with a sigh. There was no use in delaying any longer. Pressing his hand to her thigh, Belle jumped and looked up with red eyes.

"You're exhausted," he said simply.

Belle shrugged. "I'm fine."

He wasn't going to argue. She was stubborn, and he would accomplish nothing except fighting with her if he insisted she get some rest. Best to let her simply fall asleep on her own, book in hand.

"I have to go," he said and Belle blinked.

"Why?"

It was now or never. "It's been a month, Belle, and I can't delay."

He could see her expression drop, and she tilted her head down to stare at the book. "I didn't realize it had been so long," she whispered, "Time doesn't really mean much for me here."

"Please don't give up." He wasn't sure where the desperate plea came from, but now that it was out there was nothing to be done. He didn't know what he would do if Belle gave up. He didn't think he could bear to go through this alone again.

She closed the book and let it balance on the arm of the chair. Taking Rumple's hands in her own, she offered him an assuring grin. "I won't," she promised. "I'm going to keep looking. I've still got time, haven't I?"

Rumple nodded. "Aye, you do."

"Then I'll keep looking."

He'd never been so proud, or so in love with her than in that moment. "I love you," he said, feeling a stupid grin spreading across his lips.

"And I love you."

They paused a moment, then Belle lifted her eyes to once more meet his. "You really can't hold off longer?"

"It would be best not to."

She sighed. "Very well."

She stood, pulling Rumple up with her and wrapping her arms around his neck. He held her by the waist, burying his nose into her hair and breathing deeply. "I'm sorry, Belle," he whispered, hating himself even more for bringing them to this place. Cowardice had cost him so much. He wondered if he would ever be free of the debt.

"Don't be sorry," Belle chided gently, turning her head to press a kiss against his neck. "You gave me a month, and I failed."

"You haven't failed," he insisted.

"Hopefully I won't."

He stepped away from her and took her hands in his. "I'll be back soon."

Stepping back and letting their hands fall away, Rumple flicked his wrist, and a cloud of smoke settled around him. When it cleared, his attire had changed. Where he once wore the simple leather pants and a red silk shirt with waistcoat, he now wore all black, with a large spiky jacket. He seemed more mischievous, and tittered menacingly at his wife. Rolling her eyes, Belle stepped forward and reached out to adjust the black cravat tied around his neck.

"Fearsome as ever," she teased, and Rumple smiled wickedly at her.

"Must look the part, dearie."

She gripped the lapels of his jacket. "I love you."

Rumple sobered, the showman vanishing for the moment. "I love you too."

"When am I going to be able to kiss you again?"

That question caught him off guard, and Rumple had to think a long moment before he could register what she had asked. Having her so close, so willing in his arms was enough to drive him to distraction. Now she wanted to kiss him, and he was going to have to take a few minutes to calm himself before he appeared in front of the queen.

"I've got a few more steps before it's finished," he said, brushing his fingers over her cheek. "It will be soon. "

"Well, hurry up," she smiled, "I've a longing to kiss my husband."

"And you shall," Rumple swore. "I've no idea why you wish to, but I shall deny you nothing."

He could see her contemplate scolding him for the self-deprecating comment, but she let it go in favor of hugging him again.

"Be safe."

He stepped away, bowed deeply, and vanished.

~000~

When Rumplestiltskin reappeared, it was in a room elaborately decorated by someone who clearly enjoyed black. It was tacky, Rumple thought as he crinkled his nose in distaste. Everything was dark and foreboding, and while he knew his own castle looked like some kind of hoarder's paradise, he at least had a wife who took pains to keep the place decent and homey. This room, and the others if he were correct, looked like a lair suited for someone who valued the discomfort of others rather than their own comfort.

In that regard, Rumplestiltskin thought, perhaps the place was perfect.

Belle would hate it here, he thought with mild amusement. It was too dark and too depressing. He could just see Belle's reaction, and envisioned the look of disgust on her face as he described the setting to her. That thought gave him pause. He had a wife to whom he could return home and share stories. What a glorious feeling that was! Nearly ten months ago they'd barely been able to look at one another. Now they were working together, and Belle had voiced her desire to kiss him. Things between them were beginning to get better, where nearly a year ago they had been all but destroyed.

It hit him like a knife. It had been nearly a year. Rumple thought back and realized with a gasp that Baelfire's birthday was coming up in a week. It was a blow to the heart, and Rumple staggered back as it dawned on him that his son would be celebrating a birthday in an unknown world, possibly all alone and scared. How had the time gone by so quickly? He'd taken the powers of the Dark One right before his son's fourteenth birthday. His son's fifteenth had been pleasant enough, though the strains between the family had already settled deep. Bae had vanished not two months after that.

Now he would be sixteen. Rumple swallowed thickly and took a moment to collect himself. He could not dwell on Bae now. But it restored his drive and his anger, and he knew that what he was doing was the right thing to do. He had a deal to make.

"Who are you?"

Rumple spun around, slowly and deliberately, to see a young woman standing before him. Where the room around them was dark and dreary, she was a shining light dressed in a long white gown, her pale skin glowed against the few lit candles. Her dark hair cascaded down her back in black waves, while her lips shown as red as if they were coated in the blood of her enemies. Rumple smirked. This girl would do just fine.

"The name is Rumplestiltskin, Your Majesty," he said, easily falling into character and sweeping into a low bow, "And I'm here - Regina - because I believe I have something you need."

The queen raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, apparently unimpressed. "You're the Dark One," she said at length. "I know about you; you trained my mother."

Placing a hand dramatically to his chest, Rumple giggled. He hadn't trained her mother, but the Dark One had. May as well use that to his advantage. If the girl suspected he'd had a relationship with her mother, perhaps that could be used to his advantage. What she didn't know couldn't hurt her. Yet.

"I see my reputation precedes me," Rumple said smugly.

"She didn't like you."

"Yes, well, we all have our difference," Rumple said with a wave of his hand, "Not every partnership can last forever."

"Did she make some sort of deal with you for me?"

Wasn't she perceptive, Rumple thought with amusement? From what he knew of the situation – and wasn't it maddening when some memories were only half-retained? – was that Regina was part of a deal. She was meant to be the child of the Dark One, though Rumple didn't know to what end. What he did know was that the girl's mother and his predecessor had parted on very bad terms, and now he was back to take that very daughter to twist and use to his own particular end.

Fate was a funny thing sometimes.

"No, no, dearie," Rumpelstiltskin said as he began to walk. "I'm not here because of your mother. I'm here because of you."

She touched a well-manicured hand to her chest. "Me?"

"Yes, yes, dear," Rumple said dramatically. "You."

"What do you want with me?"

Rumple turned and took a moment to study the queen. If he didn't look too closely, he could almost pretend she was an innocent. She was young, wide eyed and pretty, but beyond those shallow features laid a dormant anger and hatred that raged and demanded to be let loose. She was full of it. Her eyes were lovely and dark, and they housed a rage unlike anything Rumple had ever witnessed. She was thirsty for revenge, and apparently only partially bothered by the deep-seated wrath that rested within her. This girl had enough darkness in her to cast the curse. She just needed a gentle push in the right direction.

She flushed under his scrutiny, then finally steeled herself and asked again, "What do you want?"

Rumple tittered, waving his hands in a flourish, "I want to help you," he said with a dishonest smile.

Regina laughed bitterly, "Help me? How? Can you make all my problems go away? Can you kill that horrid Snow White? Can you bring back my true love? Can you guarantee my happy ending?" She was losing her composure, clearly all those problems weighing heavily on her heart and mind. She was a twig on the verge of snapping, and Rumple needed to make her bend just a little further.

Oh yes, Rumple thought, surprised at his glee. This was perfect.

"I can't," Rumple said simply, "But you can. With my help."

She tilted her head curiously, looking interested in his proposal. "I have a curse," Rumple began as he sauntered around the room, "That can guarantee your happy ending, as well as the eternal misery of everyone who has ever wronged you."

Her eyes lit up as if he'd just given her the world. And really, he had. "It's a curse that will make everyone, but you," he stressed, "Forget who they are. They'll be separated from those they love. They'll have no memory of this place or who they were. And you can rule over them all, reveling in the joy of knowing that no one shall ever be happy again - but you."

Regina stepped forward, and her smile turned wicked. In the back of his mind, Rumple could see an image of the girl's mother, her own blood red lips wearing the very same wicked grin. Resisting a shiver, Rumple stepped forward. "Interested?"

She nodded eagerly. "Of course I am!" She exclaimed. "I'll take it."

"Ah ah," Rumple said, wagging a finger in front of her face. She crinkled her nose and stepped back from him, clearly not wanting to be touched. "There's a price for this, dearie."

Regina shrugged. "I'll give you anything."

Rumple smirked and laughed impishly. "I like your determination," he declared with a flair, "The price is this: You cannot cast the curse until I tell you so. And when the times comes, you must cast it."

Regina stared at him incredulously. "That's it?" She asked. "I can't cast it until you tell me to."

"And you have to cast it. No matter your reservations. Once you agree to this, there's no getting out of it."

"Why would I want to get out of it?" She demanded, "This is my happy ending."

"Of course it is, dearie."

There was so much more to the curse than that. The key to her happy ending was not in this curse, but that would not get him what he wanted. He felt a small pang of guilt at manipulating this young woman, but he'd already witnessed the darkness within her. He could not feel too bad about using her own vengeful desires to get him what he wanted.

At any rate, if Belle succeeded, there would be no need for the curse. If Belle failed, well, Rumple thought, it was a good thing all curses can be broken.

"Then I'll do it."

Rumple produced a contract out of air, and Regina reached out instantly for the quill. She signed her name at the bottom, then smiled at Rumple menacingly. "When can I cast it?"

"Patience, dearie," Rumple teased, making the contract disappear, "Good things come to those who wait."

"An estimate, then."

Rumple pursed his lips as he thought. He knew what needed to be done in order to break the curse, and that would take a few more years to accomplish. "I've numerous affairs I must take care of first," Rumple explained cryptically, "There are several factors that must fall into place before you can truly enjoy the full experience of your happy ending."

"Such as?" Regina prompted.

"Well," Rumple said slowly, "What good is taking away one's happiness if they aren't truly happy?"

Regina stared for a long moment before understanding dawned. "You want Snow White to find her happy ending?"

"There's a good girl!" Rumple praised. "Yes," he said. "And once she has it. You-" he stopped, motioning for her to complete the idea.

"Take it away."

Rumple grinned. "Exactly."

"I like the way you think, Rumplestiltskin."

Ignoring her, Rumple said, "I'll check up on you from time to time, see how you're fairing."

"Very well."

"Might want to practice your magic in the meantime," Rumple instructed, "This curse won't be easy to cast.

"I'll do whatever it takes," Regina swore.

Rumple grinned. "Happy to hear it."

Then he vanished once more, trying not to hate himself for what he'd just done.

~000~

Belle glanced up; her vision was blurry, and her eyes were sore. The sun was setting beyond the window, and she frowned. How long ago had Rumple left? How long had she been reading? Time really meant so little to her now, and it was amazing how she could go for hours without noticing any time had passed at all.

She stood, wincing as her muscles protested from the movement after so staying idle for so long. Belle touched her hand to her stomach, which growled at the contact and decided that she needed to eat. She didn't feel very hungry, but if she was going to insist on Rumple eating regularly, then she needed to do so as well.

She left the room, then stopped. If Rumple was back, perhaps he was hungry too. Deciding to first see if he had returned, she turned down another hallway, and called out his name. She checked the great hall, the kitchens themselves, and her bedroom, but he was not there. Deciding there was only one other room he might be occupying, Belle headed toward Baelfire's room. If he wasn't there, then she would simply go back to the kitchen and make dinner, and she would prepare him something when he eventually returned.

It was with a relief that she saw a crack in the door. He was back. But this also posed a problem. What could have caused him to shut himself away in their son's room? She could only imagine he was upset, and decided to tread carefully. She pushed the door open to find Rumple sitting on Bae's bed. He was holding the boy's shawl, staring at it forlornly.

Belle approached him softly and knelt down at his feet. "I thought you might be here," she said softly, reaching up to lay her hand over his. "I'm positively famished," she said, "Would you like to come eat with me?"

Rumple shook his head slightly, and Belle frowned. "What's wrong?" She asked, rising onto her knees. "Did Regina refuse?"

"No," Rumple whispered, "She's eager."

"Then what's wrong?"

He didn't look at her. "Do you know what next week is?"

Belle stared at him curiously, then shook her head. "I'm sorry to say I've no idea what the date is."

His voice was soft, and Belle almost missed the words. "It's Bae's birthday."

Belle gasped, her hand flying up to cover her mouth. His birthday? He'd been gone nearly a year, then. Belle felt tears sting her already pained eyes and she lowered her head. "Oh, Bae."

"I only realized it after I left," Rumple said. "I thought I might break down in front of the Queen."

"Oh, Rumple…."

"I'm so sorry, Belle," Rumple said as he began to shake. "I've ruined everything."

Belle pulled him into her arms, and he cried into her shoulder as she held him. "It's been hard for both of us," she said, fighting her own tears, "We're trying. And we're together. And we'll be together soon."

Rumple said nothing, instead he wrapped his arms around Belle and held her tight. When at last he calmed, he sat back up. Belle sank down once more, one their hands still joined.

"We should celebrate his birthday," she whispered thoughtfully, "I want to think of what Bae would do if he were here."

"He'd want to visit Morainne," Rumple smiled, then added, "And Anna."

"He'd insist I make those cakes he liked so much."

"And eat half of them before you caught him."

"And I'd get so upset and kick him out of the kitchen, telling him to go bother his father."

"But you'd laugh when he was gone," Rumple smiled at the vision. "Because you love that he loves them."

Belle nodded. "And you'd spoil him with all kinds of gifts; books and clothing and a sword," Belle sniffled, though she was smiling, "He always wanted a real sword."

"I'd have given him one," Rumple said indulgently. "And I would have taught him how to use it properly."

"He would have had such a wonderful time," Belle said dreamily. Rumple agreed.

"Aye, he would."

Their eyes met, and though it was a deep ache, then both felt peace. They would celebrate their son when the day came, and though it would be a day marred by the distinct absence of their precious boy, they would carry on and honor the child they both loved so much. And soon enough, they would be reunited with him once more.

Author's Notes:

Again, I've changed some aspects of the character's histories. The Dark One and Cora still had their fling, but it wasn't Rumple specifically. In this I also had to make Regina less hesitant about going dark.

But what does all this mean for Belle? Will she find something? Or is it Rumple's destiny to create and have the Dark Curse cast? Who knows. (I do.)

Thanks to my betas. You guys rock. And thank you to all my readers. I appreciate your support so much.

I do not own Once Upon a Time. All characters and rights belong to ABC, Adam Horowitz, and Eddy Kitsis.